Old is when people compliment your alligator shoes, and you're not wearing any.

You know you're old when someone compliments you on your alligator shoes, and you're barefoot.

When you go into court you are putting your fate into the hands of twelve people who weren't smart enough to get out of jury duty.

Hearing aids didn't cause any problem with my social life, my career, no problem at all, and I've been wearing them for a long time. As a matter of fact, once I became an entertainer and started working on television, I was probably the first performer to talk about hearing problems on the air.

When you go into court, you are putting your fate into the hands of twelve people who weren't smart enough to get out of jury duty

A handicap is only if you let it be a handicap.