One of the obstacles to recognizing chronic mistreatment in relationships is that most abusive men simply don’t seem like abusers. They have many good qualities, including times of kindness, warmth, and humor, especially in the early period of a relationship. An abuser’s friends may think the world of him. He may have a successful work life and have no problems with drugs or alcohol. He may simply not fit anyone’s image of a cruel or intimidating person. So when a woman feels her relationship spinning out of control, it is unlikely to occur to her that her partner is an abuser.
Lundy Bancroft
Related Empathy is the new measurement of everything. It doesn't matter what religion you have, what God you... C. JOYBELL C. I am often asked how it is that I am able to value people to such a deep degree. Apparently, I exhib... C. JOYBELL C. The woman knows from living with the abusive man that there are no simple answers. Friends say: “H... LUNDY BANCROFT I believe that the most important thing for a couple of any sort, to realize in their relationship w... C. JOYBELL C. You must save what you can of your life; you musn't lose it all simply because you've lost a part. HENRY JAMES She was scarcely a year older than I was, dark-haired, slender, with a face that would break your he... GEORGE R.R. MARTIN The symptoms of abuse are there, and the woman usually sees them: the escalating frequency of put-do... LUNDY BANCROFT Like a deep sad note played beneath the ocean waving through the orb the memories of ... PAWAN MISHRA Life is not a game. Still, in this life, we choose the games we live to play. J.R. RIM I don't think that anyone should be in control of a relationship. I think that if you have a wom... MO'NIQUE Many a woman is in a relationship with or married to her man not because she loves him but only beca... MOKOKOMA MOKHONOANA Each man lives in his own universe and when he dies the world is over BANGAMBIKI HABYARIMANA The narcissistic love match is inherently unstable. Any intrusion of reality can destabilize the rel... SANDY HOTCHKISS She wasn't bitter. She was sad, though. But it was a hopeful kind of sad. The kind of sad that just ... STEPHEN CHBOSKY So, I guess we are who we are for alot of reasons. And maybe we'll never know most of them. But even... STEPHEN CHBOSKY I love my mom so much. I don't care if that's corny to say. I think on my next birthday, I'm going t... STEPHEN CHBOSKY We Are All Infinite STEPHEN CHBOSKY (All the grief she had suffered over her lifetime had moulded her face into a mask of eternal sadnes... JEAN SASSON You can't just sit there and put everyone's lives ahead of yours and think that counts as love. You ... STEPHEN CHBOSKY I saw other people there. Old men sitting alone. Young girls with blue eye shadow and awkward jaws. ... STEPHEN CHBOSKY That one moment when you know you are not a sad story. You are ALIVE. STEPHAN CHBOSKY Somos quienes somos por un montón de razones.Quizás nunca conozcamos la mayoría de ellas.Pero aun... STEPHEN CHBOSKY Ambos dijeron que tomara asiento y parecían hablar en serio, así que me senté. STEPHEN CHBOSKY I know these will all be stories some day, and our pictures will become old photographs. We all beco... STEPHEN CHBOSKY So I guess we are who we are for a lot of reasons. And maybewe'll never know most of them. STEPHEN CHBOSKY So I guess we are who we are for a lot of reasons. And maybe we'll never know most of them. STEPHEN CHBOSKY There's nothing like the deep breathes after laughing that hard. Nothing in the world like a sore st... STHEPHEN CHBOSKY no more pencils, no more books, no more teachers' dirty looks, when the teacher rings the bell, drop... STEPHEN CHBOSKY I don't know the significance of this, but I find it very interesting. STEPHEN CHBOSKY Maybe it’s sad that these are now memories. And maybe it’s not sad. STEPHEN CHBOSKY Many a woman would not be in a relationship with or married to her man, if he earned half of what he... MOKOKOMA MOKHONOANA I'm fucking the grave, I thought, I'm bringing the dead back to life... CHARLES BUKOWSKI A person of value have skill, a vision & a deep desire to achieve what they dream for. Happiness com... DR ANIL KUMAR SINHA The abuser’s mood changes are especially perplexing. He can be a different person from day to day,... LUNDY BANCROFT Never give up on you. In order to make a difference you would have to somehow be different. JOHNNIE DENT JR. The problem with depicting abusers as full-time monsters is that when a person is actually experienc... MIYA YAMANOUCHI I'm not saying that I'm better than anyone... I'm just saying that I'm one-of-a-kind. C LIONG It seems to me that the the portrayal of a minority in a position of authority, but without the subs... DAVID MILCH You're still lovely," Mor said a bit gently. Elain offered a half smile. "I suppose that war m... SARAH J. MAAS I wish I was home", She said miserably. She tried so hard to be brave, to be fierce as a... GEORGE R.R. MARTIN Instead, every precaution was taken not to violate his rights. Remember, many administrators have no... JAMES C. DOBSON 35. God is entitled to a portion of our income—not because He needs it but because we need to give... JAMES C. DOBSON Although the typical abusive man works to maintain a positive public image, it is true that some wom... LUNDY BANCROFT It works as a deterrent. Any issue that may occur, if a student is in possession of drugs or alcohol... DENNIS WILLIAMS Women are designed to help men and men are designed to love and honor them SOTONYE ANGA Ana Magdalena nods. For an instant the blue eyes fix on his. 'She sees straight through me', he thin... J.M. COETZEE the deceased don’t want you to forget about them. They just want you to move past it; not to dwell... JUSTIN PYFROM The answer isn't more time but a greater awareness of the time we have. CRAIG GROESCHEL Be grateful for every moment and every breath. TERESA COLLINS Plunging in “truths” about God is like walking on the bottom of a sea that is not there, searchi... MARIANA FULGER We die a day at a time BANGAMBIKI HABYARIMANA Training is an active, dynamic process lived out daily in all areas of life- not a rote exercise in ... CRAIG GROESCHEL Islam exhorts men to respect and honor women. The status of the wife is so respected in Islam that i... ANON. Wake up to a brand new day and realize why you woke up to meet the day! Live to the end of another d... ERNEST AGYEMANG YEBOAH I used to think that finding the right one was about the man having a list of certain qualities. If ... DEB CALETTI In a world full of war, famine, oppression, deceit, monotony, what—apart from the eternal innocenc... HENRY MULISCH Oh happy day! A day to make a hay! And when it is mid-day, think about the day! And when you think a... ERNEST AGYEMANG YEBOAH Go thou, deceased, to this earth which is a mother, and spacious
and kind. May her touch be soft l... UNATTRIBUTED AUTHOR A beautiful woman looking at her image in the mirror may very well believe the image is herself. An ... SIMONE WEIL In the journey of life, certain paths may seem to be leading nowhere because of a mountain or hill o... ERNEST AGYEMANG YEBOAH I was very grateful to have heard it again. Because I guess we all forget sometimes. And I think eve... STEPHEN CHBOSKY I guess we are who we are for a lot of reasons. And maybe we'll never know most of them. But even if... STEPHEN CHBOSKY A woman is so selfish that in order to safeguard her vested-interest and secure high position, she m... ANUJ SOMANY Remember that whatever may be said by a lady or her friends, it is not part of conduct of a gallant ... SAM HOUSTON When it comes to family, a lot of times they think the more the merrier, and it doesn't occur to the... MARILYN OLIVEIRA As far back as history records people thinking, thinking people
have been befuddled by the mysteries... LEWIS N. ROE The issue isn't whether he loved you, it's how much. Too much. Love can be poison SARAH J. MAAS I am broken and healing, but every piece of my heart belong to you. SARAH J. MAAS He thinks he'll be remembered as the villain in the story. But I forgot to tell him that the villain... SARAH J. MAAS Night gathers, and now my watch begins. It shall not end until my death. I shall take no wife, hold ... GEORGE R.R. MARTIN Hodor," said Hodor. GEORGE R.R. MARTIN You do what you love, what you need SARAH J. MAAS I turned. Rhysand leaned against the archway into the sitting room, arms crossed, wings nowhere... SARAH J. MAAS It is solely by risking life that freedom is obtained; . . . the individual who has not staked his o... GEORG WILHELM FRIEDRICH HEGEL Most of us think we're too busy or too important to rest for a day. CRAIG GROESCHEL This is the Modern Man, who cannot save himself but wants to save the world. He is the Wise who... CRISTIANE SERRUYA Man can never know the loneliness a woman knows. Man lies in the woman's womb only to gather strengt... ANAïS NIN There are types of people who want to have leverage over other people's lives. For no other reason t... C. JOYBELL C. It is much more valuable to look for the strength in others. You can gain nothing by criticizing the... DAISAKU IKEDA Any commands which Congress may have for me shall be cheerfully executed by one of their earliest so... MARQUIS DE LAFAYETTE Why should her lover, just because he is male, be in a position to judge her against other women? Wh... NAOMI WOLF She leaned forward, her gaze so intense that Helen wanted to look away. “And I love him more for i... ELIZABETH HOYT Terrorists have concluded, with the help of many others, that there may be a relationship between a ... COFER BLACK You release the pain of the past and press on. It's a new day, and God is doing a new thing. He want... CRAIG GROESCHEL The mightiest power of death is not that it can make people die, but that it can make the people you... FREDRIK BACKMAN Closed eyes, heart not beating, but a living love. AVIS COREA A woman may develop wrinkles and cellulite, lose her waistline, her bustline, her ability to bear a ... BARBARA GORDON More learning can occur when there are many obstacles then when thear are few or none. A life with d... BRIAN L. WEISS The unfortunate thing is that, sometimes, we slip, but, fortunately, consciously or unconsciously, w... ERNEST AGYEMANG YEBOAH It's too early to determine if alcohol or drugs were a contributing factor, or if the driver of the ... CHUCK ALLEN At times the world may seem an unfriendly and sinister place, but believe that there is much more go... LEMONY SNICKET A true Master is not a man, or in some cases a woman, that likes to fuck hard or control. People lik... TIFFANY DANIELLE Anyways, that very same night there was a fight in the casino on B Deck. Some of the passengers got ... CHRISTINA ENGELA YOUR ABUSIVE PARTNER DOESN’T HAVE A PROBLEM WITH HIS ANGER; HE HAS A PROBLEM WITH YOUR ANGER. LUNDY BANCROFT Clay in the hands of a good potter suffers so many good turns, but in the end, we see its real and t... ERNEST AGYEMANG YEBOAH Father-daughter incest is not only the type of incest most frequently reported but also represents a... JUDITH LEWIS HERMAN We all are wearing many hundred glasses of different colors. Therefore, everyone sees the world in d... MUDITHA CHAMPIKA The one characteristic of authentic power that most people overlook is humbleness. It is important f... GARY ZUKAV He couldn’t believe how lucky he was to have found a girl like her. She may have been the perfect ... JASON MEDINA Men are easily threatened. And whenever a man is threatened, when he becomes uncomfortable in places... LARRY CRABB
More Lundy Bancroft
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