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One small decision can change your life! That's why I always let someone else make my decisions, that way if something goes wrong I have somebody to blame other than myself.


Woody Allen

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I think Woody Allen is Woody Allen, and no matter where he goes he still makes his Woody Allen films...
ABBAS KIAROSTAMI In terms of my career, I am glad about the steps and moves that I have made. Because I would not wan...
CAPRICE BOURRET I am always wary of decisions made hastily. I am always wary of the first decision, that is, the fir...
POPE FRANCIS If someone is always to blame, if every time something goes wrong someone has to be punished, people...
PETER DIAMANDIS You think your life belongs to you? Tenar gave me my life. That's why I have to live, so that I can ...
GORO MIYAZAKI It’s my future and my life and I can’t make myself live the way someone else wants me to.
J.A. REDMERSKI There is no other way to change something or someone for the better except to occupy it first. The o...
GARY ZUKAV The only thing I really recommend, if you're starting out in stand-up is to not try to copy anyb...
ELLEN DEGENERES I'm very organized and tidy in my home life and I generally do something myself rather than farm...
MARK STRONG You can think something is one way all your life, and it turns out you're wrong, it can be something...
LIANE MORIARTY If your life is not to your liking then it is no ones fault but your own. Sorry if that offends you ...
NICK KINSELLA A cute outfit can really make your day. If I wear something I look good in, my mood just goes way up...
JENNETTE MCCURDY I never have had to change the team's decision on who the captain is. The team's captain decision ha...
DENISE LYONS No one else can make you happy, and putting that expectation on the other will doom both of you. You...
PENELOPE DOUGLAS ...I might mention my belief that girls who like Woody Allen movies are nicer girls than girls who d...
ADAM LEVIN I believe that we all have something to share with someone else that can better someone else's l...
J. R. MARTINEZ Certainly, other people can pray for you, they can believe for you, they can quote the scripture to ...
JOEL OSTEEN Woody Allen movies are like Beatles songs. I can't name my favorite without you immediately nami...
COLIN TREVORROW Ever noticed anytime we do something wrong, there's always someone to blame.
NERRYMIAH SCIPIO I sometimes wondered why I even answered the phone, but I guess I always had the hope that it would ...
CATHERINE LACEY I never blame myself when I'm not hitting. I just blame the bat, and if it keeps up, I change bats. ...
YOGI BERRA There is something infantile in the presumption that somebody else (parents in the case of children,...
RICHARD DAWKINS I always make a decision, even if it's the wrong one. I hate being confused.
YOLANDI VISSER I came to realize that if people could make me angry they could could control me. Why should I give ...
BEN CARSON I think that role model is kind of a weird thing because obviously you are, but I try to make good c...
DAKOTA FANNING Self-care is the number one solution to helping somebody else. If you are being good to yourself and...
MARY LAMBERT You have done something to your brain. You have made it high. If I lay 10 mls of diazepam on you, it...
BRUCE ROBINSON Blame someone else and get on with your life
ALAN WOODS Blame someone else and get on with your life.
ALAN WOODS I definitely have a little Woody Allen inside of me. That is true.
AUTRE NE VEUT I make decisions for my life, not the other way around. Besides, when you have a kid, you must weigh...
DEBRA WINGER I have a personal philosophy in life: If somebody else can do something that I'm doing, they sho...
NEIL DEGRASSE TYSON I like to be someone else. I like to be someone other than myself. I grew up watching movies and bei...
QUINTON AARON To be honest, I think he's been tougher on us than anyone else. If something goes wrong, he's consta...
ERIK RADICK Why do people, when they are wrong, twist the conversation around and place the blame on someone els...
HILARY GROSSMAN I always felt like if I did something big, I wanted to give something back. The best way is by helpi...
JOEY CHEEK I hate Woody Allen physically, I dislike that kind of man.
ORSON WELLES I make theater for myself, and if someone else can derive some value from it, fine.
RICHARD FOREMAN One wrong decision can ruin your whole life. - Shahwan SETHI
MUHAMMAD SHAHWAN TARIQ You can’t make a life-altering decision for someone else and expect it to stick.
, I GOT THIS: HOW I CHANGED MY WAYS AND LOST WHAT WEIGHED ME DOWN, 2012 why can people not just tell one story in life, someone always has something different to say, even ...
MIKE GRIST I never blame myself when I'm not hitting. I just blame the bat and if it keeps up, I change bat...
YOGI BERRA I was brought up to think that if you stuff up when you're older, you're gone, and someone else woul...
DEAN JONES If you can smile when things go wrong, you have someone in mind to blame.
SOURCE UNKNOWN If you can smile when things go wrong, you have someone in mind to blame.
UNKNOWN In my ideal life, I am ... If there's something on the list that I am not, I must ask myself if it's...
JAN DENISE You make decisions, and it doesn't always turn out right. That doesn't mean you made the wrong decis...
LYNNE AGEE Probably the only way Woody Allen and I are similar is that he has a lot to say about Nietzsche.
T. J. MILLER My brothers always like to believe that my father pampered me and I am spoilt. While it is not true,...
SONAKSHI SINHA Your principal motive on a movie set is to get the film made, but on a Woody Allen set, there's ...
REBECCA HALL I knew if I ever did something like this, I wanted to be able to give something back. The best way I...
JOEY CHEEK If something goes wrong at the plant, blame the guy who can't speak English.
DAN CASTELLANETA Never let someone else affect your happiness in a negative way. If you feel like you're vulnerable t...
DEVIN FRYE How can I take away somebody who means the world to someone else? Even if she is my enemy.
SARAH J. MAAS I have a Woody Allen Jewish attitude to life: that it's all going to be disastrous. That it hasn...
ANTONY SHER If I had my druthers, we wouldn't have made that decision … sometimes business decisions trump tec...
CHRIS RIGBY I will not have my life narrowed down. I will not bow down to somebody else's whim or to someone...
BELL HOOKS For so long, I was stuck in "either or" thinking. Either I had to change myself, or change the world...
VIRONIKA TUGALEVA Only I can change my life. No one else can do it for me.
GUNDO MULAUDZI There was only one other tanning salon. If I didn't open one, somebody else would have.
ANN LONG My influences were Woody Allen and Lenny Bruce.
DAVID STEINBERG We are taught you must blame your father, your sisters, your brothers, the school, the teachers - yo...
KATHARINE HEPBURN Every decision you make in life, not just on the sporting field - a lot of time and energy goes into...
RICKY PONTING No one believes more firmly than Comrade Napoleon that all animals are equal. He would be only too h...
GEORGE ORWELL I think it's always a really stupid thing to base your achievement on someone else. I just want ...
BRONTE CAMPBELL They made their decision, and I've got no one to blame but myself. They gave me a chance, and I blew...
CORY WITHROW Clearly if you can do it than I have to be concerned that someone else can as well.
HENRY HARRIS If you want to be somebody else, change your mind.
SISTER HAZEL I second-guess myself all the time. I make a decision and then wonder if I made the wrong choice.
KATE WALSH If something goes wrong, make yourself not to worry. No amount of worry can change or resolve anythi...
DR ANIL KUMAR SINHA I always wondered why somebody doesn't do something about that. Then I realized I was somebody.
LILY TOMLIN In life, I take my decisions and stand by them. Some decisions may have proven to be not the best, b...
KAJOL I realized that if my thoughts immediately affect my body, I should be careful about what I think. N...
YOKO ONO If you take responsibility and blame yourself, you have the power to change things. But if you put r...
DEJA KING The man who can smile when things go wrong has thought of someone else he can blame it on.
ROBERT BLOCH When it comes to investments, I have to go to someone else to understand them, but then I have to ma...
GREGORY MEEKS I try to live my life where I end up at a point where I have no regrets. So I try to choose the road...
DARREN ARONOFSKY I feel like I've been very smart in the way that I carry myself and treat myself. I feel like my...
EVAN ROSS I only had one life, and I'd be damned if I'd live it in a way that would make me unhappy and please...
LARRY BROWN I have one life and one chance to make it count for something . . . I'm free to choose what that som...
JIMMY CARTER It's great fun if you get a good piece of writing and you can pretend to be someone else, tell a sto...
COLIN HAY There is only one way to make your dream a reality: make the decision and then not change it.
DRAGOS BRATASANU Everything around me is evaporating. My whole life, my memories, my imagination and its contents, my...
FERNANDO PESSOA I made mistakes. I let other people influence me and make decisions, sometimes without my knowledge.
CATHY MORIARTY Why should I allow them to drape it? If they want to make propaganda, let them do it somewhere else....
ZAHI HAWASS It feels good to blame someone else, especially if they are smaller than you.
MARC LAMPE I have made decisions that turned out to be wrong, and went back and did it another way, and still t...
JERRY GILLIES Here, I've learned to defend myself,
I've learned to be stronger,
but one thing I haven't ...
VERONICA ROTH It's great fun if you get a good piece of writing and you can pretend to be someone else, tell a...
COLIN HAY If you want something to change your life, you must first let it!
N. S. COLE My life motto is 'Do my best, so that I can't blame myself for anything.'
MAGDALENA NEUNER My life used to be like that game of freeze tag we played as kids. Once tagged, you had to freeze in...
REGINA BRETT Before now, I used to be a victim of my environment. I saw people me blame the nation and everything...
SUNDAY ADELAJA How does a kid from Coos Bay, with one leg longer than the other win races? All my life people have ...
STEVE ROLAND PREFONTAINE That's an important lesson for me, to not qualify my experience against somebody else's. My ...
ALEXIS DENISOF The way a woman or a man handles themselves, at a certain age I can't blame you for the way you ...
TREY SONGZ I'm a writer and director, and the movie I've seen a million times is 'Stardust Memories...
ROMAN COPPOLA A student asked me recently why somebody always dies in my books. I said, because somebody is always...
CHRIS CRUTCHER Get ahead of whom? There is no one I want to shove past. I just want to get ahead of myself, make my...
ELEANOR ROOSEVELT Tell me something about yourself that no one else knows. Something I can keep for myself.
COLLEEN HOOVER

More Woody Allen

If you want to make God laugh, tell him about your plans.
WOODY ALLEN Comedy just pokes at problems, rarely confronts them squarely. Drama is like a plate of meat and pot...
WOODY ALLEN I'm very proud of my gold pocket watch. My grandfather, on his deathbed, sold me this watch.
WOODY ALLEN I don't want to achieve immortality through my work. I want to achieve it through not dying.
WOODY ALLEN My luck is getting worse and worse. Last night, for instance, I was mugged by a quaker.
WOODY ALLEN If you're not failing every now and again, it's a sign you're not doing anything very in...
WOODY ALLEN What if everything is an illusion and nothing exists? In that case, I definitely overpaid for my car...
WOODY ALLEN What if nothing exists and we're all in somebody's dream?
WOODY ALLEN There are worse things in life than death. Have you ever spent an evening with an insurance salesman...
WOODY ALLEN God is silent. Now if only man would shut up.
WOODY ALLEN I don't want to achieve immortality through my work. . . I want to achieve it through not dying.
WOODY ALLEN The lion and the calf shall lie down together but the calf won't get much sleep.
WOODY ALLEN The difference between sex and death is that with death you can do it alone and no one is going to m...
WOODY ALLEN There is a theory which states that if ever anybody discovers exactly what the Universe is for and w...
WOODY ALLEN Sex is nature's way of saying 'Hi!'
WOODY ALLEN Sex is like air; it's not important unless you aren't getting any
WOODY ALLEN sex is simple, love stings afterwards.
WOODY ALLEN If it wasn't for dogs, some people would never go for a walk.
WOODY ALLEN I took a test in Existentialism. I left all the answers blank and got 100.
WOODY ALLEN Sex is the most fun you can have without laughing.
WOODY ALLEN Love is the answer, but while you are waiting for the answer, sex raises some pretty good questions.
WOODY ALLEN I'm not afraid of death; I just don't want to be there when it happens.
WOODY ALLEN Life doesn't imitate art, it imitates bad television.
WOODY ALLEN Due to current economic conditions the light at the end of the tunnel has been turned off.
WOODY ALLEN What animal can jump higher than a house? Any animal that can jump at all, because houses can't jum...
WOODY ALLEN You know the speed of light; so what is the speed of dark?
WOODY ALLEN You're born free, then you're taxed to death.
WOODY ALLEN It doesn't make a difference what temperature a room is, it's always room temperature.
WOODY ALLEN The decision to decide is a decision in itself.
WOODY ALLEN Growing up is amazing, until you get old!
WOODY ALLEN All of us have moments in our lives that test our courage. Taking children into a house with a white...
WOODY ALLEN If I don't log into Facebook two days in a row, call the police, someone must've kidnapped me!
WOODY ALLEN I'm not anti-social. I'm just not social.
WOODY ALLEN Is sex dirty? Only when it's being done right.
WOODY ALLEN The difference between sex and love is that sex relieves tension and love causes it.
WOODY ALLEN I don't know the question, but sex is definitely the answer.
WOODY ALLEN I love nature, I just don't want to get any of it on me.
WOODY ALLEN In my next life I want to live my life backwards. You start out dead and get that out of the way. Th...
WOODY ALLEN Life is divided up into the horrible and the miserable.
WOODY ALLEN A Bay Area Bisexual told me I didn't quite coincide with either of her desires.
WOODY ALLEN Today I saw a red and yellow sunset and thought, how insignificant I am! Of course, I thought that y...
WOODY ALLEN Interestingly, according to modern astronomers, space is finite. This is a very comforting thought -...
WOODY ALLEN If you don't fail now and again, it's a sign you're playing it safe.
WOODY ALLEN In perpetrating a revolution, there are two requirements: someone or something to revolt against and...
WOODY ALLEN My one regret in life is that I'm not someone else.
WOODY ALLEN Why does man kill? He kills for food. And not only food: frequently there must be a beverage.
WOODY ALLEN It shows exactly what you can do if you're a total psychotic.
WOODY ALLEN I was thrown out of N.Y.U. my freshman year for cheating on my metaphysics final. You know, I looked...
WOODY ALLEN For a while we pondered whether to take a vacation or get a divorce. We decided that a trip to Bermu...
WOODY ALLEN Basically my wife was immature. I'd be at home in the bath and she would come in and sink my boats.
WOODY ALLEN The lion and the calf will lay down together, but the calf won't get much sleep..
WOODY ALLEN Marriage is the death of hope.
WOODY ALLEN Man consists of two parts, his mind and his body, only the body has more fun.
WOODY ALLEN I don't respond well to mellow, you know what I mean, I have a tendency to... if I get too mellow, I...
WOODY ALLEN I've never been an intellectual but I have this look.
WOODY ALLEN I don't want to achieve immortality through my work. I want to achieve it through not dying.
WOODY ALLEN I am at two with nature.
WOODY ALLEN Money is better than poverty, if only for financial reasons.
WOODY ALLEN If only God would give me some clear sign! Like making a large deposit in my name at a Swiss bank.
WOODY ALLEN I'm not afraid to die, I just don't want to be there when it happens.
WOODY ALLEN On the plus side, death is one of the few things that can be done just as easily as lying down.
WOODY ALLEN I don't believe in an after life, although I am bringing a change of underwear.
WOODY ALLEN It seemed the world was divided into good and bad people. The good ones slept better... while the ba...
WOODY ALLEN I will not eat oysters. I want my food dead -- not sick, not wounded -- dead.
WOODY ALLEN In Beverly Hills... they don't throw their garbage away. They make it into television shows.
WOODY ALLEN If my films make one more person miserable, I'll feel I have done my job.
WOODY ALLEN Capital punishment would be more effective as a preventive measure if it were administered prior to ...
WOODY ALLEN More than at any other time in history, mankind faces a crossroads. One path leads to despair and ut...
WOODY ALLEN A relationship, I think, is like a shark, you know? It has to constantly move forward or it dies. An...
WOODY ALLEN Eighty percent of success is showing up.
WOODY ALLEN What if nothing exists and we're all in somebody's dream? Or what's worse, what if only that fat guy...
WOODY ALLEN I was nauseous and tingly all over. I was either in love or I had smallpox.
WOODY ALLEN Sex alleviates tension. Love causes it.
WOODY ALLEN Of all the wonders of nature, a tree in summer is perhaps the most remarkable; with the possible exc...
WOODY ALLEN A fast word about oral contraception. I asked a girl to go to bed with me, she said 'no'.
WOODY ALLEN It is no secret that organized crime in America takes in over forty billion dollars a year. This is ...
WOODY ALLEN I think being funny is not anyone's first choice.
WOODY ALLEN I've often said, the only thing standing between me and greatness is me
WOODY ALLEN To love is to suffer. To avoid suffering, one must not love. But then, one suffers from not loving. ...
WOODY ALLEN Life is divided into the horrible and the miserable.
WOODY ALLEN Death is one of the few things that can be done as easily lying down. The difference between sex an...
WOODY ALLEN What do I dislike about death? Must be the hours.
WOODY ALLEN How to make God laugh: Tell him your future plans.
WOODY ALLEN Innovation is the ability to see change as an opportunity - not a threat
WOODY ALLEN Just don't take any class where you have to read BEOWULF.
WOODY ALLEN Eternity is really long, especially near the end
WOODY ALLEN I was thrown out of college for cheating on the metaphysics exam; I looked into the soul of the boy ...
WOODY ALLEN I believe there is something out there watching us. Unfortunately, it's the government.
WOODY ALLEN Remember, if you smoke after sex you're doing it too fast.
WOODY ALLEN If you have a lot of tension and you get a headache, do what it says on the aspirin bottle: "Take tw...
WOODY ALLEN Love is the answer, but while you are waiting for the answer sex raises some pretty good questions
WOODY ALLEN A woman's appetite is twice that of a man's; her sexual desire, four times; her intelligence, eight ...
WOODY ALLEN The study of economy usually shows us that the best time for purchase was last year.
WOODY ALLEN The best way to find your perfect match is to meet love halfway.
WOODY ALLEN There are two types of people in this world, good and bad. The good sleep better, but the bad seem t...
WOODY ALLEN Organized crime in America takes in over forty billion dollars a year and spends very little on offi...
WOODY ALLEN To you I'm an atheist; to God, I'm the Loyal Opposition.
WOODY ALLEN Men learn to love the woman they are attracted to. Women learn to become attracted to the man they f...
WOODY ALLEN Life is full of misery, loneliness, and suffering - and it's all over much too soon.
WOODY ALLEN Life doesn't imitate art, it imitates bad television.
WOODY ALLEN I am thankful for laughter, except when milk comes out of my nose.
WOODY ALLEN It seemed the world was divided into good and bad people. The good ones slept better while the bad o...
WOODY ALLEN Tradition is the illusion of permanance.
WOODY ALLEN Some guy hit my fender the other day, and I said unto him, 'Be fruitful, and multiply'. But not in t...
WOODY ALLEN Photons have mass? I didn’t even know they were Catholic.
WOODY ALLEN To you I'm an atheist; to God, I'm the Loyal Opposition.
WOODY ALLEN I'm astounded by people who want to 'know' the universe when it's hard enough to fin...
WOODY ALLEN I had a terrible education. I attended a school for emotionally disturbed teachers.
WOODY ALLEN He was so depressed, he tried to commit suicide by inhaling next to an Armenian.
WOODY ALLEN Sex without love is a meaningless experience, but as far as meaningless experiences go its pretty da...
WOODY ALLEN Basically my wife was immature. I'd be at home in the bath and she'd come in and sink my boa...
WOODY ALLEN As the poet said, 'Only God can make a tree,' probably because it's so hard to figure ou...
WOODY ALLEN In Beverly Hills... they don't throw their garbage away. They make it into television shows.
WOODY ALLEN The talent for being happy is appreciating and liking what you have, instead of what you don't h...
WOODY ALLEN I think being funny is not anyone's first choice.
WOODY ALLEN I'd call him a sadistic, hippophilic necrophile, but that would be beating a dead horse.
WOODY ALLEN I don't think my parents liked me. They put a live teddy bear in my crib.
WOODY ALLEN Who bothers to cook TV dinners? I suck them frozen.
WOODY ALLEN My films are therapy for my debilitating depression. In institutions people weave baskets. I make fi...
WOODY ALLEN I was thrown out of college for cheating on the metaphysics exam; I looked into the soul of the bo...
WOODY ALLEN It's not that I'm afraid to die, I just don't want to be there when it happens.
WOODY ALLEN The lion and the calf shall lie down together but the calf won't get much sleep.
WOODY ALLEN I was thrown out of NYU for cheating-with the deans wife
WOODY ALLEN If my film makes one more person miserable, I've done my job
WOODY ALLEN It's not that I'm afraid to die. I just don't want to be there when it happens.
WOODY ALLEN I took a speed-reading course and read War and Peace in twenty minutes. It involves Russia.
WOODY ALLEN Whosoever shall not fall by the sword or by famine, shall fall by pestilence, so why bother shaving?
WOODY ALLEN Whosover loveth wisdom is righteous, but he that keepeth company with fowl is weird.
WOODY ALLEN The wicked at heart probably know something.
WOODY ALLEN My Lord, my Lord! What hast Thou done, lately?
WOODY ALLEN Is sex dirty? Only if it's done right.
WOODY ALLEN If my film makes one more person miserable, I've done my job.
WOODY ALLEN Bisexuality immediately doubles your chances for a date on Saturday night.
WOODY ALLEN I was thrown out of college for cheating on the metaphysics exam; I looked into the soul of the boy ...
WOODY ALLEN I will not eat oysters. I want my food dead- not sick, not wounded - dead.
WOODY ALLEN For the first year of marriage I had basically a bad attitude. I tended to place my wife underneath ...
WOODY ALLEN We were married by a reformed rabbi in Long Island. A very reformed rabbi. A Nazi.
WOODY ALLEN The only difference between sex and death is, with death you can do it alone and nobody's going to m...
WOODY ALLEN Seventy percent of success in life is showing up.
WOODY ALLEN My one regret in life is that I am not someone else.
WOODY ALLEN It is impossible to travel faster than the speed of light, and certainly not desirable, as one's hat...
WOODY ALLEN It is impossible to experience one's death objectively and still carry a tune.
WOODY ALLEN Interestingly, according to modern astronomers, space is finite. This is a very comforting thought--...
WOODY ALLEN If only God would give me some clear sign! Like making a large deposit in my name in a Swiss bank.
WOODY ALLEN If it turns out that there is a God, I don't think that he's evil. But the worst that you can say ab...
WOODY ALLEN I'm astounded by people who want to 'know' the universe when it's hard enough to find your way aroun...
WOODY ALLEN I took a speed reading course and read 'War and Peace' in twenty minutes. It involves Russia.
WOODY ALLEN I tended to place my wife under a pedestal.
WOODY ALLEN I don't want to achieve immortality through my work... I want to achieve it through not dying.
WOODY ALLEN I can't listen to that much Wagner. I start getting the urge to conquer Poland.
WOODY ALLEN How is it possible to find meaning in a finite world, given my waist and shirt size?
WOODY ALLEN How can I believe in God when just last week I got my tongue caught in the roller of an electric typ...
WOODY ALLEN His lack of education is more than compensated for by his keenly developed moral bankruptcy.
WOODY ALLEN Eternal nothingness is fine if you happen to be dressed for it.
WOODY ALLEN As the poet said, 'Only God can make a tree' -- probably because it's so hard to figure out how to g...
WOODY ALLEN Death doesn't really worry me that much, I'm not frightened about it... I just don't want to be ther...
WOODY ALLEN More than any other time in history, mankind faces a crossroads. One path leads to despair and utter...
WOODY ALLEN You can live to be a hundred if you give up all the things that make you want to live to be a hundre...
WOODY ALLEN Why are our days numbered and not, say, lettered?
WOODY ALLEN When I was kidnapped, my parents snapped into action. They rented out my room.
WOODY ALLEN Thought: Why does man kill? He kills for food. And not only food: frequently there must be a beverag...
WOODY ALLEN The government is unresponsive to the needs of the little man. Under 5'7", it is impossible to get y...
WOODY ALLEN Students achieving Oneness will move on to Twoness.
WOODY ALLEN On the plus side, death is one of the few things that can be done just as easily lying down.
WOODY ALLEN Not only is there no God, but try getting a plumber on weekends.
WOODY ALLEN My education was dismal. I went to a series of schools for mentally disturbed teachers.
WOODY ALLEN Most of the time I don't have much fun. The rest of the time I don't have any fun at all.
WOODY ALLEN Life is full of misery, loneliness, and suffering - and it's all over much too soon.
WOODY ALLEN A ''Bay Area Bisexual'' told me I didn't quite coincide with either of her desires.
WOODY ALLEN Another good thing about being poor is that when you are seventy your children will not have declare...
WOODY ALLEN The last time I was inside a woman was when I was inside the Statue of Liberty.
WOODY ALLEN Some guy hit my fender, and I told him, 'Be fruitful and multiply,' but not in those words.
WOODY ALLEN I work for a company that makes deceptively shallow serving dishes for Chinese restaurants
WOODY ALLEN I ran into Isosceles. He had a great idea for a new triangle!
WOODY ALLEN Everytime I hear Wagner I feel like invading Poland.
WOODY ALLEN She wore a short skirt and a tight sweater and her figure described a set of parabolas that could ca...
WOODY ALLEN My brain? That´s my second favourite organ.
WOODY ALLEN I think any boycott is wrong, ... Boycotts were exactly what the Germans were doing against the Jews...
WOODY ALLEN Psychoanalyses is like music lessons, for 5 years you do not notice any progress and suddenly you ca...
WOODY ALLEN Having sex is like bridge. If you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand.
WOODY ALLEN As the poet said, "Only God can make a tree" - probably because it's so hard to figure out how to ge...
WOODY ALLEN Some guy hit my fender, and I told him, 'Be fruitful and multiply,' but not in those words.
WOODY ALLEN There's an old joke - um... two elderly women are at a Catskill mountain resort, and one of 'em says...
WOODY ALLEN I feel that life is divided into the horrible and the miserable. That's the two categories. The horr...
WOODY ALLEN If Jesus came back and saw what was being done in his name, he'd never stop throwing up.
WOODY ALLEN I like the rain. It washes memories off the sidewalk of life.
WOODY ALLEN It seemed the world was divided into good and bad people. The good ones
slept better, [Cloquet...
WOODY ALLEN Subjectivity is objective.
WOODY ALLEN The most expensive sex is free sex
WOODY ALLEN These modern analysts! They charge so much. In my day, for five marks Freud himself would treat you....
WOODY ALLEN It is impossible to travel faster than light, and certainly not desirable, as one’s hat keeps blow...
WOODY ALLEN We laughed over it, and Hemingway punched me in the mouth.
WOODY ALLEN I think crime pays. The hours are good, you travel a lot
WOODY ALLEN Arlene and I have to get a divorce. She thinks I'm a pervert because I drank our water bed.
WOODY ALLEN You will notice that what we are aiming at when we fall in love is a very strange paradox. The parad...
WOODY ALLEN This guy goes to a psychiatrist and says, Doc, my brother’s crazy. He thinks he’s a chicken. The...
WOODY ALLEN The heart wants what it wants.
WOODY ALLEN We're all faced throughout our lives with agonizing decisions, moral choices. Some are on a grand sc...
WOODY ALLEN Chapter 1.
He adored New York City. He idolized it all out of proportion...no, make t...
WOODY ALLEN My brain? That's my second favorite organ.
WOODY ALLEN