One yearns unspeakably for a composer who gives out his pair of honest themes, and then develops them unashamed, and then hangs a brisk coda to them, and then shuts up

A metaphysician is one who, when you remark that twice two makes four, demands to know what you mean by twice, what you mean by two, what by makes, and what by four

The capacity of human beings to bore one another seems to be vastly greater than that of any other animal.

War will never cease until babies begin to come into the world with larger cerebrums and smaller adrenal glands

Wealth - any income that is at least one hundred dollars more a year than the income of one's wife's sister's husband.

The American people, taken one with another, constitute the most timorous, sniveling, poltroonish, ignominious mob of serfs and goose-steppers ever gathered under one flag in Christendom since the end of the middle ages