PICTURE, n. A representation in two dimensions of something wearisome in three."Behold great Daubert's picture here on view -- Taken from Life." If that description's true, Grant, heavenly Powers, that I be taken, too. --Jali Hane
Ambrose Bierce
Related PICTURE, n. A representation in two dimensions of something wearisome in three. AMBROSE BIERCE I don't let my picture be taken. I'm on too many hit lists. JACK CHICK I hate having my picture taken. ZARA PHILLIPS What most of us are after, when we have a picture taken, is a good natural-looking picture that does... PEG BRACKEN A friend of mine once sent me a post card with a picture of the entire planet Earth taken from space... STEVEN WRIGHT A friend of mine once sent me a post card with a picture of the entire planet Earth taken from space... STEPHEN WRIGHT Hey, over here! Have your picture taken with a reclusive author! Today only, we'll throw in a free a... THOMAS PYNCHON I had him autograph a picture of us taken then. It was pretty funny. DILLON DOUGHERTY Too often in other states there hasn't been rigorous authorizing, and that has resulted in problems.... DAVID HARRIS If you only experience life from one point of view, you never get the whole picture. CELESTINE L. GRAY When I am having my picture taken, I channel Beyonce. In the studio, my inspiration is Adele. ELLA HENDERSON I never have taken a picture I've intended. They're always better or worse. DIANE ARBUS I was very upset, and for two months if I saw his (Dimebag's) picture somewhere I would get angry. I... CHAD KROEGER The picture is all he feels about it, all he thinks worth preserving of it, all he invests it with. ... LUCIAN FREUD When cheese gets it's picture taken, what does it say? GEORGE CARLIN Hey, over here! Have your picture taken with a reclusive author! Today only, we'll throw in a fr... THOMAS PYNCHON Some time ago, I investigated the possibility that a computer might be able to reconstruct a picture... GODFREY HOUNSFIELD The two men had a conversation. Brief, cryptic, to the point. As though they had exchanged numbers a... ARUNDHATI ROY There are four kinds of homicide: felonious, excusable, justifiable, and praiseworthy.” ~ Ambrose ... J.J. MCAVOY In Paris, when the picture came out [Casablanca] they weren't too pleased with it. They didn't like ... INGRID BERGMAN When I read something, I picture that scene in that detail. That becomes very similar to composing a... SALLY MANN Therefore, I feel convinced that any political picture can be changed to suit the needs of the power... THOR HEYERDAHL The entire content of the 'Queries' is usually taken to express Newton's personal point of view, but... BILL NEWMAN The entire content of the 'Queries' is usually taken to express Newton's personal point of view, but... BILL NEWMAN I never have taken a picture I've intended. They're always better or worse. DIANE ARBUS We live in such a gullible world. Anything that's written, anything that's posted, anything ... KERI HILSON They have taken him completely out of the picture, because the Jackson 5, the pictures that you see,... GORDON KEITH When friends couldn't be found, the books were always waiting with something new to tell. Life that ... DIANE DUANE Within a 95 percent degree of medical certainty, this picture was taken when he was dead. WILLIAM ANDERSON Peyton Manning was like my childhood hero. To get my picture taken with him, that really surprised m... LEE HUMPHREY No formal course in fiction-writing can equal a close and observant perusal of the stories of Edgar ... H. P. LOVECRAFT I was very upset, and for two months, if I saw his picture somewhere I would get angry, ... I hadn't... CHAD KROEGER I was very upset, and for two months, if I saw his picture somewhere I would get angry, ... I hadn't... CHAD KROEGER I was very upset, and for two months, if I saw his picture somewhere I would get angry, ... I hadn't... CHAD KROEGER I was very upset, and for two months, if I saw his picture somewhere I would get angry. I hadn't los... CHAD KROEGER I was very upset, and for two months, if I saw his picture somewhere I would get angry, ... I hadn't... CHAD KROEGER I'm not an exhibitionist in any way, shape or form. I don't even like having my picture take... MEGYN PRICE When you do a studio picture, all the paperwork and legal stuff is already taken care of! DAVID TWOHY I suddenly understood that if every moment of a book should be taken seriously, then every moment of... SHERMAN ALEXIE I was very upset, and for two months, if I saw his picture somewhere I would get angry, ... I hadn't... CHAD KROEGER Each time you take a good picture, you have the wonderful feeling of exhilaration... and almost inst... SALLY MANN Mr. Campbell paints a very rosy picture. It sounds too good to be true because it is too good to be ... LARRY WALL I knew I had more in me than just standing up and having my picture taken... Being in the studio, I ... KAREN ELSON Something my mom and I have always said to each other is: 'We're not here for interviews. We... BAILEE MADISON Since 9/11, (security) has taken on new dimensions that they didn't have before. There are many diff... BOB WATTERS Had we taken the picture a couple of years before that it would have been all male, so women are com... MIKE COOK There are certain times I don't want my picture taken. If my wife's stepping out of a car an... BOBBY DARIN Every time I have my picture taken I get hungry because I hear 'cheese' so I
start to think of a nic... ANONYMOUS Put a picture of yourself as a child in view somewhere, to remind yourself to be playful. ALEXANDRA STODDARD When I first saw the picture of Emmett Till, I was 10. I couldn't believe that something so bad coul... KEITH BEAUCHAMP To say of a picture, as is often said in its praise, that it shows great and earnest labour, is to s... JAMES WHISTLER If someone writes in and wants a picture of their grandchild taken with the governor, it happens. Al... RICH JOHNSTON When you think something, you think in picture. You don't think a thought in words. You think a pict... GRACE SPEARE It can actually seat a huge table, probably at least eight people. Great view here lot of light her... ADELE PICK It can actually seat a huge table, probably at least eight people. Great view here
lot of light h... ADELE PICK If I had not try and taken chances, I would have miss many great opportunities in life. LAILAH GIFTYAKITA The kind of picture that has a big value are of celebrities getting married. We don't knowingly purc... BONNIE FULLER There's a wow factor here. I usually know within a second or two of seeing a picture whether its a s... ROBERT NEMIROFF If they have a picture of themselves in their soccer uniform and a picture of their high school in t... CLINT VAN ZANDT When friends couldn't be found, the books were always waiting with something new to tell. Life that ... DIANE DUANE If life must not be taken too seriously, then so neither must death. SAMUEL BUTLER Every picture has its own demands, and every picture stimulates something within you to tell it a ce... CLINT EASTWOOD I have to console myself with the hope that I'd seen Isabeau soften, even hesitate, as if she might ... ALYXANDRA HARVEY I like having my picture taken and being a glamorous person. Sometimes when I find myself getting im... RITA HAYWORTH It's like playing Battleship with the prostate. Every hole that we have has a coordinate, and we can... DR. GARY ONIK There's been no major motion picture released by a studio, no independent motion picture, in the... AVA DUVERNAY I ordinarily wouldn't have taken a chance on something like that, ANN POWELL When he canceled his cell phone he learned that the suspect had used the picture phone and had taken... JAMES CONN I made my last motion picture in March 1965 for Magna Pictures. 'Harlow,' based on the life ... GINGER ROGERS Picture yourself vividly as winning and that alone will contribute immeasurably to success. Great li... HARRY EMERSON FOSDICK Obviously, this has taken on a whole new meaning for me. The approach I've taken this year, and from... GREG MCDERMOTT Acting is the physical representation of a mental picture and the projection of an emotional concept... LAURETTE TAYLOR I think there were some things that needed to be taken from public view after September 11. But we h... ANDY ALEXANDER When I was a little child, my parents taught me by example to pray. I began with a picture in my min... HENRY B. EYRING This guy is a total fucking prick. I know I've said that before. Still. I would have taken great ple... JENNIFER REINFRIED I's taken me a great deal to get here. I don't plan on missing anything. BOBBY BONILLA Real anatomy exists in three dimensions, so any time you can view anatomical data in 3D, you'll have... PAUL BROWN Hold a picture of yourself long and steadily enough in your mind's eye and you will be drawn toward ... HARRY EMERSON FOSDICK If it's just brushstrokes wrestling around, it isn't much of a picture book, is it? There st... CHRIS RASCHKA Right now, the overall condition is quite critical. Lot of things are being taken care of by the doc... ANUPAM VERMA Right now, the overall condition is quite critical. Lot of things are being taken care of by the doc... DR ANUPAM VERMA I don't know if this sport is ready for Marcos Ambrose. He's something else. He's the biggest racing... EDDIE WOOD For ninety per cent of those who view him from outside, the Christian God looks like a great landown... PIERRE TEILHARD DE CHARDIN Life is too important to be taken seriously. OSCAR WILDE Life is too short to be taken seriously. If there's anything i can feel, that's to the fact that i will grow even when i fall. Life is too si... TEMI 'T QUEST' SHOLEYE “Thinking different” is seeing convoluted picture with clarity, simplicity, honesty, ingenuity i... ANUJ SOMANY We owe him a great debt for the foundation of our party and for putting himself on the line for two ... JESSE VENTURA I'm very self-conscious having my picture taken, so I clown around. My driver's license phot... EMILY PROCTER I realized that day that blessings come in a variety of shapes, colors, and sizes. CRAIG GROESCHEL The great successful men of the world have used their imaginations... they think ahead and create th... ROBERT COLLIER The great successful men of the world have used their imaginations, they think
ahead and create thei... ROBERT COLLIER The great successful men of the world have used their imaginations... they think ahead and create th... ROBERT COLLIER We had a group picture taken with him and he also did some autographs and George signed an 'Ocean's ... DORIS PINTER We live everything as it comes, without warning, like an actor going on cold. And what can life be w... MILAN KUNDERA The great successful men of the world have used their imaginations, they think ahead and create thei... ROBERT COLLIER If a couple has their picture taken at a wedding or other social gathering, and the woman looks hot,... BRIAN P. CLEARY I can't work without a model. I won't say I turn my back on nature ruthlessly in order to turn a stu... VINCENT VAN GOGH What I find sometimes that is tricky is if actors are using too much of their own life in a picture,... TOM CRUISE There's a lot of debt being taken on which wouldn't be taken on in less-good times. AL BREACH
More Ambrose Bierce
Destiny: A tyrant's authority for crime and a fool's excuse for failure. AMBROSE BIERCE Belladonna, n.: In Italian a beautiful lady; in English a deadly poison. A striking example of the e... AMBROSE BIERCE Divorce: a resumption of diplomatic relations and rectification of boundaries. AMBROSE BIERCE Death is not the end. There remains the litigation over the estate. AMBROSE BIERCE Immortality: A toy which people cry for, And on their knees apply for, Dispute, contend and lie for,... AMBROSE BIERCE Litigation: A machine which you go into as a pig and come out of as a sausage. AMBROSE BIERCE Suffrage, noun. Expression of opinion by means of a ballot. The right of suffrage (which is held to ... AMBROSE BIERCE Laziness. Unwarranted repose of manner in a person of low degree. AMBROSE BIERCE Sweater, n.: garment worn by child when its mother is feeling chilly. AMBROSE BIERCE Doubt is the father of invention. AMBROSE BIERCE Life - a spiritual pickle preserving the body from decay. AMBROSE BIERCE Men become civilized, not in proportion to their willingness to believe, but in proportion to their ... AMBROSE BIERCE Cabbage: a familiar kitchen-garden vegetable about as large and wise as a man's head. AMBROSE BIERCE Photograph: a picture painted by the sun without instruction in art. AMBROSE BIERCE Cynic, n: a blackguard whose faulty vision sees things as they are, not as they ought to be. AMBROSE BIERCE Deliberation, n.: The act of examining one's bread to determine which side it is buttered on. AMBROSE BIERCE Clairvoyant, n.: A person, commonly a woman, who has the power of seeing that which is invisible to ... AMBROSE BIERCE Liberty:one of imaginations most precious possessions. AMBROSE BIERCE Quoting: the act of repeating erroneously the words of another. AMBROSE BIERCE Day, n. A period of twenty-four hours, mostly misspent. AMBROSE BIERCE Success is the one unpardonable sin against our fellows. AMBROSE BIERCE Optimist: a proponent of the doctrine that black is white. AMBROSE BIERCE Litigant: a person about to give up his skin for the hope of retaining his bone. AMBROSE BIERCE Ocean: A body of water occupying about two-thirds of a world made for man - who has no gills. AMBROSE BIERCE Beauty, n: the power by which a woman charms a lover and terrifies a husband. AMBROSE BIERCE OCEAN, n. A body of water occupying about two-thirds of a world made for man -- who has no gills. AMBROSE BIERCE ZEAL, n. A certain nervous disorder afflicting the young and inexperienced. A passion that goeth b... AMBROSE BIERCE For every man there is something in the vocabulary that would stick to him like a second skin. His e... AMBROSE BIERCE Education, n.: That which discloses the wise and disguises from the foolish their lack of understand... AMBROSE BIERCE Love, n. A temporary insanity curable by marriage. AMBROSE BIERCE Quotation, n: The act of repeating erroneously the words of another. AMBROSE BIERCE Speak when you are angry and you will make the best speech you will ever regret. AMBROSE BIERCE You don't have to be stupid to be a Christian, ... but it probably helps. AMBROSE BIERCE Ocean , n. A body of water occupying about two-thirds of a world made for man — who has no g... AMBROSE BIERCE Fidelity. A virtue peculiar to those who are about to be betrayed. AMBROSE BIERCE Incompatibility. In matrimony a similarity of tastes, particularly the taste for domination. AMBROSE BIERCE The world has suffered more from the ravages of ill-advised marriages than from virginity. AMBROSE BIERCE Marriage. The state or condition of a community consisting of a master, a mistress and two slaves, m... AMBROSE BIERCE Bride. A woman with a fine prospect of happiness behind her. AMBROSE BIERCE What is a democrat? One who believes that the republicans have ruined the country. What is a republi... AMBROSE BIERCE Nominee. A modest gentleman shrinking from the distinction of private life and diligently seeking th... AMBROSE BIERCE Learning. The kind of ignorance distinguishing the studious. AMBROSE BIERCE Consult. To seek another's approval of a course already decided on. AMBROSE BIERCE Happiness is an agreeable sensation, arising from contemplating the misery of others. AMBROSE BIERCE Life. A spiritual pickle preserving the body from decay. AMBROSE BIERCE Acquaintance: a degree of friendship called slight when its object is poor or obscure, and intimate ... AMBROSE BIERCE An acquaintance is someone we know well enough to borrow from, but not well enough to lend to. AMBROSE BIERCE A temporary insanity curable by marriage. AMBROSE BIERCE Beauty. The power by which a woman charms a lover and terrifies a husband. AMBROSE BIERCE Let me tell you what a writer is. A writer takes comprehensive views, holds large convictions, makes... AMBROSE BIERCE Corporation. An ingenious device for obtaining individual profit without individual responsibility. AMBROSE BIERCE Don't steal; thou it never thus compete successfully in business. Cheat. AMBROSE BIERCE Philanthropist. A rich (and usually bald) old gentleman who has trained himself to grin while his co... AMBROSE BIERCE Age. That period of life in which we compound for the vices that remain by reviling those we have no... AMBROSE BIERCE Success is the one unpardonable sin against one's fellows. AMBROSE BIERCE Education is that which discloses to the wise and disguises from the foolish their lack of understan... AMBROSE BIERCE Destiny. A tyrant's authority for crime and a fool's excuse for failure. AMBROSE BIERCE Edible. Good to eat and wholesome to digest, as a worm to a toad, a toad to a snake, a snake to a pi... AMBROSE BIERCE Knowledge is the small part of ignorance that we arrange and classify. AMBROSE BIERCE Erudition. Dust shaken out of a book into an empty skull. AMBROSE BIERCE Saint. A dead sinner revised and edited. AMBROSE BIERCE Insurrection. An unsuccessful revolution; disaffection's failure to substitute misrule for bad gover... AMBROSE BIERCE Revolution is an abrupt change in the form of misgovernment. AMBROSE BIERCE Impiety. Your irreverence toward my deity. AMBROSE BIERCE Deliberation. The act of examining one's bread to determine which side it is buttered on. AMBROSE BIERCE Take not God's name in vain; select a time when it will have effect. AMBROSE BIERCE A prejudice is a vagrant opinion without visible means of support. AMBROSE BIERCE Bigot, one who is obstinately and zealously attached to an opinion that you do not entertain. AMBROSE BIERCE Pray: To ask the laws of the universe to be annulled on behalf of a single petitioner confessedly un... AMBROSE BIERCE Eulogy. Praise of a person who has either the advantages of wealth and power, or the consideration t... AMBROSE BIERCE Admiration; is our polite recognition of another's resemblance to ourselves. AMBROSE BIERCE To bother about the best method of accomplishing an accidental result. AMBROSE BIERCE A route of many roads leading from nowhere to nothing. AMBROSE BIERCE All are lunatics, but he who can analyze his delusion is called a philosopher. AMBROSE BIERCE A lowly virtue whereby mediocrity achieves a glorious success. AMBROSE BIERCE Peace, in international affairs, is a period of cheating between two periods of fighting. AMBROSE BIERCE Patience, n. A minor form of dispair, disguised as a virtue. AMBROSE BIERCE Optimism. The doctrine or belief that everything is beautiful, including what is ugly. AMBROSE BIERCE An optimist is a proponent of the doctrine that black is white. AMBROSE BIERCE They say that hens do cackle loudest when there is nothing vital in the eggs they have laid. AMBROSE BIERCE Calamities are of two kinds: misfortune to ourselves, and good fortune to others. AMBROSE BIERCE Heaven lies about us in our infancy and the world begins lying about us pretty soon afterward. AMBROSE BIERCE As records of courts and justice are admissible, it can easily be proved that powerful and malevolen... AMBROSE BIERCE Before undergoing a surgical operation, arrange your temporal affairs. You may live. AMBROSE BIERCE Politeness -- The most acceptable hypocrisy. AMBROSE BIERCE A man is known by the company he organizes. AMBROSE BIERCE Logic, n. The art of thinking and reasoning in strict accordance with the limitations and incapaciti... AMBROSE BIERCE Enthusiasm. A distemper of youth, curable by small doses of repentance in connection with outward ap... AMBROSE BIERCE Egotist. A person of low taste, more interested in himself than me. AMBROSE BIERCE An egotist is a person interested in himself than in me! AMBROSE BIERCE Duty. That which sternly impels us in the direction of profit, along the line of desire. AMBROSE BIERCE Opiate. An unlocked door in the prison of Identity. It leads into the jail yard. AMBROSE BIERCE Insurance: An ingenious modern game of chance in which the player is permitted to enjoy the comforta... AMBROSE BIERCE Backbite. To speak of a man as you find him when he can't find you. AMBROSE BIERCE Alien. An American sovereign in his probationary state. AMBROSE BIERCE Miss: A title with which we brand unmarried women to indicate that they are in the market. Miss, Mis... AMBROSE BIERCE Witticism. A sharp and clever remark, usually quoted and seldom noted; what the Philistine is please... AMBROSE BIERCE Wit. The salt with which the American humorist spoils his intellectual cookery by leaving it out. AMBROSE BIERCE A body of water occupying about two-thirds of a world made for man, who has no gills. AMBROSE BIERCE Impartial. Unable to perceive any promise of personal advantage from espousing either side of a cont... AMBROSE BIERCE Dog. A kind of additional or subsidiary Deity designed to catch the overflow and surplus of the worl... AMBROSE BIERCE Physician -- One upon whom we set our hopes when ill and our dogs when well. AMBROSE BIERCE Divorce. A resumption of diplomatic relations and rectification of boundaries. AMBROSE BIERCE Consul. In American politics, a person who having failed to secure an office from the people is give... AMBROSE BIERCE Forgetfulness. A gift of God bestowed upon debtors in compensation for their destitution of conscien... AMBROSE BIERCE A cynic is a blackguard whose faulty vision sees things as they are, and not as they ought to be. AMBROSE BIERCE Confidante. One entrusted by A with the secrets of B confided to herself by C. AMBROSE BIERCE The gambling known as business looks with austere disfavor upon the business known as gambling. AMBROSE BIERCE Future. That period of time in which our affairs prosper, our friends are true and our happiness is ... AMBROSE BIERCE A funeral is a pageant whereby we attest our respect for the dead by enriching the undertaker. AMBROSE BIERCE An accident is an inevitable occurrence due to the actions of immutable natural laws. AMBROSE BIERCE To apologize is to lay the foundation for a future offense. AMBROSE BIERCE An account, mostly false, of events, mostly unimportant, which are brought about by rulers, mostly k... AMBROSE BIERCE Historian. A broad -- gauge gossip. AMBROSE BIERCE Habit is a shackle for the free. AMBROSE BIERCE Laughter -- An interior convulsion, producing a distortion of the features and accompanied by inarti... AMBROSE BIERCE Litigant. A person about to give up his skin for the hope of retaining his bones. AMBROSE BIERCE Appeal. In law, to put the dice into the box for another throw. AMBROSE BIERCE Trial. A formal inquiry designed to prove and put upon record the blameless characters of judges, ad... AMBROSE BIERCE Experience is a revelation in the light of which we renounce our errors of youth for those of age. AMBROSE BIERCE Experience. The wisdom that enables us to recognize in an undesirable old acquaintance the folly tha... AMBROSE BIERCE The act of repeating erroneously the words of another. AMBROSE BIERCE PROPHECY, n. The art and practice of selling one's credibility for future delivery. AMBROSE BIERCE When in Rome, do as Rome does. AMBROSE BIERCE To be positive: to be mistaken at the top of one's voice. AMBROSE BIERCE Censor, n. An officer of certain governments, employed to supress the works of genius. Among the Rom... AMBROSE BIERCE Bore -- a person who talks when you wish him to listen. AMBROSE BIERCE Ambition. An overmastering desire to be vilified by enemies while living and made ridiculous by frie... AMBROSE BIERCE Irreligion. The principal one of the great faiths of the world. AMBROSE BIERCE Faith: Belief without evidence in what is told by one who speaks without knowledge, of things withou... AMBROSE BIERCE Architect. One who drafts a plan of your house, and plans a draft of your money. AMBROSE BIERCE Genealogy. An account of one's descent from an ancestor who did not particularly care to trace his o... AMBROSE BIERCE Absurdity. A statement or belief manifestly inconsistent with one's own opinion. AMBROSE BIERCE Abstainer. A weak man who yields to the temptation of denying himself a pleasure. AMBROSE BIERCE Woman absent is woman dead. AMBROSE BIERCE The covers of this book are too far apart. AMBROSE BIERCE Abscond. To move in a mysterious way, commonly with the property of another. AMBROSE BIERCE Creditor. One of a tribe of savages dwelling beyond the Financial Straits and dreaded for their deso... AMBROSE BIERCE A coward is one who in a perilous emergency thinks with his legs. AMBROSE BIERCE Conservative. A statesman who is enamored of existing evils, as distinguished from a Liberal, who wi... AMBROSE BIERCE The Senate is a body of old men charged with high duties and misdemeanors. AMBROSE BIERCE Compromise. Such an adjustment of conflicting interests as gives each adversary the satisfaction of ... AMBROSE BIERCE Alliance. In international politics, the union of two thieves who have their hands so deeply inserte... AMBROSE BIERCE ALLIANCE, n. In international politics, the union of two thieves who have their hands so deeply in... AMBROSE BIERCE Acquaintance is a degree of friendship called slight when its object is poor and obscure, and intima... AMBROSE BIERCE ARSENIC, n. A kind of cosmetic greatly affected by the ladies, whom it greatly affects in turn."Eat ... AMBROSE BIERCE Compromise. Such an adjustment of conflicting interests as gives each adversary the satisfaction o... AMBROSE BIERCE Convent. A place of retirement for women who wish for leisure to meditate upon the sin of idleness. AMBROSE BIERCE Religion. A daughter of Hope and Fear, explaining to Ignorance the nature of the Unknowable. AMBROSE BIERCE International arbitration may be defined as the substitution of many burning questions for a smoulde... AMBROSE BIERCE DIPLOMACY, n. Lying in state, or the patriotic art of lying for one's country. AMBROSE BIERCE Calamities are of two kinds. Misfortune to ourselves, and good fortune to others. AMBROSE BIERCE Calamities are of two kinds: misfortune to ourselves, and good fortune to others. AMBROSE BIERCE A bride is a woman with a fine prospect of happiness behind her. AMBROSE BIERCE Painting, n.: The art of protecting flat surfaces from the weather, and exposing them to the critic. AMBROSE BIERCE There are 4 kinds of Homicide: felonious, excusable, justifiable, and praiseworthy. AMBROSE BIERCE FIDELITY, n. A virtue peculiar to those who are about to be betrayed. AMBROSE BIERCE ZOOLOGY, n. The science and history of the animal kingdom, including its king, the House Fly ("Mus... AMBROSE BIERCE HIPPOGRIFF, n. An animal (now extinct) which was half horse and half griffin. The griffin was a com... AMBROSE BIERCE ZENITH, n. The point in the heavens directly overhead to a man standing or a growing cabbage. A m... AMBROSE BIERCE YANKEE, n. In Europe, an American. In the Northern States of our Union, a New Englander. In the So... AMBROSE BIERCE Hypocrisy: prejudice with a halo AMBROSE BIERCE Forgetfulness. A gift of God bestowed upon debtors in compensation for their destitution of conscie... AMBROSE BIERCE One who is in a perilous emergency thinks with his legs. AMBROSE BIERCE OBSESSED, p.p. Vexed by an evil spirit, like the Gadarene swine and other critics. Obsession was onc... AMBROSE BIERCE Optimism. The doctrine or belief that everything is beautiful, including what is ugly. AMBROSE BIERCE Women and foxes, being weak, are distinguished by superior tact. AMBROSE BIERCE Saint: A dead sinner revised and edited. AMBROSE BIERCE QUEEN, n. A woman by whom the realm is ruled when there is a king, and through whom it is ruled wh... AMBROSE BIERCE When you are ill make haste to forgive your enemies, for you may recover. AMBROSE BIERCE Electricity seems destined to play a most important part in the arts and industries. The question of... AMBROSE BIERCE Electricity is the power that causes all natural phenomena not known to be caused by something else. AMBROSE BIERCE ECCENTRICITY, n. A method of distinction so cheap that fools employ it to accentuate their incapaci... AMBROSE BIERCE LAND, n. A part of the earth's surface, considered as property. The theory that land is property s... AMBROSE BIERCE The gambling known as business looks with austere disfavor upon the business known as gambling. AMBROSE BIERCE Birth: The first and direst of all disasters. AMBROSE BIERCE Dawn: When men of reason go to bed. AMBROSE BIERCE Politics: A strife of interests masquerading as a contest of principles. The conduct of public affai... AMBROSE BIERCE Amnesty, n. The state's magnanimity to those offenders whom it would be too expensive to punish. AMBROSE BIERCE Patriotism. Combustible rubbish ready to the torch of any one ambitious to illuminate his name. AMBROSE BIERCE Admiral. That part of a warship which does the talking while the figurehead does the thinking. AMBROSE BIERCE Famous, adj.: Conspicuously miserable. AMBROSE BIERCE Positive, adj.: Mistaken at the top of one's voice. AMBROSE BIERCE Mad, adj. Affected with a high degree of intellectual independence. AMBROSE BIERCE Edible, adj.: Good to eat, and wholesome to digest, as a worm to a toad, a toad to a snake, a snake ... AMBROSE BIERCE Jealous, adj. Unduly concerned about the preservation of that which can be lost only if not worth ke... AMBROSE BIERCE Dog - a kind of additional or subsidiary Deity designed to catch the overflow and surplus of the wor... AMBROSE BIERCE Acquaintance. A person whom we know well enough to borrow from, but not well enough to lend to. AMBROSE BIERCE Perseverance - a lowly virtue whereby mediocrity achieves an inglorious success. AMBROSE BIERCE Logic: The art of thinking and reasoning in strict accordance with the limitations and incapacities ... AMBROSE BIERCE Prescription: A physician's guess at what will best prolong the situation with least harm to the... AMBROSE BIERCE Lawsuit: A machine which you go into as a pig and come out of as a sausage. AMBROSE BIERCE Compromise, n. Such an adjustment of conflicting interests as gives each adversary the satisfaction ... AMBROSE BIERCE The best thing to do with the best things in life is to give them up. AMBROSE BIERCE TELEPHONE n. An invention of the devil which abrogates some of the advantages of making a disagreeab... AMBROSE BIERCE Egotist , n. A person of low taste, more interested in himself than in me. AMBROSE BIERCE Positive , adj.: Mistaken at the top of one's voice. AMBROSE BIERCE Beauty, n: the power by which a woman charms a lover and terrifies a husband. AMBROSE BIERCE Sweater , n. Garment worn by child when its mother is feeling chilly. AMBROSE BIERCE Sabbath - a weekly festival having its origin in the fact that God made the world in six days and wa... AMBROSE BIERCE