Part of my plan has been to try to pleasantly remind adults of what they once were themselves, and of how they felt and thought and talked, and what queer enterprises they sometimes engaged in
Mark Twain
Related I like to open for a band as it brings on sort of a challenge and it makes things more interesting. ... KELLY JONES Reasons... questions... what they have in common? - All get finded in the hard way. DEYTH BANGER Why should we save them? It's part of the historical legacy of California. They were made famous by ... MARC HAYES Every choice in life sets us on a different path and carries its own set of “what ifs” and conse... A.J. DARKHOLME Dignified in what she does, when she sings the smile that she brings to all of you unaware of what's... TEGAN QUIN You are a slow learner, Winston." "How can I help it? How can I help but see what is in front o... GEORGE ORWELL Nobody has been able to stop Brian, so what they (opponents) decided to do was try and take Ryan out... ED RODRIGUES You take someone who took a program that's similar to what you're inheriting and see what they did, ... BARRY ALVAREZ My family was in two businesses - they were in the textile business, and they were in the candy busi... KAREN MILLS Many women have told me they remember where they were when they read the book, and how they felt sud... CAROL GILLIGAN Daisy stared worriedly into his shadowed face. “What if you change your mind about me? What if you... LISA KLEYPAS They talked about where they were and what they should be prepared to consider. PJ CROWLEY We try to help by learning first what their interests are. We then discuss what kind of budget and h... JACKIE TUCKER Considering how foolishly people act and how pleasantly they prattle, perhaps it would be better for... W. SOMERSET MAUGHAM People want the here and now, rather than the there and after; as most are living in the where and w... ANTHONY LICCIONE All real programs contain errors until proved otherwise which is
impossible. PAUL DICKSON Algren's Precepts: Never eat at a place called Mom's. Never
play cards with a man named Doc. And... PAUL DICKSON Albrecht's Law: Social innovations tend to the level of minimum
tolerable well being. PAUL DICKSON Ade's Law: Anybody can win--unless there happens to be a second
entry. PAUL DICKSON Acting, First Rule of: Whatever happens, look as if you intended
it to happen. PAUL DICKSON Acheson's Rule of Bureaucracy: A memorandum is written not to
inform the reader but to protect the ... PAUL DICKSON Accuracy, Rule of, Corollary: Provided, of course, that you know
there is a problem. PAUL DICKSON A clean tie attracts the soup of the day. PAUL DICKSON Experience is that marvelous thing that enables you recognize a
mistake when you make it again. PAUL DICKSON About the time we think we can make ends meet, somebody moves the
ends. PAUL DICKSON Acton's Law: Power tends to corrupt; absolute power corrupts
absolutely. PAUL DICKSON Accuracy, Rule of: When working toward the solution of a
problem, it always helps if you know the ... PAUL DICKSON Rowe's Rule: the odds are five to six that the light at the end
of the tunnel is the headlight of ... PAUL DICKSON Lieutenant Dunbar wasn't really swallowed. But that was the
first word that stuck in his head. MICHAEL BLAKE A system tends to grow in complexity instead of simplicity, until
the resulting unreliability becom... PAUL DICKSON Allen's Law of Civilization: It is better for civilization to be
going down the drain than to be c... PAUL DICKSON Airplane Law, The: When the plane you are on is late, the plane
you want to transfer to is on time... PAUL DICKSON Advice, First Law of: The correct advice to give is the advice
that is desired. PAUL DICKSON Abrams's Advice: When eating an elephant, take one bite at a
time. PAUL DICKSON A conclusion is the place where you got tired of thinking. PAUL DICKSON Allen's Law: Almost anything is easier to get into than out of. PAUL DICKSON Agnes Allen's Law: Almost anything is easier to get into than
out of. PAUL DICKSON Abbott's Admonitions: (1) If you have to ask, you're not
entitled to know. (2) If you don't like ... PAUL DICKSON A real person has two reasons for doing anything . . . a good
reason and the real reason. PAUL DICKSON A free agent is anything but. PAUL DICKSON The problem is not with people or churches that are politically active. It is with a party that has ... JOHN C. DANFORTH The phrase ‘separation of church and state,’ which appears in no founding document (only in a le... DENNIS PRAGER Besides the danger of a direct mixture of religion and civil government, there is an evil which ough... JAMES MADISON Lieutenant Chatrand: I don’t understand this omnipotent-benevolent thing. Camerlengo Carlo Ve... DAN BROWN They know what they want, but aren't sure how to find it. JAMES C. DOBSON We ate the peels and all. Everybody talked about what kind of food they liked ... and how they liked... JOE HRUPCHO Man is a breathing DUST, while woman is a breathing BONE SOTONYE ANGA Once I said to my father, 'Why do you want me?' I still think that's the bravest thing I'... CHINA MIéVILLE But what if I should discover that the least among them all, the poorest of all beggars, the most im... C.G. JUNG Coraline wondered why so few of the adults she had met made any sense. She sometimes wondered who th... NEIL GAIMAN If i thought this would never happen again I would die. But this is wrong, nobody dies from lac... MARGARET ATWOOD Mind your strength! Let people know that you are strong and let them see how strong you are, and who... ERNEST AGYEMANG YEBOAH I talked to a few of them. They didn't want to get involved and try to sway my decision. What they'v... LARRY ROTHSCHILD What people think of you is only what they think of themselves. They look at you and see the maladie... SHAKIEB ORGUNWALL You're still lovely," Mor said a bit gently. Elain offered a half smile. "I suppose that war m... SARAH J. MAAS I was able to sit at Lincoln's side and see how he thought and how he acted, and how he felt abo... DAVID HERBERT DONALD They were frisky, eager and exuberant, and they had all been friends in the States. They were plainl... JOSEPH HELLER There has been much tragedy in my life; at least half of it actually happend. -Mark Twain. MARK TWAIN Every once in a while, people step up. They rise above themselves. Sometimes they surprise you. And ... ONE TREE HILL Pastor Smith did not have the religious constitution needed to provide salvation for any of us who�... CHERYL R COWTAN It's queer how out of touch with the truth women are. They live in a world of their own, and there h... JOSEPH CONRAD So, in the interests of survival, they trained themselves to be agreeing machines instead of thinkin... KURT VONNEGUT And how many a prophet has fought with whom were many worshippers of the Lord; so they did not becom... QURAN Franny understood then that grace was not like a present. It could not be given, and it could not be... AMANDA WARD EYRE They actually felt they had been robbed in our 1-0 win so we had to come out here and squash any tho... CHARMAINE HOOPER When children feel they have to earn our love by what they accomplish, they never feel good about th... , JOINT CUSTODY WITH A JERK: RAISING A CHILD WITH AN UNCOOPERATIVE EX, 2011 In the housing projects, people talked of ways to reduce crime, relieve overcrowding, and they were ... JANE BYRNE China has the effect of drawing in international enterprises from which they can hardly extract them... WOLFGANG CLEMENT The issue isn't whether he loved you, it's how much. Too much. Love can be poison SARAH J. MAAS I am broken and healing, but every piece of my heart belong to you. SARAH J. MAAS He thinks he'll be remembered as the villain in the story. But I forgot to tell him that the villain... SARAH J. MAAS Night gathers, and now my watch begins. It shall not end until my death. I shall take no wife, hold ... GEORGE R.R. MARTIN Hodor," said Hodor. GEORGE R.R. MARTIN Goodness is something chosen. When a man cannot choose he ceases to be a man. ANTHONY BURGESS We each are artists of the self, creating a collage -- a new and original work of art -- out of scra... JUDITH VIORST life is too short to despise people who simply can't help what they've done. JOHN GRISHAM Every man must have a philosophy of life, for everyone must have a standard by which to measur... B.R. AMBEDKAR Each of us has his place in the world " he said. "If we cannot serve in one way there is always anot... MARGUERITE DE ANGELI You do what you love, what you need SARAH J. MAAS He thought. He wrote. He read. He ran and drank milk and concrete. He was cut into two. He bled. He ... PATRICK DOWNES Love is the burning point of life, and since all life is sorrowful, so is love. The stronger the lov... JOSEPH CAMPBELL To fear death, gentlemen, is no other than to think oneself wise when one is not, to think one knows... SOCRATES I turned. Rhysand leaned against the archway into the sitting room, arms crossed, wings nowhere... SARAH J. MAAS Often dream creates imageries based on your emotional inclination. ABHIJIT NASKAR I say to life, "You are very hard", and I also say: "We are blind, we prefer to be blind. It is easi... FLORIDA SCOTT-MAXWELL It was definitely not our best of the season. No one did well. After bars, Heather talked to them an... BRANDY SWAGER Truly being able to see the needs of others around you, that is a rare gift. Only when you embrace i... WENDY MASS The biggest thing, ... is Kevin always knows what he wants to do. Sometimes pitchers will get in tho... CARL WILLIS I felt like Ford was going to take care of me and they talked to me and answered my questions. They ... TAYLOR FLOYD Adoption has been a part of my life and a part of my family, so it was how I wanted to start. It fel... KATHERINE HEIGL Who cares what THEY think, what do YOU think? You can't control others' perception of you, so just b... DAN O'DONNELL Ideally citizens are to think of themselves as if they were legislators and ask themselves what stat... JOHN RAWLS Birth and Death are words we chose to describe the doorways in and out of a cycle. This cycle is con... FRANKLIN GILLETTE You often love someone not for what they are, but for what you are when you are with them. JEFFREY FRY My colleagues at ICC are pleasantly surprised at the progress. They were here in December and the di... DON LOCKERBIE It is rare indeed that people give. Most people guard and keep; they suppose that it is they themsel... JAMES BALDWIN Ladies let me give you some advice: Men will treat you the way you let them. There is no such thing ... TUCKER MAX They came in with a different game plan than what we were expecting and executed it like they were s... DONALD WALKER Clay in the hands of a good potter suffers so many good turns, but in the end, we see its real and t... ERNEST AGYEMANG YEBOAH I thank God for schools that are serious about the gospel of Jesus Christ. They are vital to perpetu... JAMES C. DOBSON
More Mark Twain
Good friends, good books and a sleepy conscience: this is the ideal life. MARK TWAIN My books are like water; those of the great geniuses are wine. (Fortunately) everybody drinks water. MARK TWAIN Thousands of geniuses live and die undiscovered - either by themselves or by others. MARK TWAIN It ain't what you don't know that gets you into trouble. It's what you know for sure tha... MARK TWAIN The wit knows that his place is at the tail of a procession. MARK TWAIN India has 2,000,000 gods and worships them all. In religion, all other countries are paupers; India ... MARK TWAIN Ideally a book would have no order to it, and the reader would have to discover his own. MARK TWAIN I never let schooling interfere with my education. MARK TWAIN Nothing so needs reforming as other people's habits. MARK TWAIN Civilization is the limitless multiplication of unnecessary necessities. MARK TWAIN The trouble ain't that there is too many fools, but that the lightning ain't distributed rig... MARK TWAIN There is no distinctly American criminal class - except Congress. MARK TWAIN In the Spring, I have counted 136 different kinds of weather inside of 24 hours. MARK TWAIN Don't go around saying the world owes you a living. The world owes you nothing. It was here firs... MARK TWAIN But who prays for Satan? Who, in eighteen centuries, has had the common humanity to pray for the one... MARK TWAIN The more you explain it, the more I don't understand it. MARK TWAIN The human race has one really effective weapon, and that is laughter. MARK TWAIN Giving up smoking is the easiest thing in the world. I know because I've done it thousands of ti... MARK TWAIN It's not the size of the dog in the fight, it's the size of the fight in the dog. MARK TWAIN The more things are forbidden, the more popular they become. MARK TWAIN The lack of money is the root of all evil. MARK TWAIN Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company. MARK TWAIN Optimist: day dreamer more elegantly spelled. MARK TWAIN Name the greatest of all inventors. Accident. MARK TWAIN Man was made at the end of the week's work, when God was tired. MARK TWAIN Loyalty to petrified opinion never yet broke a chain or freed a human soul. MARK TWAIN There are lies, damned lies and statistics. MARK TWAIN Facts are stubborn, but statistics are more pliable. MARK TWAIN Part of the secret of a success in life is to eat what you like and let the food fight it out inside... MARK TWAIN Kindness is the language which the deaf can hear and the blind can see. MARK TWAIN The very ink with which history is written is merely fluid prejudice. MARK TWAIN Often it does seem such a pity that Noah and his party did not miss the boat. MARK TWAIN I make it a rule never to smoke while I'm sleeping. MARK TWAIN The right word may be effective, but no word was ever as effective as a rightly timed pause. MARK TWAIN All generalizations are false, including this one. MARK TWAIN 'Classic.' A book which people praise and don't read. MARK TWAIN The human race is a race of cowards; and I am not only marching in that procession but carrying a ba... MARK TWAIN The secret of getting ahead is getting started. MARK TWAIN Let us endeavor so to live so that when we come to die even the undertaker will be sorry. MARK TWAIN I don't like to commit myself about heaven and hell - you see, I have friends in both places. MARK TWAIN Denial ain't just a river in Egypt. MARK TWAIN If I owned half of that dog, I would shoot my half. MARK TWAIN What is Man? Man is a noisome bacillus whom Our Heavenly Father created because he was disappointed ... MARK TWAIN When I was a boy of 14, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around. B... MARK TWAIN When you have prayed for victory you have prayed for many unmentioned results which follow victorymu... MARK TWAIN The teacher reminded us that Romes liberties were not auctioned off in a day, but were bought slowly... MARK TWAIN By his father he is English, by his mother he is Americanto my mind the blend which makes the perfec... MARK TWAIN So I became a newspaperman. I hated to do it but I couldnt find honest employment. MARK TWAIN The people of those foreign countries are very, very ignorant. They looked curiously at the costumes... MARK TWAIN We should be careful to get out of an experience only the wisdom that is in itand stop there; lest w... MARK TWAIN The difference between the almost right word and the right word is really a large mattertis the diff... MARK TWAIN Say the report is exaggerated. MARK TWAIN A jay hasnt got any more principle than a Congressman. A jay will lie, a jay will steal, a jay will ... MARK TWAIN To my mind Judas Iscariot was nothing but a low, mean, premature Congressman. MARK TWAIN I think I can say, and say with pride, that we have some legislatures that bring higher prices than ... MARK TWAIN A myriad of men are born; they labor and sweat and struggle; ...they squabble and scold and fight; t... MARK TWAIN Life does not consist mainly, or even largely, of facts and happenings. It consists mainly of the st... MARK TWAIN Annihilation has no terrors for me, because I have already tried it before I was born --a hundred mi... MARK TWAIN Whoever has lived long enough to find out what life is, knows how deep a debt of gratitude we owe to... MARK TWAIN We never become really and genuinely our entire and honest selves until we are dead -- and not then ... MARK TWAIN Let us endeavor so to live that when we come to die even the undertaker will be sorry. MARK TWAIN All say, How hard it is that we have to die -- a strange complaint to come from the mouths of people... MARK TWAIN Persons attempting to find a motive in this narrative will be prosecuted; persons attempting to find... MARK TWAIN Write without pay until somebody offers to pay you. If nobody offers within three years, sawing wood... MARK TWAIN As to the adjective, when in doubt strike it out. MARK TWAIN I am admonished in many ways that time is pushing me inexorably along. I am approaching the threshol... MARK TWAIN Methuselah lived to be 969 years old . You boys and girls will see more in the next fifty years than... MARK TWAIN The older we grow the greater becomes our wonder at how much ignorance one can contain without burst... MARK TWAIN When your friends begin to flatter you on how young you look, it's a sure sign you're getting old. MARK TWAIN All you need in this life is ignorance and confidence, and then success is sure. MARK TWAIN The only way to keep your health is to eat what you don't want, drink what you don't like, and do wh... MARK TWAIN To cease smoking is the easiest thing I ever did. I ought to know because I've done it a thousand ... MARK TWAIN Never have a battle of wits with an unarmed person. MARK TWAIN It could probably be shown by facts and figures that there is no distinctly native American criminal... MARK TWAIN Man was made at the end of the week's work, when God was tired MARK TWAIN It is a mistake that there is no bath that will cure people's manners, but drowning would help. MARK TWAIN Man is the only animal that blushes - or needs to. MARK TWAIN Lord save us all from old age and broken health and a hope tree that has lost the faculty of putting... MARK TWAIN To succeed in the other trades, capacity must be shown; in the law, concealment of it will do. MARK TWAIN Between us, we cover all knowledge; he knows all that can be known and I know the rest. MARK TWAIN The church is always trying to get other people to reform; it might not be a bad idea to reform itse... MARK TWAIN Stars are good too. I wish I could get some to put in my hair. But I suppose I never can. You would ... MARK TWAIN There are German songs which can make a stranger to the language cry. MARK TWAIN The trouble with the world is not that people know too little, but that they know so many things tha... MARK TWAIN Optimist: Day-dreamer more elegantly spelled MARK TWAIN Necessity is the mother of "taking chances" MARK TWAIN Distance lends enchantment to the view MARK TWAIN Be good and you will be lonesome. MARK TWAIN Chastity - you can carry it too far MARK TWAIN To be good is noble, but to teach others how to be good is nobler--and less trouble. MARK TWAIN Most writers regard truth as their most valuable possession, and therefore are most economical in it... MARK TWAIN Fiction is obliged to stick to possibilities. Truth isn't. MARK TWAIN When you cannot get a compliment in any other way pay yourself one. MARK TWAIN There is nothing you can say in answer to a compliment. I have been complimented myself a great many... MARK TWAIN Never learn to do anything. If you don't learn, you will always find someone else to do it for you. MARK TWAIN I can't do literary work for the rest of this year because I'm meditating another lawsuit and lookin... MARK TWAIN Humor must not professedly teach and it must not professedly preach, but it must do both if it would... MARK TWAIN Wit is the sudden marriage of ideas which, before their union, were not perceived to have any relati... MARK TWAIN Wit and Humor -- if any difference, it is in duration -- lightning and electric light. Same material... MARK TWAIN Everything human is pathetic. The secret source of Humor itself is not joy but sorrow. There is no... MARK TWAIN There is a great deal of human nature in people. MARK TWAIN If man had created man, he would be ashamed of his performance. MARK TWAIN There are times when one would like to hang the whole human race, and finish the farce. MARK TWAIN The human race was always interesting and we know by its past that it will always continue so, monot... MARK TWAIN Man is a creature made at the end of the week's work when God was tired. MARK TWAIN Such is the human race. Often it does seem such a pity that Noah and his party did not miss the boat... MARK TWAIN It ain't those parts of the Bible that I can't understand that bother me, it is the parts th... MARK TWAIN Of all the various kinds of sexual intercourse, this has the least to recommend it. As an amusement,... MARK TWAIN Scientists have odious manners, except when you prop up their theory; then you can borrow money of t... MARK TWAIN Loyalty to country ALWAYS. Loyalty to government, when it deserves it. MARK TWAIN Man is the only creature who has a nasty mind. MARK TWAIN We like a man to come right out and say what he thinks, if we agree with him. MARK TWAIN O Lord our God, help us to tear their soldiers to bloody shreds with our shells; help us to cover th... MARK TWAIN A man never reaches that dizzy height of wisdom that he can no longer be lead by the nose. MARK TWAIN Happiness ain't a thing in itself --it's only a contrast with something that ain't pleasant. And so,... MARK TWAIN There are people who can do all fine and heroic things but one: keep from telling their happiness to... MARK TWAIN I repeat, sir, that in whatever position you place a woman she is an ornament to society and a treas... MARK TWAIN Good friends, good books and a sleepy conscience: this is the ideal life. The conviction of the rich... MARK TWAIN Grief can take care of itself; but to get the full value of a joy you must have somebody to divide i... MARK TWAIN Let us be grateful to Adam, our benefactor. He cut us out of the blessing of idleness and won for us... MARK TWAIN Intellectual work is misnamed; it is a pleasure, a dissipation, and is its own highest reward. MARK TWAIN Work and play are words used to describe the same thing under differing conditions. MARK TWAIN I do not like work even when someone else does it. MARK TWAIN Work consists of whatever a body is obliged to do, and play consists of whatever a body is not oblig... MARK TWAIN Often the surest way to convey misinformation is to tell the strict truth. MARK TWAIN Truth is neither alive nor dead; it just aggravates itself all the time. MARK TWAIN No real gentleman will tell the naked truth in the presence of ladies. MARK TWAIN We had the sky up there, and we used to lay on our backs and look up at them, and discuss whether th... MARK TWAIN Man is a Religious Animal. He is the only Religious Animal. He is the only animal that has the True ... MARK TWAIN When you ascend the hill of prosperity, may you not meet a friend. MARK TWAIN Prosperity is the surest breeder of insolence I know. MARK TWAIN Let us be thankful for the fools. But for them the rest of us could not succeed. MARK TWAIN We need not worry so much about what man descends from; it's what he descends to that shames the hum... MARK TWAIN There's always something about your success that displeases even your best friends. MARK TWAIN I cannot see how a man of any large degree of humorous perception can ever be religious -- except he... MARK TWAIN There was never a century nor a country that was short of experts who knew the Deity's mind and were... MARK TWAIN People are much more willing to lend you books than bookcases. MARK TWAIN My books are water; those of the great geniuses are wine -- everybody drinks water. MARK TWAIN A big leather-bound volume makes an ideal razor strap. A thin book is useful to stick under a table ... MARK TWAIN When the doctrine of allegiance to party can utterly up-end a man's moral constitution and make a te... MARK TWAIN In statesmanship get the formalities right, never mind about the moralities. MARK TWAIN Fleas can be taught nearly anything that a Congressman can. MARK TWAIN The lack of money is the root of all evils. MARK TWAIN His money is twice tainted: taint yours and taint mine. MARK TWAIN Both marriage and death ought to be welcome: The one promises happiness, doubtless the other assures... MARK TWAIN All schools, all colleges, have two great functions: to confer, and to conceal, valuable knowledge. ... MARK TWAIN Soap and education are not as sudden as a massacre, but they are more deadly in the long run. Traini... MARK TWAIN We have a criminal jury system which is superior to any in the world; and its efficiency is only m... MARK TWAIN There are many scapegoats for our sins, but the most popular is providence. MARK TWAIN It is by the goodness of God that we have those three unspeakably precious things: freedom of speech... MARK TWAIN There isn't a single human characteristic that can be safely labeled as American. MARK TWAIN War talk by men who have been in a war is always interesting; whereas moon talk by a poet who has no... MARK TWAIN There comes a time in every rightly constructed boy's life when he has a raging desire to go somewhe... MARK TWAIN To arrive at a just estimate of a renowned man's character one must judge it by the standards of his... MARK TWAIN One of the most striking differences between a cat and a lie is that a cat has only nine lives. MARK TWAIN A wise man does not waste so good a commodity as lying for naught. MARK TWAIN A lie can run around the world six times while the truth is still trying to put on its pants. MARK TWAIN I have a higher and grander standard of principle than George Washington. He could not lie; I can, b... MARK TWAIN The public is the only critic whose opinion is worth anything at all. MARK TWAIN A good memory and a tongue tied in the middle is a combination which gives immortality to conversati... MARK TWAIN Only a government that is rich and safe can afford to be a democracy, for democracy is the most expe... MARK TWAIN Satan hasn't a single salaried helper; the Opposition employ a million. MARK TWAIN It is curious that physical courage should be so common in the world, and moral courage so rare. MARK TWAIN Courage is resistance to fear, mastery of fear--not absence of fear. Except a creature be part cowar... MARK TWAIN Suppose you were an idiot and suppose you were a member of Congress. But I repeat myself MARK TWAIN When I was a boy of fourteen, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man aro... MARK TWAIN Faith is believing what you know ain't so. MARK TWAIN It was the schoolboy who said, Faith is believing what you know ain't so. MARK TWAIN Never let formal education get in the way of your learning. MARK TWAIN There is nothing training cannot do. Nothing is above its reach. It can turn bad morals to good; it ... MARK TWAIN I've never let my school interfere with my education. MARK TWAIN In a good bookroom you feel in some mysterious way that you are absorbing the wisdom contained in al... MARK TWAIN Whenever you find yourself on the side of the majority, it is time to reform (or pause and reflect). MARK TWAIN If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous he will not bite you. This is the principal di... MARK TWAIN A person that started in to carry a cat home by the tail was getting knowledge that was always going... MARK TWAIN Man is the Reasoning Animal. Such is the claim. I think it is open to dispute. Indeed, my experiment... MARK TWAIN Of all God's creatures, there is only one that cannot be made slave of the leash. That one is the ca... MARK TWAIN If animals could speak, the dog would be a blundering outspoken fellow; but the cat would have the r... MARK TWAIN The Bible has noble poetry in it... and some good morals and a wealth of obscenity, and upwards of a... MARK TWAIN Most writers regard the truth as their most valuable possession, and therefore are economical in its... MARK TWAIN The two most important days in your life are the day you are born and the day you find out why. MARK TWAIN Keep away from people who try to belittle your ambitions. Small people always do that, but the reall... MARK TWAIN If you don't read the newspaper, you're uninformed. If you read the newspaper, you're mis-informed. MARK TWAIN ′Classic′ - a book which people praise and don't read. MARK TWAIN Sanity and happiness are an impossible combination. MARK TWAIN I have never let my schooling interfere with my education. MARK TWAIN The man who does not read has no advantage over the man who cannot read. MARK TWAIN Truth is stranger than fiction, but it is because Fiction is obliged to stick to possibilities; Trut... MARK TWAIN Never tell the truth to people who are not worthy of it. MARK TWAIN A lie can travel half way around the world while the truth is putting on its shoes. MARK TWAIN All right, then, I'll go to hell. MARK TWAIN The dog is a gentleman; I hope to go to his heaven not man's. MARK TWAIN Heaven goes by favor. If it went by merit, you would stay out and your dog would go in. MARK TWAIN If Christ were here there is one thing he would not be—a Christian. MARK TWAIN To get the full value of joy you must have someone to divide it with. MARK TWAIN Grief can take care of itself, but to get the full value of joy you must have somebody to divide it ... MARK TWAIN Everyone is a moon, and has a dark side which he never shows to anybody. MARK TWAIN Education: the path from cocky ignorance to miserable uncertainty. MARK TWAIN Forgiveness is the fragrance that the violet sheds on the heel that has crushed it. MARK TWAIN I was gratified to be able to answer promptly, and I did. I said I didn’t know. MARK TWAIN