People are saying that I'm an alcoholic, and that's not true, because I only drink when I work, and I'm a workaholic.


Ron White

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Take me to the height where success would seek my help to succeed!
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I drink because I'm thirsty.
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When I was about 12 years old back in Houston, my Dad used to take us to the driving range.
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Anybody could say anything they want about me, and it literally never penetrates my skin.
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I believe that a bad Super Bowl halftime show is still better than a soccer game.
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The next time you have a thought... let it go.
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I was a comedy fan when I was a little kid.
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I love Cincinnati, but you can keep that spaghetti chili product!
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When I was a kid, mostly I played in a ditch that didn't have much water in it. It was for drain...
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I've never been one to look up the ladder. I've always looked down the ladder. As long as th...
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Diamonds - that'll shut her up... for a minute!
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I think honest communication, no matter where it comes from, is positive for a relationship.
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You can't fix stupid.
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I've got a great cigar collection - it's actually not a collection, because that would imply...
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I had the right to remain silent... but I didn't have the ability.
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I was by far the least popular of the Blue Collar crew when we started. There was a definite pecking...
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If you watch the 'Blue Collar Comedy Tour,' don't expect that when you come see me by my...
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I believe when life gives you lemons, you should make lemonade...and try to find someone whose life ...
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I believe that if life gives you lemons, you should make lemonade... And try to find somebody whose ...
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My favorite bands are the Allman Brothers and Red Hot Chili Peppers.
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It went from Bob Newhart to Flip Wilson to Bill Cosby to Richard Pryor to George Carlin to Cheech an...
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I really understood a lot more about comedy after listening to Bill Hicks, who died at 32 years old....
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I had the right to remain silent... but I didn't have the ability.
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My life has been wild enough to derive all of the stories you need out of it. I've been through ...
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The way my brain processes information is quite odd. I mean, I have Attention Deficit Disorder and a...
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I pretty much give both barrels every time I walk on stage.
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A killer Cuban restaurant with a giant cigar bar. Have me a Cuban sandwich. That's just like hea...
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There were years when I was a beer and tequila guy, then I got real fat. And then I found that you c...
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Don't bring your kids to my show, and I won't come to your house and cuss.
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When life gives you lemons, you make lemonade. Then find someone who's life is givin' them vodka and...
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My biggest pet peeve, I guess, is other comedians criticizing Larry the Cable Guy.
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If you look at the common denominator of all the comics who have had big success, it's being tru...
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Lisa is one of the funniest comedians. She absolutely killed me. I loved it.
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[There's a] secret story ... They call me Tater Salad.
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My brain is like a cross between a colander and a Lazy Susan - thin, slow, and it leaks.
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The only way to stay sharp is to do live shows. There is no part-time comedy.
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If I'm not in the theatre, I'm in an open mic night or doing a guest set at the Comedy Club,...
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You wanna get the truth out of me, get me hammered.
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Any time someone achieves success before they've earned it, it always comes back to haunt them.
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TV is a hard job. You work 15 hours a day. People tell you what to do. I hate to do it.
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I would have rather been beat by a plumber than Kathy Griffin.
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I believe if life gives you lemons make lemonadeā€¦then find someone that life gave vodka to and hav...
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Drunk in Public Tour.
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Star Wars Episode Three (And One Quarter): Revenge Of The Hicks
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Like a lot of Iowans, I have to drive just to meet basic needs, ... Am I going to drive into town fo...
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It's not like driving the freeways of California. It's dog-eat-dog out here. You have to have water ...
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I hope you've enjoyed some of the new stuff tonight as well as some of the old stuff, ... I'll never...
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even if you're dead.
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got funnier and funnier.
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I was desperate for new material, so anything I can write a joke about that works is in the act. No ...
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There's not a pill you can take; there's not a class you can go to. Stupid is forever.
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The first thing I ever got my hands on was Andy Griffith's 'What It Was, Was Football.' ...
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One of my top priorities will be to defund Planned Parenthood.
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My biggest regret could be summed up in one word, and that's procrastination.
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How did we win the election in the year 2000? We talked about a humble foreign policy: No nation-bui...
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Capitalism should not be condemned, since we haven't had capitalism.
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Our country's founders cherished liberty, not democracy.
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You wanna get rid of drug crime in this country? Fine, let's just get rid of all the drug laws.
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What is not conservative about saying, 'Don't go to war unless we go to war properly with a ...
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Well, I don't think we should go to the moon. I think we maybe should send some politicians up t...
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1913 wasn't a very good year. 1913 gave us the income tax, the 16th amendment and the IRS.
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If you like small government you need to work hard at having a strong national defense that is not s...
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When one gets in bed with government, one must expect the diseases it spreads.
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The moral and constitutional obligations of our representatives in Washington are to protect our lib...
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There is only one kind of freedom and that's individual liberty. Our lives come from our creator...
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Legitimate use of violence can only be that which is required in self-defense.
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I am absolutely opposed to a national ID card. This is a total contradiction of what a free society ...
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The last show we played, I was straight as a die. It did feel weird not to be hiding behind alcohol ...
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You cannot be against embryonic stem cell research and be intellectually and therefore morally consi...
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Justifying conscription to promote the cause of liberty is one of the most bizarre notions ever conc...
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In the 1970s we saw a massive shift of household savings from the banks to the brokerage firms.
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I see a bright future for Florida and for America, and my campaign will be about the ideas and princ...
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A crash really occurs when you suddenly have a violent downturn in the market that then heralds a lo...
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Watching National League pitchers trying to hit or even bunt is depressing.
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I am very grateful to Jeb Bush for his support of my candidacy.
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When I came to town and saw the price of diesel went above regular gas, that burnt me up.
RON ZIEGLER
You don't want too much fear in a market, because people will be blinded to some very good buyin...
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There's a basic rule which runs through all kinds of music, kind of an unwritten rule. I don't know ...
RON WOOD
Positive thinking is the key to success in business, education, pro football, anything that you can...
RON JAWORSKI
It's an appeal as old as America and its presidency: This is an extraordinary country populated ...
RON FOURNIER
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RON FOURNIER
I have very close friends who are very devout Catholics, and I talked to them before the 'Da Vin...
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Really, I was such a late bloomer, I really didn't learn how to be me until I was in my late ...
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I lost 90 pounds and my blood pressure went down to a normal level and the salt in my urine disappea...
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A small profit it better than a big loss
RON RASH
Christie led the way - with a bulldozer. The governor is blunt, brash, and self-consciously authenti...
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Fractal geometry is everywhere, even in lines drawn in the sand. It's the cycle of life... You s...
RON EGLASH
You don't have power if you surrender all your principles -- you have office.
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But nothing is solid and permanent. Our lives are raised on the shakiest foundations. You don't need...
RON RASH
But let it not be said that we did nothing. Let not those who love the power of the welfare/warfare ...
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The British were unhinged by the colonists' unorthodox fighting style and shocking failure to abide ...
RON CHERNOW
To love a man enough to help him, you have to forfeit the warm, self-righteous glow that comes from ...
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You reach a point where you say you're not going to do juveniles any longer.
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Being an umpire is like being a king. It prepares you for nothing.
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Every new idea is an impossibility until it is born.
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Competing in sports has taught me that if I'm not willing to give 120 percent, somebody else will.
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After being Washington's aide for four years and becoming the hero of Yorktown, Hamilton was vie...
RON CHERNOW
Life is an aggregate of experience, which continually surprises us.
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More important is the fact that embryonic stem cell research could lead to new treatments and cures ...
RON KIND
I don't live in books, but, boy, have books amplified my life.
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I am just absolutely convinced that the best formula for giving us peace and preserving the American...
RON PAUL
America needs a new generation of leaders to address the big issues facing the country: alleviating ...
RON DESANTIS
We need a new generation of leaders who will promote policies that will foster economic growth and a...
RON DESANTIS
Freedom of religion is a principle that is central to our Nation's Declaration of Independence. ...
RON LEWIS
We must enforce the laws we have on the books, secure our borders, and deny special benefits to ille...
RON DESANTIS
More customers for Canadian oil means that Canadian producers can charge more for their oil, which t...
RON WYDEN
Al-Qaeda has a kind of loose, almost entrepreneurial structure with lots of cells in various countri...
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I absolutely reject that idea that the press is liberal and what it does is liberal. In my view, it&...
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We have all read tragic stories in our local papers about gun accidents as a result of misuse. As la...
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When I occasionally indulge in sort of a 'look back' at highlights, it's so interesting ...
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Even as kids reach adolescence, they need more than ever for us to watch over them. Adolescence is n...
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I believe that we all have a responsibility to give back. No one becomes successful without lots of ...
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When you're young and you're striving, it's all uphill, and it's easier to climb. Th...
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By nominating Chuck Hagel to be his Defense secretary, President Obama is putting forward an aloof c...
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We have three cats. It's like having children, but there is no tuition involved.
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Real patriotism is a willingness to challenge the government when it's wrong.
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I don't even like to use the word relationship. I don't know what it means.
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Facebook is becoming the web. Everything you need is there... it is the universe.
RON CONWAY
Cities like New York have already followed San Francisco and have started similar organizations like...
RON CONWAY
I started sfCiti because I believed that technology companies needed to take a 'One City' ap...
RON CONWAY
I couldn't care less who is mad at me as long as the entrepreneur comes out ahead.
RON CONWAY
I never said I enjoy anything about using the Internet. I enjoy helping the entrepreneurs who are bu...
RON CONWAY
All the biggest companies are based on a founder who had a need, hacked it together, and said, '...
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The tech community is a closely knit group, which is why it's so powerful. All of these companie...
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Social media is here to stay, and the social phenomenon that is bringing this about is consumers'...
RON CONWAY
As the tech industry continues to grow and sprout successful startups across the country, it is impo...
RON CONWAY
Tech people like to stick to their knitting, and they measure their accomplishments by the growth of...
RON CONWAY
I really don't have a lot of interest in national politics, and it's because I'm a skept...
RON CONWAY
Technology does more than delight, entertain and make our lives more convenient, it's also an ag...
RON CONWAY
By welcoming eager, talented workers, we expand America's potential for growth, and our competit...
RON CONWAY
I am most proud of what sfCiti has accomplished with the 'Circle the Schools' program, which...
RON CONWAY
You can't learn to be ambitious and driven.
RON CONWAY
Pinterest is offering consumers a way to discover things on the web, in a serendipitous way, with a ...
RON CONWAY
Anytime is a good time to start a company.
RON CONWAY
The more angels we have in Silicon Valley, the better. We are funding innovation. We are funding the...
RON CONWAY
From my standpoint, we ought to be talking about... how do you make Wisconsin a more attractive plac...
RON JOHNSON
I think now that I'm in the autumn of my life, and I'm getting a chance of having an overvie...
RON PERLMAN
Life is not always like chess. Just because you have the king surrounded, don't think he is not ...
RON LIVINGSTON
It is unclear exactly how many law enforcement agencies are currently using this capability, but it ...
RON WYDEN
No one among us suffers the radical appreciation for coffee that I do. It calls to me, but I have le...
RON CARLSON
I don't think that a mutual fund that invests exclusively in biotech start-ups or invests exclus...
RON CHERNOW
Whether you are just entering the workforce or nearing retirement age, planning for the future is cr...
RON LEWIS
Positive thinking is the key to success in business, education, pro football, anything that you can ...
RON JAWORSKI
I'm honored to have the support of Attorney General Bondi. She has been a champion for constitut...
RON DESANTIS
Once the brokerage house, rather than the bank, became the locus for American savings, that money wo...
RON CHERNOW
A system of capitalism presumes sound money, not fiat money manipulated by a central bank. Capitalis...
RON PAUL
There is technique to it-he is just standing there flexing his arm, and I am standing there making f...
RON LIVINGSTON
The practice of passing bills to find out what is in them represents a Forrest Gump-box of chocolate...
RON DESANTIS
Back a hundred years ago, especially around Woodrow Wilson, what happened in this country is we took...
RON PAUL
Feel pity for those with insecurities that rest heavy on their shoulders. They'll take every opportu...
RON BARATONO
You can't make anything idiot proof because idiots are so ingenious.
RON BURNS
When you hear somebody justifying a war by citing the Almighty, I get a little worried, frankly.
RON REAGAN
Washington's answer to a self-inflicted financial crisis reminded Americans why they so deeply d...
RON FOURNIER
Cliches about supporting the troops are designed to distract from failed policies, policies promoted...
RON PAUL
Close elections tend to break toward the challenger because undecided voters - having held out so lo...
RON FOURNIER
The heartbeat of a football team is the quarterback position and I think everyone who has any intell...
RON JAWORSKI
Most of the scientific community believes that for the full potential of embryonic stem cell researc...
RON KIND