People keep talking about this unfolding. I can't trust the unfolding, okay? If there is some higher power making origami out of the universe, it hates my guts. I was a fat kid whose parents got divorced, whose father died, and then who got cancer herself. So no. I don't trust how things are going to unfold.

You need to be flagrantly insouciant.
You care way too much.
And because of that you will be paralyzed for life and miss out on everything.

muted tones of puce--the color of tongue and bologna

It's like being dropped into a black hole. A vacuum of existence. When I turn around, I will be instantly orphaned because I'll know no one can hack it. And no one is in charge. But it's worse than being orphaned because at the same time I am tethered to his failure. His problems are tied around my heart. I will never get away. I am afraid. But I turn around.

Pessimism leads to weakness, optimism to power

The optimist sees the rose and not its thorns; the pessimist stares at the thorns, oblivious to the rose