People who count their chickens before they are hatched act very wisely because chickens run about so absurdly that it's impossible to count them accurately.

To get back my youth I would do anything in the world, except take exercise, get up early, or be respectable.

Well I won't argue about the matter. You always want to argue about things.
That is exactly what things were originally made for.

Crying is for plain women. Pretty women go shopping.

Unless one is wealthy there is no use in being a charming fellow. Romance is the privilege of the rich, not the profession of the unemployed. The poor should be practical and prosaic. It is better to have a permanent income than to be fascinating.

I have no objection to anyone’s sex life as long as they don’t practice it in the street and frighten the horses.