Politics doesn't make strange bedfellows - marriage does.


Groucho Marx

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Politics doesn't make strange bedfellows, marriage does.
JACKIE MASON
Politics doesn't make strange bedfellows, marriage does.
GROUCHO MARX
Politics doesn't make strange bedfellows, marriage does
GROUCHO MARX
Politics makes strange bedfellows.
CHARLES DUDLEY WARNER
Politics makes strange bedfellows
CHARLES DUDLEY WARNER
I was always a fan of Groucho Marx as a kid.
MICHAEL FELDMAN
The only real laughter comes from despair.
GROUCHO MARX
I’ll put off reading Lolita for six more years until she turns 18.
GROUCHO MARX
The bedfellows politics made are never strange. It only seems that way to those who have not watched...
MARCEL ACHARD
War makes strange bedfellows.
HELEN THOMAS
Politics makes estranged bedfellows.
GOODMAN ACE
The world would not be in such a snarl,/ had Marx been Groucho instead of Karl.
IRVING BERLIN
The world would not be in such a snarl, had Marx been Groucho instead of Karl.
IRVING BERLIN
As we've learned in 1941, national emergencies can create strange bedfellows.
DAN COATS
Misery acquaints a man with strange bedfellows.
WILLIAM SHAKESPEARE
Real politics is messy and morally ambiguous and doesn't make for a compelling thriller.
JAMES SUROWIECKI
Politics makes strange bedfellows. I can see most of the Sunnis voting against this (charter), plus ...
DAVID MACK
Well, Kaleb’s voice whispered in Nikita’s mind, it seems this will make strange bedfellows out o...
NALINI SINGH
Marriage takes work - it doesn't just happen.
LARA STONE
Straight couples don't have to be monogamous to be married or married to be monogamous. Monogamy...
DAN SAVAGE
Up there with my awards, I have a great big statue of Groucho Marx, just to put everything in perspe...
JOHN LITHGOW
Throughout my life, there are four people I've met who were truly original people. The other thr...
ALICE COOPER
Other than marriage, she doesn't control me and I don't control her.
GAVYN DAVIES
Uncertainty doesn't make life worth living, quite, but it does make striving and gambling worth ...
WALTER KIRN
Just because you do not take an interest in politics doesn't mean politics won't take an int...
PERICLES
My mother is a very strange woman... She doesn't understand me in the least and doesn't love...
EGON SCHIELE
Prayer does not use up artificial energy, doesn't burn up any fossil fuel, doesn't pollute. ...
MARGARET MEAD
Misery acquaints a man with strange bedfellows. -The Tempest. Act ii. Sc. 2.
WILLIAM SHAKESPEARE
Disability doesn't make you exceptional, but questioning what you think you know about it does.
STELLA YOUNG
Stupidity doesn't make you wise, it makes you stupid!
DEYTH BANGER
Independence doesn't - doesn't equate to moderates. Millions of independents are pro-life. M...
GARY BAUER
Lead yourself whenever your boss' leadership deteriorates. When your boss doesn't praise wha...
MARIO TEGUH
Why there is word for "End"???, which mean why there is "End",...!?

(So far it doesn't ex...
DEYTH BANGER
Don't look now, but there's one too many in this room and I think it's you
GROUCHO MARX
Predicting rain doesn't count. Building arks does.
WARREN BUFFETT
Good design doesn't date. Bad design does.
PAUL RAND
Just because you say something doesn't make it controversial, and it doesn't make you a bad ...
CHARLES BARKLEY
I have been doing marriage counseling for about 15 years and I realized that what makes one person f...
GARY CHAPMAN
We've received a lot of funding from Democratic and Republican administrations. It makes for some st...
DAVID HOFFMAN
A marriage doesn't have to be perfect, but you can be perfect for each other.
JESSICA SIMPSON
Politics organizes our lives. We can't disregard it. Politics has lot of muck, lot of dirt. But ...
PAWAN KALYAN
They make Spy Kids, they make Scream, they make A Scary Movie. This doesn't do that, so it could...
TERRY GILLIAM
Europe will not accept genetically modified foods. It doesn't make any difference in the final a...
JEREMY RIFKIN
Dust does rise, doesn't it? And so can I.
DIONNE WARWICK
Life doesn't get easier but it does get funnier.
KATY MANNING
The Exorcist doesn't get me, but The Omen does.
ETHAN EMBRY
In this country, it doesn't make any difference where you were born. It doesn't make any dif...
ARNOLD SCHWARZENEGGER
If I see a fashion show with literal influences, it doesn't make me think any more. It doesn'...
RAF SIMONS
Spring Break is very strange. I grew up in France, so I don't know Spring Break. That doesn'...
ALEXANDRE AJA
I was changing a light bulb over Groucho Marx's bed, so I took my shoes off, got on his bed and ...
ELLIOTT GOULD
Don't be misled by those who claim God doesn't exist, because He does.
BILLY GRAHAM
Sitting at the table doesn't make you a diner. You must be eating some of what's on that pla...
MALCOLM X
A civil servant doesn't make jokes.
EUGENE IONESCO
A rhyme doesn't make a song.
DOROTHY FIELDS
Just because marriage didn't work for us doesn't mean we don't believe in the institutio...
SANDRA TSING LOH
It's a lot of work to make a marriage work. Just because you have been married for a while doesn...
MALAIKA ARORA KHAN
Money doesn't make people happy. People make people happy.
STEVE WYNN
Everyone know is, soul does it or it doesn't exist it really doesn't matter. What does it matter is ...
DEYTH BANGER
That's my prescription for a happy marriage - marry someone who doesn't do anything similar ...
MAXINE KUMIN
Television doesn't like politics very well, if you can infer that from the way they cover it.
JACK GERMOND
When you're in jail, a good friend will be trying to bail you out. A best friend will be in the cell...
LINDA KAGE
I want a politics that doesn't need to pretend to be holy or perfect or infallible. I want a pol...
NICK HARKAWAY
Just because it is not done your way, doesn't mean it is not right.
CHARMAINE J FORDE
There's an inordinate amount of attention put on actors. Some people want to make their lives pu...
GRACE PARK
Joy doesn't betray but sustains activism. And when you face a politics that aspires to make you ...
REBECCA SOLNIT
The thing that made Groucho special was the way he used his body parts. He also had a wicked tongue....
SIDNEY SHELDON
You have to want to be married to someone. You have to feel that reciprocated. Marriage for marriage...
ANNE HATHAWAY
It doesn't use shading, but it does use stroke length variations.
JOHN ROBERT GREGG
Having a million-dollar net worth doesn't make you a genius, and having less than a million-doll...
NAVAL RAVIKANT
A 527 doesn't have a wife. It doesn't have a brother-in-law who knows a lot about politics, ...
ROGER STONE
Dance music doesn't care where you live. It doesn't care who your friends are. It doesn'...
GIORGIO MORODER
It's very strange that you condemn me as a terrorist at the same time as you call on me to help ...
WALID MUALLEM
The secret of life is honesty and fair dealing. If you can fake that, you've got it made. Life is a ...
GROUCHO MARX
Pretending that we live doesn't make us alive.
SERJ TANKIAN
NBC programs great shows; it just doesn't have the eyeballs CBS does.
SEAN HAYES
Liberty doesn't work as well in practice as it does in speeches.
WILL ROGERS
What's the point in being an unpopular writer? It just doesn't make a lot of sense. For me i...
BRYCE COURTENAY
Isn't it funny - why is it called a tennis bracelet? It doesn't seem very tennis, does it?
JOHN CAMERON MITCHELL
For every person that doesn't like you, there's gonna be somebody who does.
LANCE GROSS
There are many different ways of categorizing news. It doesn't have to be just war and famine an...
PIERS MORGAN
An award doesn't necessarily make you a better actor.
JAVIER BARDEM
I like that feeling of discombobulation that comes in creating an absurd world that doesn't make...
REGGIE WATTS
Political conservatives need to recognize that multicultural politics is converging with leftist pol...
TOM TANCREDO
The establishment in Britain is certainly against the arts and against education. If something doesn...
PETER MAXWELL DAVIES
Politics and sports are the same thing in some ways. I like sports; I don't like the sports aspe...
HARI KONDABOLU
The good parts are the people who don't make do. They're the interesting people. Lear doesn&...
PETER O'TOOLE
Building a road might create temporary jobs, but does it really create wealth if it doesn't also...
MYRON SCHOLES
A record deal doesn't make you an artist; you make yourself an artist.
LADY GAGA
Adding 'just kidding' doesn't make it okay to insult the Principal.
NANCY CARTWRIGHT
Politics makes strange postmasters.
KIN HUBBARD
You are seeing some strange retail bedfellows. They may compete at some level, but they also bring s...
STAN POHMER
The world doesn't need another clothing company. But it does need a certain funk.
ANDRE BENJAMIN
The real achievement of Woody Allen was that he was making movies that felt very personal, and for a...
NOAH BAUMBACH
Cooties, doesn't show possibility shows impossibility.
DEYTH BANGER
The mankind doesn't deserv the title "KIND", after all they aren't kind they search ways to destroy ...
DEYTH BANGER
It ends or it doesn't.
That’s what you say. That’s
how you get through it.
The tu...
CAITLYN SIEHL
My boy, one small breeze doesn't make a wind storm.
JOHN MCGRAW
Dylan doesn't have to make Blonde On Blonde every time.
WARREN ZEVON
Publicity doesn't work for books. It really doesn't. All it does is get your name in front o...
KRISTINE KATHRYN RUSCH
I have a weird life because I live on songwriting royalties, which are a strange income. Sometimes i...
JOE STRUMMER

More Groucho Marx

I remember the first time I had sex - I kept the receipt.
GROUCHO MARX
The secret of life is honesty and fair dealing. If you can fake that, you've got it made.
GROUCHO MARX
Behind every successful man is a woman, behind her is his wife.
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I refuse to join any club that would have me as a member.
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Well, Art is Art, isn't it? Still, on the other hand, water is water. And east is east and west ...
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I intend to live forever, or die trying.
GROUCHO MARX
I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an exception.
GROUCHO MARX
Either he's dead or my watch has stopped.
GROUCHO MARX
I worked my way up from nothing to a state of extreme poverty.
GROUCHO MARX
Who are you going to believe, me or your own eyes?
GROUCHO MARX
Only one man in a thousand is a leader of men--the other 999 follow women.
GROUCHO MARX
Politics doesn't make strange bedfellows, marriage does.
GROUCHO MARX
One of the best hearing aids a man can have is an attentive wife.
GROUCHO MARX
Wives are people who feel they don't dance enough.
GROUCHO MARX
No man goes before his time -- unless the boss leaves early.
GROUCHO MARX
Time flies like an arrow, fruit flies like a banana.
GROUCHO MARX
The trouble with writing a book about yourself is that you can't fool around. If you write about som...
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Practically everybody in New York has half a mind to write a book, and does.
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From the moment I picked up your book until I laid it down, I was convulsed with laughter. Some day...
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The husband who wants a happy marriage should learn to keep his mouth shut and his checkbook open
GROUCHO MARX
Just give me a comfortable couch, a dog, a good book, and a woman. Then if you can get the dog to go...
GROUCHO MARX
I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and...
GROUCHO MARX
I, not events, have the power to make me happy or unhappy today. I can choose which it shall be. Yes...
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I am so broke, I can't even afford to fill up my bicycle.
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How does the healthy dog bark? Ruff Ruff.
How does the cold dog bark ? Scarf Scarf.
How...
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I think it is good that books still exist, but they do make me sleepy.
GROUCHO MARX
I have a new philosophy. I'm only going to dread one day at a time.
GROUCHO MARX
Insurance is like marriage. You pay, pay, pay, and you never get anything back.
GROUCHO MARX
Friends are chocolate chips in the cookie of life!
GROUCHO MARX
What did the dog say after walking in the desert for hours? If I don't find a tree soon I'm gonna p...
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I'm a Nillionaire. I have little to no money!
GROUCHO MARX
One of the great things about books is sometimes there are some fantastic pictures.
GROUCHO MARX
If aliens saw us walking our dogs and picking up their poop, who would they think is in charge?
GROUCHO MARX
A child of five could understand this. Send someone to fetch a child of five.
GROUCHO MARX
I've had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn't it.
GROUCHO MARX
When you're in jail, a good friend will be trying to bail you out. A best friend will be in the cell...
GROUCHO MARX
Blessed are the cracked, for they shall let in the light.
GROUCHO MARX
Military intelligence is a contradiction in terms.
GROUCHO MARX
I worked myself up from nothing to extreme poverty.
GROUCHO MARX
Look at me. I worked my way up from nothing to a state of extreme poverty.
GROUCHO MARX
Please accept my resignation. I don't care to belong to any club that will have me as a member.
GROUCHO MARX
If you've heard this story before, don't stop me, because I'd like to hear it again.
GROUCHO MARX
Although it is generally known, I think it's about time to announce that I was born at a very early ...
GROUCHO MARX
I won't belong to any organization that would have me as a member.
GROUCHO MARX
I never forget a face, but in your case I'll make an exception.
GROUCHO MARX
There is one way to find out if a man is honest; ask him! If he says yes you know he's crooked.
GROUCHO MARX
There is no sweeter sound than the crumbling of ones fellow man.
GROUCHO MARX
I eat like a vulture. Unfortunately the resemblance doesn't end there.
GROUCHO MARX
Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog it's too dark to read.
GROUCHO MARX
Paying alimony is like feeding hay to a dead horse.
GROUCHO MARX
I did toy with the idea of doing a cook-book. The recipes were to be the routine ones: how to make d...
GROUCHO MARX
A clown is like aspirin, only he works twice as fast.
GROUCHO MARX
I'm leaving because the weather is too good. I hate London when it's not raining.
GROUCHO MARX
My mother loved children--she would have given anything if I had been one.
GROUCHO MARX
Whoever named it necking is a poor judge of anatomy.
GROUCHO MARX
No man goes before his time / unless the boss leaves early.
GROUCHO MARX
The secret of life is honesty and fair dealing. If you can fake that, you've got it made. Life is a ...
GROUCHO MARX
Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it, misdiagnosing it, and then misapplying the w...
GROUCHO MARX
No one is completely unhappy at the failure of his best friend.
GROUCHO MARX
While money can't buy happiness, it certainly lets you choose your own form of misery.
GROUCHO MARX
I find television very educational. Every time someone switches it on I go into another room and rea...
GROUCHO MARX
If you've heard this story before, don't stop me, because I'd like to hear it again.
GROUCHO MARX
The first thing which I can record concerning myself is, that I was born. These are wonderful words....
GROUCHO MARX
Alimony is like buying hay for a dead horse.
GROUCHO MARX
I don't care to belong to a club that accepts people like me as members.
GROUCHO MARX
Man does not control his own fate. The women in his life do that for him.
GROUCHO MARX
Anyone who says he can see through women is missing a lot.
GROUCHO MARX
Next time I see you, remind me not to talk to you.
GROUCHO MARX
In Hollywood, brides keep the bouquets and throw away the groom.
GROUCHO MARX
I must confess, I was born at a very early age.
GROUCHO MARX
I have a mind to join a club and beat you over the head with it.
GROUCHO MARX
She got her looks from her father. He's a plastic surgeon.
GROUCHO MARX
I'm not feeling very well - I need a doctor immediately. Ring the nearest golf course.
GROUCHO MARX
A hospital bed is a parked taxi with the meter running.
GROUCHO MARX
Marriage is a wonderful institution, but who wants to live in an institution?
GROUCHO MARX
All people are born alike - except Republicans and Democrats.
GROUCHO MARX
From the moment I picked your book up until I laid it down, I was convulsed with laughter. Someday I...
GROUCHO MARX
I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn't it.
GROUCHO MARX
Before I speak, I have something important to say.
GROUCHO MARX
Outside of a dog, a book is a man's best friend. Inside of a dog it's too dark to read.
GROUCHO MARX
I didn't like the play, but then I saw it under adverse conditions - the curtain was up.
GROUCHO MARX
Getting older is no problem. You just have to live long enough.
GROUCHO MARX
Quote me as saying I was mis-quoted.
GROUCHO MARX
A black cat crossing your path signifies that the animal is going somewhere.
GROUCHO MARX
I won't belong to any organization that would have me as a member.
GROUCHO MARX
Please accept my resignation. I don't care to belong to any club that will have me as a member.
GROUCHO MARX
No man goes before his time - unless the boss leaves early.
GROUCHO MARX
I'm leaving because the weather is too good. I hate London when it's not raining.
GROUCHO MARX
Humor is reason gone mad.
GROUCHO MARX
One morning I shot an elephant in my pajamas. How he got into my pajamas I'll never know.
GROUCHO MARX
Those are my principles, and if you don't like them... well, I have others.
GROUCHO MARX
I wish to be cremated. One tenth of my ashes shall be given to my agent, as written in our contract.
GROUCHO MARX
I have had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn't it.
GROUCHO MARX
I've got a good mind to go out and join a club and beat you over the head with it.
GROUCHO MARX
I have nothing but respect for you -- and not much of that.
GROUCHO MARX
He may look like an idiot and talk like an idiot but don't let that fool you. He really is an idiot.
GROUCHO MARX
I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.
GROUCHO MARX
I, not events, have the power to make me happy or unhappy today. I can choose which it shall be. Yes...
GROUCHO MARX
Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it everywhere, diagnosing it incorrectly and app...
GROUCHO MARX
I've got the brain of a four year old. I'll bet he was glad to be rid of it.
GROUCHO MARX
Hollywood brides keep the bouquets and throw away the grooms.
GROUCHO MARX
Please accept my resignation. I don't care to belong to any club that will have me as a member.
GROUCHO MARX
I don’t have a photograph, but you can have my footprints. They’re upstairs in my socks.
GROUCHO MARX
Whoever named it necking was a poor judge of anatomy.
GROUCHO MARX
All geniuses die young.
GROUCHO MARX
There's one way to find out if a man is honest - ask him. If he says, 'Yes,' you know he...
GROUCHO MARX
I read in the newspapers they are going to have 30 minutes of intellectual stuff on television every...
GROUCHO MARX
We in the industry know that behind every successful screenwriter stands a woman. And behind her sta...
GROUCHO MARX
I find television very educational. The minute somebody turns it on, I go to the library and read a ...
GROUCHO MARX
She got her good looks from her father. He's a plastic surgeon.
GROUCHO MARX
The husband who wants a happy marriage should learn to keep his mouth shut and his checkbook open.
GROUCHO MARX
I do not care to belong to a club that accepts people like me as members.
GROUCHO MARX
No one is completely unhappy at the failure of his best friend.
GROUCHO MARX
My mother loved children - she would have given anything if I had been one.
GROUCHO MARX
There is no sweeter sound than the crumbling of one's fellow man.
GROUCHO MARX
She's afraid that if she leaves, she'll become the live of the party.
GROUCHO MARX
I'd horsewhip you if I had a horse.
GROUCHO MARX
In America you can go on the air and kid the politicians, and the politicians can go on the air and ...
GROUCHO MARX
Practically everybody in New York has half a mind to write a book -and does
GROUCHO MARX
From the moment I picked your book up until I laid it down I was convulsed with laughter. Some day I...
GROUCHO MARX
Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
GROUCHO MARX
Those are my principles, and if you don't like them... well, I have others.
GROUCHO MARX
There's one way to find out if a man is honest-ask him. If he says, "Yes," you know he is a crook.
GROUCHO MARX
She got her looks from her father. He's a plastic surgeon.
GROUCHO MARX
Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog it's too dark to read.
GROUCHO MARX
Money frees you from doing things you dislike. Since I dislike doing nearly everything, money is han...
GROUCHO MARX
Military justice is to justice what military music is to music.
GROUCHO MARX
It isn't necessary to have relatives in Kansas City in order to be unhappy.
GROUCHO MARX
I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn't it.
GROUCHO MARX
I sent the club a wire stating, PLEASE ACCEPT MY RESIGNATION. I DON'T WANT TO BELONG TO ANY CLUB THA...
GROUCHO MARX
I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an exception.
GROUCHO MARX
I could dance with you until the cows come home. On second thought I'd rather dance with the cows ...
GROUCHO MARX
Go, and never darken my towels again.
GROUCHO MARX
From the moment I picked up your book until I laid it down, I was convulsed with laughter. Some day ...
GROUCHO MARX
Either this man is dead or my watch has stopped.
GROUCHO MARX
Age is not a particularly interesting subject. Anyone can get old. All you have to do is live long e...
GROUCHO MARX
My mother loved children -- she would have given anything if I had been one.
GROUCHO MARX
A child of five would understand this. Send someone to fetch a child of five.
GROUCHO MARX
We dont like their sound, and guitar music is on the way out. Well, art is art, isnt it? Still, on t...
GROUCHO MARX
I don't have a photograph, but you can have my footprints. They're upstairs in my socks.
GROUCHO MARX
Women should be obscene and not heard.
GROUCHO MARX
Please accept my resignation. I don't want to belong to any club that will accept me as a member.
GROUCHO MARX
Wives are people who feel they don't dance enough
GROUCHO MARX
I was going to thrash them within an inch of their lives, but I didn't have a tape measure
GROUCHO MARX
The secret of success is honesty and fair dealing. If you can fake those, you’ve got it made.”
GROUCHO MARX
Why should I care about posterity? What's posterity ever done for me?
GROUCHO MARX
My favourite poem is the one that starts 'Thirty days hath September' because it actually tells you ...
GROUCHO MARX
My favourite poem is the one that starts 'Thirty days hath September' because it actually te...
GROUCHO MARX
Love flies out the door when money comes innuendo.
GROUCHO MARX
If income tax is the price you have to pay to keep the government on its feet, alimony is the price ...
GROUCHO MARX
Don’t ever underestimate the importance of money. I know it’s often been said that money won’t...
GROUCHO MARX
I must say I find television very educational. The minute somebody turns it on, I go to the library ...
GROUCHO MARX
You've got the brain of a four-year-old boy, and I bet he was glad to get rid of it
GROUCHO MARX
Wives are people who feel they don't dance enough.
GROUCHO MARX
Outside of a dog, a book is a man's best friend. inside of a dog, it's too dark to read.
GROUCHO MARX
[When Judy Garland lost the 1954 best actress Oscar to Grace Kelly in] The Country Girl, ... Dear Ju...
GROUCHO MARX
I was so long writing my review that I never got around to reading the book.
GROUCHO MARX
Politics doesn't make strange bedfellows, marriage does
GROUCHO MARX
Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana
GROUCHO MARX
Money will not make you happy, and happy will not make you money
GROUCHO MARX
Only one man in a thousand is a leader of men, the other 999 follow women
GROUCHO MARX
A man is only as old as the woman he feels.
GROUCHO MARX
Here's to our wives and girlfriends...may they never meet!
GROUCHO MARX
Some people claim that marriage interferes with romance. There's no doubt about it. Anytime you have...
GROUCHO MARX
If a black cat crosses your path, it signifies that the animal is going somewhere.
GROUCHO MARX
Yesterday is dead, tomorrow hasn't arrived yet. I have just one day, and I'm going to be happy in it...
GROUCHO MARX
I'm not crazy about reality, but it's still the only place to get a decent meal.
GROUCHO MARX
If you're not having fun, you're doing something wrong.
GROUCHO MARX
One morning I shot an elephant in my pajamas. How he got in my pajamas I'll never know.
GROUCHO MARX
Those are my principles, and if you don't like them...well I have others.
GROUCHO MARX
Learn from the mistakes of others. You can never live long enough to make them all yourself.
GROUCHO MARX
From the moment I picked up your book until I put it down, I was convulsed with laughter. Some day I...
GROUCHO MARX
It isn't necessary to have relatives in Kansas City in order to be unhappy.
GROUCHO MARX
Please accept my resignation. I don't want to belong to any club that will accept me as a member
GROUCHO MARX
I did toy with the idea of doing a cook-book. . . . I think a lot of people who hate literature but ...
GROUCHO MARX
Why, I'd horse-whip you if I had a horse.
GROUCHO MARX
I'm giving you 30 days to live.
GROUCHO MARX
She's afraid that if she leaves, she'll become the life of the party
GROUCHO MARX
Believe me, you have to get up early if you want to get out of bed
GROUCHO MARX
A woman is an occasional pleasure but a cigar is always a smoke.
GROUCHO MARX
And I want to thank you for all the enjoyment you've taken out of it.
GROUCHO MARX
Remember, we're fighting for this woman's honor, which is probably far more than she's ever done!
GROUCHO MARX
Hey, when I said work fast, I didn't mean your friend, I meant the maid.
GROUCHO MARX
Marriage is a wonderful institution...but who wants to live in an institution?
GROUCHO MARX
I have nothing but confidence in you, and very little of that
GROUCHO MARX
A man's only as old as the woman he feels.
GROUCHO MARX
Blood's not thicker than money
GROUCHO MARX
I didn't like the play, but then I saw it under adverse conditions - the curtain was up.
GROUCHO MARX
Marry me and I'll never look at another horse!
GROUCHO MARX
The only real laughter comes from despair.
GROUCHO MARX
Q: What do you get when you cross an insomniac, an agnostic, and a dyslexic?
A: Someone who stay...
GROUCHO MARX
Either this man is dead or my watch has stopped.
GROUCHO MARX
Outside of a dog, a man's best friend is a book. Inside of a dog, it's too dark to read.
GROUCHO MARX
Why a four-year-old child could understand this report. Run out and find me a four-year-old child. I...
GROUCHO MARX
I cannot say that I do not disagree with you
GROUCHO MARX
I would never belong to a group that would accept someone like me as a member.
GROUCHO MARX
Years ago, I tried to top everybody, but I don't anymore, I realized it was killing conversation. Wh...
GROUCHO MARX
Remember men, we're fighting for this woman's honor; which is probably more than she ever did.
GROUCHO MARX
I won't belong to any organization that would have me as a member
GROUCHO MARX
Did I ever tell you how I shot a wild elephant in my pyjamas? How he got into my pyjamas I'll never ...
GROUCHO MARX