Politics doesn't make strange bedfellows - marriage does.
Groucho Marx
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Politics doesn't make strange bedfellows, marriage does.
JACKIE MASON Politics doesn't make strange bedfellows, marriage does.
GROUCHO MARX Politics doesn't make strange bedfellows, marriage does
GROUCHO MARX Politics makes strange bedfellows.
CHARLES DUDLEY WARNER Politics makes strange bedfellows
CHARLES DUDLEY WARNER I was always a fan of Groucho Marx as a kid.
MICHAEL FELDMAN The only real laughter comes from despair.
GROUCHO MARX I’ll put off reading Lolita for six more years until she turns 18.
GROUCHO MARX The bedfellows politics made are never strange. It only seems that way to those who have not watched...
MARCEL ACHARD War makes strange bedfellows.
HELEN THOMAS Politics makes estranged bedfellows.
GOODMAN ACE The world would not be in such a snarl,/ had Marx been Groucho instead of Karl.
IRVING BERLIN The world would not be in such a snarl, had Marx been Groucho instead of Karl.
IRVING BERLIN As we've learned in 1941, national emergencies can create strange bedfellows.
DAN COATS Misery acquaints a man with strange bedfellows.
WILLIAM SHAKESPEARE Real politics is messy and morally ambiguous and doesn't make for a compelling thriller.
JAMES SUROWIECKI Politics makes strange bedfellows. I can see most of the Sunnis voting against this (charter), plus ...
DAVID MACK Well, Kaleb’s voice whispered in Nikita’s mind, it seems this will make strange bedfellows out o...
NALINI SINGH Marriage takes work - it doesn't just happen.
LARA STONE Straight couples don't have to be monogamous to be married or married to be monogamous. Monogamy...
DAN SAVAGE Up there with my awards, I have a great big statue of Groucho Marx, just to put everything in perspe...
JOHN LITHGOW Throughout my life, there are four people I've met who were truly original people. The other thr...
ALICE COOPER Other than marriage, she doesn't control me and I don't control her.
GAVYN DAVIES Uncertainty doesn't make life worth living, quite, but it does make striving and gambling worth ...
WALTER KIRN Just because you do not take an interest in politics doesn't mean politics won't take an int...
PERICLES My mother is a very strange woman... She doesn't understand me in the least and doesn't love...
EGON SCHIELE Prayer does not use up artificial energy, doesn't burn up any fossil fuel, doesn't pollute. ...
MARGARET MEAD Misery acquaints a man with strange bedfellows. -The Tempest. Act ii. Sc. 2.
WILLIAM SHAKESPEARE Disability doesn't make you exceptional, but questioning what you think you know about it does.
STELLA YOUNG Stupidity doesn't make you wise, it makes you stupid!
DEYTH BANGER Independence doesn't - doesn't equate to moderates. Millions of independents are pro-life. M...
GARY BAUER Lead yourself whenever your boss' leadership deteriorates. When your boss doesn't praise wha...
MARIO TEGUH Why there is word for "End"???, which mean why there is "End",...!?
(So far it doesn't ex...
DEYTH BANGER Don't look now, but there's one too many in this room and I think it's you
GROUCHO MARX Predicting rain doesn't count. Building arks does.
WARREN BUFFETT Good design doesn't date. Bad design does.
PAUL RAND Just because you say something doesn't make it controversial, and it doesn't make you a bad ...
CHARLES BARKLEY I have been doing marriage counseling for about 15 years and I realized that what makes one person f...
GARY CHAPMAN We've received a lot of funding from Democratic and Republican administrations. It makes for some st...
DAVID HOFFMAN A marriage doesn't have to be perfect, but you can be perfect for each other.
JESSICA SIMPSON Politics organizes our lives. We can't disregard it. Politics has lot of muck, lot of dirt. But ...
PAWAN KALYAN They make Spy Kids, they make Scream, they make A Scary Movie. This doesn't do that, so it could...
TERRY GILLIAM Europe will not accept genetically modified foods. It doesn't make any difference in the final a...
JEREMY RIFKIN Dust does rise, doesn't it? And so can I.
DIONNE WARWICK Life doesn't get easier but it does get funnier.
KATY MANNING The Exorcist doesn't get me, but The Omen does.
ETHAN EMBRY In this country, it doesn't make any difference where you were born. It doesn't make any dif...
ARNOLD SCHWARZENEGGER If I see a fashion show with literal influences, it doesn't make me think any more. It doesn'...
RAF SIMONS Spring Break is very strange. I grew up in France, so I don't know Spring Break. That doesn'...
ALEXANDRE AJA I was changing a light bulb over Groucho Marx's bed, so I took my shoes off, got on his bed and ...
ELLIOTT GOULD Don't be misled by those who claim God doesn't exist, because He does.
BILLY GRAHAM Sitting at the table doesn't make you a diner. You must be eating some of what's on that pla...
MALCOLM X A civil servant doesn't make jokes.
EUGENE IONESCO A rhyme doesn't make a song.
DOROTHY FIELDS Just because marriage didn't work for us doesn't mean we don't believe in the institutio...
SANDRA TSING LOH It's a lot of work to make a marriage work. Just because you have been married for a while doesn...
MALAIKA ARORA KHAN Money doesn't make people happy. People make people happy.
STEVE WYNN Everyone know is, soul does it or it doesn't exist it really doesn't matter. What does it matter is ...
DEYTH BANGER That's my prescription for a happy marriage - marry someone who doesn't do anything similar ...
MAXINE KUMIN Television doesn't like politics very well, if you can infer that from the way they cover it.
JACK GERMOND When you're in jail, a good friend will be trying to bail you out. A best friend will be in the cell...
LINDA KAGE I want a politics that doesn't need to pretend to be holy or perfect or infallible. I want a pol...
NICK HARKAWAY Just because it is not done your way, doesn't mean it is not right.
CHARMAINE J FORDE There's an inordinate amount of attention put on actors. Some people want to make their lives pu...
GRACE PARK Joy doesn't betray but sustains activism. And when you face a politics that aspires to make you ...
REBECCA SOLNIT The thing that made Groucho special was the way he used his body parts. He also had a wicked tongue....
SIDNEY SHELDON You have to want to be married to someone. You have to feel that reciprocated. Marriage for marriage...
ANNE HATHAWAY It doesn't use shading, but it does use stroke length variations.
JOHN ROBERT GREGG Having a million-dollar net worth doesn't make you a genius, and having less than a million-doll...
NAVAL RAVIKANT A 527 doesn't have a wife. It doesn't have a brother-in-law who knows a lot about politics, ...
ROGER STONE Dance music doesn't care where you live. It doesn't care who your friends are. It doesn'...
GIORGIO MORODER It's very strange that you condemn me as a terrorist at the same time as you call on me to help ...
WALID MUALLEM The secret of life is honesty and fair dealing. If you can fake that, you've got it made. Life is a ...
GROUCHO MARX Pretending that we live doesn't make us alive.
SERJ TANKIAN NBC programs great shows; it just doesn't have the eyeballs CBS does.
SEAN HAYES Liberty doesn't work as well in practice as it does in speeches.
WILL ROGERS What's the point in being an unpopular writer? It just doesn't make a lot of sense. For me i...
BRYCE COURTENAY Isn't it funny - why is it called a tennis bracelet? It doesn't seem very tennis, does it?
JOHN CAMERON MITCHELL For every person that doesn't like you, there's gonna be somebody who does.
LANCE GROSS There are many different ways of categorizing news. It doesn't have to be just war and famine an...
PIERS MORGAN An award doesn't necessarily make you a better actor.
JAVIER BARDEM I like that feeling of discombobulation that comes in creating an absurd world that doesn't make...
REGGIE WATTS Political conservatives need to recognize that multicultural politics is converging with leftist pol...
TOM TANCREDO The establishment in Britain is certainly against the arts and against education. If something doesn...
PETER MAXWELL DAVIES Politics and sports are the same thing in some ways. I like sports; I don't like the sports aspe...
HARI KONDABOLU The good parts are the people who don't make do. They're the interesting people. Lear doesn&...
PETER O'TOOLE Building a road might create temporary jobs, but does it really create wealth if it doesn't also...
MYRON SCHOLES A record deal doesn't make you an artist; you make yourself an artist.
LADY GAGA Adding 'just kidding' doesn't make it okay to insult the Principal.
NANCY CARTWRIGHT Politics makes strange postmasters.
KIN HUBBARD You are seeing some strange retail bedfellows. They may compete at some level, but they also bring s...
STAN POHMER The world doesn't need another clothing company. But it does need a certain funk.
ANDRE BENJAMIN The real achievement of Woody Allen was that he was making movies that felt very personal, and for a...
NOAH BAUMBACH Cooties, doesn't show possibility shows impossibility.
DEYTH BANGER The mankind doesn't deserv the title "KIND", after all they aren't kind they search ways to destroy ...
DEYTH BANGER It ends or it doesn't.
That’s what you say. That’s
how you get through it.
The tu...
CAITLYN SIEHL My boy, one small breeze doesn't make a wind storm.
JOHN MCGRAW Dylan doesn't have to make Blonde On Blonde every time.
WARREN ZEVON Publicity doesn't work for books. It really doesn't. All it does is get your name in front o...
KRISTINE KATHRYN RUSCH I have a weird life because I live on songwriting royalties, which are a strange income. Sometimes i...
JOE STRUMMER
More Groucho Marx
I remember the first time I had sex - I kept the receipt.
GROUCHO MARX The secret of life is honesty and fair dealing. If you can fake that, you've got it made.
GROUCHO MARX Behind every successful man is a woman, behind her is his wife.
GROUCHO MARX I refuse to join any club that would have me as a member.
GROUCHO MARX Well, Art is Art, isn't it? Still, on the other hand, water is water. And east is east and west ...
GROUCHO MARX I intend to live forever, or die trying.
GROUCHO MARX I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an exception.
GROUCHO MARX Either he's dead or my watch has stopped.
GROUCHO MARX I worked my way up from nothing to a state of extreme poverty.
GROUCHO MARX Who are you going to believe, me or your own eyes?
GROUCHO MARX Only one man in a thousand is a leader of men--the other 999 follow women.
GROUCHO MARX Politics doesn't make strange bedfellows, marriage does.
GROUCHO MARX One of the best hearing aids a man can have is an attentive wife.
GROUCHO MARX Wives are people who feel they don't dance enough.
GROUCHO MARX No man goes before his time -- unless the boss leaves early.
GROUCHO MARX Time flies like an arrow, fruit flies like a banana.
GROUCHO MARX The trouble with writing a book about yourself is that you can't fool around. If you write about som...
GROUCHO MARX Practically everybody in New York has half a mind to write a book, and does.
GROUCHO MARX From the moment I picked up your book until I laid it down, I was convulsed with laughter. Some day...
GROUCHO MARX The husband who wants a happy marriage should learn to keep his mouth shut and his checkbook open
GROUCHO MARX Just give me a comfortable couch, a dog, a good book, and a woman. Then if you can get the dog to go...
GROUCHO MARX I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and...
GROUCHO MARX I, not events, have the power to make me happy or unhappy today. I can choose which it shall be. Yes...
GROUCHO MARX I am so broke, I can't even afford to fill up my bicycle.
GROUCHO MARX How does the healthy dog bark? Ruff Ruff.
How does the cold dog bark ? Scarf Scarf.
How...
GROUCHO MARX I think it is good that books still exist, but they do make me sleepy.
GROUCHO MARX I have a new philosophy. I'm only going to dread one day at a time.
GROUCHO MARX Insurance is like marriage. You pay, pay, pay, and you never get anything back.
GROUCHO MARX Friends are chocolate chips in the cookie of life!
GROUCHO MARX What did the dog say after walking in the desert for hours? If I don't find a tree soon I'm gonna p...
GROUCHO MARX I'm a Nillionaire. I have little to no money!
GROUCHO MARX One of the great things about books is sometimes there are some fantastic pictures.
GROUCHO MARX If aliens saw us walking our dogs and picking up their poop, who would they think is in charge?
GROUCHO MARX A child of five could understand this. Send someone to fetch a child of five.
GROUCHO MARX I've had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn't it.
GROUCHO MARX When you're in jail, a good friend will be trying to bail you out. A best friend will be in the cell...
GROUCHO MARX Blessed are the cracked, for they shall let in the light.
GROUCHO MARX Military intelligence is a contradiction in terms.
GROUCHO MARX I worked myself up from nothing to extreme poverty.
GROUCHO MARX Look at me. I worked my way up from nothing to a state of extreme poverty.
GROUCHO MARX Please accept my resignation. I don't care to belong to any club that will have me as a member.
GROUCHO MARX If you've heard this story before, don't stop me, because I'd like to hear it again.
GROUCHO MARX Although it is generally known, I think it's about time to announce that I was born at a very early ...
GROUCHO MARX I won't belong to any organization that would have me as a member.
GROUCHO MARX I never forget a face, but in your case I'll make an exception.
GROUCHO MARX There is one way to find out if a man is honest; ask him! If he says yes you know he's crooked.
GROUCHO MARX There is no sweeter sound than the crumbling of ones fellow man.
GROUCHO MARX I eat like a vulture. Unfortunately the resemblance doesn't end there.
GROUCHO MARX Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog it's too dark to read.
GROUCHO MARX Paying alimony is like feeding hay to a dead horse.
GROUCHO MARX I did toy with the idea of doing a cook-book. The recipes were to be the routine ones: how to make d...
GROUCHO MARX A clown is like aspirin, only he works twice as fast.
GROUCHO MARX I'm leaving because the weather is too good. I hate London when it's not raining.
GROUCHO MARX My mother loved children--she would have given anything if I had been one.
GROUCHO MARX Whoever named it necking is a poor judge of anatomy.
GROUCHO MARX No man goes before his time / unless the boss leaves early.
GROUCHO MARX The secret of life is honesty and fair dealing. If you can fake that, you've got it made. Life is a ...
GROUCHO MARX Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it, misdiagnosing it, and then misapplying the w...
GROUCHO MARX No one is completely unhappy at the failure of his best friend.
GROUCHO MARX While money can't buy happiness, it certainly lets you choose your own form of misery.
GROUCHO MARX I find television very educational. Every time someone switches it on I go into another room and rea...
GROUCHO MARX If you've heard this story before, don't stop me, because I'd like to hear it again.
GROUCHO MARX The first thing which I can record concerning myself is, that I was born. These are wonderful words....
GROUCHO MARX Alimony is like buying hay for a dead horse.
GROUCHO MARX I don't care to belong to a club that accepts people like me as members.
GROUCHO MARX Man does not control his own fate. The women in his life do that for him.
GROUCHO MARX Anyone who says he can see through women is missing a lot.
GROUCHO MARX Next time I see you, remind me not to talk to you.
GROUCHO MARX In Hollywood, brides keep the bouquets and throw away the groom.
GROUCHO MARX I must confess, I was born at a very early age.
GROUCHO MARX I have a mind to join a club and beat you over the head with it.
GROUCHO MARX She got her looks from her father. He's a plastic surgeon.
GROUCHO MARX I'm not feeling very well - I need a doctor immediately. Ring the nearest golf course.
GROUCHO MARX A hospital bed is a parked taxi with the meter running.
GROUCHO MARX Marriage is a wonderful institution, but who wants to live in an institution?
GROUCHO MARX All people are born alike - except Republicans and Democrats.
GROUCHO MARX From the moment I picked your book up until I laid it down, I was convulsed with laughter. Someday I...
GROUCHO MARX I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn't it.
GROUCHO MARX Before I speak, I have something important to say.
GROUCHO MARX Outside of a dog, a book is a man's best friend. Inside of a dog it's too dark to read.
GROUCHO MARX I didn't like the play, but then I saw it under adverse conditions - the curtain was up.
GROUCHO MARX Getting older is no problem. You just have to live long enough.
GROUCHO MARX Quote me as saying I was mis-quoted.
GROUCHO MARX A black cat crossing your path signifies that the animal is going somewhere.
GROUCHO MARX I won't belong to any organization that would have me as a member.
GROUCHO MARX Please accept my resignation. I don't care to belong to any club that will have me as a member.
GROUCHO MARX No man goes before his time - unless the boss leaves early.
GROUCHO MARX I'm leaving because the weather is too good. I hate London when it's not raining.
GROUCHO MARX Humor is reason gone mad.
GROUCHO MARX One morning I shot an elephant in my pajamas. How he got into my pajamas I'll never know.
GROUCHO MARX Those are my principles, and if you don't like them... well, I have others.
GROUCHO MARX I wish to be cremated. One tenth of my ashes shall be given to my agent, as written in our contract.
GROUCHO MARX I have had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn't it.
GROUCHO MARX I've got a good mind to go out and join a club and beat you over the head with it.
GROUCHO MARX I have nothing but respect for you -- and not much of that.
GROUCHO MARX He may look like an idiot and talk like an idiot but don't let that fool you. He really is an idiot.
GROUCHO MARX I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.
GROUCHO MARX I, not events, have the power to make me happy or unhappy today. I can choose which it shall be. Yes...
GROUCHO MARX Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it everywhere, diagnosing it incorrectly and app...
GROUCHO MARX I've got the brain of a four year old. I'll bet he was glad to be rid of it.
GROUCHO MARX Hollywood brides keep the bouquets and throw away the grooms.
GROUCHO MARX Please accept my resignation. I don't care to belong to any club that will have me as a member.
GROUCHO MARX I don’t have a photograph, but you can have my footprints. They’re upstairs in my socks.
GROUCHO MARX Whoever named it necking was a poor judge of anatomy.
GROUCHO MARX All geniuses die young.
GROUCHO MARX There's one way to find out if a man is honest - ask him. If he says, 'Yes,' you know he...
GROUCHO MARX I read in the newspapers they are going to have 30 minutes of intellectual stuff on television every...
GROUCHO MARX We in the industry know that behind every successful screenwriter stands a woman. And behind her sta...
GROUCHO MARX I find television very educational. The minute somebody turns it on, I go to the library and read a ...
GROUCHO MARX She got her good looks from her father. He's a plastic surgeon.
GROUCHO MARX The husband who wants a happy marriage should learn to keep his mouth shut and his checkbook open.
GROUCHO MARX I do not care to belong to a club that accepts people like me as members.
GROUCHO MARX No one is completely unhappy at the failure of his best friend.
GROUCHO MARX My mother loved children - she would have given anything if I had been one.
GROUCHO MARX There is no sweeter sound than the crumbling of one's fellow man.
GROUCHO MARX She's afraid that if she leaves, she'll become the live of the party.
GROUCHO MARX I'd horsewhip you if I had a horse.
GROUCHO MARX In America you can go on the air and kid the politicians, and the politicians can go on the air and ...
GROUCHO MARX Practically everybody in New York has half a mind to write a book -and does
GROUCHO MARX From the moment I picked your book up until I laid it down I was convulsed with laughter. Some day I...
GROUCHO MARX Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
GROUCHO MARX Those are my principles, and if you don't like them... well, I have others.
GROUCHO MARX There's one way to find out if a man is honest-ask him. If he says, "Yes," you know he is a crook.
GROUCHO MARX She got her looks from her father. He's a plastic surgeon.
GROUCHO MARX Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog it's too dark to read.
GROUCHO MARX Money frees you from doing things you dislike. Since I dislike doing nearly everything, money is han...
GROUCHO MARX Military justice is to justice what military music is to music.
GROUCHO MARX It isn't necessary to have relatives in Kansas City in order to be unhappy.
GROUCHO MARX I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn't it.
GROUCHO MARX I sent the club a wire stating, PLEASE ACCEPT MY RESIGNATION. I DON'T WANT TO BELONG TO ANY CLUB THA...
GROUCHO MARX I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an exception.
GROUCHO MARX I could dance with you until the cows come home. On second thought I'd rather dance with the cows ...
GROUCHO MARX Go, and never darken my towels again.
GROUCHO MARX From the moment I picked up your book until I laid it down, I was convulsed with laughter. Some day ...
GROUCHO MARX Either this man is dead or my watch has stopped.
GROUCHO MARX Age is not a particularly interesting subject. Anyone can get old. All you have to do is live long e...
GROUCHO MARX My mother loved children -- she would have given anything if I had been one.
GROUCHO MARX A child of five would understand this. Send someone to fetch a child of five.
GROUCHO MARX We dont like their sound, and guitar music is on the way out. Well, art is art, isnt it? Still, on t...
GROUCHO MARX I don't have a photograph, but you can have my footprints. They're upstairs in my socks.
GROUCHO MARX Women should be obscene and not heard.
GROUCHO MARX Please accept my resignation. I don't want to belong to any club
that will accept me as a member.
GROUCHO MARX Wives are people who feel they don't dance enough
GROUCHO MARX I was going to thrash them within an inch of their lives, but I didn't have a tape measure
GROUCHO MARX The secret of success is honesty and fair dealing. If you can fake those, you’ve got it made.”
GROUCHO MARX Why should I care about posterity? What's posterity ever done for me?
GROUCHO MARX My favourite poem is the one that starts 'Thirty days hath September' because it actually tells you ...
GROUCHO MARX My favourite poem is the one that starts 'Thirty days hath September' because it actually te...
GROUCHO MARX Love flies out the door when money comes innuendo.
GROUCHO MARX If income tax is the price you have to pay to keep the government on its feet, alimony is the price ...
GROUCHO MARX Don’t ever underestimate the importance of money. I know it’s often been said that money won’t...
GROUCHO MARX I must say I find television very educational. The minute somebody turns it on, I go to the library ...
GROUCHO MARX You've got the brain of a four-year-old boy, and I bet he was glad to get rid of it
GROUCHO MARX Wives are people who feel they don't dance enough.
GROUCHO MARX Outside of a dog, a book is a man's best friend. inside of a dog, it's too dark to read.
GROUCHO MARX [When Judy Garland lost the 1954 best actress Oscar to Grace Kelly in] The Country Girl, ... Dear Ju...
GROUCHO MARX I was so long writing my review that I never got around to reading the book.
GROUCHO MARX Politics doesn't make strange bedfellows, marriage does
GROUCHO MARX Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana
GROUCHO MARX Money will not make you happy, and happy will not make you money
GROUCHO MARX Only one man in a thousand is a leader of men, the other 999 follow women
GROUCHO MARX A man is only as old as the woman he feels.
GROUCHO MARX Here's to our wives and girlfriends...may they never meet!
GROUCHO MARX Some people claim that marriage interferes with romance. There's no doubt about it. Anytime you have...
GROUCHO MARX If a black cat crosses your path, it signifies that the animal is going somewhere.
GROUCHO MARX Yesterday is dead, tomorrow hasn't arrived yet. I have just one day, and I'm going to be happy in it...
GROUCHO MARX I'm not crazy about reality, but it's still the only place to get a decent meal.
GROUCHO MARX If you're not having fun, you're doing something wrong.
GROUCHO MARX One morning I shot an elephant in my pajamas. How he got in my pajamas I'll never know.
GROUCHO MARX Those are my principles, and if you don't like them...well I have others.
GROUCHO MARX Learn from the mistakes of others. You can never live long enough to make them all yourself.
GROUCHO MARX From the moment I picked up your book until I put it down, I was convulsed with laughter. Some day I...
GROUCHO MARX It isn't necessary to have relatives in Kansas City in order to be unhappy.
GROUCHO MARX Please accept my resignation. I don't want to belong to any club that will accept me as a member
GROUCHO MARX I did toy with the idea of doing a cook-book. . . . I think a lot of people who hate literature but ...
GROUCHO MARX Why, I'd horse-whip you if I had a horse.
GROUCHO MARX I'm giving you 30 days to live.
GROUCHO MARX She's afraid that if she leaves, she'll become the life of the party
GROUCHO MARX Believe me, you have to get up early if you want to get out of bed
GROUCHO MARX A woman is an occasional pleasure but a cigar is always a smoke.
GROUCHO MARX And I want to thank you for all the enjoyment you've taken out of it.
GROUCHO MARX Remember, we're fighting for this woman's honor, which is probably far more than she's ever done!
GROUCHO MARX Hey, when I said work fast, I didn't mean your friend, I meant the maid.
GROUCHO MARX Marriage is a wonderful institution...but who wants to live in an institution?
GROUCHO MARX I have nothing but confidence in you, and very little of that
GROUCHO MARX A man's only as old as the woman he feels.
GROUCHO MARX Blood's not thicker than money
GROUCHO MARX I didn't like the play, but then I saw it under adverse conditions - the curtain was up.
GROUCHO MARX Marry me and I'll never look at another horse!
GROUCHO MARX The only real laughter comes from despair.
GROUCHO MARX Q: What do you get when you cross an insomniac, an agnostic, and a dyslexic?
A: Someone who stay...
GROUCHO MARX Either this man is dead
or my watch has stopped.
GROUCHO MARX Outside of a dog, a man's best friend is a book. Inside of a dog, it's too dark to read.
GROUCHO MARX Why a four-year-old child could understand this report. Run out and find me a four-year-old child. I...
GROUCHO MARX I cannot say that I do not disagree with you
GROUCHO MARX I would never belong to a group that would accept someone like me as a member.
GROUCHO MARX Years ago, I tried to top everybody, but I don't anymore, I realized it was killing conversation. Wh...
GROUCHO MARX Remember men, we're fighting for this woman's honor; which is probably more than she ever did.
GROUCHO MARX I won't belong to any organization that would have me as a member
GROUCHO MARX Did I ever tell you how I shot a wild elephant in my pyjamas? How he got into my pyjamas I'll never ...
GROUCHO MARX