Quilty grimaces. “I don’t like what comes after ‘dicker.’ ” “What is that?” Quilty sighs. “Dickest. I mean, really: it’s not a contest!

If you record the world honestly, there's no way people can stop being funny. A lot of fiction writing doesn't get that idea, as if to acknowledge it would trivialize the story or trivialize human nature, when in fact human nature is reduced and falsified if the comic aspects are not included.

I don't sit down to write a funny story. Every single thing I sit down to write is meant to be sad.

You know, I'm just a very boring, not very funny person in person. I don't feel pressured to be otherwise.

Decide that you like college life. In your dorm you meet many nice people. Some are smarter than you. And some, you notice, are dumber than you. You will continue, unfortunately, to view the world in exactly these terms for the rest of your life.

She knew there were only small joys in life--the big ones were too complicated to be joys when you got all through--and once you realized that, it took a lot of the pressure off.