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Real scratching is superior to masturbation, in my opinion.

Samuel Beckett

Samuel Beckett

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Real scratching is superior to masturbation, in my opinion. One can masturbate up to the age of seventy, and even beyond, but in the end it becomes a mere habit. Whereas to scratch myself properly I would have needed a dozen hands. I itched all over, on the privates, in the bush up to the navel, under the arms, in the arse, and then patches of eczema and psoriasis that I could set raging merely by thinking of them. It was in the arse I had the most pleasure, I stuck in my forefinger up to the knuckle. Later, if I had to shit, the pain was atrocious. But I hardly shat any more.
— Samuel Beckett
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POZZO:
I am blind.
(Silence.)
ESTRAGON:
Perhaps he can see into the future.
— Samuel Beckett
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I can't go on, I'll go on.
— Samuel Beckett
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Remember how it felt yesterday? What you saw me do?” I snorted and grinned. “Man, do I ever. I remembered twice last night and again this morning.
— Missy Welsh
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Today I will masterbate!

Okay, that was a mistake. I should have written "Today I will masterbate--if I want to!
— Al Franken
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