Scientists have calculated that the chances of something so patently absurd actually existing are millions to one.
But magicians have calculated that million-to-one chances crop up nine times out of ten.


Terry Pratchett

  Email Quote to Friends   Link to Quote   Create Short URL  Publish Text About This Quote   Share on Facebook, Twitter, and more
  See Recommended Quotes For You

Related

Million-to-one chances...crop up nine times out of ten.
TERRY PRATCHETT
I was like, 'I can't believed I missed that.' It was a one-in-a-million that I'd miss that. That goa...
ALEX GUERRERO
Rory: "People are being serious."

Jazza: "There's a serial killer out there. Of course pe...
MAUREEN JOHNSON
I just think it's patently absurd for scientists to categorize objects on the basis of the numbe...
ALAN STERN
No second chances in the land of a thousand dances, the valley of ten million insanities.
RY COODER
I think I need divine intervention to win a game, because this one was a clear-cut winner for us. We...
DANNY LYN
The cynics are right nine times out of ten.
H. L. MENCKEN
The cynics are right nine times out of ten.
HENRY LOUIS MENCKEN
Life is a series of calculated risks, James. I happen to think that this one is worth it.
LISH MCBRIDE
Even if he has a pair of aces there, I still have nine outs twice (two chances to catch one of the n...
RON ROSE
Sadly for one million children, their future chances are wrecked by bad housing.
BEN JACKSON
Words calculated to catch everyone may catch no one.
ADLAI E. STEVENSON JR.
The chances are greater than zero, but not much. Regardless of who's asking for an injunction, the c...
WILLIAM KOVACIC
Every one in a crowd has the power to throw dirt: nine out of ten have the inclination
WILLIAM HAZLITT
That was a tough one. But there are no excuses. We had chances and they had chances, but they just c...
CAM WARD
The chances of a person breaking through their own habits and sloth and limited mind to actually wri...
GEORGE SAUNDERS
(Scott) has a strong desire to score. He's a very good one-on-one player and we've noticed that we'v...
JEFF LENHERR
Most sane human beings’ chances of being alive in a thousand years’ time are a hundred times hig...
MOKOKOMA MOKHONOANA
In matters of truth the fact that you don't want to publish something is, nine times out of ten, a p...
G. K. CHESTERTON
Nobody wants to look like a fool. Nine times out of ten, that
reason alone keeps people from al...
DARYNDA JONES
The sad reality is that groups have already interacted by insulting each other's religions. In most ...
ANDREW WALSH
Food Allergies Are Not Due to Food, Rather Are Due to the Constant Contamination of That Food That Y...
THEHEALTHFOODGURU
We've won nine of the last 11, so I like our chances.
ERIC DIBIASE
Be nice to nerds. Chances are you'll end up working for one.
BILL GATES
In matters of truth the fact that you don't want to publish something is, nine times out of ten,...
GILBERT K. CHESTERTON
Transit is the tough one. You could argue that something could survive tens of thousands of years of...
CATHARINE CONLEY
I generally find that comparison is the fast track to unhappiness. No one ever compares themselves t...
JACK CANFIELD
You have to know how to read your lie and take a calculated risk when you hit out of the rough.
ERNIE ELS
Some days, I am as evil as evil gets but nine out of ten times; it is good that ends up winning the ...
ENRIQUE VEGA
When I was young I observed that nine out of every ten things I did were failures, so I did ten time...
GEORGE BERNARD SHAW
When I was young I observed that nine out of every ten things I did were failures, so I did ten time...
GEORGE BERNARD SHAW
We had our chances to take them out. Everything ended up hanging on one play.
LYNDELL ZANOTTI
I know grand finals are one-off games and you have to make the most of the few chances that may come...
BEN GOLLINGS
We are as gods to beasts of the field. We order the time of their birth and the time of their death....
TERRY PRATCHETT
You have a new rule system which is so calculated, so difficult and so complicated.
DICK BUTTON
I won't forget it. That's the first time I got the chance to do something like that, and I messed up...
ISAIAH SWANN
Life gives you lots of chances to screw up which means you have just as many chances to get it right...
CANDACE BUSHNELL
The chances that we did have, we didn't finish them. They had three chances and they went in. Every ...
AMANDA MELCHOR
I think you can have moderate success by copying something else, but if you really want to knock it ...
LEE ANN WOMACK
All I ever did to that apartment was hang fifty yards of yellow theatrical silk across the bedroom w...
JOAN DIDION
We can never make proper goodbyes. It was your last ride in a Checker cab and you had no warning. It...
COLSON WHITEHEAD
People who calculated what they could afford when rates were 5.25 percent have realized their mortga...
ANTHONY HSIEH
Our lives!!! We have just all of a sudden discovered that here we are with something called life see...
SUNDAY ADELAJA
You're actually close. You just have to get back to the bargaining table, negotiate in good faith, c...
GIL MCGOWAN
I'm all about taking chances. You have to ask yourself, if you're not taking any chances, ar...
CEELO GREEN
There's millions of survivors out there; make it one million and one.
TOM HANKS
I think the mistake lots of people make when it comes to a psychopath is that they completely write ...
JAMES NORTON
The opportunities of man are limited only by his imagination. But so few have imagination that there...
CHARLES FRANKLIN KETTERING
The opportunities of man are limited only by his imagination. But so few have imagination that there...
CHARLES KETTERING
The opportunities of man are limited only by his imagination. But so few have imagination that there...
CHARLES F. KETTERING
Out of every one hundred men, ten shouldn't even be there, eighty are just targets, nine are the rea...
HERACLITUS
the false reports are, of course, calculated to do the agency severe harm.
WILLIAM MORRIS
In nine times out of ten, the slanderous tongue belongs to a disappointed person.
GEORGE BANCROFT
Computers are very powerful tools, but in the simulated world of the computer, everything has to be ...
MARGARET WERTHEIM
People want to be bowled over by something special. Nine times out of ten you can forget, but that t...
HARUKI MURAKAMI
The more times people try to stop smoking, the better chances they have of eventually stopping it al...
KAREN STEINBERG
I think most astronauts are not risk takers. We take calculated risks for something that we think is...
MICHAEL J. MASSIMINO
Calculated risks of abuse are taken in order to preserve higher values.
WARREN EARL BURGER
Calculated risks of abuse are taken in order to preserve higher values.
WARREN E. BURGER
Calculated risks of abuse are taken in order to preserve higher values.
WARREN E. BURGER
We are playing well and creating chances but can't get that second goal. But sometimes one is enough...
HARRY KEWELL
It's a carefully calculated effort on the part of the people that manatees are in the way of.
PATTI THOMPSON
What are your thoughts on Dundee's promotion chances? That is a million miles away.
ALAN KERNAGHAN
This is one of the last chances we have. The reports of the text messages, you'd like to believe the...
ROSETTE LERIAS
When I was a young man I observed that nine out of ten things I did were failures. I didn't want to ...
GEORGE BERNARD SHAW
We battled away at times, but we are not creating chances and that is very disappointing,
ALAN SHEARER
I believe in instinct, not in reason. When reason is right, nine times out of ten it is impotent, an...
A. C. BENSON
Often the difference between a successful person and a failure is not one has better abilities or id...
ANDRE MALRAUX
I've been working harder. All of us have been working harder. After this one, there are no more chan...
LANCE BUTLER
I don't play with my life by talking bullshit.
I might have some chances in this bitchy life, TOBA BETA
But that's a calculated guess.
MEL RULL
I have a hard time listening to things I've recorded. I don't necessarily go back and enjoy ...
BRIAN D'ARCY JAMES
There are just so many good players in town now that it's almost a disservice to have only one team....
JUSTIN CHANDLER
The recovery effort is one that's going to require three to five years at a minimum, and the agencie...
JIM BISHOP
At the moment, the chances of passing this package in one go look slim. Efforts are being invested t...
LIOR HOREV
Often the difference between a successful person and a failure is not one has better abilities or id...
MAXWELL MALTZ
Often the difference between a successful person and a failure is not one has better abilities or id...
ANDRE MALRAUX
We don't have a lot of guys that have been deep in the postseason. (But) Richard is one of those guy...
BEN BRAUN
O, the sheer magnificence of words that come together like waves upon a beach, each telling its own ...
JOHN M SHEEHAN
The recent surge in fuel prices and Delta's disclosure that it will have to post 750 million dollars...
PHILIP BAGGALEY
A lifetime isn't forever, so take the first chance, don't wait for the second one! Because sometimes...
C. JOYBELL C.
Our being is subject to all the chances of life. There are so many things we are capable of, that we...
KATHERINE ANNE PORTER
I’m not ashamed to admit that I take only calculated risk. Still, there’s been times my little a...
BOBBY W. MILLER
Writers and musicians are very similar in that the chances of making a life in either field are so i...
STACEY D'ERASMO
I pretty much have to try and make the best of it when I get on the field or have the ball. I've jus...
DARREN SPROLES
I was getting myself into good shape and knew that I had my chances with a couple of par fives comin...
MARK JOHNSON
Nine times out of ten, talking is a way of avoiding doing things.
PATRICIA C. WREDE
I've never been reckless - it's always calculated. I'm mischievous, but I'm calculat...
DRAKE
First of all, the chances that both guys are there (at the 13th pick) is virtually nonexistent. The ...
ERIC DECOSTA
Often the difference between a successful man and a failure is not one's better abilities or ide...
MAXWELL MALTZ
No one knows that a simple and calculated decision for the one with potential, is the final end of t...
KATE
When you have a guy like Breuer, chances are he'll get at least one goal a game.
FRANK SPURCHISE
We had our chances. We could have won. But one mistake in overtime won it for them.
JACQUES LEMAIRE
You will see that the defendant is nothing but a cold, calculated, callous murderer,
TOM O'CONNOR
Poverty is uncomfortable; but nine times out of ten the best thing that can happen to a young man is...
JAMES A. GARFIELD
seem almost calculated to disappoint.
GEORGE WORTHINGTON
Mark My Words, My Words In Other Words Are Not Just Words.
SYED SHARUKH
We must have courage to bet on our ideas, to take the calculated risk, and to act.
MAXWELL MALTZ
What finally is beauty? Certainly nothing that can be calculated or measured. It is always something...
LUDWIG MIES VAN DER ROHE
This is what analysts have calculated. It's a number that's out there and we're not arguing with it.
DAVID KIRK

More Terry Pratchett

They say a little knowledge is a dangerous thing, but it's not one half so bad as a lot of ignor...
TERRY PRATCHETT
In all seriousness, people think that it's the ideas that are important. Well, everyone has idea...
TERRY PRATCHETT
I do not, in fact, use many puns. Certainly there are far fewer than people believe. But I suspect t...
TERRY PRATCHETT
Open your eyes and then open your eyes again.
TERRY PRATCHETT
A good plan isn't one where someone wins, it's where nobody thinks they've lost.
TERRY PRATCHETT
The reason that the rich were so rich, Vimes reasoned, was because they managed to spend less money....
TERRY PRATCHETT
Night poured over the desert. It came suddenly, in purple. In the clear air, the stars drilled down ...
TERRY PRATCHETT
Chaos is found in greatest abundance wherever order is being sought. It always defeats order, becaus...
TERRY PRATCHETT
She was already learning that if you ignore the rules people will, half the time, quietly rewrite th...
TERRY PRATCHETT
The trouble was that he was talking in philosophy but they were listening in gibberish.
TERRY PRATCHETT
It is a long-cherished tradition among a certain type of military thinker that huge casualties are t...
TERRY PRATCHETT
I don't want unnecessary violence, sergeant," said Blouse.
"Right you are, sir!" said the serge...
TERRY PRATCHETT
This is Art holding a Mirror up to Life. That’s why everything is exactly the wrong way around.
TERRY PRATCHETT
I intend, before the endgame looms, to die sitting in a chair in my own garden with a glass of brand...
TERRY PRATCHETT
The three rules of the Librarians of Time and Space are: 1) Silence; 2) Books must be returned no la...
TERRY PRATCHETT
They stole from rich merchants and temples and kings. They didn't steal from poor people; this was n...
TERRY PRATCHETT
William: "I'm sure we can all pull together, sir."
Vetinari: "Oh, I do hope not. Pulling togeth...
TERRY PRATCHETT
The universe, they said, depended for its operation on the balance of four forces which they identif...
TERRY PRATCHETT
I meant," said Ipslore bitterly, "what is there in this world that truly makes living worthwhile?" TERRY PRATCHETT If cats looked like frogs we'd realize what nasty, cruel little bastards they are. Style. That's wha...
TERRY PRATCHETT
The place where the story happened was a world on the back of four elephants perched on the s...
TERRY PRATCHETT
If you trust in yourself. . .and believe in your dreams. . .and follow your star. . . you'll still g...
TERRY PRATCHETT
If you stopped tellin' people it's all sorted out after they're dead, they might try sorting it all ...
TERRY PRATCHETT
The trouble with having an open mind, of course, is that people will insist on coming along and tryi...
TERRY PRATCHETT
Do you think it's possible for an entire nation to be insane?
TERRY PRATCHETT
Did I do anything last night that suggested I was sane?
TERRY PRATCHETT
It would seem that you have no useful skill or talent whatsoever," he said. "Have you thought of goi...
TERRY PRATCHETT
If complete and utter chaos was lightning, then he'd be the sort to stand on a hilltop in a thunders...
TERRY PRATCHETT
In the beginning there was nothing, which exploded.
TERRY PRATCHETT
Time is a drug. Too much of it kills you.
TERRY PRATCHETT
Few religions are definite about the size of Heaven, but on the planet Earth the Book of Revelation ...
TERRY PRATCHETT
It's a terrible thing for a man when his woman gangs up on him wi' a toad
TERRY PRATCHETT
God does not play dice with the universe; He plays an ineffable game of His own devising, which migh...
TERRY PRATCHETT
Light thinks it travels faster than anything but it is wrong. No matter how fast light travels, it f...
TERRY PRATCHETT
All right," said Susan. "I'm not stupid. You're saying humans need... fantasies to make life ...
TERRY PRATCHETT
Grinning like a necrophiliac in a morgue.
TERRY PRATCHETT
Getting an education was a bit like a communicable sexual disease. It made you unsuitable for a lot ...
TERRY PRATCHETT
HUMAN BEINGS MAKE LIFE SO INTERESTING. DO YOU KNOW, THAT IN A UNIVERSE SO FULL OF WONDERS, THEY HAVE...
TERRY PRATCHETT
There are times in life when people must know when not to let go. Balloons are designed to teach sma...
TERRY PRATCHETT
The female mind is certainly a devious one, my lord."
Vetinari looked at his secretary in surp...
TERRY PRATCHETT
[And there was the matter of Dick Turpin. It looked like the same car, except that forever afterward...
TERRY PRATCHETT
Stories of imagination tend to upset those without one.
TERRY PRATCHETT
Noble dragons don't have friends. The nearest they can get to the idea is an enemy who is still aliv...
TERRY PRATCHETT
You can't map a sense of humor. Anyway, what is a fantasy map but a space beyond which There Be Drag...
TERRY PRATCHETT
A European says: I can't understand this, what's wrong with me? An American says: I can't understand...
TERRY PRATCHETT
Whatever happens, they say afterwards, it must have been fate. People are always a little confused a...
TERRY PRATCHETT
Witches are naturally nosy,” said Miss Tick, standing up. “Well, I must go. I hope we shall meet...
TERRY PRATCHETT
I'll be more enthusiastic about encouraging thinking outside the box when there's evidence of any th...
TERRY PRATCHETT
It's still magic even if you know how it's done.
TERRY PRATCHETT
Why do you go away? So that you can come back. So that you can see the place you came from with new ...
TERRY PRATCHETT
If you do not know where you come from, then you don't know where you are, and if you don't know whe...
TERRY PRATCHETT
Most of the great triumphs and tragedies of history are caused not by people being fundamentally goo...
TERRY PRATCHETT
There are, it has been said, two types of people in the world. There are those who, when presented w...
TERRY PRATCHETT
Sometimes the gods have no taste at all. They allow sunrises and sunsets in ridiculous pink and blue...
TERRY PRATCHETT
I meant, said Ipslore bitterly, what is there in this world that truly makes living worth while? Dea...
TERRY PRATCHETT
Only in our dreams are we free. The rest of the time we need wages.
TERRY PRATCHETT
It's not enough to be able to pick up a sword. You have to know which end to poke into the enemy.
TERRY PRATCHETT
’I'd have you lot up in front of the University authorities first thing in the morning, if it wasn...
TERRY PRATCHETT
Taxation is just a sophisticated way of demanding money with menaces
TERRY PRATCHETT
It's lies. It's all lies. Some of them are just prettier than others, that's all. People see what th...
TERRY PRATCHETT
One of the universal rules of happiness is: always be wary of any helpful item that weighs less than...
TERRY PRATCHETT
It's not worth doing something unless someone, somewhere, would much rather you weren't doing it.
TERRY PRATCHETT
Wisdom comes from experience. Experience is often a result of lack of wisdom.
TERRY PRATCHETT
This book had two authors, and they were both the same person.
TERRY PRATCHETT
If you don't know when to be a human being, you don't know when to be a witch.
TERRY PRATCHETT
Knowing things is magical, if other people don't know them.
TERRY PRATCHETT
Even if it's not your fault, it's your responsibility.
TERRY PRATCHETT
...inside every old person is a young person wondering what happened.
TERRY PRATCHETT
We who think we are about to die will laugh at anything.
TERRY PRATCHETT
His philosophy was a mixture of three famous schools -- the Cynics, the Stoics and the Epicureans --...
TERRY PRATCHETT
Coming back to where you started is not the same as never leaving.
TERRY PRATCHETT
Real stupidity beats artificial intelligence every time.
TERRY PRATCHETT
DON'T THINK OF IT AS DYING, said Death. JUST THINK OF IT AS LEAVING EARLY TO AVOID THE RUSH.
TERRY PRATCHETT
It is said that your life flashes before your eyes just before you die. That is true, it's called Li...
TERRY PRATCHETT
Some humans would do anything to see if it was possible to do it. If you put a large switch in some ...
TERRY PRATCHETT
Give a man a fire and he's warm for a day, but set fire to him and he's warm for the rest of his lif...
TERRY PRATCHETT
Racism was not a problem on the Discworld, because—what with trolls and dwarfs and so on—species...
TERRY PRATCHETT
Something Vimes had learned as a young guard drifted up from memory. If you have to look alon...
TERRY PRATCHETT
Fantasy is an exercise bicycle for the mind. It might not take you anywhere, but it tones up the mus...
TERRY PRATCHETT
Evil begins when you begin to treat people as things.
TERRY PRATCHETT
To be a star, you must shine your own light, follow your own path, and don't worry about the darknes...
TERRY PRATCHETT
Famous I don't know about. It's hard to be famous and alive. I just want to play music every day and...
TERRY PRATCHETT
No, what he didn't like about heroes was that they were usually suicidally gloomy when sober and hom...
TERRY PRATCHETT
"I meant," said Ipslore bitterly, "what is there in this world that truly makes living worthwhile?"<...
TERRY PRATCHETT
Most species do their own evolving, making it up as they go along, which is the way Nature intended....
TERRY PRATCHETT
I think when people mean that Discworld books have become darker they really mean the series is grow...
TERRY PRATCHETT
I must have read every issue of 'Punch' published in the 20th century, and I think in the pr...
TERRY PRATCHETT
Opera happens because a large number of things amazingly fail to go wrong.
TERRY PRATCHETT
There was once a caustic comment from someone suggesting I was breeding a new race. Fans from differ...
TERRY PRATCHETT
It seems that when you have cancer you are a brave battler against the disease, but when you have Al...
TERRY PRATCHETT
It occurred to me that at one point it was like I had two diseases - one was Alzheimer's, and th...
TERRY PRATCHETT
By the time you've reached your sixties, you do know that one day you will die, and knowing that...
TERRY PRATCHETT
It seems sensible to me that we should look to the medical profession, that over the centuries has h...
TERRY PRATCHETT
Everything starts somewhere, although many physicists disagree.
TERRY PRATCHETT
You have to have really wide reading habits and pay attention to the news and just everything that&#...
TERRY PRATCHETT
The truth may be out there, but lies are inside your head.
TERRY PRATCHETT
Five exclamation marks, the sure sign of an insane mind.
TERRY PRATCHETT
You can't trample infidels when you're a tortoise. I mean, all you could do is give them a m...
TERRY PRATCHETT
I'll be more enthusiastic about encouraging thinking outside the box when there's evidence o...
TERRY PRATCHETT
Over the centuries, mankind has tried many ways of combating the forces of evil... prayer, fasting, ...
TERRY PRATCHETT
Taxation is just a sophisticated way of demanding money with menaces.
TERRY PRATCHETT
It's useful to go out of this world and see it from the perspective of another one.
TERRY PRATCHETT
It is often said that before you die your life passes before your eyes. It is in fact true. It's...
TERRY PRATCHETT
It's not worth doing something unless you were doing something that someone, somewere, would muc...
TERRY PRATCHETT
This isn't life in the fast lane, it's life in the oncoming traffic.
TERRY PRATCHETT
The pen is mightier than the sword if the sword is very short, and the pen is very sharp.
TERRY PRATCHETT
Most gods throw dice, but Fate plays chess, and you don't find out til too late that he's be...
TERRY PRATCHETT
Sometimes it is better to light a flamethrower than curse the darkness.
TERRY PRATCHETT
Build a man a fire, and he'll be warm for a day. Set a man on fire, and he'll be warm for th...
TERRY PRATCHETT
Eight years involved with the nuclear industry have taught me that when nothing can possible go wron...
TERRY PRATCHETT
If per capita was a problem, decapita could be arranged
TERRY PRATCHETT
Unseen University was much bigger on the inside. Thousands of years as the leading establishment of ...
TERRY PRATCHETT
Any true wizard, faced with a sign like 'Do not open this door. Really. We mean it. We're not kiddin...
TERRY PRATCHETT
Genius is always allowed some leeway, once the hammer has been pried from its hands and the blood ha...
TERRY PRATCHETT
Siren voices tell me, 'You don't have to keep going on.' And then you think, 'I'...
TERRY PRATCHETT
We're living in science fiction, but we don't realize it.
TERRY PRATCHETT
She got on with her education. In her opinion, school kept on trying to interfere with it.
TERRY PRATCHETT
Albert grunted. "Do you know what happens to lads who ask too many questions?"
Mort thought for...
TERRY PRATCHETT
He's bound to have done something,” Nobby repeated.

In this he was echoing the P...
TERRY PRATCHETT
Sometimes the crime follows the punishment, which only serves to prove the foresight of the Great Go...
TERRY PRATCHETT
'Educational' refers to the process, not the object. Although, come to think of it, some of ...
TERRY PRATCHETT
Joy is to fun what the deep sea is to a puddle. It’s a feeling inside that can hardly be contained...
TERRY PRATCHETT
No more words. We know them all, all the words that should not be said. But you have made my world m...
TERRY PRATCHETT
And what would humans be without love?"
RARE, said Death.
TERRY PRATCHETT
That's why it's always worth having a few philosophers around the place. One minute it's all is trut...
TERRY PRATCHETT
Twoflower was a tourist, the first ever seen on the discworld. Tourist, Rincewind had decided, meant...
TERRY PRATCHETT
Everything starts somewhere, though many physicists disagree. But people have always been dimly awar...
TERRY PRATCHETT
The living often don’t appreciate how complicated the world looks when you are dead, because while...
TERRY PRATCHETT
Hello, inner child, I'm the inner babysitter!
TERRY PRATCHETT
I like writing. I get cranky when I can't. Yes, I write books back to back, and I work very hard...
TERRY PRATCHETT
The baby boomers are getting older, and will stay older for longer. And they will run right into the...
TERRY PRATCHETT
We have been so successful in the past century at the art of living longer and staying alive that we...
TERRY PRATCHETT
I regarded finding I had a form of Alzheimer's as an insult and decided to do my best to marshal...
TERRY PRATCHETT
The bravest person I've ever met was a young boy going through massive amounts of treatment for ...
TERRY PRATCHETT
Evolution was far more thrilling to me than the biblical account. Who would not rather be a rising a...
TERRY PRATCHETT
My advice is this. For Christ's sake, don't write a book that is suitable for a kid of 12 ye...
TERRY PRATCHETT
You can't build a plot out of jokes. You need tragic relief. And you need to let people know tha...
TERRY PRATCHETT
He was the sort of person who stood on mountaintops during thunderstorms in wet copper armour shouti...
TERRY PRATCHETT
Christ managed to boil down an awful lot of commandments to a few very simple rules for living. It&#...
TERRY PRATCHETT
My experience in Amsterdam is that cyclists ride where the hell they like and aim in a state of rage...
TERRY PRATCHETT
And sin, young man, is when you treat people like things.
TERRY PRATCHETT
Everybody has somebody. It could be a friend, a lover, a spouse, a writing partner, or even That One...
TERRY PRATCHETT
I believe you find life such a problem because you think there are good people and bad people. You'r...
TERRY PRATCHETT
But what's worth more than gold?"

"Practically everything. You, for example. Gold is heav...
TERRY PRATCHETT
Gnomes live ten times faster than humans. They're harder to see than a high-speed mouse. That's on...
TERRY PRATCHETT
She walked quickly through the darkness with the frank stride of someone who was at least certain th...
TERRY PRATCHETT
My experience in Amsterdam is that cyclists ride where the hell they like and aim in a state of rage...
TERRY PRATCHETT
There was this about vampires : they could never look scruffy. Instead, they were... what was the wo...
TERRY PRATCHETT
Steal five dollars and you're a common thief. Steal thousands and you're either the government or a ...
TERRY PRATCHETT
Of course I'm sane, when trees start talking to me, I don't talk back.
TERRY PRATCHETT
The trouble is you can shut your eyes but you can’t shut your mind.
TERRY PRATCHETT
Nanny Ogg looked under her bed in case there was a man there. Well, you never knew your luck.
TERRY PRATCHETT
Ginger: You know what the greatest tragedy is in the whole world?... It's all the people who never f...
TERRY PRATCHETT
There's a door."
"Where does it go?"
"It stays where it is, I think.
TERRY PRATCHETT
Many people could say things in a cutting way, Nanny knew. But Granny Weatherwax could listen...
TERRY PRATCHETT
No one is actually dead until the ripples they cause in the world die away...
TERRY PRATCHETT
The enemy isn't men, or women, it's bloody stupid people and no one has the right to be stupid.
TERRY PRATCHETT
In fact, the mere act of opening the box will determine the state of the
cat, although in this ...
TERRY PRATCHETT
The entire universe has been neatly divided into things to (a) mate with, (b) eat, (c) run away from...
TERRY PRATCHETT
Elves are wonderful. They provoke wonder.
Elves are marvellous. They cause marvels.
Elves ...
TERRY PRATCHETT
The presence of those seeking the truth is infinitely to be preferred to the presence of those who t...
TERRY PRATCHETT
I got quite annoyed after the Haiti earthquake. A baby was taken from the wreckage and people said i...
TERRY PRATCHETT
In ancient times cats were worshipped as gods; they have not forgotten this.
TERRY PRATCHETT
No one's policing their own minds more than an author. You spend a lot of time in your own head ...
TERRY PRATCHETT
Blessings be on this house," Granny said, perfunctorily. It was always a good opening remark for a w...
TERRY PRATCHETT
At such times the universe gets a little closer to us. They are strange times, times of beginnings a...
TERRY PRATCHETT
Just erotic. Nothing kinky. It's the difference between using a feather and using a chicken.
TERRY PRATCHETT
I saved a man's life once," said Granny. "Special medicine, twice a day. Boiled water with a bit of ...
TERRY PRATCHETT
The Monks of Cool, whose tiny and exclusive monastery is hidden in a really cool and laid-back valle...
TERRY PRATCHETT
She had heard it said that, before you could understand anybody, you needed to walk a mile in their ...
TERRY PRATCHETT
His progress through life was hampered by his tremendous sense of his own ignorance, a disability wh...
TERRY PRATCHETT
Just because someone's a member of an ethnic minority doesn't mean they're not a nasty small-minded ...
TERRY PRATCHETT
Maurice watched them argue again. Humans, eh? Think they're lords of creation. Not like us cats. We ...
TERRY PRATCHETT
The only superstition I have is that I must start a new book on the same day that I finish the last ...
TERRY PRATCHETT
Dickens, as you know, never got round to starting his home page.
TERRY PRATCHETT
Nothing I can say or devise, and nothing anybody else can say or devise, is going to be perfect.
TERRY PRATCHETT
The whole of life is just like watching a film. Only it's as though you always get in ten minutes af...
TERRY PRATCHETT
Seven hundred thousand people who have dementia in this country are not heard. I'm fortunate; I ...
TERRY PRATCHETT
It was one of those problematic occasions with long silences, sporadic coughs, and people saying iso...
TERRY PRATCHETT
Personally, I think the best motto for an educational establishment is: 'Or Would You Rather Be ...
TERRY PRATCHETT
Elves are wonderful. They provoke wonder.Elves are marvellous. They cause marvels.Elves are fantasti...
TERRY PRATCHETT
Rincewind had been told that death was just like going into another room. The difference is, when yo...
TERRY PRATCHETT
The point is that descriptive writing is very rarely entirely accurate and during the reign of Olaf ...
TERRY PRATCHETT
Elves are wonderful. They provoke wonder.
Elves are marvellous. They cause marvels.
Elves ar...
TERRY PRATCHETT
"Why does everyone run toward a blood curdling scream?" mumbled the Senior Wrangler. "It is contrary...
TERRY PRATCHETT
A marriage is always made up of two people who are prepared to swear that only the other one snores.
TERRY PRATCHETT
Sham Harga had run a succesful eatery for many years by always smiling, never extending credit, and ...
TERRY PRATCHETT
It was so much easier to blame it on Them. It was bleakly depressing to think that They were Us. If ...
TERRY PRATCHETT
It could not be happening because this sort of thing did not happen. Any contradictory evidence coul...
TERRY PRATCHETT
An education was a bit like a communicable sexual disease. It made you unsuitable for a lot of jobs ...
TERRY PRATCHETT
A good bookshop is just a genteel Black Hole that knows how to read.
TERRY PRATCHETT
Stupid men are often capable of things the clever would not dare to contemplate...
TERRY PRATCHETT
The consensus seemed to be that if really large numbers of men were sent to storm the mountain, then...
TERRY PRATCHETT
For animals, the entire universe has been neatly divided into things to (a) mate with, (b) eat, (c) ...
TERRY PRATCHETT
Give a man a fire and he's warm for the day. But set fire to him and he's warm for the rest of his l...
TERRY PRATCHETT
In the begining there was nothing, and it exploded.
TERRY PRATCHETT
Gravity is a habit that is hard to shake off.
TERRY PRATCHETT
The truth may be out there, but the lies are inside your head.
TERRY PRATCHETT
God does not play dice with the universe; He plays an ineffable game of his own devising, which migh...
TERRY PRATCHETT
That seems to point up a significant difference between Europeans and Americans. A European says: "I...
TERRY PRATCHETT