She was a large woman who seemed not so much dressed as upholstered

You see, dear, it is not true that woman was made from man's rib; she was really made from his funny bone

Men's second childhood begins when a woman gets a hold of him.

... it's a sort of bloom on a woman. If you have it you don't need to have anything else; and if you don't have it, it doesn't much matter what else you have.

Life is a long lesson in humility.

The life of every man is a diary in which he means to write one story, and writes another.