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She was only a prostitute, but she had the nicest face I ever came across.


George Carlin

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SIMON REX I loved George Carlin and Dean Martin. I was one of those kids who had every comedy album.
STEPHEN COLBERT She is a smashing filly and probably the nicest she's had.
DICK FOWLSTON George Carlin was great right up to the end of his life. But Richard Pryor was probably the best, mo...
DENIS LEARY She was the first face that students would see when they came into the student union. She had a very...
COLENE LIND I have said that she had no face; but that meant she had a thousand faces
C.S. LEWIS I listened to George Carlin when I was a kid and knew every word of his routines.
SEAN HAYES She always had a smile on her face. She was very upbeat, happy. She was a good Christian. She had so...
JENNIFER CZAJKA She told me she only had been married once, but I found out I was only one sucker in a bunch.
DOUGLAS RICE In the teahouses one could hear the most absurd stories, such as how a in a certain place a huge spi...
LAO SHE During my childhood I didn't need to hear stories about evil ogres eating children and so forth; the...
LAO SHE She had the world’s worst poker face: her feelings floated across them like reflections on a still...
JOJO MOYES And George Carlin was a guy that the more he aged the younger he seemed.
KEVIN SMITH She was my friend because she was kind and funny but she had a face like two oysters fused together ...
ANDREW HINKINSON And when she started becoming a “young lady,” and no one was allowed to look at her because she ...
STEPHEN CHBOSKY Don't die on me," she ordered. "You are not dying on me."
"Yes, ma'am." He felt light-headed, b...
RICK RIORDAN I was an adventurer, but she was not an adventuress. She was a 'wanderess.' Thus, she didn’t care ...
ROMAN PAYNE George Carlin is kind of my template now because George Carlin before was straight laced regular com...
DREW CAREY I did stand-up. I loved George Carlin and Steve Martin.
STEVE BUSCEMI She was solid. We had a long stint without a goal and she came through.
KARIN BROWER She smiled. She knew she was dying. But it did not matter any longer. She had known something which ...
AYN RAND I’ve often wondered, since I was the moron that Billy Hicks and George Carlin were talking about, ...
BOBBY W. MILLER In 2008, I was in a London park when I came across a fledgling crow that had fallen from the top of ...
IMELDA MAY I stumbled across some information on her during the spring of 1977. What struck me about her was th...
WILDA SMITH The end of 2016, Mariah Carey got on stage, and it was mean. The technical difficulties that she cam...
CRAIG ROBINSON I used to write poetry when I was younger," Jess said. She had kept a notebook by her bed, in case s...
ALLEGRA GOODMAN Sometimes she was even sure that she had ever really existed.
MELISSA DE LA CRUZ I think Princess Diana enjoyed it here in Pakistan immensely. She had a good time. But she never cam...
HASNAT KHAN She told the truth as she saw it, and she died for it. I came along for the ride, and I lived. It wa...
MIRA GRANT When I was a bit older I had all of the George Carlin records, all of the Steve Martin records, all ...
MARC MARON Ms. Fang is the nicest, sweetest teacher at Scary School. She only ate twelve kids last year.
DEREK THE GHOST I know who they are but there isn't enough evidence to lay charges. They're still around downtown an...
BILL CARTER She just happened to feel like it. Wasn’t that after all, the only reason there was? Had she ever ...
RICHARD YATES How could I have ever thought she was what was wrong in my life? She was the only thing that made an...
ELLA FRANK She looked at me, she rolled her eyes back, a tear came down her face and she died in my arms.
EDWIN REYES The seven words George Carlin said you couldn’t say on TV or radio (“fuck,” “piss,” “shi...
MARY NORRIS I’m a high-tech low-life. A cutting edge, state-of-the-art bi-coastal multi-tasker and I can give ...
GEORGE CARLIN My mother lived till she was 95 and never had a line on her face or a frown line. She was beautiful.
JACLYN SMITH She had the biggest heart. She was the most caring person you could ever meet.
BETHANY NICHOLSON Rocking back and forth, she clutched the sword like it was the only thing she had ever loved, and le...
CASSANDRA CLARE She had to get 150 stitches. She had seven lacerations to her face. Her ear was literally cut off.
DONNA HENDERSON Everybody just thought the world of her. She was the nicest, most unassuming, wonderful woman.
KATHY STEELE Our coach told us she would be the X-factor, and she was. She was amazing. We had our hands in her f...
AMY DONOVAN It came out of nowhere, because she was doing real well. We went on a [Caribbean] cruise the week be...
ERIC SLOTTER Britney would make a better prostitute than Christina. She's thicker.
SNOOP DOGG Reading the script, I had a strong feeling for the character. She has this brassy, cabaret quality, ...
CHIWETEL EJIOFOR I knew she was a great athlete. But this time she was exceptional, gave everything she had and fough...
GEORGES GOVEN I'm obsessed with Lady Gaga. I saw her at the Alexander Wang fashion show after-party, and I thi...
KYLIE JENNER She was the stone-faced queen, then and ever after. She had needed the mask to rule, and she had bee...
MEGAN WHALEN TURNER My mother was the first woman in the county in Indiana where we were born, in Jay County, to have a ...
TWYLA THARP She'd had a similar accident but survived. She told me that as she was crashing she felt no fear or ...
CAROL BARNES She was nine when she came in, and we had her several months. Her home life was not the best. She wa...
BRENDA WEBB The big three came through for me again. Hillary was playing really fine. She had two bad holes, but...
STEVE CHANDLER She was our Windex girl tonight. She went to the glass and just cleaned it all night long for us. Sh...
JOHN CHANCELLOR Then I made her understand that, where she was concerned, I was only a poor dog, ready to die for he...
GASTON LEROUX She was incredibly responsible in the workplace, [but] she was incredibly socially immature. Greg [S...
LINDA WOJAS She was a girl who for a ringing phone dropped exactly nothing. She looked as if her phone had been ...
J.D. SALINGER George stared at the dove. What would she say if she could speak to him? What would she wish for, fo...
METTE IVIE HARRISON In the silence, she felt the past and the present shift and mix, but that was a mirage. There was no...
J.R. WARD Nick rubbed his hand across his face as he tried to make sense of her prattle. But that was the thin...
SHERRILYN KENYON She was one of the best principals I've ever had.
ROBERT BURN After I had the twins, she left a voice message on my home phone asking about them. She then came to...
JODI RUCINSKI The keeping of lists was for November an exercise kin to repeating of a rosary. She considered it ne...
CATHERYNNE M. VALENTE I noticed she was very physical and she had a lot of raw talent. She also had great speed and she ju...
ALLISON KEELEY Working on 'Malibu Country' with Reba McEntire is truly a gift. She is one of the nicest peo...
SARA RUE She had not wanted him to but had let him have his way because ever since she was a child she had ge...
AMOS OZ She was absolutely instrumental as a leader on the court and a leader off the court. She had a lot t...
CHRISTINE GRUNEWALD We had a hoarding-kennel case, and she came to the scene, spent hours there and came to court with u...
MIKE LUCAS I knew she had a good game, but I never would have guessed she was in the 30s.
BILL TOMSICH She had 7 1/2 years to consider what she was doing and didn't stop. She only stopped because she was...
ANDREW MACDONALD I held her close for only a short time, but after she was gone, I'd see her smile on the face of a p...
BRIAN ANDREAS When we were arguing on my twenty-fourth birthday, she left the kitchen, came back with a pistol, an...
DENIS JOHNSON Ugly and ungainly. The least dependable creature you ever met. Just when you think you understand he...
METTE IVIE HARRISON I thought she was going to stuff me because she was coming right at my face. But I'm lucky I got it ...
LIZ GRUBER I think she just wasn't loose. But what was most important was that she adjusted her game plan and p...
TERRI SULLIVAN She wasn't the least bit depressed. She was talking about going to Mexico. She had a Mexican boyfrie...
JAMES BACON She wasn't the least bit depressed. She was talking about going to Mexico. She had a Mexican boyfrie...
JAMES BACON She was very upset when she came into the police department and very relieved upon learning we had t...
KATHERINE COLLINS She looked for any sign of the boy who'd taught her to whistle a hornpipe, who could palm an ace of ...
TIFFANY BAKER You had every right to be. He raised his eyes to look at her and she was suddenly and strangely remi...
CASSANDRA CLARE I don't remember my mother ever playing with me. And she was a perfectly good mother. But she ha...
PATRICIA HEATON I knew nothing about my mum's family. Her parents were dead by the time she was 14. She was brou...
JASMINE GUINNESS When we got married in the early '50s, Judy was still very beautiful. She was only 5 foot tall — j...
SID LUFT When we got married in the early '50s, Judy was still very beautiful, ... She was only 5 foot tall �...
SID LUFT When she came out as a freshman you could tell she was going to be good and that she had a lot of po...
KRISTI FRYE She almost died. She had to wait until they came back to find out if he was OK. I couldn't go throug...
GLADYS BETTIS She was my friend. Briefly, she was my lover. She was braver than I ever would have been in the mome...
JOHN SCALZI But if you read Jane Austen, you know that she had a wicked sense of humor. Not only was she funny, ...
SETH GRAHAME-SMITH She (Ivy) goes out and gives it her all, doing everything she can. She is non-stop motion. But then ...
MORIAH FERNANDEZ She looked across the room at Will , she wasn't sure why, only to find that he w...
CASSANDRA CLARE When I did the first 'Matrix,' after it came out, I had a woman come up to me and just thank...
CARRIE-ANNE MOSS The pictures came out and everyone was going: ?Oh my God, she only had her baby three days ago and l...
ANNA FRIEL It had always seemed to Emily, ever since she could remember, that she was very, very near to a worl...
L.M. MONTGOMERY She had no idea how George delighted in her funny ways, or watched her through the window as she sto...
ALLEGRA GOODMAN My mother was the nicest person in the world. I still have people coming to me to say how she was so...
ARJUN KAPOOR It went from Bob Newhart to Flip Wilson to Bill Cosby to Richard Pryor to George Carlin to Cheech an...
RON WHITE Children are infinitely credulous. My Lisa was a dull child, but even so she came up with things tha...
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GEORGE CARLIN I would never want to be a member of a group whose symbol was a guy nailed to two pieces of wood.
GEORGE CARLIN Electricity is really just organized lightning.
GEORGE CARLIN Weather forecast for tonight: dark.
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GEORGE CARLIN May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house.
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I see a glass that's twice as bi...
GEORGE CARLIN When you step on the brakes your life is in your foot's hands.
GEORGE CARLIN Religion is just mind control.
GEORGE CARLIN One can never know for sure what a deserted area looks like.
GEORGE CARLIN There's no present. There's only the immediate future and the recent past.
GEORGE CARLIN The reason I talk to myself is that I'm the only one whose answers I accept.
GEORGE CARLIN Always do whatever's next.
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GEORGE CARLIN One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor.
GEORGE CARLIN Inside every cynical person, there is a disappointed idealist.
GEORGE CARLIN People who say they don't care what people think are usually desperate to have people think they don...
GEORGE CARLIN Death is caused by swallowing small amounts of saliva over a long period of time.
GEORGE CARLIN I'm completely in favor of the
separation of Church and State.
... These two institution...
GEORGE CARLIN What do dogs do on their day off?; Can't lie around – that's their job!
GEORGE CARLIN That's why they call it the American Dream, because you have to be asleep to believe it.
GEORGE CARLIN If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?
GEORGE CARLIN Meow” means “woof” in cat.
GEORGE CARLIN Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups.
GEORGE CARLIN Here's all you have to know about men and women: women are crazy, men are stupid. And the main reaso...
GEORGE CARLIN The reason I talk to myself is because I’m the only one whose answers I accept.
GEORGE CARLIN Don't give your money to the church. They should be giving their money to you.
GEORGE CARLIN Fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity.
GEORGE CARLIN People say, 'I'm going to sleep now,' as if it were nothing. But it's really a bizarre activity. 'Fo...
GEORGE CARLIN Some people see things that are and ask, Why?
Some people dream of things that never were and ...
GEORGE CARLIN I like it when a flower or a little tuft of grass grows through a crack in the concrete. It's so fuc...
GEORGE CARLIN Religion has actually convinced people that there's an invisible man living in the sky who watches e...
GEORGE CARLIN It was my uncle who taught me about the birds and the bees. He sat me down one day and said, 'Rememb...
GEORGE CARLIN How can He be perfect? Everything He ever makes...dies.
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GEORGE CARLIN How is it possible to have a civil war?
GEORGE CARLIN The planet is fine. The people are fucked.
GEORGE CARLIN We're so self-important. So arrogant. Everybody's going to save something now. Save the trees, save ...
GEORGE CARLIN We’re so self-important. Everybody’s going to save something now. “Save the trees, save the be...
GEORGE CARLIN Tell people there's an invisible man in the sky who created the universe, and the vast majority will...
GEORGE CARLIN The caterpillar does all the work, but the butterfly gets all the publicity.
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GEORGE CARLIN May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house.-
GEORGE CARLIN Rhetoric paints with a broad brush.
GEORGE CARLIN There's no present. There's only the immediate future and the recent past.
GEORGE CARLIN We're having something a little different this year for Thanksgiving. Instead of a turkey, we're hav...
GEORGE CARLIN Some people see the cup as half empty. Some people see the cup as half full. I see the cup as too la...
GEORGE CARLIN Dusting is a good example of the futility of trying to put things right. As soon as you dust, the fa...
GEORGE CARLIN Some national parks have long waiting lists for camping reservations. When you have to wait a year t...
GEORGE CARLIN Regarding the Boy Scouts, I'm very suspicious of any organization that has a handbook
GEORGE CARLIN Scientists announced today that they have discovered a cure for apathy. However, they claim no one h...
GEORGE CARLIN Instead of warning pregnant women not to drink, I think female alcoholics should be told not to fuck
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GEORGE CARLIN I'm completely in favor of the separation of Church and State. My idea is that these two institution...
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GEORGE CARLIN ... And what about Zombies? You never hear from Zombies! That's the trouble with Zombies, they're ...
GEORGE CARLIN Have you ever noticed? Anybody going slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you i...
GEORGE CARLIN I recently went to a new doctor and noticed he was located in something called the Professional Buil...
GEORGE CARLIN Why is there so much controversy about drug testing? I know plenty of guys who would be willing to t...
GEORGE CARLIN Men are from Earth, women are from Earth. Deal with it.
GEORGE CARLIN I do this real moron thing, and it's called thinking. And apparently I'm not a very good American be...
GEORGE CARLIN I bet you anything that 10 times out of 10, Nicky, Vinny and Tony will beat the shit out of Todd, Ky...
GEORGE CARLIN The more syllables a euphemism has, the further divorced from reality it is
GEORGE CARLIN He - and if there is a God, I am convinced he is a he, because no woman could or would ever fuck thi...
GEORGE CARLIN There are nights when the wolves are silent and only the moon howls.
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GEORGE CARLIN Most people work just hard enough not to get fired and get paid just enough money not to quit.
GEORGE CARLIN By and large, language is a tool for concealing the truth.
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GEORGE CARLIN If you can't beat them, arrange to have them beaten.
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GEORGE CARLIN Everyone smiles in the same language.
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GEORGE CARLIN I'm not concerned about all hell breaking loose, but that a PART of hell will break loose... it&...
GEORGE CARLIN It turned out I was pretty good in science. But again, because of the small budget, in science class...
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GEORGE CARLIN Weather forecast for tonight: dark. Continued dark overnight, with widely scattered light by morning...
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GEORGE CARLIN It's never just a game when you're winning.
GEORGE CARLIN If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked, doesn't it follow that electricians can be delight...
GEORGE CARLIN If it's true that our species is alone in the universe, then I'd have to say that the universe aimed...
GEORGE CARLIN I'm not concerned about all hell breaking loose, but that a PART of hell will break loose... it'll b...
GEORGE CARLIN I think it's the duty of the comedian to find out where the line is drawn and cross it deliberately.
GEORGE CARLIN Honesty may be the best policy, but it's important to remember that apparently, by elimination, dish...
GEORGE CARLIN Frisbeetarianism is the belief that when you die, your soul goes up on the roof and gets stuck.
GEORGE CARLIN As a matter of principle, I never attend the first annual anything.
GEORGE CARLIN The very existence of flamethrowers proves that some time, somewhere, someone said to themselves, GEORGE CARLIN I do this real moron thing, it's called thinking, and I'm not a very good Amercian because I like to...
GEORGE CARLIN Let a smile be your umbrella, and you'll end up with a face full of rain.
GEORGE CARLIN Just think of how stupid the average person is, and then realize half of them are even stupider!
GEORGE CARLIN Little-known fact: When the stock exchange closes, the guy who comes out on the balcony with that b...
GEORGE CARLIN If we could just find out who's in charge, we could kill him
GEORGE CARLIN In Rome, the emperor sat in a special part of the Coliseum called the Caesarian Section
GEORGE CARLIN If it requires a uniform it's a worthless endeavor
GEORGE CARLIN The next time they give you all that civic bullshit about voting, keep in mind that Hitler was elect...
GEORGE CARLIN The most unfair thing about life is the way it ends. I mean, life is tough. It takes up a lot of you...
GEORGE CARLIN Well, if crime fighters fight crime and fire fighters fight fires, what do freedom fighters fight?
GEORGE CARLIN we get what we deserve. They are our elected officials.
GEORGE CARLIN When you're born you get a ticket to the freak show. When you're born in America, you get a ...
GEORGE CARLIN You know an odd feeling? Sitting on the toilet eating a chocolate candy bar
GEORGE CARLIN Is fuel efficiency really what we need most desperately? I say what we really need is a car that can...
GEORGE CARLIN If you think there's a solution, you're part of the problem
GEORGE CARLIN In America, anyone can become president. That's the problem.
GEORGE CARLIN When someone is impatient and says, 'I haven't got all day,' I always wonder, How can th...
GEORGE CARLIN Don’t just teach your children to read…
Teach them to question what they read.
Teach t...
GEORGE CARLIN Isn’t it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do “practice”?
GEORGE CARLIN I don't know how you feel, but I'm pretty sick of church people. You know what they ought to do with...
GEORGE CARLIN I have as much authority as the Pope. I just don’t have as many people who believe it.
GEORGE CARLIN Something is wrong here. War, disease, death, destruction, hunger, filth, poverty, torture, crime, c...
GEORGE CARLIN I tried to believe that there is a God, who created each of us in His own image and likeness, loves ...
GEORGE CARLIN Conservatives say if you don't give the rich more money, they will lose their incentive to invest. A...
GEORGE CARLIN There's also way too much religion in the South to be consistent with good mental health.

GEORGE CARLIN So I say, “Live and let live.” That’s my motto. “Live and let live.” And anyone who can’...
GEORGE CARLIN THINGS YOU NEVER HEAR: 'Please stop sucking my dick or I'll call the police.
GEORGE CARLIN Some people have no idea what they're doing, and a lot of them are really good at it.
GEORGE CARLIN I think these pipe-smokers oughta just move to the next level and go ahead and suck a dick. There's ...
GEORGE CARLIN I don't like ass kissers, flag wavers or team players. I like people who buck the system. Individual...
GEORGE CARLIN When I ask how old your toddler is, I don't need to hear '27 months.' 'He's two' will do just fine. ...
GEORGE CARLIN If it’s true that our species is alone in the universe, then I’d have to say the universe aimed ...
GEORGE CARLIN There are women named Faith, Hope, Joy, and Prudence. Why not Despair, Guilt, Rage, and Grief? It se...
GEORGE CARLIN If you can't beat them, arrange to have them beaten
GEORGE CARLIN [On school uniforms] Don't these schools do enough damage making all these kids think alike, now the...
GEORGE CARLIN Life is a series of dogs
GEORGE CARLIN I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman, 'Where's the self-help section?' She said if she tol...
GEORGE CARLIN So, have a little fun. Soon enough you'll be dead and burning in Hell with the rest of your family.
GEORGE CARLIN I read that Monica Seles got stabbed. And although I have nothing against Monica Seles, I'm glad som...
GEORGE CARLIN May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house.
GEORGE CARLIN May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house.-.
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GEORGE CARLIN They call it the 'American Dream' because you have to be asleep to believe it.
GEORGE CARLIN One can never know for sure what a deserted area looks like
GEORGE CARLIN Comedy is a socially acceptable form of hostility and aggression. That is what comics do, stand the ...
GEORGE CARLIN I have no emotional stake in Panda fucking.
GEORGE CARLIN Jesus was a cross dresser
GEORGE CARLIN By and large, language is a tool for concealing the truth
GEORGE CARLIN The word bipartisan means some larger-than-usual deception is being carried out
GEORGE CARLIN Fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity
GEORGE CARLIN What makes me nervous is when I am at an airport and the stewardess says get on the plane. I say fuc...
GEORGE CARLIN Most people with low self-esteem have earned it
GEORGE CARLIN If God had intended us not to masturbate he would've made our arms shorter
GEORGE CARLIN If churches want to play the game of politics, let them pay admission like everyone else
GEORGE CARLIN I don't vote. Two reasons. First of all it's meaningless; this country was bought and sold a long ti...
GEORGE CARLIN If a pig loses its voice, is it disgruntled?
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GEORGE CARLIN I'm the creative type,
GEORGE CARLIN When I got out of high school they retired my jersey, but it was for hygiene and sanitary reasons
GEORGE CARLIN Anybody going slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac.
GEORGE CARLIN He had a sort of pain that was fairly evident.
GEORGE CARLIN Rich White Men Don't Care About Poor Black People
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GEORGE CARLIN 'We hope you enjoy your stay in Chicago or wherever your final destination may be.' All destinations...
GEORGE CARLIN When you stress individualism, as this country does; materialism, as this country does; personal wea...
GEORGE CARLIN In comic strips, the person on the right always speaks first.
GEORGE CARLIN In labor news, longshoremen walked off the piers today; rescue operations are continuing
GEORGE CARLIN I went straight from shenanigans to cries against humanity
GEORGE CARLIN A man came up to me on the street and said I used to be messed up out of my mind on drugs but now I'...
GEORGE CARLIN I tell ya, if I hadn't chosen the career of being a performer, I think linguistics would have been a...
GEORGE CARLIN If you’re reading it in a book, folks, it ain’t self-help. It’s help.
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GEORGE CARLIN Little-known fact: When the stock exchange closes, the guy who comes out on the balcony with that bi...
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GEORGE CARLIN Everything beeps now
GEORGE CARLIN You live eighty years, and at best you get about six minutes of pure magic
GEORGE CARLIN Think about it,
GEORGE CARLIN I remember when I was a kid I used to come home from Sunday School and my mother would get drunk and...
GEORGE CARLIN Most people are not particularly good at anything
GEORGE CARLIN I enjoy watching reruns of Saturday Night Live and counting all the dead people
GEORGE CARLIN When Thomas Edison worked late into the night on the electric light, he had to do it by gas lamp or ...
GEORGE CARLIN What are you going to do, play with your prick for another 20 to 30 years,>Read People Magazine your...
GEORGE CARLIN One thing i don't understand is sex is legal and selling things is legal but selling sex is illegal.
GEORGE CARLIN “The reason I talk to myself is because I’m the only one whose answers I accept.”
GEORGE CARLIN If a piece requires some specific inflection, I'll record it. I take a lot of notes, and later categ...
GEORGE CARLIN Without the laughs, the audience wouldn't be there at all, so in that sense, yes, I am a comedian.
GEORGE CARLIN