Show me a university which is a hotbed of thin-skinned offence-taking, where every unacceptable idea is policed and every person who happens to hold one is hounded out of a job, and I will show you a university that isn't a university but an ideological prison camp and indoctrination centre.

Howard Jacobson

Camp Centre Every Happens Hold Idea Ideological Indoctrination Job Me Out Person Prison Show Unacceptable University Where Which Who Will You

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I am happiest now. There's nothing like running out of time to make you realise you're in the right skin, with the right person, and that the Apocalypse will happen with or without you.

— Howard Jacobson

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You are changed by the people you are closest to, and this has allowed me to forgive myself for the person I once was.

— Howard Jacobson

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No traveller ever sets out with so little idea of where he is going or how he is going to get there than an artist does. And no traveller ever gets to a more wonderful place.

— Howard Jacobson

Of the secular mysteries to which I wake with fresh and sometimes angry amazement every day, the queue is the second-most baffling. The first is the fan.

— Howard Jacobson

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The young come in many guises: vigorous and passionate, vindictive and mean-spirited. And not every person over 65 is dozing in a retirement home.

— Howard Jacobson