So I went to the dentist. He said "Say Aaah." I said "Why?" He said "My dog's died.'

We provide a full range of dental services for patients of all ages. We always welcome new patients and appreciate your referral of family and friends.

So I rang up a local building firm, I said 'I want a skip outside my house.' He said 'I'm not stopping you.'

You know, somebody actually complimented me on my driving today. They left a little note on the windscreen, it said 'Parking Fine.'

Last night I dreamed I ate a ten-pound marshmallow, and when I woke up the pillow was gone.

Wild Turkey is my friend. Old friends can meet any time. They're easy together like that. I poured myself a large one and lit a Benny. Brunch.