Some of the pictures I must say every now and then I just think are going to be funny. When it gets that much, you might as well just pull out all the stops and make it more of a burlesque.


Martin Mull

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More Martin Mull

Having a family is like having a bowling alley installed in your brain. -Martin Mull.
MARTIN MULL
Having a family is like having a bowling alley installed in your brain.
MARTIN MULL
Having children makes you no more a parent than having a piano makes you a pianist.
MARTIN MULL
Having a family is like having a bowling alley installed in your brain.
MARTIN MULL
Having children is like having a bowling alley installed in your brain.
MARTIN MULL
The trouble with jogging is that the ice falls out of your glass.
MARTIN MULL
If there is some art involved, I'd like it to be that it came through the cracks of daily work.
MARTIN MULL
It's hard to decide if TV makes morons out of everyone or if it mirrors Americans who really are mor...
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A cult following is a nice way of saying very few people like you.
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I don't think you really can send an exact message, because any two viewers are so disparate, in...
MARTIN MULL
The town where I grew up has a zip code of E-I-E-I-O.
MARTIN MULL
Human beings are seventy percent water, and with some the rest is collagen.
MARTIN MULL
Never underestimate a child's ability to get into more trouble.
MARTIN MULL
It's hard to decide if TV makes morons out of everyone, or if it mirrors Americans who really ar...
MARTIN MULL
Never underestimate a child's ability to get into more trouble.
MARTIN MULL
Having children is like having a bowling alley installed in your brain
MARTIN MULL
It's hard to decide if TV makes morons out of everyone, or if it mirrors Americans who really are mo...
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Show business is just like high school, except you get paid.
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Having a family is like having a bowling alley installed in your head.
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I kind of just lucked into and fell into the other profession. It was really just an outgrowth of th...
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Writing about music is like dancing about architecture.
MARTIN MULL
I like pancakes.
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There are no insect eggs in my food.” Mrs. White reiterated.
You should use that in your adve...
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Smart people learn from their mistakes. But the real sharp ones learn from the mistakes of others.
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Ew, sicko. I was practicing Edomic."
"Sure you were," Jason said. "You're just too embarrassed ...
BRANDON MULL
How do you kill something that's already dead?
Nobody knows enough about them. Ask Ja...
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Yes, we have different viewpoints represented among us," she continued. "Yes, we have a displacer in...
BRANDON MULL
Jason glanced at the creature. It remained the same distance away as before, still as a statue.
BRANDON MULL
Excruciating agony makes me cranky.
BRANDON MULL
Right now we don't see any connection at all, but that could change, ... Unless he left a note or th...
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There were some tears in her clothing that indicated he used some type of cutting instrument to cut ...
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We got the call about 10:18, and by 10:20 he was in there,
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The officer was able to strategically gun this guy down before he was able to kill his hostage, ... ...
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Could you just call me Pigeon?” he asked the teacher when she read his name.
“Does your mot...
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Then you've starte...
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An unread book does nobody any good. Stories happen in the mind of a reader, not among symbols print...
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Choices determine character.
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Are you her boyfriend?”
...
No, I’m her fiancé.” Nate said.
We’ve been promi...
BRANDON MULL
Sometimes the best offense was avoiding self-destruction.
BRANDON MULL
Luck has a way of evaporating when you lean on it.
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Oh, Kendra, before I forget, Gavin asked me to give you this letter." He held out a gray, speckled e...
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You look tired," Rachel told Jason.
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"Can'...
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Kendra stared out the side window of the SUV, watching foliage blur past. When the flurry of motion ...
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Seth
BRANDON MULL
rumors. I’ll not say more on the subject. Cheese in your eggs?” “Yes, please.” * * * With Ke...
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Was the anticipation worse than the event itself? At
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Evil likes darkness.” “Why is that?” Seth asked. Grandma thought about the question a moment b...
BRANDON MULL
A bar of gold means much more to a pauper than to a king
BRANDON MULL
In their youth, mortals behave more like nymphs. Adulthood seems impossibly distant, let alone the e...
BRANDON MULL
Agreements. Specifically, a treaty ratified by all the orders of whimsical like forms who dwell here...
BRANDON MULL
The surprise is on the far side."
"You're sure?"
"Positive."
"It better not be anothe...
BRANDON MULL
The baby dove into the room, transforming grotesquely as it landed on the floorin a deft sumersault
BRANDON MULL
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Let's worry about fixing the problem instead of the blame.
BRANDON MULL
break the rules pay the price
BRANDON MULL
Imagination can take you Places....READ
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What'll you do if you can't find a way to cure him?" Seth asked.
Dale paused. "I'll never know ...
BRANDON MULL
Drink the milk.
BRANDON MULL
The only furniture in the dank space was a flimsy cot. Water dripped steadily in one corner. A hole ...
BRANDON MULL
And you came back to Lyrian?" Galloran said in disbelief.
"Believe it or not, I came through th...
BRANDON MULL
What has three heads, six arms, and half a brain?" Three asked. One and Two answered in unison. "Nat...
BRANDON MULL
Not kill us," Pigeon corrected. "She was mainly just trying to turn us into mindless slaves.
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Nathan Sutter," the teacher read.
Here. My mother never calls me Nathan."
Is it Nate?" BRANDON MULL
The girl with the long brown hair turned around. "Are you her boy friend?" she asked.
Summer gl...
BRANDON MULL
Can't you home school me?" Nate pleaded.
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"Soun...
BRANDON MULL
ROBBING GRAVES! SHES ASKING US TO ROB GRAVES!
BRANDON MULL
Hard to call it a party without sardines.
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A crossbow?” Pigeon asked.
I left my battle-ax in my other jeans,” the man said.
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BRANDON MULL
It was an emergency!" Seth blurted. "Read my lips - emergency reading - not some demented idea of fu...
BRANDON MULL
When jumping is the sole option, you jump, and try to make it work.
BRANDON MULL
Forgive my brother," Camira apologized. "We don't normally let him out of his cage when guests are p...
BRANDON MULL
What you call idiot points, I call awesome dollars. ~Seth
BRANDON MULL
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BRANDON MULL
...your mind was seizing on something to try to make sense of the emotion... Can you see the power e...
BRANDON MULL
Please don't assault me with that meat amalgam. It would surely cause infection
BRANDON MULL
I think we should probably get Vanessa out of the Quiet Box to help us. What do you guys say?'
...
BRANDON MULL
Hello, cell. How are you? Still dank and dirty? Me? I've taken up a new habit: talking to my cell. I...
BRANDON MULL
For Frito-Lay!" - Newel and Doren
BRANDON MULL
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JEFF MULL
It could fall both ways for boys and girls. I think the caliber we have is as good as anywhere else....
JEFF MULL
Was life like that? You could look ahead to the future or back to the past, but the present moved to...
BRANDON MULL
Seth hustled over. “What’s the password?”
“Passwords are for sissies,” Warren’s mu...
BRANDON MULL
In short, heroism means doing the right thing regardless of the consequences.
BRANDON MULL
Any simpleton can speak with confidence. Sometimes the greatest fools have the most bravado.
BRANDON MULL
An unread book does nobody any good
BRANDON MULL
All boys belong in insane asylums.
BRANDON MULL
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BRANDON MULL
Running toward danger is foolhardy. ... But so is closing your eyes to it. Many perils become less d...
BRANDON MULL
I was vanquished by a deer!'
A giant magical flying deer with fangs,' Seth said, parroting a de...
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BRANDON MULL
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BRANDON MULL
I blush to think of her beholding my work," Verl confessed.
So do we," Newel assured him.
BRANDON MULL
An occasional foray into negative emotions makes feeling normal that much sweeter.
BRANDON MULL
Seth put his ear against the door. "I can't hear anything."

"There are probably ten of th...
BRANDON MULL
A nation or civilization that continues to produce soft-minded men purchases its own spiritual death...
MARTIN
Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate; only love ca...
MARTIN
Everybody can be great. Because anybody can serve.. You only need a heart full of grace. A soul gene...
MARTIN
A man who won't die for something is not fit to live.
MARTIN
It is the combination of reasonable talent and the ability to keep going in the face of defeat that ...
MARTIN SELIGMAN
Our world is so glutted with useless information, images, useless images, sounds, all this sort of t...
MARTIN SCORSESE
Masterpieces of art possess immense potential to advance a worldview that could help assuage the soc...
MARTIN FILLER
We know what molecules are needed to sense light - what turns that signal that detects light into an...
MARTIN CHALFIE
I have held many things in my hands, and I have lost them all; but whatever I have placed in God'...
MARTIN LUTHER
When I'm making a film, I'm the audience.
MARTIN SCORSESE
Chaos in the midst of chaos isn't funny, but chaos in the midst of order is.
STEVE MARTIN
When modern physics exerts itself to establish the world's formula, what occurs thereby is this:...
MARTIN HEIDEGGER
The human body is essentially something other than an animal organism.
MARTIN HEIDEGGER
Only a god can save us.
MARTIN HEIDEGGER
Transcendence constitutes selfhood.
MARTIN HEIDEGGER
Agriculture is now a motorized food industry, the same thing in its essence as the production of cor...
MARTIN HEIDEGGER
Man is not the lord of beings. Man is the shepherd of Being.
MARTIN HEIDEGGER
To think Being itself explicitly requires disregarding Being to the extent that it is only grounded ...
MARTIN HEIDEGGER
But every historical statement and legitimization itself moves within a certain relation to history.
MARTIN HEIDEGGER
The German language speaks Being, while all the others merely speak of Being.
MARTIN HEIDEGGER
Being-alone is a deficient mode of being-with; its possibility is a proof for the latter.
MARTIN HEIDEGGER
We still by no means think decisively enough about the essence of action.
MARTIN HEIDEGGER
Being and time determine each other reciprocally, but in such a manner that neither can the former -...
MARTIN HEIDEGGER
Making itself intelligible is suicide for philosophy.
MARTIN HEIDEGGER
Why are there beings at all, instead of Nothing?
MARTIN HEIDEGGER
Time is not a thing, thus nothing which is, and yet it remains constant in its passing away without ...
MARTIN HEIDEGGER
We name time when we say: every thing has its time. This means: everything which actually is, every ...
MARTIN HEIDEGGER
Language is the house of the truth of Being.
MARTIN HEIDEGGER
The human being is not the lord of beings, but the shepherd of Being.
MARTIN HEIDEGGER
We do not say: Being is, time is, but rather: there is Being and there is time.
MARTIN HEIDEGGER
The most thought-provoking thing in our thought-provoking time is that we are still not thinking.
MARTIN HEIDEGGER
There are two kinds of power you have to fight. The first is the money, and that's just our syst...
MARTIN SCORSESE
My idea of a good night out is staying in.
MARTIN FREEMAN
I've got to keep breathing. It'll be my worst business mistake if I don't.
STEVE MARTIN
I think I did pretty well, considering I started out with nothing but a bunch of blank paper.
STEVE MARTIN
When your hobbies get in the way of your work - that's OK; but when your hobbies get in the way ...
STEVE MARTIN
I'm tired of wasting letters when punctuation will do, period.
STEVE MARTIN
I think I meant that, given the circumstances of my childhood, I had the illusion that it's easi...
STEVE MARTIN
What I mean is that none of my talents had a - what's that great word - rubric. A singer, an act...
STEVE MARTIN
Tweeting is really only good for one thing - it's just good for tweeting... It is rewarding, bec...
STEVE MARTIN
Boy, those French: they have a different word for everything!
STEVE MARTIN
I got a flue shot and now my chimney works perfectly.
STEVE MARTIN
What is a movie star? A movie star is many things. They can be tall, short, thin, or skinny. They ca...
STEVE MARTIN
I really enjoy finding the right word, creating a good, flowing sentence. I enjoy the rhythm of the ...
STEVE MARTIN
Everything is fraught with danger. I love technology and I love science. It's just always all in...
STEVE MARTIN
I did stand-up comedy for 18 years. Ten of those years were spent learning, four years were spent re...
STEVE MARTIN
I believe that sex is one of the most beautiful, natural, wholesome things that money can buy.
STEVE MARTIN
Nothing I do is done by popular demand.
STEVE MARTIN
Well, excuuuuuse me!
STEVE MARTIN
What is comedy? Comedy is the art of making people laugh without making them puke.
STEVE MARTIN
Talking about music is like dancing about architecture.
STEVE MARTIN
It's music. It's supposed to be fun and inspirational. You have to be inspired. If I did it ...
MAX MARTIN
Nothing good ever comes of violence.
MARTIN LUTHER
What I did was, I went and collected every bit of information from Adventist publishing houses in th...
WALTER MARTIN
Mrs. White, in my opinion, made false statements. She misused what she claimed was the prophetic gif...
WALTER MARTIN
I thought some of Mrs. White's material was prophetic. I felt some of her insights were extremel...
WALTER MARTIN
I am not an enemy of Adventism.
WALTER MARTIN
The very success of medicine in a material way may now threaten the soul of medicine.
WALTER MARTIN
Who knows the minds of men and how they reason and what their methodology is? But I am not going to ...
WALTER MARTIN
I am not saying we are categorizing Ellen White in the biblical context of a false prophet.
WALTER MARTIN
Christ imparts the capacity of conquest to our lives every single day that we are willing to believe...
WALTER MARTIN
A biblical false prophet was a servant of the devil attempting to lead people away from the truth.
WALTER MARTIN
You see, 30 years ago I didn't have near the audience I have now. My tapes on the cults have rea...
WALTER MARTIN
The Doctrine of the Trinity teaches that within the unity of the one Godhead there are three separat...
WALTER MARTIN
A key to strengthening spiritual muscles and enduring hardship is finding strength in the Word of Go...
WALTER MARTIN
Employee of the month is a good example of how somebody can be both a winner and a loser at the same...
DEMETRI MARTIN
The bird, the bee, the running child are all the same to the sliding glass door.
DEMETRI MARTIN
You want to be a bit compulsive in your art or craft or whatever you do.
STEVE MARTIN
And as I've gotten older, I've had more of a tendency to look for people who live by kindnes...
MARTIN SCORSESE
Big money is made in the stock market by being on the right side of the major moves. The idea is to ...
MARTIN ZWEIG
Cinema is a matter of what's in the frame and what's out.
MARTIN SCORSESE
My children's favourite thing is to con me into buying them ice-cream if there's not too big...
CATHERINE MARTIN
God doesn't make mistakes and has made each of us in his own image. God is simply love. There sh...
MARTIN O'MALLEY
For in the true nature of things, if we rightly consider, every green tree is far more glorious than...
MARTIN LUTHER
The Bible is the cradle wherein Christ is laid.
MARTIN LUTHER
'Mars et Avril' is a science fiction film. It's set in Montreal some 50 years in the fut...
MARTIN VILLENEUVE
Photography is the simplest thing in the world, but it is incredibly complicated to make it really w...
MARTIN PARR
Money doesn't mind if we say it's evil, it goes from strength to strength. It's a fictio...
MARTIN AMIS
I tend to avoid televisions, politics, and places with velvet ropes.
DEMETRI MARTIN
Some had the custom of receiving the Eucharist daily, some twice a week, some on the Lord's day,...
MARTIN CHEMNITZ
I think you can be depressed and flourish, I think you can have cancer and flourish, I think you can...
MARTIN SELIGMAN
Stop the habit of wishful thinking and start the habit of thoughtful wishes.
MARY MARTIN
The Lord commonly gives riches to foolish people, to whom he gives nothing else.
MARTIN LUTHER
If you young fellows were wise, the devil couldn't do anything to you, but since you aren't ...
MARTIN LUTHER
If you are not allowed to laugh in heaven, I don't want to go there.
MARTIN LUTHER
The will is a beast of burden. If God mounts it, it wishes and goes as God wills; if Satan mounts it...
MARTIN LUTHER
I am afraid that the schools will prove the very gates of hell, unless they diligently labor in expl...
MARTIN LUTHER
When schools flourish, all flourishes.
MARTIN LUTHER
Whatever your heart clings to and confides in, that is really your God.
MARTIN LUTHER
Peace if possible, truth at all costs.
MARTIN LUTHER
First I shake the whole Apple tree, that the ripest might fall. Then I climb the tree and shake each...
MARTIN LUTHER
The man who has the will to undergo all labor may win to any good.
MARTIN LUTHER
My heart, which is so full to overflowing, has often been solaced and refreshed by music when sick a...
MARTIN LUTHER
I more fear what is within me than what comes from without.
MARTIN LUTHER
I am more afraid of my own heart than of the pope and all his cardinals. I have within me the great ...
MARTIN LUTHER
Blood alone moves the wheels of history.
MARTIN LUTHER
Faith is permitting ourselves to be seized by the things we do not see.
MARTIN LUTHER