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Sometimes I wonder whether the world is being run by smart people who are putting us on or by imbeciles who really mean it.


Laurence J. Peter

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If two wrongs don't make a right, try three.
LAURENCE J. PETER Don't knock the rich. When did a poor person give you a job?
LAURENCE J. PETER You can always tell a real friend; when you've made a fool of yourself he doesn't feel you've done a...
LAURENCE J. PETER Men now monopolize the upper levels depriving women of their rightful share of opportunities for inc...
LAURENCE J. PETER If at first you don't succeed, lie, lie again.
LAURENCE J. PETER Political success is the ability, when the inevitable occurs, to get credit for it.
LAURENCE J. PETER If a cluttered desk is a sign of a cluttered mind, of what, then, is an empty desk a sign?
LAURENCE J. PETER Some problems are so complex that you have to be highly intelligent and well informed just to be und...
LAURENCE J. PETER Two things reduce prejudice: education and laughter.
LAURENCE J. PETER You can always tell a real friend: when you've made a fool of yourself he doesn't feel you've done a...
LAURENCE J. PETER Don't believe in miracles -- depend on them.
LAURENCE J. PETER Fortune knocks but once, but misfortune has much more patience.
LAURENCE J. PETER When I want your opinion I'll give it to you.
LAURENCE J. PETER The best intelligence test is what we do with our leisure.
LAURENCE J. PETER Originality is the fine art of remembering what you hear but forgetting where you heard it.
LAURENCE J. PETER Democracy is a process by which the people are free to choose the man who will get the blame.
LAURENCE J. PETER Slump, and the world slumps with you. Push, and you push alone.
LAURENCE J. PETER Make three correct guesses consecutively and you will establish a reputation as an expert.
LAURENCE J. PETER Psychiatry enables us to correct our faults by confessing our parents shortcomings.
LAURENCE J. PETER In a hierarchy, every employee tends to rise to his level of incompetence.
LAURENCE J. PETER Reality is for people who can't face drugs.
LAURENCE J. PETER Competence, like truth, beauty and contact lenses, is in the eye of the beholder.
LAURENCE J. PETER Television has changed the American child from an irresistable force to an immovable object. -Laure...
LAURENCE J. PETER Oh, what a tangled web we weave when first we practice to believe.
LAURENCE J. PETER Heredity is what sets the parents of a teenager wondering about each other.
LAURENCE J. PETER Speak when you are angry - and you'll make the best speech you'll ever regret.
LAURENCE J. PETER Early to bed, early to rise, work like hell, and advertise.
LAURENCE J. PETER Everyone rises to their level of incompetence.
LAURENCE J. PETER It's better to have loved and lost than to have to do forty pounds of laundry a week.
LAURENCE J. PETER An economist is an expert who will know tomorrow why the things he predicted yesterday didn't ha...
LAURENCE J. PETER If you don't know where you're going, you will probably end up somewhere else.
LAURENCE J. PETER Lead, follow, or get out of the way.
LAURENCE J. PETER Going to church doesn't make you any more a Christian than going to the garage makes you a car.
LAURENCE J. PETER Work is accomplished by those employees who have not yet reached their level of incompetence.
LAURENCE J. PETER Don't believe in miracles - depend on them.
LAURENCE J. PETER Psychiatry enables us to correct our faults by confessing our parents' shortcomings.
LAURENCE J. PETER You can always tell a real friend: when you've made a fool of yourself he doesn't feel you&#...
LAURENCE J. PETER When in doubt or danger, run in circles, scream and shout.
LAURENCE J. PETER Every girl should use what Mother Nature gave her before Father Time takes it away.
LAURENCE J. PETER The seaman tells stories of winds, the ploughman of bulls; the soldier details his wounds, the sheph...
LAURENCE J. PETER Bureaucracy defends the status quo long past the time when the quo has lost its status.
LAURENCE J. PETER Expert: a man who makes three correct guesses consecutively.
LAURENCE J. PETER Competence, like truth, beauty, and contact lenses, is in the eye of the beholder.
LAURENCE J. PETER Against logic there is no armor like ignorance.
LAURENCE J. PETER Men now monopolize the upper levels... depriving women of their rightful share of opportunities for ...
LAURENCE J. PETER A bore is a fellow talking who can change the subject back to his topic of conversation faster than ...
LAURENCE J. PETER Cleaning anything involves making something else dirty, but anything can get dirty without something...
LAURENCE J. PETER An economist is an expert who will know tommorrow why the things he predicted yesterday didn't happe...
LAURENCE J. PETER The man who says he is willing to meet you halfway is usually a poor judge of distance.
LAURENCE J. PETER The incompetent with nothing to do can still make a mess of it.
LAURENCE J. PETER Speak when you are angry--and you will make the best speech you'll ever regret.
LAURENCE J. PETER Real, constructive mental power lies in the creative thought that shapes your destiny, and your hour...
LAURENCE J. PETER Psychiatry enables us to correct our faults by confessing our parents' shortcomings.
LAURENCE J. PETER It is wise to remember that you are one of those who can be fooled some of the time.
LAURENCE J. PETER In spite of the cost of living, it's still popular.
LAURENCE J. PETER If you don't know where you are going, you will probably end up somewhere else.
LAURENCE J. PETER If a cluttered desk is the sign of a cluttered mind, what is the significance of a clean desk?
LAURENCE J. PETER Humility is the embarrassment you feel when you tell people how wonderful you are.
LAURENCE J. PETER Every man serves a useful purpose: A miser, for example, makes a wonderful ancestor.
LAURENCE J. PETER Equal opportunity means everyone will have a fair chance at being incompetent.
LAURENCE J. PETER Education is a method whereby one acquires a higher grade of prejudices.
LAURENCE J. PETER An intelligence test sometimes shows a man how smart he would have been not to have taken it.
LAURENCE J. PETER An economist is an expert who will know tomorrow why the things he predicted yesterday didn't happen...
LAURENCE J. PETER America is a country that doesn't know where it is going but is determined to set a speed record get...
LAURENCE J. PETER There is no stigma attached to recognizing a bad decision in time to install a better one.
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LAURENCE J. PETER The problem with temptation is that you may not get another chance.
LAURENCE J. PETER Aristotle's axiom: The worst form of inequality is to try to make unequal things equal.
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LAURENCE J. PETER As a matter of fact is an expression that precedes many an expression that isn't.
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LAURENCE J. PETER Such an extreme policy will not be generally tolerated. So, to avoid the accumulation of incompetent...
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LAURENCE J. PETER The more conceited members of the race think in terms of an endless ascent—or promotion ad infinit...
LAURENCE J. PETER La supercompetencia conduce a menudo al despido, porque transtorna la jerarquía y viola con ello el...
LAURENCE J. PETER La competencia de un empleado no es determinada por los extraños, sino por su superior en la jerarq...
LAURENCE J. PETER Given enough time—and assuming the existence of enough ranks in the hierarchy—each employee rise...
LAURENCE J. PETER Incompetence,” he argued, “knows no barrier of time or place.
LAURENCE J. PETER The computer may be incompetent in itself--that is, unable to do the work for which it was designed....
LAURENCE J. PETER Know, all the good that individuals find, Or God and Nature meant to mere Mankind, Reason’s whole ...
LAURENCE J. PETER an employee’s relationship—by blood, marriage or acquaintance—with a person above him in the h...
LAURENCE J. PETER Nobody understands how the incessant pressure from above and the incurable incompetence below make i...
LAURENCE J. PETER Seorang yang kompeten dalam level tertentu belum tentu kompeten pada level berikutnya
LAURENCE J. PETER The efficiency of a hierarchy is inversely proportional to its Maturity Quotient, M.Q.    MQ = No...
LAURENCE J. PETER In time, every post tends to be occupied by an employee who is incompetent to carry out its duties.
LAURENCE J. PETER He must examine his objectives and see that true progress is achieved through moving forward to a be...
LAURENCE J. PETER All, from police forces to armed forces, are rigid hierarchies of salaried employees, and all are ne...
LAURENCE J. PETER Employees in a hierarchy do not really object to incompetence (Peter’s Paradox): they merely gossi...
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LAURENCE J. PETER Slump, and the world slumps with you. Push and you push alone.
LAURENCE J. PETER Three Observations        1) The computer may be incompetent in itself—that is, unable to d...
LAURENCE J. PETER a staff increase may produce a temporary improvement, but the promotion process eventually produces ...
LAURENCE J. PETER As individuals we tend to climb to our levels of incompetence. We behave as though up is better and ...
LAURENCE J. PETER Any government, whether it is a democracy, a dictatorship, a communistic or free enterprise bureaucr...
LAURENCE J. PETER in most hierarchies, super-competence is more objectionable than incompetence.” He warned that ext...
LAURENCE J. PETER Good followers do not become good leaders.
LAURENCE J. PETER Speak when you are angry, and you'll make the best speech you'll ever regret.
LAURENCE J. PETER A pessimist is a man who looks both ways when he crosses the street.
LAURENCE J. PETER If you're not sure where you're going, you'll probably end up somewhere else.
PETER LAURENCE If two wrongs don't make a right, try three.
LAURENCE PETER Competence, like truth, beauty, and contact lenses, is in the eye of the beholder.
DR. LAURENCE J. PETER Speak when you are angry - and you'll make the best speech you'll ever regret.
DR. LAURENCE J. PETER Equal opportunity means everyone will have a fair chance at being incompetent.
DR. LAURENCE J. PETER Every girl should use what Mother Nature gave her before Father Time takes it away.
DR. LAURENCE J. PETER I have a great belief in the fact that whenever there is chaos, it creates wonderful thinking. I con...
DR. LAURENCE J. PETER You shouldn't punish others for your own choices
DR. LAURENCE J. PETER Fortune knocks but once, but misfortune has much more patience.
DR LAURENCE J PETER Ever since man invented the wheel, he has been the confused victim of the miracles he has wrought.
DR. LAURENCE J. PETER An optimist expects his dreams to come true; a pessimist expects his nightmares to.
DR. LAURENCE J. PETER Everyone rises to their level of incompetence.
DR. LAURENCE J. PETER America is a land of taxation that was founded to avoid taxation.
DR. LAURENCE J. PETER As a matter of fact, is an expression that precedes many an expression that isn't
DR. LAURENCE J. PETER A censor is a man who knows more than he thinks you ought to.
DR. LAURENCE J. PETER Nobody can be perfect unless he admits his faults, but if he has faults how can he be perfect?
DR. LAURENCE J. PETER A pessimist is a man who looks both ways when he crosses the street.
DR. LAURENCE J. PETER Bureaucracy defends the status quo long past the time when the quo has lost its status.
DR. LAURENCE J. PETER Against logic there is no armor like ignorance.
DR. LAURENCE J. PETER If you don't know where you are going, you will probably end up somewhere else.
DR. LAURENCE J. PETER Education is a method whereby one acquires a higher grade of prejudices.
DR. LAURENCE J. PETER If two wrongs don't make a right, try three.
DR. LAURENCE J. PETER Expert: a man who makes three correct guesses consecutively.
DR. LAURENCE J. PETER Psychiatry enables us to correct our faults by confessing our parents' shortcomings.
DR. LAURENCE J. PETER There are two kinds of egotists: Those who admit it, and the rest of us.
DR. LAURENCE J. PETER Two things reduce prejudice: education and laughter.
DR. LAURENCE J. PETER The seaman tells stories of winds, the ploughman of bulls; the soldier details his wounds, the sheph...
DR. LAURENCE J. PETER A rut is a grave with the ends knocked out.
DR. LAURENCE J. PETER Facts are stubborn things, but statistics are more pliable
DR. LAURENCE J. PETER In a hierarchy, every employee tends to rise to his level of incompetence.
DR. LAURENCE J. PETER Work is accomplished by those employees who have not yet reached their level of incompetence.
DR. LAURENCE J. PETER There are two kinds of failures: those who thought and never did, andthose who did and never thought...
DR. LAURENCE J. PETER Originality is the fine art of remembering what you hear but forgetting where you heard it.
DR. LAURENCE J. PETER Everyone is in awe of the lion tamer in a cage with half a dozen lions-everyone but a school bus dri...
DR. LAURENCE J. PETER Democracy is a process by which the people are free to choose the man who will get the blame.
DR. LAURENCE J. PETER Going to church does not make you a Christian anymore than going to the garage makes you a car.
DR. LAURENCE J. PETER It's better to have loved and lost than to have to do forty pounds of laundry a week.
DR. LAURENCE J. PETER A man convinced against his will is not convinced.
DR. LAURENCE J. PETER America is a country that doesn't know where it is going but is determined to set a speed record get...
DR. LAURENCE J. PETER Make three correct guesses consecutively and you will establish a reputation as an expert.
DR. LAURENCE J. PETER The man who says he is willing to meet you halfway is usually a poor judge of distance.
DR. LAURENCE J. PETER The only problems money can solve are money problems
DR. LAURENCE J. PETER Slump, and the world slumps with you. Push, and you push alone.
DR. LAURENCE J. PETER Many live by their wits but few by their wit
DR. LAURENCE J. PETER Committees have become so important nowadays that subcommittees have to be appointed to do the work.
DR. LAURENCE J. PETER The advantage of modern means of communication is they enable you to worry about things in all of th...
DR. LAURENCE J. PETER Heredity is what sets the parents of a teenager wondering about each other.
DR. LAURENCE J. PETER The best intelligence test is what we do with our leisure.
DR. LAURENCE J. PETER Some problems are so complex that you have to be highly intelligent and well informed just to be und...
DR. LAURENCE J. PETER It is wise to remember that you are one of those who can be fooled some of the time.
DR. LAURENCE J. PETER If a cluttered desk is the sign of a cluttered mind, what is the significance of a clean desk?
DR. LAURENCE J. PETER A man doesn't know what he knows until he knows what he doesn't know.
DR. LAURENCE J. PETER When in doubt or danger, run in circles, scream and shout.
DR. LAURENCE J. PETER The problem is not whether business will survive in competition with business, but whether any busin...
LAURENCE J. MCGINLEY You can't cross the sea merely by standing and staring at the water. Don't let yourself indulge in v...
LAURENCE PETER (1919—1990) When you steal from one author, it's plagiarism; if you steal from many, it's research.
LAWRENCE J. PETER The key is to focus on the details of individual lives. Kids imitate one another, their parents, and...
PETER J. RICHERSON Culture is (mostly) information stored in human brains, and gets transmitted from brain to brain by ...
PETER J. RICHERSON Show some respect. They were your grandparents. -Batman
Just names and dusty frames on the wall...
PETER J. TOMASI Conspiracy theory, like causality, works fantastically well as an explanatory model but only if you ...
PETER J. CARROLL A novel in which the reader will ask many questions concerning Mayan antiquity.
PETER J. WETZELAER It is a mistake to consider any belief more liberated than another. It is the possibility of change ...
PETER J. CARROLL The starry-eyed idealists of today have submerged their critical faculties beneath a tidal wave of s...
PETER J. CARROLL (Q: From an outsider’s perspective, what you call “chaos magick” has a lot of rules, disciplin...
PETER J. CARROLL There is no part of one’s beliefs about oneself which cannot be modified by sufficiently powerful ...
PETER J. CARROLL Do you use 'True Will' as an excuse to do nothing?

Have you declared yourself enlightened...
PETER J. CARROLL And as he sat upon the Mount of Olives, the disciples came unto him privately, saying, 'Tell us, whe...
PETER J. TANOUS There are two main jobs in acting - the first one is to be a good actor, and the second one is to co...
LAURENCE FOX The Second Amendment does protect the right to people to possess weapons for self-defense in the hom...
LAURENCE TRIBE As a child growing up in San Francisco in the 1950s, I sometimes met insults when I ventured outside...
LAURENCE YEP There are a lot of things that fit on a bumper sticker in terms of either liberty or equality or pro...
LAURENCE TRIBE The world does not pay for what a person knows, but it pays for what a person does with what he know...
LAURENCE LEE The desire of knowledge, like the thirst for riches, increases ever with the acquisition of it.
LAURENCE STERNE There is nothing so awkward as courting a woman whilst she is making sausages.
LAURENCE STERNE When men grow virtuous in their old age they are merely making a sacrifice to God of the devil's le...
LAURENCE STERNE Let to-morrow take care of to-morrow, Leave things of the future to fate; What's the use to an...
LAURENCE STERNE These things by reason of our friendship I have not hesitated glo to communicate.
LAURENCE STERNE It is the duty of a good shepherd to shear, not to skin his sheep.
LAURENCE STERNE He found a city of bricks, he left one of marble.
LAURENCE STERNE The most accomplished way of using books is to serve them as some people do lords; learn their title...
LAURENCE STERNE Most of the fiction on the California Gold Rush makes it sound like one grand, boyish adventure. How...
LAURENCE YEP They shall not grow old, as we that are left grow old; Age shall not weary them, nor the years con...
LAURENCE BINYON Love is active, not passive. It is our love for one another, for Mother Earth, for our fellow creatu...
LAURENCE OVERMIRE Look into the world
LAURENCE STERNE Two more years were to go by before I knew anything about William Blake. Many years later, when his ...
LAURENCE HOUSMAN The world does not pay for what a person knows. But it pays for what a person does with what he know...
LAURENCE LEE Respect for ourselves guides our morals; respect for others guides our manners
LAURENCE STERNE I wish either my father or my mother, or indeed both of them, as they were in duty both equally boun...
LAURENCE STERNE Pain and pleasure, like light and darkness, succeed each other.
LAURENCE STERNE We lose the right of complaining sometimes, by denying something, but this often triples its force.
LAURENCE STERNE For every ten jokes you acquire a hundred enemies.
LAURENCE STERNE 'Tis no extravagant arithmetic to say, that for every ten jokes, thou hast got an hundred enemies; a...
LAURENCE STERNE I am persuaded that every time a man smiles, but much more so when he laughs, it adds something to t...
LAURENCE STERNE I've played a lot of bad guys, 'cause that was the only work I could get. People saw my face and wen...
LAURENCE FISHBURNE First, whenever a man talks loudly against religion, always suspect that it is not his reason, but h...
LAURENCE STERNE When ever a person talks loudly against religion, always suspect that it is not their reason, but th...
LAURENCE STERNE Positiveness is an absurd foible. If you are in the right, it lessens your triumph; if in the wrong,...
LAURENCE STERNE There are worse occupations in this world than feeling a woman's pulse.
LAURENCE STERNE People who overly take care of their health are like misers. They hoard up a treasure which they nev...
LAURENCE STERNE Only the brave know how to forgive; it is the most refined and generous pitch of virtue human nature...
LAURENCE STERNE Men tire themselves in pursuit of rest.
LAURENCE STERNE So long as a man rides his Hobby-Horse peaceably and quietly along the King's highway, and neither c...
LAURENCE STERNE