Sometimes, something will startle me, and I secretly hope it's a zombie.

Being scared can keep a man from getting killed, and often makes a better fighter of him

Oregon has EVERYTHING- except a decent speed limit.

Red-skinned potato salad? Seriously, could you degrade my people anymore?

Worst game ever: Find the Tampon String.

I wish I was a man. I have since I was like 10 years old. And not because I'm trans-gendered or sexual or whatever, but because being this titty-carrying life factory that bleeds all the time is no fucking fun.