Somewhere it is written that parents who are critical of other people's children and publicly admit they can do better are asking for it.

If you can't make it better, you can laugh at it.

One thing they never tell you about child raising is that for the rest of your life, at the drop of a hat, you are expected to know your child's name and how old he or she is.

It goes without saying that you should never have more children than you have car windows

A child develops individuality long before he develops taste. I have seen my kid straggle into the kitchen in the morning with outfits that need only one accessory -- an empty bottle of gin.

God created man, but I could do better.