Sorry I'm late," Ms. Egami said to the class. She dropped her papers, which scattered in that special way papers do when one is running late.

Then it suddenly and theatrically began to clean itself in the way cats do when they want you to know what a big deal you aren't.

What part of Canada are you from, honey?"

"THE LEFT PART," said Jay.

I spy, with my little eye, something that starts with ... G."
"Sausages.

Can I see some ID?"

"WE DON'T HAVE ID," said Jay, loudly. "'CAUSE WE'RE CANADIAN. WE DON'T USE ID...THERE. AND THAT'S WHY WE LOOK SO YOUNG. 'CAUSE WE'RE CANADIAN."

Doug stiffened. Jay sounded crazy. Doug tried looking extra sane to even things out.

Your chemistry high school teacher lied to you when they told you that there was such a thing as a vacuum, that you could take space and move every particle out of it.