Stand-up comedy and poverty. Those were my two main endeavors.

I found a gray hair one of my testicles the today. No, it wasn't mine, but it's frightening.

I found a gray hair on one of my testicles today. No, it wasn't mine, but it's frightening.

Stand-up comedy is a raunchy profession.

There's a lot of guys up there who like wearing a suit or try doing jokes that they think will play to a certain crowd, or maybe get them corporate work. I've always written jokes that I would want to hear. So, I'm trying to entertain myself more than anything.

Let me tell you about gays in the military. I don't want any gay people hanging around me while I'm killing kids. I just don't want to see it.