Suppose neutral angels were able to talk, Yahweh and Lucifer – God and Satan, to use their popular titles – into settling out of court. What would be the terms of the compromise? Specifically, how would they divide the assets of their early kingdom? Would God be satisfied the loaves and fishes and itty-bitty thimbles of Communion wine, while Satan to have the red-eye gravy, eighteen-ounce New York Stakes, and buckets of chilled champagne? Would God really accept twice-a-month lovemaking for procreative purposes and give Satan the all night, no-holds-barred, nasty “can’t-get-enough-of-you” hot-as-hell-fucks? Think about it. Would Satan get New Orleans, Bangkok, and the French Riviera and God get Salt Lake City? Satan get ice hockey, God get horseshoes? God get bingo, Satan get stud poker? Satan get LSD; God, Prozac? God get Neil Simon; Satan Oscar Wilde?
Tom Robbins
Related Satan is the sower of compromise—leaving a bit of God’s truth into the dirty rags of sin. Satan ... BILLY GRAHAM I like to open for a band as it brings on sort of a challenge and it makes things more interesting. ... KELLY JONES Consequently, if you believe God made Satan, you must realize that all Satan's power comes from God ... ANNE RICE Radiation has properties of both God and Satan. Like God as the correct exposures give excellent hea... STEVEN MAGEE In Rwanda, one person's God is another person's Satan -Thérèse Nyirabayovu KARL MAIER Zeena's first published sermon at 7 years old. From “The Cloven Hoof” periodical, 1970, San Fran... ZEENA SCHRECK Had Satan not set himself in opposition to God . . . there would have been no need for God to send H... BILLY GRAHAM God invented concubinage, Satan marriage. FRANCIS PICABIA If you seek for supreme predator, go find God. He hunts the prime killer of mankind, the Satan... TOBA BETA The will is a beast of burden. If God mounts it, it wishes and goes as God wills; if Satan mounts it... MARTIN LUTHER When God closes a door Satan is there to sneak you out a window. ERIN SACKETT Satan had been making admiring remarks about certain of the Creator's sparkling industries -- remark... MARK TWAIN After a long time and many questions, Satan said, "The spider kills the fly, and eats it; the bird k... MARK TWAIN Being your own god really has nothing to do with Satan. MARILYN MANSON God is love, but Satan does that thing you like with his tongue. --BUMPER STICKER DARYNDA JONES It is better to be slave to righteousness of God than sin of satan. LAILAH GIFTY AKITA satan reasons likes a man, but god thinks of eternity RAYAN BLACK God's green earth can no longer sustain itself for those who worship the golden calf. Those who have... STEPHEN BIRO Always remember, no matter how big you get in life, God is still bigger; when you feel to be at your... ANTHONY LICCIONE Periods of time belong to Satan but eternity belongs to God. JAIME CONTRERAS Whenever you get red in the face, whenever you raise your voice, whenever you get hot under the coll... SOURCE UNKNOWN There are in every man, always, two simultaneous allegiances, one to God, the other to Satan. Invoca... CHARLES BAUDELAIRE Satan would have you believe that happiness comes only as you surrender to his enticements, but one ... EZRA TAFT BENSON Disappointment is inevitable. But to become discouraged, there's a choice I make. God would neve... CHARLES STANLEY But he turned, and said unto Peter, Get thee behind me, Satan:
thou art an offence unto me: for t... BIBLE Giving thanks is that: making the canyon of pain into a megaphone to proclaim the ultimate goodness ... ANN VOSKAMP God cannot use you as He wishes until you come into the fullness of His Glory. Do not get alarmed, m... GEORGE WASHINGTON CARVER When you is precious to God, you become important to Satan. RON HALL Get thee behind me, Satan. BIBLE Get thee behind me, Satan! P.C. CAST You twitch as the darkness moves in and out of you. It crawls up your spine and nestles in your brai... STEPHEN BIRO Wnen Satan does his worst, God does His best." JAIME CONTRERAS God requires his servants to walk in the light, and not cover their eyes that they may not discern t... ELLEN G. WHITE Satan cannot win. Why not? Because he has denied God's sovereignty and disobeyed God's law. ... GARY NORTH Satan, the leader or dictator of devils, is the opposite, not of God, but of Michael. C. S. LEWIS If I created a new depravity I would be a priestess, while my imitators would founder, after my reig... RACHILDE The more God is glorified the more man is energic and the more satan is weak. INDONESIA123 Pray often; for prayer is a shield to the soul, a sacrifice to God, and a scourge for Satan JOHN BUNYAN Poor God, how often He is blamed for all the suffering in the world. It’s like praising Satan... E.A. BUCCHIANERI The Id and the Superego are more scientific ways of considering the Devil and God, or your personal ... STEPHEN BIRO Satan tries to counterfeit the work of God, and by doing this, he may deceive many. To make us lose ... DIETER F. UCHTDORF Normally, we see characters that have God complexes. How interesting, I thought, it would be to capi... ERIQ LA SALLE God's truth judges created things out of love, and Satan's truth judges them out of envy and... DIETRICH BONHOEFFER There is no neutral ground in the universe; every square inch, every split second, is claimed by God... C.S. LEWIS Ministers of God's choosing are engaged in a great work. They are warring not merely against men... ELLEN G. WHITE There's a big difference on being wise and being crafty. The former is the attribute of God, and the... MICHAEL BASSEY JOHNSON There is no other way to determine the difference between the will of God and the crafts of satan...... ISRAELMORE AYIVOR Now there was a day when the sons of God came to present themselves before the LORD, and Satan came ... BIBLE Our god's name is Abraxas and he is God and Satan and he contains both the luminous and the dark wor... HERMANN HESSE Atheists have known so much that they have known no more_ they're masters of fools with satan as the... KIMTO OCHE EMMANUEL If Satan exists, and if he is clever at promoting Evil, then would he not agitate one section of man... STEPHEN PAUL LATHER The devil can get you through your flesh. He knows the button to press on your flesh and have a way ... ISRAELMORE AYIVOR One of Satan's most deceptive and powerful ways of defeating us is to get us to believe a lie. A... CHARLES STANLEY The end of all things is at hand; that Satan's kingdom will be destroyed, and Satan chained down... JOANNA SOUTHCOTT This is God's world, not Satan's. Christians are the lawful heirs, not non-Christians. GARY NORTH There are in every man, at every hour, two simultaneous postulations, one towards God, the other tow... CHARLES BAUDELAIRE The battle on the cross reveals just how little Satan understands God; he did not see plan B coming ... FELIX WANTANG The moment you have a self at all, there is a possibility of putting yourself first - wanting to be ... C.S. LEWIS God has ordained that Satan have a long leash with God holding on to the leash because he knows that... JOHN PIPER I'm not trying to write your program with Satan. So don't try to rewrite my program with God. SUSIE L HILL And he called them unto him, and said unto them in parables, How can Satan cast out Satan? / And if ... BIBLE Christianity may be good and Satanism evil. Under the Constitution, however, both are neutral. This ... CARL SAGAN God says to me with kind of a smile, "Hey how would you like to be God awhile And steer the ... SHEL SILVERSTEIN God’s plan is to get back the earth that has been given over to Satan by man SUNDAY ADELAJA How should I know?" said Alice, surprised at her own courage. "It's no business of mine." The Q... LEWIS CARROLL If Satan wasn't around, churches would go out of business. MARILYN MANSON America is the great Satan, the wounded snake. AYATOLLAH KHOMEINI We, like the people of Israel, would like to think we get to name God. By naming God, we hope to get... STANLEY HAUERWAS Satan is screaming lies over us all day long. And God whispers the truth is a still, small voice. So... STEVEN CURTIS CHAPMAN God be with you.' 'Thanks, but I think, in battle, I prefer Satan’s company. ROBERT THIER Where God is like the sun, the Devil is like a raindrop. There is no 'God vs. Satan' because they ar... CRISS JAMI I could well believe that it is God's intention, since we have refused milder remedies, to compel us... C.S. LEWIS I've gotten letters, but mostly from Bible-belt types who say, you must be Satan! They come right ou... GEORGE A. ROMERO The most classic horror tale of this latter type is the Old Testament story of Job, who becomes huma... STEPHEN KING So what have you guys been up to?” “Nothing, worshipping Satan. DANIEL CLOWES There are dozens of references to God in the Scriptures for every one to the figure of Satan. This r... JOHN ORTBERG Everybody is out of the closet except Christians. Satan has set up no trespassing signs and the prob... ALFONZO SURRETT Perhaps it is true that, by some definitions, Satan is more religious than God. Many of the particul... CRISS JAMI You enter a state of controlled passivity, you relax your grip and accept that even if your declared... IAN MCEWAN Because misery, and degradation, and death, and nothing that God or Satan could inflict would have p... EMILY BRONTë Satan has declared war on motherhood. He knows that those who rock the cradle can rock his earthly e... SHERI L. DEW Pandemonium, the high capital / Of Satan and his peers. JOHN MILTON ..And i can't get you out of my mind, God knows how hard I've tried TONI BRAXTON We can ask ourselves why we invent God, and then, ten minutes later, we invent Satan - why? Because ... MADS MIKKELSEN Every war results from the struggle for markets and spheres of influence, and every war is sold to t... ROBERT ANTON WILSON Satan will tempt you with many things in life, but the most powerful is the temptation to be gratefu... SHANNON L. ALDER But you'd get arguments from all kinds of people that the Bible has got to be perfect. That God woul... JIM BUTCHER Yeah,” I said. “What is that? A bird? "It’s the swan,” he said. “Wow. A school with a swan... JOHN GREEN For Satan finds some mischief still For idle hands to do. ISAAC WATTS You know, I’ve always thought it was a tactical mistake for God to love us in the aggregate, when ... MARY DORIA RUSSELL You can two-time satan But you can't lick the Holy Ghost. YUSEF KOMUNYAKAA Your fear is the greatest tool you will ever give to Satan. Overcoming your fear is your greatest to... NIK RIPKEN It is a horrible thing that those who oppose Christ oppose themselves and in their opposition to Chr... C R LORD Some revelations have been reserved for the last days for God to accomplish His original plan. PST ADELAJA SUNDAY It would be difficult for me not to conclude that the most perfect type of masculine beauty is Satan... CHARLES BAUDELAIRE You loved me-then what right had you to leave me? What right-answer me-for the poor fancy you felt f... EMILY BRONTë who think Satan needs to be at City Hall. CHRIS KING Solitude is the playfield of Satan. VLADIMIR NABOKOV Except for one breakdown, we played real well. MIROSLAV SATAN I'm an Islander now. I don't really care about what's going on over there. MIROSLAV SATAN
More Tom Robbins
There were no mail-order catalogues in 1492. Marco Polo's journal was the wish book of Renaissance E... TOM ROBBINS What bothers most critics of my work is the goofiness. One reviewer said I need to make up my mind i... TOM ROBBINS Look, America is no more a democracy than Russia is a Communist state. The governments of the U.S. a... TOM ROBBINS To be or not to be isn't the question. The question is how to prolong being. TOM ROBBINS If little else, the brain is an educational toy. TOM ROBBINS It's never too late to have a happy childhood. TOM ROBBINS Just because you're naked doesn't mean you're sexy. Just because you're cynical doesn't mean you're ... TOM ROBBINS You knows dat in New Orleans is not morning 'til dee sun come up. TOM ROBBINS When we're incomplete, we're always searching for somebody to complete us. When, after a few years o... TOM ROBBINS When two people meet and fall in love, there's a sudden rush of magic. Magic is just naturally prese... 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