Television's Mr. Filth: that's me.

We don't want the television script good. We want it Tuesday.

What you see on television, the pictures, the victims and the damage. It's all there — but then add some to it.

A bad act done will fester and create in its own way. It's not only goodness that creates. Bad things create. They have their own yeast.

The trouble with words is that you never know whose mouths they've been in.

I also believe in cigarettes, cholesterol, alcohol, carbon monoxide, masturbation, the Arts Council, nuclear weapons, the Daily Telegraph, and not properly labeling fatal poisons, but above all else, most of all, I believe in the one thing that can come out of people's mouths: vomit.