When we walked out there, everything under the mound was dry. But there's that layer of two inches t...
JEFF FERRELL We didn't play well in a couple aspects of the game. Against McLean we didn't play defense and at So...
JEFF FERRELL It seems sure to backfire if the intention was to silence their critics.
JEFF FERRELL There's really no gain the $300 increase incentive they're making about the same money and they're r...
JEFF FERRELL The problem is if we allow, especially new people hired the option to whether they chose to be a par...
JEFF FERRELL The first thing that comes to mind is that these are African Americans and how will they be treated....
JEFF FERRELL In some ways this is comparable to the close of the Civil War, or the Dust Bowl, but we have greater...
JEFF FERRELL I have only been funny about seventy four per cent of the time. Yes I think that is right. Seventy-f...
WILL FERRELL The funny guy doesn't get the girl until later in life. High school, college, everyone still wan...
WILL FERRELL One of my first memories of being a kid was, 'I want to have a real job when I grow up.' And...
WILL FERRELL By the time I was ready for college, I didn't know what I wanted to do. I think I secretly wante...
WILL FERRELL Saturday Night Live is such a comedy boot camp in a way, because you get to work with so many differ...
WILL FERRELL America is all about speed. Hot, nasty, badass speed.
WILL FERRELL I always find it actually funny that the analysis is that the characters I play in comedies are the ...
WILL FERRELL I've never been a conceited person or cocky, never felt boastful, but I always had a sense of se...
WILL FERRELL My dad turned me onto Peter Sellers as a kid. I loved the fact that he was a unique combination of b...
WILL FERRELL When I was a kid, 'Land of the Lost' was my favorite show, just because it was - in the land...
WILL FERRELL Oftentimes, even as a little kid, I would get up before anyone else. My brother would still be sleep...
WILL FERRELL I always just forced myself to do crazy things in public. In college I would push an overhead projec...
WILL FERRELL I was never a class clown or anything like that, but I do remember being in the first grade and my t...
WILL FERRELL I've got no dark secrets, I wasn't beaten up, my parents were kind to me and there was a low...
WILL FERRELL For people who have done comedy after a certain point in time, I think there's a base level of, ...
WILL FERRELL I've always loved watching the news on TV. As a kid, I loved watching Walter Cronkite, for some ...
WILL FERRELL James Caan told me at the end of filming 'Elf' that he had been waiting through the whole fi...
WILL FERRELL 'Elf' has become this big holiday movie, and I remember running around the streets of New Yo...
WILL FERRELL How classy is it for me to wear these pink tennis shoes with my tux?
WILL FERRELL I'd love to become like Bill Murray, who was so funny on Saturday Night Live and has gone on to do s...
WILL FERRELL When you hear that you're going to be working with a first-time director, sometimes that can be ...
WILL FERRELL Enjoy the little fun things - like taking your kids to school - before they're all grown up.
WILL FERRELL I'm a bit of a gourmet chef. I love cooking - mostly Thai food.
WILL FERRELL There's always going to be someone as funny as you or funnier.
WILL FERRELL Members of the Senate and House, if they want to send troops into war, should be forced to send a fa...
WILL FERRELL When a dramatic actor does a funny film, people are like, 'Wonderful! I didn't know he was f...
WILL FERRELL I'm a Progressive. Much in the same way our founding fathers - who, oddly enough, wouldn't g...
WILL FERRELL I loved the structure of the whole movie—these two parallel stories which were illustrating the po...
WILL FERRELL I'd love to become like Bill Murray, who was so funny on 'Saturday Night Live' and has g...
WILL FERRELL I left 'Saturday Night Live' without a film to go to, and I'd filmed 'Old School'...
WILL FERRELL We don't do it to disrespect the other team or other wrestler. I need to prepare for the states and ...
TOM FERRELL Inappropriate behavior makes me laugh.
WILL FERRELL All you have in comedy, in general, is just going with your instincts. You can only hope that other ...
WILL FERRELL I definitely wanted to leave "Saturday Night Live" at a time when I still enjoyed doing the show. I ...
WILL FERRELL I love playing the macho guy who looks like an idiot.
WILL FERRELL We were brothers off the field, but there was no love lost on it. We fought like cats and dogs. Wes ...
RICK FERRELL Molly Shannon and I used to always talk about that we really felt strongly that we were comedic acto...
WILL FERRELL I've always wanted to sail around the world in a handmade boat, and I built a boat.
WILL FERRELL In junior high P.E., I was way too shy to take a shower in front of the other kids. It was a horribl...
WILL FERRELL It's rare that you get to actually cast the person that you are using as the type of actor you want ...
WILL FERRELL Whom does the prime minister prefer? Tinky Winkey, Dipsy, Po, or La-La?
WILL FERRELL A lot of people have gotten into comedy because of certain influences in their lives or events that ...
WILL FERRELL All you have in comedy, in general, is just going with your instincts. You can only hope that other ...
WILL FERRELL You always want to do a good job and hopefully, I won't be in something that looks and feels like I'...
WILL FERRELL One of the challenges you will face is finding a job in our depressed economy, ... In fact, the chan...
WILL FERRELL I don't know if there's one individual driver. Ricky is kinda all of the drivers, and none of them a...
WILL FERRELL It's important that this character is played real, or straight, the whole way through and not winkin...
WILL FERRELL I think a lot of the instincts you have doing comedy are really the same for doing drama, in that it...
WILL FERRELL The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air: The Complete Second Season
WILL FERRELL I would tend to shy away from that, only because hosting those type of things is an extremely diffic...
WILL FERRELL That's what you love about the stories, he just gets into all this mischief and goes into all the pl...
WILL FERRELL James Caan told me at the end of filming 'Elf' that he had been waiting through the whole film for m...
WILL FERRELL Often times I'm confronted with a quote that I don't remember saying. So, on one hand it's very flat...
WILL FERRELL It's amazing what they turn up in those archives
WILL FERRELL I will watch a movie that is quote unquote dark and not get the qualification of what is dark and wh...
WILL FERRELL You don't give a monkey a latte.
WILL FERRELL At the end of the movie I gave Bob Newhart a headshot of mine with tape over the eyes. So that he'd ...
WILL FERRELL giggling, 'You're so cute!'
WILL FERRELL You tend to get reluctant to talk about anything until the day before filming.
WILL FERRELL The only thing I can attribute it to, in leaving the show, is making the right choices or having the...
WILL FERRELL I'm the minority in my house sometimes. My wife is Swedish, and we go to Sweden and everyone is ...
WILL FERRELL Aren't we all striving to be overpaid for what we do?
WILL FERRELL It was a barn-burner right until the very end, and we managed to come out on top. That was the harde...
DON FERRELL We really need to cut down on our own mistakes, use our heads, and start playing with discipline. Ou...
DON FERRELL We shook off the rust early and had one of our better performances of the year.
DON FERRELL It was a really good day for us. We played a top squad and really dominated. It was the perfect warm...
DON FERRELL This is a great group that has done great things for this program. They are a huge part of our succe...
DON FERRELL Panic is never your best first option.
SUZANNE FERRELL I did plenty of jobs that I hated. I was a bank teller and terrible at it. I parked cars, a valet. I...
WILL FERRELL When I first started doing sketch comedy, I promised myself that if I were ever to have any success ...
WILL FERRELL I think 'SNL' was such a unique thing because it was material you created and you're ver...
WILL FERRELL In the fourth grade, I learned how to fake walking into a door. You know, you hit it with your hand ...
WILL FERRELL When I was ten, I wrote an essay on what I would be when I grew up and said I would be a professiona...
WILL FERRELL Often times I'm confronted with a quote that I don't remember saying. So, on one hand it'...
WILL FERRELL I grew up in an entertainment family, and so I saw how susceptible you are to the ups and downs of t...
WILL FERRELL It's tough for me to get rid of clothes. I grew up in a household with a limited budget and we r...
WILL FERRELL I don't really have aspirations to be Tom Hanks.
WILL FERRELL If you are going to wrestle a bear, try to stay away from all fish oil products, you know. I mean it...
WILL FERRELL The lottery has become the white noise of society. It doesn't stand out as it once would have. As lo...
FERRELL GUILLORY That's what eventually pushed North Carolina over the divide. It gave Governor Easley an argument: W...
FERRELL GUILLORY In general, what they allow folks like me to do is take what I've learned and the resources of the u...
FERRELL GUILLORY They are a way for a big university to enhance its research capacity, enhance its ability to discuss...
FERRELL GUILLORY In times when North Carolina needs more money for education and roads and health care, we certainly ...
FERRELL BLOUNT Sadly, it appears that the N.C. House of Representatives is for sale. It is an institution where eve...
FERRELL BLOUNT He calls it helping his team. What he is really doing is selling out the people of North Carolina.
FERRELL BLOUNT It'd be great to be in a position where you can make choices regardless of money. My tastes are ...
WILL FERRELL These classes are very much popular. Parents are almost requiring that people who are taking care of...
JASON FERRELL Our hearts were racing as we stood there watching Jimmy at the line, but we knew he could do it beca...
JASON FERRELL I hadn't been driving to the basket all game, so they didn't expect it when I starting doing it in o...
JASON FERRELL It's crucial for us to give ourselves scoring chances on fast breaks. It all starts with our defense...
JASON FERRELL What they have to offer is more valuable to parents because of the training, education and knowledge...
JASON FERRELL Our goal is to train people to prepare for and prevent emergencies.
JASON FERRELL We played with intensity and we're a good team when we play this way.
JASON FERRELL Something was in her mouth. Sami's tongue slid along the edges of something plastic. Flat, low ridge...
SUZANNE FERRELL Unrest has entered the hearts of men. When unrest is left to fester, Chaos will soon follow.
S.D. FERRELL I guess ultimately a lot of comedians just wanna be taken seriously.
WILL FERRELL It strikes me as a sound, honest statement for a prospective voter to say: 'Look, I haven't ...
JEFF GREENFIELD I do believe we have voter fraud in America.
JEFF SESSIONS Where I grew up, I could be a punk rocker and a jock. But in college, it became apparent that those ...
JEFF AMENT I cherish my privacy, and woe betide anyone who tries to interfere with that.
JEFF BECK Richard Donner's friendship and guidance showed me that there's more to life than being an a...
JEFF COHEN That's the great thing about a tractor. You can't really hear the phone ring.
JEFF FOXWORTHY Market leadership can translate directly to higher revenue, higher profitability, greater capital ve...
JEFF BEZOS We expect all our businesses to have a positive impact on our top and bottom lines. Profitability is...
JEFF BEZOS If you're competitor-focused, you have to wait until there is a competitor doing something. Bein...
JEFF BEZOS It's not an experiment if you know it's going to work.
JEFF BEZOS Life's too short to hang out with people who aren't resourceful.
JEFF BEZOS What's dangerous is not to evolve.
JEFF BEZOS I write for kids because I think the most interesting (and most humorous) stories come from people&#...
JEFF KINNEY People are roasting each other at parties, at work events, around the fire. It's so fun. People ...
JEFF ROSS If you can't tolerate critics, don't do anything new or interesting.
JEFF BEZOS Have you ever seen people so ugly that you have to get someone else to verify it?
JEFF FOXWORTHY 'Diary of a Wimpy Kid' is my first book, and it's the fulfillment of a life-long dream. ...
JEFF KINNEY I know Elon, we're very like minded in many ways. We're not conceptual twins. One thing I wa...
JEFF BEZOS Tyria's a big world. We get a grand tour in 'Ghosts of Ascalon.' We're in Divinity&#...
JEFF GRUBB When the blood of thousands of Americans is shed, the impact lingers. For a generation after the Civ...
JEFF GREENFIELD You obviously don't really forget how to play the old songs; you just don't have to spend so...
JEFF TWEEDY I think frugality drives innovation, just like other constraints do. One of the only ways to get out...
JEFF BEZOS Most cynics are really crushed romantics: they've been hurt, they're sensitive, and their cy...
JEFF BRIDGES It's not about finding relevance or perfection or imperfection in objects, but it's that you...
JEFF KOONS There's kind of a Zen aspect to bowling. The pins are either staying up or down before you even ...
JEFF BRIDGES The beauty of the Internet is that anybody can be a broadcaster now.
JEFF ZUCKER We just got a tour bus. I didn't know tour buses could be this nice. It's just me, Brian Han...
JEFF DUNHAM When I was growing up, my house was filled with books. My mother was an educator, and my father was ...
JEFF KINNEY Some states like Nebraska have thus far responsibly managed their budgets, even in tough times, and ...
JEFF FORTENBERRY Puberty was the main culprit in ending my acting career. I went from being kind of this chunky littl...
JEFF COHEN The Census Bureau can ask citizens very invasive questions, and if they don't respond, the gover...
JEFF DUNCAN While the Census Bureau already has a legal obligation to keep people's information confidential...
JEFF DUNCAN Monkeys can't talk, stupid!
JEFF KINNEY What Richard and Mildred Loving did was, by their nature, not by any calculus, they separated themse...
JEFF NICHOLS I think Vice is vastly overrated. And I think that if you are interested in reaching young males, wh...
JEFF ZUCKER Why - because as a oil and gas small business owner - I know if someone is not doing their job, they...
JEFF LANDRY Protestations of indifference to higher office are hard to take seriously when the 'non-candidat...
JEFF GREENFIELD One of the pillars of backward thinking in America is the idea that you can have jobs or you can hav...
JEFF GOODELL I'm actually the son of Mary Guibert. My mother was born in the Panama Canal zone and came to Am...
JEFF BUCKLEY I certainly try to avoid getting bogged down in forensics. There is certainly a whole lot of other w...
JEFF LINDSAY I love the ocean. Boats, not so much.
JEFF GOLDBLUM You know, I remember Career Day in high school. I remember plumbers and lawyers... I don't remem...
JEFF FOXWORTHY Sensitivity isn't being wimpy. It's about being so painfully aware that a flea landing on a ...
JEFF BUCKLEY It is very difficult to get people to focus on the most important things when you're in boom tim...
JEFF BEZOS Find something in life that you love doing. If you make a lot of money, that's a bonus, and if y...
JEFF FOXWORTHY People can transcend and overcome their differences and be very easily bonded.
JEFF FORTENBERRY If I'm on form and I'm not being bothered too much by mental problems or whatever, I can whi...
JEFF BECK It's not a born-again thing; it was a peaceful, really, really cool moment where I just felt tha...
JEFF FISHER For the first time I could remember, I felt weak, woozy and stupid— like a human-being. Like a ver...
JEFF LINDSAY There is no such thing as political science, but there are tenancies so strong that they might as we...
JEFF GREENFIELD Stop trying to treat music like it's a tennis shoe, something to be branded. If the music indust...
JEFF TWEEDY For special wrestlers, there's somewhere else to go - as long as you're not brainwashed by t...
JEFF HARDY From the industry's point of view, the problem is not that coal companies blast the top off moun...
JEFF GOODELL I'm lying in my bed, blanket is warm, this body will never keep me safe from harm. I still feel ...
JEFF BUCKLEY I am not going to approve the home-screening format for my film just carte blanche in lieu of a thea...
JEFF NICHOLS Editorial pages all say, 'Well, the other guy has a point, too. It remains to be seen how this w...
JEFF MACNELLY I am not the Jeff Sessions my detractors have tried to create. I am not a racist. I am not insensiti...
JEFF SESSIONS I've never been jealous. Not even when my dad finished the fifth grade a year before I did.
JEFF FOXWORTHY Some of these people need ten years of therapy --ten sentences of mine do not equal ten years of the...
JEFF ZASLOW But there is a limit to thinking about even a small piece of something monumental. You still see the...
JEFF VANDERMEER I am not shy about admitting my modest talents. For example, I am happy to admit that I am better th...
JEFF LINDSAY You can't do everything but you can do something!
JEFF DIXON Acting is nothing more or less than playing. The idea is to humanize life.
JEFF GOLDBLUM Cats are smarter than dogs. You can not get eight cats to pull a sled through snow.
JEFF VALDEZ Hardware: the parts of a computer that can be kicked.
JEFF PESIS Two monologues do not make a dialogue.
JEFF DALY Change happens in the boiler room of our emotions... so find out how to light their fires.
JEFF DEWAR We are not put on this earth for ourselves, but are placed here for each other. If you are there alw...
JEFF WARNER I've never been jealous. Not even when my dad finished the fifth grade a year before I did.
JEFF FOXWORTHY Do you remember how slowly the days passed when you were a child? An 80-mile car trip seemed endless...
JEFF DAVIDSON The beaten path is the safest, but the traffics terrible.
JEFF TAYLOR What are the best times to reflect on the course of your life? Whenever you are near water, such as ...
JEFF DAVIDSON Ask yourself, If I had only sixty seconds on the stage, what would I absolutely have to say to get m...
JEFF DEWAR The constant dilemma of the information age is that our ability to gathera sea of data greatly excee...
JEFF DAVIDSON We live in an age when pizza gets to your home before the police.
JEFF ARDER When a heart breaks it also opens -Jeff Arch- screenwriter.
JEFF ARCH Two monologues do not make a dialogue.
JEFF DALY If you ever start feeling like you have the goofiest, craziest, most dysfunctional family in the wor...
JEFF FOXWORTHY You think Nature is some Disney movie? Nature is a killer. Nature is a bitch. It's feeding time out ...
JEFF MELVOIN The law is not so much carved in stone as it is written in water, flowing in and out with the tide.
JEFF MELVOIN Cats are smarter than dogs. You can't get eight cats to pull a sled through snow.
JEFF VALDEZ George Washington had a vision for this country. Was it three days of uninterrupted shopping?
JEFF MELVOIN My whole career can be summed up with 'Ignorance is bliss.' When you do not know better, you do not ...
JEFF FOXWORTHY Sexually,we are all competing for the same seat on the bus and the thing that holds it together is t...
JEFF MELVOIN When people are committed to things, and the world view they have is no longer in alignment with our...
JEFF BAENA There are so many books I love for different reasons. For superhero stuff, I always go back to Alan ...
JEFF LEMIRE I like Donald. I guess I shouldn't call him that. I like President Trump. He's affable. He&#...
JEFF ZUCKER If you only do things where you know the answer in advance, your company goes away.
JEFF BEZOS I think we're programmed for hardship. In my experience, human beings are happiest when they'...
JEFF CARLSON Kids can sniff out when they are being preached to, and they don't like it. So while my books ar...
JEFF KINNEY There's also a lot of gritty Americana type of bands. I actually have a lot of Britpop on my iPo...
JEFF VANDERMEER With a nation at war against terrorism and our men and women on the front line defending our homelan...
JEFF MILLER The funny thing about 'Take Shelter' is that a lot of people talk about how it was allegory ...
JEFF NICHOLS The basic social contract is that citizens agree to follow the law, pay their taxes, and devote thei...
JEFF SESSIONS The enemies of freedom are waging an all-out assault on the Second Amendment to the Constitution, wh...
JEFF DUNCAN I've always said that instead of watching a guy juggle seven things amazingly I would rather see...
JEFF DUNHAM I would go to bed every night and have dreams about having a time machine and somehow I'd have t...
JEFF MANGUM