That's the whole trouble. You can't ever find a place that's nice and peaceful, because there isn't any. You may think there is, but once you get there, when you're not looking, somebody'll sneak up and write "Fuck you" right under your nose. Try it sometime. I think, even, if I ever die, and they stick me in a cemetery, and I have a tombstone and all, it'll say "Holden Caulfield" on it, and then what year I was born and what year I died, and then right under that it'll say "Fuck you." I'm positive, in fact.
J.D. Salinger
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More J.D. Salinger
I was six when I saw that everything was God, and my hair stood up, and all, Teddy said. It was on a... J.D. SALINGER I've never seen such a bunch of apple-eaters. J.D. SALINGER What really knocks me out is a book that, when you're all done reading it, you wish the author that ... J.D. SALINGER This fall I think you're riding for—it's a special kind of fall, a horrible kind. The man falling ... J.D. SALINGER I'm the most terrific liar you ever saw in your life. It's awful. If I'm on my way to the store to b... J.D. SALINGER Anyway, I keep picturing all these little kids playing some game in this big field of rye and all. T... J.D. SALINGER You can't stop a teacher when they want to do something. They just do it. J.D. SALINGER Don't ever tell anybody anything. If you do, you start missing everybody. J.D. SALINGER If a girl looks swell when she meets you, who gives a damn if she's late? J.D. SALINGER That's the thing about girls. 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SALINGER She wasn't doing a thing that I could see, except standing there leaning on the balcony railing, hol... J.D. SALINGER You’d better get busy, though, buddy. The goddam sands run out on you every time You turn ar... J.D. SALINGER Why's it so sunny?" she repeated. Zooey observed her rather narrowly. "I bring the sun wherever... J.D. SALINGER Bessie: 'Why don't you get married?' Zooey: 'I like riding in trains too much. You never get to... J.D. SALINGER Listen, I don't care what you say about my race, creed, or religion, Fatty, but don't tell me I'm no... J.D. SALINGER My god, there's absolutely nothing tenth-rate about you, and yet you're up to your neck at this minu... J.D. SALINGER Your heart, Bessie, is an autumn garage. J.D. SALINGER People never notice anything. J.D. SALINGER It's no fun to be yellow. Maybe I'm not all yellow. I don't know. I think maybe I'm just partly yell... J.D. SALINGER Make sure you marry someone who laughs at the same things you do. J.D. 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SALINGER Boy, it began to rain like a bastard. In buckets, I swear to God. All the parents and mothers and ev... J.D. SALINGER People with red hair are supposed to get mad very easily,...,and he had very red hair. J.D. SALINGER Some guys spend days looking for something they lost. I never seem to have anything that if I lost i... J.D. SALINGER Then I’d throw my automatic down the elevator shaft-after I’d wiped off all the fingerprints and... J.D. SALINGER D.B. asked me what I thought about all this stuff I just finished telling you about. I didn't know w... J.D. SALINGER That’s what I liked about those nuns. You could tell, for one thing, that they never went anywhere... J.D. SALINGER I was surrounded by phonies...They were coming in the goddam window. J.D. SALINGER I don’t give a damn, except that I get bored sometimes when people tell me to act my age. Sometime... J.D. SALINGER I think that one of these days," he said, "you're going to have to find out where you want to go. An... J.D. SALINGER As much as anything else, it was a stare, not so paradoxically, of a privacy-lover who, once his pri... J.D. SALINGER Rudford lay on his back in the grass and watched great cotton clouds slip through the sky. Peculiarl... J.D. SALINGER چیزی که دنبالش میگشتم یه جور احساس خدافظی بود. میخوا... J.D. SALINGER Think about this truck. Make believe this is not the darkest, wettest, most miserable Army truck you... J.D. SALINGER I never really knew anything about friendship before I was in the Army. Did you Vince?" "Not a... J.D. SALINGER Unfortunately, here as elsewhere on this touching planet, imitation is the watchword and prestige th... J.D. SALINGER After I go out this door, I may only exist in the minds of all my acquaintances…I may be an orange... J.D. SALINGER I hate saying corny things like 'traveling incognito.' But when I' with somebody that's corny, I alw... J.D. SALINGER I hate saying corny things like "traveling incognito." But when I'm with somebody that's corny, I al... J.D. SALINGER If or when I do start going to an analyst, I hope to God he has the foresight to let a dermatologist... J.D. SALINGER You don't know how to talk to people you don't like. Don't love, really. You can't live in the world... J.D. SALINGER She wrote to him fairly regularly, from a paradise of triple exclamation points and inaccurate obser... J.D. SALINGER Give me a story that just makes me unreasonably vigilant. Keep me up till five only because all your... J.D. SALINGER I privately say to you, old friend... please accept from me this unpretentious bouquet of early-bloo... J.D. SALINGER Give me an honest con man any day. J.D. SALINGER You're lucky if you get time to sneeze in this goddam phenomenal world. J.D. SALINGER I don't know what good it is to know so much and be smart as whips and all if it doesn't make you ha... J.D. SALINGER I love you to pieces, distraction, etc. J.D. SALINGER I'm sick of not having the courage to be an absolute nobody. J.D. SALINGER It's partly true, too, but it isn't all true. People always think something's all true. J.D. SALINGER I'm sick of just liking people. I wish to God I could meet somebody I could respect. J.D. SALINGER Many, many men have been just as troubled morally and spiritually as you are right now. Happily, som... J.D. SALINGER I don’t think it would have all got me quite so down if just once in a while—just once in a whil... J.D. SALINGER And I have one of those very loud, stupid laughs. I mean if I ever sat behind myself in a movie or s... J.D. SALINGER This whole goddamn house stinks of ghosts. J.D. SALINGER The thing he was afraid of, he was afraid somebody'd say something smarter than he had. J.D. SALINGER He said he talked to Jesus all the time. Even when he was driving his car. That killed me. I just se... J.D. SALINGER Oh, I don’t know. That digression business got on my nerves. I don’t know. The trouble with me i... J.D. SALINGER John Keats / John Keats / John / Please put your scarf on. J.D. SALINGER I’ll read my books and I’ll drink coffee and I’ll listen to music, and I’ll bolt the door."<... J.D. SALINGER Catholics are always trying to find out if you're a Catholic. J.D. SALINGER When I'd originally loaded the car and held the door open for him, I'd had a passing impulse to pick... J.D. SALINGER I felt like praying or something, when I was in bed, but I couldn't do it. I can't always pray when ... J.D. SALINGER But you don't have to be a bad guy to depress somebody-you can be a good guy and do it. J.D. SALINGER He said you were the only one who was bitter about S.'s suicide and the only one who really forgave ... J.D. SALINGER These intellectual guys don't like to have an intellectual conversation with you unless they're runn... J.D. SALINGER If you had a million years to do it in, you couldn't rub out even half the "Fuck you" signs in the w... J.D. SALINGER It was that kind of a crazy afternoon, terrifically cold, and no sun out or anything, and you felt l... J.D. SALINGER Grand. There's a word I really hate. It's a phony. I could puke every time I hear it. J.D. SALINGER The best thing, though, in that museum was that everything always stayed right where it was. Nobody'... J.D. SALINGER People always clap for the wrong reasons. J.D. SALINGER People are always ruining things for you. J.D. SALINGER When you're dead, they really fix you up. I hope to hell when I do die somebody has sense enough to ... J.D. SALINGER I like it when somebody gets excited about something. It's nice. J.D. SALINGER is he crazy?" --Harcourt-Brace editor on Holden Caulfield J.D. SALINGER When I really worry about something, I don´t just fool around. I even have to go to the bathroom wh... J.D. SALINGER The thing is, it's really hard to be roommates with people if your suitcases are much better than th... J.D. SALINGER That digression business got on my nerves. I don't now. The trouble with me is, I like it whe... J.D. SALINGER It's 'If a body meet a body coming through the rye'!" old Phoebe said. "It's a poem. By Robert Burns... J.D. SALINGER the sentence im reading is terrific ... J.D. SALINGER I don’t even like old cars. I mean, they don’t even interest me at all. I'd rather have a goddam... J.D. SALINGER You never even worried with Jane, whether your hand was sweaty or not. All you knew was, you were ha... J.D. SALINGER Girls with their legs crossed, girls with their legs not crossed, girls with terrific legs, girls wi... J.D. SALINGER What I really felt like, though, was committing suicide. I felt like jumping out the window. I proba... J.D. SALINGER That's something that annoys the hell out of me- I mean if somebody says the coffee's all ready and ... J.D. SALINGER I felt so lonesome, all of a sudden. I almost wished I was dead. J.D. SALINGER Lawyers are alright, I guess — but it doesn't appeal to me", I said. "I mean they're alright if th... J.D. SALINGER We're freaks, the two of us, Franny and I. I'm a twenty-five-year-old freak and she's a twenty-one-y... J.D. SALINGER I figured I could get a job at a filling station somewhere, putting gas and oil in people's cars. I ... J.D. SALINGER I took her dress over to the closet and hung it up. It was funny. It made me feel sort of sad when I... J.D. SALINGER I felt so damn happy all of a sudden, the way old Phoebe kept going around and around. I was damn ne... J.D. SALINGER You're going to have to find out where you want to go. And then you've got to start going there. J.D. SALINGER There's a marvelous peace in not publishing, there's a stillness. When you publish, the world thinks... J.D. SALINGER I thought the two ugly ones were sisters, but they got very insulted when I asked them. You could te... J.D. SALINGER Well. He's a very sensitive boy. He's really never been a terribly good mixer with other boys...' J.D. SALINGER I guess, even before that, I'd get them to empty out everything their parents and everybody ever tol... J.D. SALINGER Do you have any emotions?" "If I do, I don't remember when I ever used them. I don't see what t... J.D. SALINGER He was little more than halfway down the staircase when he heard an all-piercing, sustained scream--... J.D. SALINGER Nothing in the voice of the cicada intimates how soon it will die. J.D. SALINGER Mary Jane. Listen. Please," Eloise said, sobbing. "You remember our freshman year, and I had that br... J.D. SALINGER Look at 'em,' he said. 'Goddam fools.' 'Who?' said Ginnie. 'I don't know. Anybody. J.D. SALINGER Father said I have no sense of humor at all. He said I was unequipped to meet life because I have no... J.D. SALINGER My father wrote beautifully,” Esmé interrupted. “I’m saving a number of his letters for poste... J.D. SALINGER Ah, Sharon Lipschutz," said the young man. "How that name comes up. Mixing memory and desire. J.D. SALINGER You're just being logical...You're just giving me a regular, intelligent answer. I was trying to hel... J.D. SALINGER I see you are looking at my feet," he said to her when car was in motion. "I beg your pardon?" ... J.D. SALINGER You know Sven? The man who takes care of the gym?' he asked. He waited till he got a nod from Nichol... J.D. SALINGER But doctors talk about cells as if they had such unlimited importance all by themselves. As if they ... J.D. SALINGER That cat was a spy. You had to take a pot shot at it. It was a very clever German midget dres... J.D. SALINGER I mean it's very hard to meditate and live a spiritual life in America. People think you're a freak ... J.D. SALINGER I prayed for the city to be cleared of people, for the gift of being alone—a-l-o-n-e: which is the... J.D. SALINGER Listen, if you're not going to be a nun or something, you might as well laugh. J.D. SALINGER Each of his phrases was rather like a little ancient island, inundated by a miniature sea of whiskey... J.D. SALINGER Did you see more glass? J.D. SALINGER You take a really sleepy man, Esmé, and he always stands a chance of again becoming a man with all ... J.D. SALINGER Her joke of a name aside, her general unprettiness aside, she was, in terms of permanently memorable... J.D. SALINGER You know that apple Adam ate in the Garden of Eden, referred to in the Bible?' he asked. 'You know w... J.D. SALINGER She was a girl who for a ringing phone dropped exactly nothing. She looked as if her phone had been ... J.D. SALINGER The worst thing that being an artist could do to you would be that it would make you slightly unhapp... J.D. SALINGER They love their reasons for loving us almost as much as they love us, and most of the time more. It'... J.D. SALINGER He said I was unequipped to meet life because I had no sense of humor. J.D. SALINGER Written in ink, in German, in a small, hopelessly sincere handwriting, were the words "Dear God, lif... J.D. SALINGER You asked me how to get out of the finite dimensions when I feel like it. I certainly don't use logi... J.D. SALINGER If I were God, I certainly wouldn't want people to love me sentimentally. It's too unreliable... J.D. SALINGER Poets are always taking the weather so personally. They're always sticking their emotions in things ... J.D. SALINGER We’re freaks, that’s all. Those two bastards got us nice and early and made us into freaks with ... J.D. SALINGER Just because somebody's dead, you don't just stop liking them-especially if they were about a thousa... J.D. SALINGER If I were a piano player, I'd play it in the goddam closet. J.D. SALINGER People never think anything is anything really. I'm getting goddam sick of it. J.D. SALINGER Every time you mention some guy that's strictly a bastard— very mean, or very conceited and all—... J.D. SALINGER I think if you don't really like a girl, you shouldn't horse around with her at all, and if you do l... J.D. SALINGER If you sat around there long enough and heard all the phonies applauding and all, you got to hate ev... J.D. SALINGER It's really too bad that so much crumby stuff is a lot of fun sometimes. J.D. SALINGER Anyway, I'm sort of glad they've got the atomic bomb invented. If there's ever another war, I'm goin... J.D. SALINGER I live in New York, and I was thinking about the lagoon in Central Park, down near Central Park Sout... J.D. SALINGER I don't even know what I was running for—I guess I just felt like it. J.D. SALINGER It's not too bad when the sun's out, but the sun only comes out when it feels like coming out. J.D. SALINGER Sleep tight, ya morons! J.D. SALINGER Goddam money. It always ends up making you blue as hell. J.D. SALINGER If you really want to hear about it, the first thing you'll probably want to know is where I was bor... J.D. SALINGER Everybody in this family gets his goddamn religion in a different package. J.D. SALINGER Girls. Jesus Christ. They can drive you crazy. - Holden Caulfield J.D. SALINGER She was around ten minutes late, as a matter of fact. I didn't give a damn, though. All that crap th... J.D. SALINGER One day a long time from now you'll cease to care anymore whom you please or what anybody has to say... J.D. SALINGER You can hit my father over the head with a chair and he won't wake up, but my mother, all you have t... J.D. SALINGER But what I mean is, lots of time you don’t know what interests you most till you start talking abo... J.D. SALINGER Then the carousel started, and I watched her go round and round...All the kids tried to grap for the... J.D. SALINGER Some people you shouldn't kid, even if they deserve it. J.D. SALINGER We got passes, till midnight after the parade. I met Muriel at the Biltmore at seven. Two drinks, tw... J.D. SALINGER -Hey, listen," I said. "You know those ducks in that lagoon right near Central Park South? That litt... J.D. SALINGER If you're not in the mood, you can't do that stuff right. J.D. SALINGER I can be quite sarcastic when I'm in the mood. J.D. SALINGER There is a marvelous peace in not publishing ... I like to write. I love to write. But I write just ... J.D. SALINGER I am a kind of paranoid in reverse. I suspect people of trying to make me happy J.D. SALINGER Probably for every man there is at least one city that sooner or later turns into a girl. How well o... J.D. SALINGER O tipo da marinha e eu dissemos um ao outro que tinha sido um prazer. Que é uma coisa que me deixa ... J.D. SALINGER People always think something's all true. J.D. SALINGER It's such a stupid question, in my opinion. I mean, how do you know what you're going to do till you... J.D. SALINGER Know your true measurements and dress your mind accordingly J.D. SALINGER Keep me up till five because all your stars are out, and for no other reason…Oh dare to do it Budd... J.D. SALINGER I don't like it when it stings,' he said. 'Nobody does. J.D. SALINGER American people simply will not countenance being lied to by their own President. PIERRE SALINGER