Art Buchwald
Related ART BUCHWALD NEIL DEGRASSE TYSON CRAIG GROESCHEL SIR WINSTON CHURCHILL ROBERT REICH Now that our troops are mired in a dangerous effort to defeat the insurgency and are also trying to ... HARRY REID RAINBOW ROWELL ARTHUR L. HERMAN Modern motor vehicles are safer and more reliable than they have ever been - yet more than 1 million... TOM CHATFIELD RUDYARD KIPLING Children are rescued from abortion to be killed in war as soldiers. ILKIN SANTAK Many people in the world are killed by supper rather than by the sword. VIKRANT PARSAI Economies of scale are a good thing. If we didn't have them, we'd still be living in tents a... JAMIE DIMON Peoples' lives are changed forever by these accidents. Three fatalities in the last two months quali... BRUCE JONES We stand a chance of getting a president who has probably killed more people before he gets into off... SUSAN SARANDON JOE BIDEN In the 'Nike Economy,' there are no standards, no borders and no rules. Clearly, the global ... JOHN SWEENEY Buffalo are dangerous and unpredictable animals, we need to treat them with respect and give them pl... RICHARD MILLER WINSTON CHURCHILL Whenever you manage more than 100 attorneys, there's always going to be attorneys who believe th... PAT MEEHAN There's a great op-ed piece by Kurt Johnson, who runs The List Project, that I recommend everyon... RORY KENNEDY JOHN LE CARRE TED DANSON The recent history of Ukraine is replete with dead journalists, beaten journalists, news agencies be... BOB SCHAFFER Buffalo was in Pat's heart and she helped put the Buffalo Niagara name on the map. ANDREW RUDNICK RUDY GIULIANI There are old pilots and there are bold pilots', goes the saying, 'there are no old bold pilots'. Ha... R.J. CHILDERHOSE Technology started to pass Ford by. Earlier, he knew what people would buy -- a cheap, reliable auto... BOB CASEY CHARLES B. RANGEL Eric has shown that he's certainly worth what he signed for. He might be worth more to this team. We... HARRY HENDERSON STEVE ALLEN STEVE ALLEN ELLEN KEY DOUGLAS ADAMS Trenching accidents are a major cause of job-related injuries and fatalities in Michigan. Workers ca... DAVID HOLLISTER CHESTY PULLER In that time, there could be another 10 or 12 accidents. It could mean someone getting killed. BOB KANNER SOURCE UNKNOWN WAYNE DYER We had to win more than we lost (in Buffalo), and we did, so hopefully that gets us a little closer. JOE CARBONE WILL SELF TOM STOPPARD GEORGE R. R. MARTIN BILL BRYSON NORMAN RALPH AUGUSTINE I must say that in the last 20 years, I don't know of one zoo visitor that has been killed or maimed... JACK HANNA I always felt myself to be an unlucky person like Donald, who is a victim of so many circumstances. ... CARL BARKS The person had to be really familiar with the main sites in Buffalo. ROBERT BROWN DOUGLAS ADAMS It's a positive sign that more hostages were freed than were killed (in March), but it's also a remi... EVAN KOHLMANN In the years since 9/11, more terrorists have been created through this President's policies tha... BILL PASCRELL ALAN DERSHOWITZ The President of the United States thinks that for the Japanese opium is more dangerous than war. TOWNSEND HARRIS ROBERT A. HEINLEIN By the terms of the U.S. Supreme Court decision in June of last year legalizing the practice of dest... STEVEN A. COULTER Medicine is becoming a business, and if people choose medicine as a way to make money, they should g... TILDA SHALOF We will prove that by the number of shots fired at very close range, that this man -- who was corner... ERIC WARNER Art isn't held with the same high regard as it is after success. In any country, in any language... K'NAAN OLYMPIA SNOWE Top shelf where momma hides the cookies! RICK JEANNERET He said Frank Reich was always there pushing him to be better every day. That's the way it was ... a... J.P. LOSMAN NEIL GAIMAN This isn't a Republican issue. This isn't a Democrat issue. This is something that both part... CORY GARDNER As the facts change, change your thesis. Don't be a stubborn mule, or you'll get killed. BARRY STERNLICHT NORMAN VINCENT PEALE That both could be nominated in Buffalo, their home towns, is something special. LEONARD LENIHAN I think the tradition of well-written history hasn't been squashed out of the academic world as ... ADAM HOCHSCHILD A certain number of Americans are already in Peking and most of us here feel that it would be very u... ANNA LOUISE STRONG CRISTIANO RONALDO Jim Sullivan killed his wife. The state is going to prove it. We ask that you find him guilty. SHEILA ROSS ARLEN SPECTER I want to thank the Muslim community of Buffalo for their extraordinary cooperation, ... The assista... LARRY THOMPSON J. MICHAEL STRACZYNSKI Out of every one hundred Americans, fewer than two get aid from today’s cash welfare program. Just... KATHRYN EDIN JESSICA SIMPSON JESSICA SIMPSON BARACK OBAMA STEPHEN CHBOSKY Most ballet teachers in the United States are terrible. If they were in medicine, everyone would be ... GEORGE BALANCHINE It makes sense that some Latin American countries are trying to lead by example. They are hoping the... JOSH BERNSTEIN If you do hit someone, it could be as bad as reckless homicide if the person is killed by that. SGT. JUDY PHILLIPS In the Buffalo game, Willie had one long run, JEROME BETTIS DJUNA BARNES NOAM CHOMSKY BILL MOYERS I'm very close to thinking the United States shouldn't be in Basel any more. I would not hav... JAMIE DIMON SAM ADAMS GEORGE HERBERT EVAN DAVIS JOE BIDEN DONALD TRUMP, JR. BEN STEIN It appears from Mr. Smith's account that there is no scarcity of buffalo as he penetrated the countr... WILLIAM HENRY ASHLEY There are a lot of people getting killed by guns in our country for reasons, from my understanding, ... JEFF BRIDGES The results are coming in minute by minute. But it would be hazardous to give out figures before hav... APOLLINAIRE MALU MALU GEORGE WALD YUVAL NOAH HARARI VINCENT CASSEL E. L. DOCTOROW I would suspect, ... that the odds of being killed as a result of a terrorist use of biological subs... BRIAN JENKINS
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ART BUCHWALD ART BUCHWALD ART BUCHWALD ART BUCHWALD ART BUCHWALD ART BUCHWALD ART BUCHWALD ART BUCHWALD ART BUCHWALD ART BUCHWALD ART BUCHWALD ART BUCHWALD ART BUCHWALD ART BUCHWALD ART BUCHWALD ART BUCHWALD ART BUCHWALD ART BUCHWALD ART BUCHWALD ART BUCHWALD ART BUCHWALD ART BUCHWALD ART BUCHWALD ART BUCHWALD ART BUCHWALD ART BUCHWALD ART BUCHWALD ART BUCHWALD ART BUCHWALD ART BUCHWALD ART BUCHWALD ART BUCHWALD ART BUCHWALD ART BUCHWALD ART BUCHWALD ART BUCHWALD ART BUCHWALD ART BUCHWALD ART BUCHWALD ART BUCHWALD ART BUCHWALD ART BUCHWALD ART BUCHWALD ART BUCHWALD ART BUCHWALD ART BUCHWALD EMILIE BUCHWALD It's turning out to be a difficult match like we anticipated. GUIDO BUCHWALD We have global ambitions, but to get there we had to advance first to Asia. GUIDO BUCHWALD Both teams had chances in the first half and it could have gone either way. It was very typical of a... GUIDO BUCHWALD As a coach, I'm extremely happy to be able to sign a player who I wanted. Our goal this season is to... GUIDO BUCHWALD He controls the ball extremely well, he's good at pressing forward and he's an invaluable team playe... GUIDO BUCHWALD It's been 25 years since we last won this cup and we want to make sure we win it properly. We didn't... GUIDO BUCHWALD We had five or six good chances to score. GUIDO BUCHWALD Our attacking was good, as was our technique and passing, particularly in the first 30 minutes. Ther... GUIDO BUCHWALD Another reason I wanted to stay here was to build a good team for next year. I have my eye on bringi... GUIDO BUCHWALD We have now qualified for the 2007 Asian Champions League and I am very proud of that. We will all b... GUIDO BUCHWALD We've had something like five games in 15 days and around 65 to 70 minutes the players started to ge... GUIDO BUCHWALD There are certain things that I know I don't want to do anymore. Playing out-and-out terrorists ... ART MALIK I questioned the blind faith demanded by my religion, which was Islam. ART MALIK ART LINKLETTER ART FETTIG ART GARFUNKEL The longer you stay in one place, the greater your chances of disillusionment. ART SPANDER Every egg represents 32 hours of jail for a chicken
kept in a 3 ft by 1 ft cage, debeaked. ART MARGOLIS ART LINKLETTER ART LINKLETTER ART GARFUNKEL I don't eat vegetables. I only eat food like cheeseburgers, Spam, hot dogs and pizza. ART DONOVAN People tell me if I don't eat vegetables, I'm going to get scurvy. Well, what the hell. But ... ART DONOVAN I love listening to music on holiday, and back in the old days, I used to travel with cassette tapes... ART MALIK ART GARFUNKEL And they're all looking for that type of guy. ART VALERO That's just Mike. I'd buy some of those arms if I could. Mike is ready to go. He trains himself very... ART VALERO For him to touch the ball 20 times a game is not enough. Put the ball in No. 24's hands and let him ... ART VALERO That's as big a reason to report on time as anything. It gives you time to learn from the veterans, ... ART VALERO Most people just drink beer with Mexican food. She's starting to promote wines which go so well with... ART TORRES It's impossible to think that he couldn't find one Latino to put in his Cabinet, ART TORRES I don't think that he's a racist. I don't think he's anti-Latino, ... I just think some of his comme... ART TORRES I don't see any others forthcoming, ... But Arnold has two very formidable opponents. ART TORRES We just didn't get started. They got in a rut and never got out. We got down on ourselves. ART THOMASON She continues to attack the basket. She also can back it and make the 3-pointer. She destroys defens... ART THOMASON It's hard for teams to match up with her. She's only 5-foot-9, but her reach is much longer than tha... ART THOMASON At this point in the season, there aren't many sleeping giants left. It doesn't matter who you are p... ART THOMASON The Japanese are starting to get worried about the Korean brands for the same reasons the domestics ... ART SPINELLA She got out of tech stocks a year ago and bought a new Beetle. She paid cash for it, and now she's l... ART SPINELLA We believe this kind of data is important in a consumer's selection of transportation. Basing purcha... ART SPINELLA It would have to be an entry-level model, like the Hyundai Excel. It would take low price and some s... ART SPINELLA Floor traffic has dried up. And that’s not just for the Big Three, ... ART SPINELLA Somebody was going to do it. Mitsubishi is in dire straits. This is as good an idea as any. ART SPINELLA Do I want to see a subdivision or a gun club? Honestly - I would want a gun club. ART SPINELLA She got out of tech stocks a year ago and bought a new Beetle, ... She paid cash for it, and now she... ART SPINELLA The difference between what Detroit goes through and what Toyota goes through is that for every sing... ART SPINELLA Flood vehicles can be sold for their parts. There isn't a single vehicle that came out of Katrina th... ART SPINELLA ART SPIEGELMAN ART SPIEGELMAN ART SPIEGELMAN ART SPIEGELMAN ART SPIEGELMAN ART SPIEGELMAN There comes a time when you have to shut it off, let it go, and say it's not going to happen. ART SHELL Should we have won more championships, more Super Bowls? Yes, we should have. But I don't think you ... ART SHELL It's coming home to finish what I started. I left coaching, but I've never left the game of football... ART SHELL I just want to get back to the point where ... when we walk into the Coliseum, the Raiders are here.... ART SHELL All I can say is Kerry Collins is an outstanding quarterback. As a matter of fact I spoke with Kerry... ART SHELL When you walk out there, when you into that stadium, you walk out there with a presence. Mr. Davis c... ART SHELL We may have hit bottom in Asia but it may not get better anytime soon. ART RUSSELL The Nasdaq has largely been immune to the pullback in the Dow recently. Some of this response is ove... ART RUSSELL The PC stocks should do well in the second half of this year. ART RUSSELL The challenge is to integrate Digital and have an effective enterprise solution strategy going forwa... ART RUSSELL I get the sense that [Microsoft] would like to settle the case on the right terms. The contract lang... ART RUSSELL No surprise on the pre-announcement here. We know the PC industry has been weak. ART RUSSELL From a purely technical standpoint, we could see the Nasdaq falling to 2,500 levels in the near term... ART RUSSELL The software license revenue is widely viewed as a healthy barometer of their business. I think most... ART RUSSELL The biggest thrill wasn't in winning on Sunday but in meeting the payroll on Monday. ART ROONEY Sportswriters. They were all my friends. They were racetrack guys and so was I. ART ROONEY I think numbers-wise we were satisfied. We went into it wanting to keep as many of those guys as we ... ART ROONEY The demand for club seats has proven to be very strong since moving to Heinz Field. ART ROONEY Once I had a steel job for half of a day. I never went back to collect my pay. ART ROONEY Nobody feels any worse than I do about losing. ART ROONEY It was time for him to prove he was not in the pocket of the Chamber of Commerce and the big corpora... ART PULASKI He's rethinking some of his takeaways. We're relieved that he is. ART PULASKI We're all for flexibility. But the far more frequent experience is employers who are trying to cut c... ART PULASKI We don't want more short-term, politically expedient solutions. We must increase and index the minim... ART PULASKI Wealthy companies set new records in political contributions to buy this veto. Schwarzenegger bends ... ART PULASKI If you start becoming withdrawn and looking over your shoulder, being careful about what you say, th... ART MODELL I want to be remembered as a guy who tried his best and did his best. ART MODELL I never lied to a person in my life; my kids didn't, either. ART MODELL I have enjoyed the years enormously in Cleveland and especially in Baltimore. ART MODELL I have a great legacy, tarnished somewhat by the move. ART MODELL I had to do what I had to do to keep my family alive. Period. ART MODELL I don't want my grandchildren to go through what I went through. ART MODELL I do want to go out on top, as a winner. ART MODELL The pride and presence of a professional football team is far more important than 30 libraries. ART MODELL He was an extraordinary man of impeccable character, integrity, honesty, compassion and fairness. He... ART MODELL Las Vegas is the perfect host city to bring new energy to the Miss America Pageant. It should make f... ART MCMASTER We had hundreds of volunteers, and the thing worked like clockwork. ART MCMASTER the pageant's continued vitality and growth. ART MCMASTER Atlanta is a nice city, ... I'm sure they would have the facilities. ART MCMASTER ART LINKLETTER ART LINKLETTER ART LINKLETTER ART LINKLETTER ART LINKLETTER ART LINKLETTER ART LINKLETTER ART LINKLETTER It appears to be highly subjective. This survey is giving more weight to words over action. ART LARSON We're going to examine this report and carry on a dialogue with this organization. But we feel that ... ART LARSON On some days, the plant has been operating at a full load. The steam you see is normal. ART LARSON Our target market for this project is Idaho and the Pacific Northwest. ART LARSON If and when we are, we intend to immediately seek dismissal of it as being improperly brought before... ART LARSON We invite the public to speak. That's democracy in action, ... But I will not have any more recommen... ART JOHNSON Kids just lose a lot over the holidays, ... To think students are going to study for exams and do pr... ART JOHNSON It's clear arts education work drives student achievement. We need to be in the business of doing th... ART JOHNSON The point is, the Legislature has not met its constitutional requirements. ART JOHNSON Hopefully we can have a true home-field advantage, have a good crowd and create as good a college ba... ART INABINET It is good competition and all six teams are good quality baseball teams. We always have wanted to d... ART INABINET We needed to figure out who needed to be playing, and when we figured that out, those guys have gott... ART INABINET One of our goals is to make to the Peach Belt Tournament. This format will help us get ready because... ART INABINET [Hogan also likes Intel for a position in the semiconductor industry.] Intel we like because semicon... ART HOGAN Compaq is weighing down the Nasdaq, but we're getting a rotation into Dow stocks, ... It (the electi... ART HOGAN I would take oil as a front-burner issue, ... Yesterday [Tuesday] was the capitulation day for the t... ART HOGAN I think 50 basis points (one-half percentage point) is a credible consensus estimate for what the Fe... ART HOGAN I think that we just ran out of steam after a couple of hours. I am glad that we held on our gains f... ART HOGAN But if I had to venture a guess I think we'll start trending higher up until the Fed meeting on Tues... ART HOGAN I think this market can hold on to this rally and start trending higher. ART HOGAN I'm thinking the Fed will leave the rates unchanged, ... We've ramped up pretty higher into this mee... ART HOGAN Next week we really kick that (warnings) season off. There's going to be more Gateways out there, an... ART HOGAN It sends a signal that the U.S. economy has weathered some pretty harsh storms over the past few yea... ART HOGAN With those who don't give a damn about baseball, I can only sympathize. I do not resent them. I am e... ART HILL ART GARFUNKEL ART GARFUNKEL ART GARFUNKEL ART GARFUNKEL ART GARFUNKEL ART GARFUNKEL ART GARFUNKEL ART GARFUNKEL ART GARFUNKEL ART GARFUNKEL Right now if a Toyota (plant) came together, there'd be 16 people fighting for them. Competition can... ART COLLINS Looking ahead, Medtronic is exceptionally well-positioned to maintain its growth momentum, ... Signi... ART COLLINS We believe that we are picking up the majority of whatever business Guidant couldn't fulfill because... ART COLLINS The new product pipeline has never been stronger as we plan to introduce significant new therapies t... ART COLLINS It was good to get out here and see the players bounce around a little bit. We got out of it healthy... ART BRILES We appreciate their loyalty and thank them for what they've done at the University of Houston. ART BRILES The quarterback part, to me, is secondary to him as a person. His background, being from West Texas,... ART BRILES Everything was clicking on both sides of the ball. ...and I think we rode the wave of momentum for a... ART BRILES He has come out of some great programs and he's been on some great defenses. He was at Alabama four ... ART BRILES Edwards wanted to follow Wadia and has been on the fast track for quite a while. ART BOWMAN Salvatore's extremely capable. I'm surprised he didn't get the job permanently. ART BOWMAN We are reaching a low point in the history of the profession. And as we eventually emerge from this ... ART BOWMAN Any of the four would be willing to do [a merger] if they were shielded from liability. ART BOWMAN The scenarios are basically the same. Andersen as we know it is dead whether there is an acquittal o... ART BOWMAN What ever truth drops on it eventually grinds to a powder. ART BLAKEY Music washes away the dust of every day life. ART BLAKEY Jazz is known all over the world as an American musical art form and that's it. No America, no jazz.... ART BLAKEY A name doesn't make the music. It's just called that to differentiate it from other types of music. ART BLAKEY You can't seperate modern jazz from rock or from rhythm and blues - you can't seperate it. Because t... ART BLAKEY
The buffalo isn't as dangerous as everyone makes him out to be. Statistics prove that in the United ... 
The chances that your tombstone will read 'Killed by Asteroid' are about the same as they... 
And as you come to know Him, you're becoming like Him. The more you are like Him, the more different... 
Politics are almost as exciting as war, and quite as dangerous. In war you can only be killed once, ... 
More people are killed by stray bullets every day in America than have been killed by Ebola here. Mo... 
He was trying to talk to Cath about buffalo. As far as she could tell, Levi had a whole class that w... 
The most interesting statistic, stunning statistic that came out of my research was that in 1942, as... 
More men are killed by overwork than the importance of the world justifies. 
You are twice as likely to be struck by lightning as you around to be affected by a terrorist event ... 
Politics is almost as exciting as war, and quite as dangerous. In war you can only be killed once, b... 
Totalitarian states killed with impunity and no one was held accountable. That didn't happen in ... 
Many people continue to think of sharks as man-eating beasts. Sharks are enormously powerful and wil... 
We need to know who's in the United States. We need to know everyone who's in the United Sta... 
In the battle of Kunu-ri, more than 5,000 American soldiers were killed, wounded or taken as prisone... 
If the Old Testament were a reliable guide in the matter of capital punishment, half the people in t... 
If the Old Testament were a reliable guide in the matter of capital punishment, half the people in t... 
The serious questions that are talked out or strangled with red tape are more numerous than those th... 
Being virtually killed by a virtual laser in a virtual space is just as effective as the real thing,... 
What the American people want to do is fight a war without getting hurt. You can't do that any m... 
Trivial things do matter... more people are killed each year by the bite of mosquitoes than are step... 
If life is a checker game, someone else is moving the pieces. It isn't us. Don't be surprise... 
In survey after survey, people report that the greatest dangers they face are, in this order: terror... 
I have a spasm of envy for the person that was killed by a falling bookcase, as long as it doesn'... 
I try to make the readers feel they've lived the events of the book. Just as you grieve if a fri... 
People in the West like to shoot things. When they first got to the West they shot buffalo. Once the... 
By the time of the United States Tricentennial, there will be more government workers than there are... 
The fact that all of this was happening in virtual space made no difference. Being virtually killed ... 
We don't have an Official Secrets Act in the United States, as other countries do. Under the Fir... 
A poisonous snake is not dangerous, not any more than a loaded gun is dangerous—in each case, if y... 
The United States Senate wasn't designed to be a majority-rule institution. It was designed to i... 
Gods die. And when they truly die they are unmourned and unremembered. Ideas are more difficult to k... 
I sometimes think we ought to bring a bill before Congress changing our national symbol from the eag... 
At United, there are great traditions, which you can't buy in one or two years. They are created... 
Well, I believe that when you are confirming a United States Supreme Court Justice, that it really i... 
Accidents happen. That's what everyone says. But in a quantum universe there are no such things as a... 
'Jessica, you want some buffalo wings?' 'Sorry I don't eat buffalo.' 
Jessica, you want some buffalo wings?' 'Sorry I don't eat buffalo. 
Let's be honest - tracking down, rounding up, and deporting millions of people isn't realist... 
So, tomorrow, I'm leaving. And I'm not going to let that happen again with anyone else. I'm going to... 
Well, isn't Bohemia a place where everyone is as good as everyone else - and must not a waiter b... 
The number of people killed by the sanctions in Iraq is greater than the total number of people kill... 
Democracy may not prove in the long run to be as efficient as other forms of government, but it has ... 
I feel the organization did what they felt was best. Playing in Buffalo was one of the greatest expe... 
By suppers more have been killed than Galen ever cured 
When a population saves a lot, the funds are invested outside the country as well as inside. If the ... 
Hillary Clinton is as qualified or more qualified than I am to be Vice President of the United State... 
Anyone who thinks hunters are just 'bloodthirsty morons' hasn't looked into hunting. If ... 
Usually I am not a conspiracy theorist. I don't believe in the Bilderbergers as a conspiracy or ... 
As far as I know, the most conservative estimates of the number of Americans who would be killed in ... 
In 2012 about 56 million people died throughout the world; 620,000 of them died due to human violenc... 
I feel to look for perfection is a very dangerous path. More than that, it's dangerous because i... 
Things that appear on the front page of the newspaper as 'fact' are far more dangerous than ... 
A bad liver is to a Frenchman what a nervous breakdown is to an American. Everyone has had one and e... 
Put yourself in Hamlet's shoes. Suppose you were a prince, and you came back from college to discove... 
Children are made readers on the laps of their parents. 
The four stages of life are infancy, childhood, adolescence, and obsolescence. 
When I am delivering my very best, then that is when I feel successful. 
I have the feeling that in a balanced life one should die penniless. The trick is dismantling. 
I stand fearlessly for small dogs, the American Flag, motherhood and the Bible. That's why peopl... 
We human beings are tuned such that we crave great melody and great lyrics. And if somebody writes a... 
With any work worth its salt, you have to trust the author enough to take its measure. And if you ap... 
Well, I am not 100 percent sure of the definition of polemic, but it wasn't meant to convince anybod... 
Some of the reviewers wanted less. Some wanted lots more. Some wanted lots more of something else. B... 
The four stages of man are infancy, childhood, adolescence, and obsolescence 
We human beings are tuned such that we crave great melody and great lyrics. And if somebody writes a...