The Clinton White House today said they would start to give national security and intelligence briefings to George Bush. I don't know how well this is working out. Today after the first one Bush said, 'I've got one question: What color is the red phone?'
Bill Maher
Related The Clinton White House today said they would start to give national security and intelligence brief... BILL MAHER The White House is giving George W. Bush intelligence briefings. You know, some of these jokes just ... DAVID LETTERMAN Bill Clinton beat Bush's father, President George H.W. Bush, for the White House in 1992 by focu... NIGEL HAMILTON Clinton's successor in the White House, George W. Bush, was committed to expanding government sp... TONY CAMPOLO Now, today is the day we honor, of course, the Presidents, ranging from George Washington, who could... JAY LENO Mrs. Bush has said that all families are welcome at the White House and they look forward to this gr... MARIA TAMBURRI George W. Bush is a big spender. He has never vetoed a spending Bill. When Congress serves up a big ... PEGGY NOONAN Given Cheney's background on national security going back to the Ford years, his time on the House I... BOB WOODWARD [I asked Barbour who would win in November, and here is what he said:] Mark, if this election is abo... GEORGE W. BUSH President Bush said for security reasons, he's sworn off all e-mail communication. He will not be us... JAY LENO I've met a handful of presidents, from Jimmy Carter to Bill Clinton to George Bush to Barack Oba... JIMMIE JOHNSON George W. Bush and Dick Cheney want to restore some dignity to the White House. They want to restore... DAN CRONIN Three publishers came to me at the White House after George lost and said, 'We would like to pub... BARBARA BUSH Humour: Is the mobile phone male or female?
Ans: female.
Explanation: mobile = o-bil-me = O! Bill Me... APURVA GAGLANI nothing of this magnitude ever happened in the Bush Administration. First of all, George Bush wouldn... DAVID MCINTOSH I met Gerald Ford. I met Richard Nixon. I met Jimmy Carter. I met Dwight Eisenhower when he was a ge... PETE ROSE President Bush and Bill Clinton both agree that cloning is morally wrong. Clinton said that he think... JAY LENO That's it really; it's all love, whichever way you look at it, it's all love. How much you can Get f... GEORGE HARRISON According to doctors, George Bush has the lowest heartbeat ever recorded by someone in the White Hou... JAY LENO The Dalai Lama visited the White House and told the President that he could teach him to find a high... BILL MAHER President Bush is taking the entire month of August off. Bush said today he thinks it is important f... JAY LENO I've met Bill Clinton, Obama a couple of times... I certainly didn't meet George Bush, and w... DAVID CROSBY There is a deep consensus between Gore and Bush, ... When you look at the last 10 years, there's not... GEORGE FRIEDMAN There is a deep consensus between Gore and Bush. When you look at the last 10 years, there's not muc... GEORGE FRIEDMAN The love you get, is equal to the love you give. BEN OAK The question is, will Paul Martin stand up to George Bush and say no? JANICE HARVEY Bush said today he is being stalked. He said wherever he goes, people are following him. Finally, so... JAY LENO 'USA Today' once did a big article called, 'Who said it? Was it Norm or George Bush?'... NORM CROSBY You know he[George W. Bush] is there[in the White House] illegally. You know he was not elected eith... MICHAEL MOORE Yogi met George Bush during an election campaign. Bush said Texas was important. Yogi said Texas has... YOGI BERRA I told Mr. Nader today that a vote for Ralph Nader is really a vote for George Bush. BARBARA LEE Tom DeLay and the other leadership of the House of Representatives are not going to impeach George W... BOB GRAHAM It won't work. We have to be the party that can stand toe-to-toe with George W. Bush on national sec... WESLEY CLARK This bill has one motivation -- payback by the Bush administration and the Republican leadership of ... EDWARD KENNEDY One of the poems is about George Bush, but I had no time to read it. BAKHTIAR AMIN NEW RULE: 'Kidiots' Leave the children behind. At least until they learn something. A new study has ... BILL MAHER NEW RULE: 'Kidiots' Leave the children behind. At least until they learn something. A new study has ... BILL MAHER John Kerry said today that he stands by ... his claim that certain foreign leaders have told him tha... JAY LENO [? White House press secretary Ari Fleischer said Vice President Dick Cheney had been moved from the... ARI FLEISCHER The Bush administration said today there is a lot of support for us to attack Iraq. Exxon, Mobil, Te... JAY LENO I like to open for a band as it brings on sort of a challenge and it makes things more interesting. ... KELLY JONES I'm not comparing Bush to Adolf Hitler - because George Bush, for one thing, is not as smart as ... DAVID CLENNON If US intelligence agencies had spent more time studying the evidence in their possession, the presi... PETER GRIER He gets credit in having turned Bill Clinton into a real believer on climate change. Bush has said h... CARL POPE I'm not comparing Bush to Adolf Hitler - because George Bush, for one thing, is not as smart as Adol... DAVID CLENNON Today is about the now, the moment you live in, so do now what you want to do SOTONYE ANGA President Bush left for Canada today to attend a trade summit. Reportedly, the trade summit got off ... CONAN O'BRIEN I still think in this country, and this might surprise you, the one thing that George Bush said as p... TAVIS SMILEY Bill Maher is one of today's most insightful comedic minds who has, through his comedy, influenced p... BARRY GORDON How do you know if something is real? That’s easy. Does it change you? Does it form you? Does it g... C. JOYBELL C. It is not possible for me to explain just how wonderful it is to see this house that George Exxon Bu... BOBBY W. MILLER Today, the airline industry is calling on President Bush to make aviation a national priority and to... CAROL HALLETT George Bush, Dick Cheney, every one of the speakers praised John Kerry's war record. No one said... PETER T. KING The degree to which the Bush administration is willing to invest in conventional national security s... STEPHEN FLYNN Since other countries and terrorist organizations are working to secure information that could threa... ROGER WICKER We have been working on few things and with the inclusion of a few national players we decided that ... EATON BRUCE Bush is smart. I don't think that Bush will ever be impeached, 'cause unlike Clinton, Reagan, or eve... JAY LENO There is but one man to whom I am willing to entrust their future and that man's name is George Bush... ZELL MILLER If President Bush told Dick Cheney to do something, rather than the other way around, that would be ... DAVIS LOGSDON "As often as you eat this bread and drink this cup". TODAY Sadly the Democrats are misleading people and attacking President Bush. As a matter of principle, we... JIM GILMORE Bush gets it. He's open to gays and lesbians, and his vision is the most important thing. We are not... CARL SCHMID I've gotten to know John Kerry since the primaries. The reason I'm going out and working my you know... HOWARD DEAN There's been an attempt to put reporters on the spot and question the motivation of reporters. It is... DAVID GREGORY They plan to ride into the White House on the Sweet Talk Express. Well, think again. Bush and Cheney... PATRICIA IRELAND Laura Bush is the same way. I mean, they both, um, understand, they understand the challenges of the... DONALD EVANS I would like to apologize for referring to George W. Bush as a deserter. What I meant to say is that... MICHAEL MOORE The Obama administration appears to regard intelligence leaks and briefings more or less like briefi... ELLIOTT ABRAMS They kept passing the phone on to every one of their coaches, all the way down to [head coach] Pete ... ANDREW WALLS George Bush seems to want to run against Bill Clinton, who's not on the ballot this year, ... They'r... JOE LIEBERMAN What matters is the one thing I do know for certain: God is with me. CRAIG GROESCHEL When President Bush needed someone to help with Katrina and tsunami relief, he called on Bill Clinto... MO ELLEITHEE I said to (President) Bush if there is time, then a referendum can be carried out, RECEP TAYYIP ERDOGAN I did not have one butterfly out there today,'' he said. LIKE I Clinton said no president ever who served would talk like that, as if it is out of his hand. Then I ... BOB WOODWARD My family got all over me because they said Bush is only for the rich people. Then I reminded them, ... CHARLES BARKLEY I said, "The children wanted to know what life was like." Junior said, “They [the children] d... GEORGE DAWSON I don't think [Bush] is doing enough to transfer it over like he said he would, ... They haven't tak... GEORGE HALL What is wrong with George Bush? What is his problem? ED SMITH In the 2000 election, George W. Bush, who had shirked military service, succeeded in presenting hims... SAMANTHA POWER There is but one man to whom I am willing to entrust their future and that man's name is George ... ZELL MILLER Ari is hot right now because people want insights into the Bush White House. JOE LOCKHART George W. Bush has not stood up and said that he's ready to talk about this issue, an issue that is ... JOE ANDREW On economic policy, Pence has held to the key building block of growth. He is a budget hawk who vote... LAWRENCE KUDLOW Berlusconi in America gave one of his most spectacular performances: yesterday he said on television... FRANCESCO RUTELLI So if Iraq has weapons today like President Bush says, clearly they would have had to reconstitute t... SCOTT RITTER If Clinton had only attacked terrorism as much as he attacks George Bush we wouldn't be in this prob... DENNIS MILLER I like and respect each one of them, but for me one candidate rose to the top as our best shot to be... TOM HARKIN When I die it will be game over,... but I know one life is short, to be selfish is not the best deci... DEYTH BANGER I said, 'Really? That was my unit. And I don't remember seeing you there,' ... So I called my friend... ROBERT MINTZ Even though I'm skeptical that this kind of issue is going to pull the rug out from Al Gore, I think... STUART ROTHENBERG I got cards from all kinds of politicians. I even got one from Hillary Clinton, but Mr. Bush doesn't... BONNIE BOLINGER I watched a black and white TV for so long, so when I got a color TV I picked the red one. ANONYMOUS I think Microsoft would like to wait until after the election, and maybe if George W. Bush wins, the... GREG VALLIERE Imagine you come upon a house painted brown. What color would you say the house was?" "Why brow... MEGAN CHANCE Bill Gates is a very rich man today... and do you want to know why? The answer is one word: versions... DAVE BARRY When I went off to the army when I was 17 years old, I believed in America and the rights of freedom... JACK HERER First, I was skeptical about a sequel, ... Even when we promoted the first one and that question cam... MATT DAMON Democrats have been complaining that President Bush has spent more than 21 percent of his time in of... JAY LENO We all love George Bush and follow George Bush, but everyone is looking for who will be next. LINDA ROBERTS
More Bill Maher
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BILL MAHER Religion, to me, is a bureaucracy between man and God that I don't need. BILL MAHER It's all been satirized for your protection. BILL MAHER Religion is dangerous because it allows human beings who don't have all the answers to think tha... BILL MAHER The tea baggers. The one thing they hate is when you call them racist. The other thing they hate is ... BILL MAHER Can we go back to using Facebook for what it was originally for - looking up exes to see how fat the... BILL MAHER New rule: Tulips aren't flowers. They're some kind of gay onion. BILL MAHER Confidence is courage at ease. DANIEL MAHER Running is a big question mark that's there each and every day. It asks you, 'Are you going to be a ... PETER MAHER Starting a new job is always scary, or at least for me it's always scary. It's like the firs... SEAN MAHER My colleague, Chuck, said -- I know it sounds like such an exaggeration -- but we felt like we were ... 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CHRIS MAHER It's a savage profit warning for the UK, with numbers for 2006/07 likely to shift materially below c... CHRISTIAN MAHER The outlook is worse than we had hoped. CHRISTIAN MAHER The move (to sell) is not illogical given the lack of control, but it is slightly at odds with the c... CHRISTIAN MAHER It's a savage profit warning for the UK. CHRISTIAN MAHER Hopefully, that will give our players a little bit of incentive to prove to their fans, their friend... KIM MAHER But I felt the moral obligation to help prevent what happened to me from happening to our people. MAHER ARAR They are doing this to people and it is wrong, wrong, wrong. This is an evil practice, and I want th... MAHER ARAR He always wants to come with me. He insists, and he cries if I can't take him. He's afraid that if I... MAHER ARAR I still have the nightmares. I see the same person who tortured me in my dreams. 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NATHAN REESE MAHER Because I am, just as you are you. We don’t always get to pick who we are, Shelly Wynn, but we can... NATHAN REESE MAHER All is as if the world did cease to exist. The city's monuments go unseen, its past unheard, and its... NATHAN REESE MAHER Cry no tears for us, my friend.” I pry at her fingers, panicking to be released in fear that she m... NATHAN REESE MAHER That’s a stupid name! Whirly-gig is much better, I think. Who in their right mind would point... NATHAN REESE MAHER I rouse Emily to our guests, as she finishes off our fifteenth snowman by setting the head atop its ... NATHAN REESE MAHER She leaves my side and heads deeper into the apartment singing, “—if the spirit tries to hi... NATHAN REESE MAHER I steal one glance over my shoulder as soon as we are far from the foreboding luminance of the neon ... NATHAN REESE MAHER History doesn’t start with a tall building and a card with your name written on it, but jokes... NATHAN REESE MAHER Did Bach ever eat pancakes at midnight? NATHAN REESE MAHER I can’t help but ask, “Do you know where you are?” She turns to me with a foreboding glar... NATHAN REESE MAHER There is a stillness between us, a period of restlessness that ties my stomach in a hangman’s... NATHAN REESE MAHER Call me crazy, but there is something terribly wrong with this city. NATHAN REESE MAHER Do we not each dream of dreams? Do we not dance on the notes of lost memories? Then are we not ... NATHAN REESE MAHER It’s no big deal. It’s kind of like a tattoo. It won’t hurt, not too much, just a few stitches... NATHAN REESE MAHER