The Courage to Heal Workbook: For Men and Women Survivors of Child Sexual Abuse


Laura Davis

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You can avoid the issues from abuse for only so long. Sooner or later, the problems in your life cau...
BEVERLY ENGEL
The experience of childhood sexual abuse leaves some survivors with a high tolerance for pain. Dysfu...
ROSENNA BAKARI
Incest is almost always a devastating experience for the victim.
SUSAN FORWARD
So often survivors have had their experiences denied, trivialized, or distorted. Writing is an impor...
ELLEN BASS
To heal from child sexual abuse you must believe that you were a victim, that the abuse really did t...
ELLEN BASS
You’ve already done the hardest part; you survived the trauma. You are much stronger than you thin...
SARAH NEWMAN
Some Survivors get angry at having to work at recovering from sexual abuse. They feel that it is unf...
BEVERLY ENGEL
When we are ready to let go of our old controls, we admit that we were powerless over the incest or ...
MAUREEN BRADY
To hold traumatic reality in consciousness requires a social context that affirms and protects the v...
JUDITH LEWIS HERMAN
...there is a particular focus of the problem faced only by men. It arises from our culture providin...
MIKE LEW
One of the reasons a survivor finds it so difficult to see herself as a victim is that she has been ...
DIANE MANDT LANGBERG
Many survivors struggle to believe the abuse happened. They don’t want to believe it. It’s too p...
LAURA DAVIS
People may not realize the damage that they are doing by placing the blame on the victim ~ but that ...
DARLENE OUIMET
Another question I am frequently asked is, "What do you mean by recovery?" It has taken me a while t...
MIKE LEW
Dissociation gets you through a brutal experience, letting your basic survival skills operate unimpe...
RENEE FREDRICKSON
Often feelings of shame, powerlessness, and self-hate are bottled up with the memories, and as the m...
LAURA DAVIS
The experience of chronic abuse carries within it the gross mislabeling of things. Perpetrators are ...
DIANE MANDT LANGBERG
Many survivors have such profound deficiencies in self-protection that they can barely imagine thems...
JUDITH LEWIS HERMAN
Power is confusing for us, perhaps even terrifying, because our relationship with it had an unfortun...
MAUREEN BRADY
Women involved in out-patient treatment for substance abuse were interviewed to examine their recoll...
ELIZABETH F. LOFTUS
The adult incest survivor is likely to become involved in sexual relationships with older or more po...
E. SUE BLUME
The mental health system is filled with survivors of prolonged, repeated childhood trauma. This is t...
JUDITH LEWIS HERMAN
I thought when the abuse stopped I could move on with my life. Instead I am still running from Brian...
ERIN MERRYN
Maternal absence, in one form or another, is always found in the background of the incest romance. W...
JUDITH LEWIS HERMAN
When there is inconsistency in belief and action (such as being violated by someone who is supposed ...
ROSENNA BAKARI
As part of the healing process, change your perception of yourself from “victim” to that of “a...
DON EASTON
As recently as 1975, a basic American psychiatry textbook estimated that the frequency of all forms ...
JUDITH LEWIS HERMAN
Few survivors experience spontaneous recall especially if they have no awareness of the abuse ever h...
RENEE FREDRICKSON
My mom called Grandma today and told her we would no longer be attending family parties. My mom told...
ERIN MERRYN
Men as Victims: Challenging Cultural Myths

Judith Herman’s recent treatise on “comple...
DAVID LISAK
Not only do I believe children can be reliable in sexual abuse cases, I believe the vast majority of...
STEPHEN J. CECI
If you ask me do I trust I say yes, just not like before
ALICE LITTLE
During a period in which women and children’s testimony of incest and sexual abuse were gaining an...
MICHAEL SALTER
In the early 1990s, a group of people accused of sexual abuse formed the 'False Memory Syndrome Foun...
MICHAEL SALTER
I really hope that the reading raises people's consciousness of domestic abuse and sexual assaults o...
ALLISON FUNK
Some of the greatest survivors have been women. Look at the courage so many women have shown after s...
BEAR GRYLLS
Several researchers demonstrate the ways people fail to label trauma as such or underreport traumati...
JENNIFER J. FREYD
One hundred twenty-nine women with documented histories of sexual victimization in childhood were in...
LINDA M. WILLIAMS
In a series of three studies, the offenders who claimed they were abused as a child were 67 percent,...
ANNA C. SALTER
The sexual abuse of women inmates is torture, plain and simple. Shackling and medical neglect of wom...
WILLIAM SCHULZ
Survive
...
Some women survive
by creating walls,
big walls guarding their heart...
IJEOMA UMEBINYUO
Though all the daughters eventually succeeded in escaping from their families, they felt, even at th...
JUDITH LEWIS HERMAN
Who said 'please' that made you hate the word so much?"
Andrew gazed at him in silence for a mi...
NORA SAKAVIC
I sometimes continue to see myself in split ways; it causes me trouble and contributes to a lack of ...
MAUREEN BRADY
Demands for equality for women are threats to men's self-esteem and sense of sexual turf.
ALICE S. ROSSI
Her eyes bled from venomous anger...
Her flower had been gruesomely deflowered...
Her life...
CHINONYE J. CHIDOLUE
Why Is It So Important to Remember?

When you were abused, those around you acted as if it...
BEVERLY ENGEL
The unconscious mind always operates in the present tense, and when a memory is buried in the uncons...
RENEE FREDRICKSON
Anyone who shames survivors of trauma and abuse for not healing, is a person who has no compassion f...
ALICE LITTLE
The term dissociation is ordinarily used to describe the phenomenon of compartmentalization o...
JAMES A. CHU
As I discussed in the previous chapter, attachment researchers have shown that our earliest caregive...
BESSEL A. VAN DER KOLK
Preliminary research-most of it published outside the medical literature-indicates that a significan...
DAVID SCHNEIDER
Abuse is never deserved, it is an exploitation of innocence and physical disadvantage, which is perc...
LORRAINE NILON
the abuser's desire to abuse is not created by the child - it is there before the child appears
CAROLYN AINSCOUGH
Deciding to actively heal is terrifying because it means opening up to hope. For many survivors, hop...
ELLEN BASS
Survivors of abuse show us the strength of their personal spirit every time they smile.
JEANNE MCELVANEY
You can recognize survivors of abuse by their courage. When silence is so very inviting, they step f...
JEANNE MCELVANEY
When we learn to recognize the unique quality of Memory-Dreams, we are empowered. The abused child w...
JEANNE MCELVANEY
As we grow older, the riveting, dis-empowering feelings that grabbed us during moments of our abuse ...
JEANNE MCELVANEY
When you feel caught in the web of childhood abuse, find words to describe it. Write them. Say them....
JEANNE MCELVANEY
Honoring all ways we survived our childhood abuse is healing. We were amazing and courageous.
JEANNE MCELVANEY
We aren't the weeds in the crack of life. We're the strong,amazing flowers that found a way to grow ...
JEANNE MCELVANEY
Sexual abuse is also a secret crime, one that usually has no witness. Shame and secrecy keep a child...
RENEE FREDRICKSON
Like Jocelyn, Survivors often think: * That’s just the way I am
* I’m not lovable, that’...
CAROLYN AINSCOUGH
The consequences of your denial will be with you for a lifetime and will be passed down to the next ...
PATTY RASE HOPSON
Blaming therapy, social work and other caring professions for the confabulation of testimony of 'sat...
MICHAEL SALTER
We decided we were really going to look at the survivor side of child abuse. (Cindy Hall) was a surv...
CHERYL LOVE
I look upon the gift of my life as a wondrous journey.
MAUREEN BRADY
The biased use of pronouns serves to perpetuate the culturally based myth that men are perpetrators ...
DAVID LISAK
Since most sexual abuse begins well before puberty, preventive education, if it is to have any effec...
JUDITH LEWIS HERMAN
Since most sexual abuse begins well before puberty, preventive education, if it is to have any effec...
JUDITH LEWIS HERMAN
Denial forces victims to retreat in lifeless existence, dieing in the shadows of buried trauma and p...
TRUDY METZGER
I am filled with truth at my center where I once held shame.
MAUREEN BRADY
With regards pedophilia I have always looked on it as that … pedophilia. I thought that one religi...
STEPHEN RICHARDS
Religion to me was only something to be used and abused, as it had done nothing for me other than gi...
STEPHEN RICHARDS
All these do-gooders make it sound like you just have to repent and off you go to heaven, but what a...
STEPHEN RICHARDS
A lot of attention has been given over to the Catholic Churches sexual abuse of children in their ca...
STEPHEN RICHARDS
Just as much as the media portray child sexual exploitation as being a 'hidden' crime, then that is ...
STEPHEN RICHARDS
From spending ten years in hell and coming to this regime of kindness was a shock. It was so much of...
STEPHEN RICHARDS
From a young boy’s viewpoint this could not get any worse, especially when you were told that you ...
STEPHEN RICHARDS
I dived out of the office and I was gone … hitting these fields like a mad March hare. This wasn�...
STEPHEN RICHARDS
I was becoming a product of society, a hardened juvenile! Now I was becoming rebellious and hateful.
STEPHEN RICHARDS
No matter what tight corner I was in, I was capable of getting myself out of it … not God!
STEPHEN RICHARDS
Women need total life support services for the mother as she and the family move through the crisis ...
JANIS TYLER JOHNSON
Children who feel unloved and unprotected are like a half-filled cup. They become incapable of ‘fi...
BEVERLY ENGEL
One in four girls will experience sexual abuse by the time she is sixteen, and 48 percent of all rap...
PATTI FEUEREISEN
Healing isn’t just about pain. It’s about learning to love yourself. As you move from feeling li...
ELLEN BASS
When we first begin to take power more directly, after long having kept our relationship to it under...
MAUREEN BRADY
If someone thinks you’re being dramatic or selfish, then they obviously haven’t walked a mile in...
SARAH NEWMAN
In order to establish the narrative that innocent men have been the victims of an epidemic of false ...
MICHAEL SALTER
Today, acknowledgement of the prevalence and harms of child sexual abuse is counterbalanced with cau...
MICHAEL SALTER
Too often the survivor is seen by [himself or] herself and others as "nuts," "crazy," or "weird." Un...
DIANE MANDT LANGBERG
In the course of therapy, we often witness clients’ capacities to report abuse stories with intell...
LISA FERENTZ
The more we idealized the past, however, and refuse to acknowledge or childhood sufferings, the more...
ALICE MILLER
Closeness was the promise of suffering and pain
ALICE JAMIESON
Women are an enslaved population -- the crop we harvest is children, the fields we work are houses. ...
ANDREA DWORKIN
Women are an enslaved population / the crop we harvest is children, the fields we work are houses. W...
ANDREA DWORKIN
An undergraduate researching the "witch hunt" cases asked for evidence that there had been more than...
ROSS CHEIT
The witch-hunt narrative is a really popular story that goes like this: Lots of people were falsely ...
ROSS CHEIT
How can one heal from abuse while the abuse continues?
CRISTABEL MICHAELS

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The Internet is so big that no one can control anything, really.
LAURA RAMSEY
When you go in and guest-star on a TV show, they already have their family - everybody pretty much k...
LAURA RAMSEY
You can always turn a bad kisser into a good one.
LAURA PREPON
Free love sounds great.
LAURA PREPON
I moved to Milan when I was 15. I was always looking for something; I never really felt like I belon...
LAURA PREPON
I like to think I'll just be walking down the street one day and stop and meet someone, like, &#...
LAURA PREPON
In any character I ever play, whether she's good or bad or whatever, my most important thing is ...
LAURA PREPON
When you're in prison, and we're left to our own devices, you're stripped of everything,...
LAURA PREPON
I'm obsessed with 'Homeland.' It's not even okay.
LAURA PREPON
On a lot of shows that I've done, we had the same directors, which was cool. But then, it's ...
LAURA PREPON
I've realized how important it is to have women in your life. You get to a certain age where you...
LAURA PREPON
There's nothing you could say that would shock me.
LAURA PREPON
The fact that anyone would find me sexy is very, very flattering, but ridiculous. I so don't bel...
LAURA PREPON
Even in real life, I'd rather hang out with guys.
LAURA PREPON
I am so like Donna it's funny. And most of my friends are guys too.
LAURA PREPON
For some reason, I like to put myself in situations where I don't even know how I ended up there...
LAURA PREPON
I can't stand being around anal people, especially anal people with big egos.
LAURA PREPON
But now that I'm a blonde, guys are so blatant about coming on to me.
LAURA PREPON
I'm the type of person that will do triple sessions in one day. I'll do Pilates, I'll do...
LAURA PREPON
I used to wear boxers and a tank top, but now I sleep in the nude. It's kind of weird, because I...
LAURA PREPON
They have to be able to spark my interest so I want to pursue it, and they have to have an awesome p...
LAURA PREPON
My vintage Levi's are my favorite on the show, 'cause they really fit.
LAURA PREPON
I love being a redhead. It's a rare thing, so I think there's a bond between redheads.
LAURA PREPON
I'm the tomboy so I got to be a little butch.
LAURA PREPON
For me, personally, I watch pretty much everything on Netflix, and I watch all the episodes in a row...
LAURA PREPON
And my mouth is not a sewer, although some people may think it is.
LAURA PREPON
Getting to perform at the Carlyle, following in the footsteps of women like Elaine Stritch, Barbara ...
LAURA OSNES
I don't think I want to transition into being a recording artist for the rest of my life or anyt...
LAURA OSNES
I really have been so, so blessed with all my leading men.
LAURA OSNES
Julie Andrews is so iconic, and I grew up watching 'The Sound of Music' - it's every gir...
LAURA OSNES
I'd love to do movies and be on TV. But I think if I transitioned into TV/film completely, I wou...
LAURA OSNES
I let the whole 'Grease' experience be a springboard for me. I wanted to use the exposure I ...
LAURA OSNES
I don't have a gym membership. I usually do a bit of basic yoga or stretches at home or in my dr...
LAURA OSNES
As wonderful as being on stage is, family comes first.
LAURA OSNES
If I can impact people with my music, that's what I want.
LAURA OSNES
'Bonnie and Clyde' was the first show and the first role that I got to originate. Being part...
LAURA OSNES
That's the ideal. Not to get stuck in a rut playing the same role.
LAURA OSNES
I've never dyed my hair or even gotten highlights. All the products I need for my hair are at th...
LAURA OSNES
If you can be a good example to other people, why not try to be that person? I have a bit of a peopl...
LAURA OSNES
My first Broadway show wasn't until I was a freshman in high school. It was my first trip to New...
LAURA OSNES
Cinderella is making her Broadway debut. It's an honor to step into that position and, in that w...
LAURA OSNES
I'm actually so low maintenance when it comes to my hair. It's naturally stick-straight, but...
LAURA OSNES
I was never like, 'Oh, I really want to play Cinderella.' That's not necessarily always ...
LAURA OSNES
I'm doing what I wanted to do since I was a young girl. I pinch myself every day to make sure it...
LAURA OSNES
Oh, I am such a nerd when it comes to music - I only listen to Broadway!
LAURA OSNES