The difference between appreciation and flattery? That is simple. One is sincere and the other insincere. One comes from the heart out; the other from the teeth out. One is unselfish; the other selfish. One is universally admired; the other universally condemned.

Flattery is telling the other person precisely what he thinks about himself

We are gods in the chrysalis.

Flattery is from the teeth out. Sincere appreciation is from the heart out.

Let’s cease thinking of our accomplishments, our wants. Let’s try to figure out the other man’s good points. Then forget flattery. Give honest, sincere appreciation. Be “hearty in your approbation and lavish in your praise,” and people will cherish your words and treasure them and repeat them over a lifetime-repeat them years after you have forgotten them.

It is not selfishness or unselfishness that distinguishes love from non-love; it is the aim of the action.