The first thing which I can record concerning myself is, that I was born. These are wonderful words. This life, to which neither time nor eternity can bring diminution - this everlasting living soul, began. My mind loses itself in these depths.
Groucho Marx
Related The first thing which I can record concerning myself is, that I was born. These are wonderful words.... MARGARET OLIPHANT Oh, oh, oh... No... just they got me. Undercover??? and what more?? This and this?? DEYTH BANGER As I pen these words to leave a lasting record, I wonder myself where it all began. RICHARD PECK O Lord I thank Thee for this wonderful body which by itself is a miracle. Thank you for this wo... LATIKA TEOTIA This agglomeration which was called and which still calls itself the Holy Roman Empire was neither h... VOLTAIRE This agglomeration which was called and which still calls itself the Holy Roman Empire was neither h... VOLTAIRE That was a memorable day to me, for it made great changes in me. But it is the same with any life. I... CHARLES DICKENS This earth in which we are living is not our everlasting home SUNDAY ADELAJA Nothing in life is more wonderful than faith - the one great moving force which we can neither weigh... WILLIAM OSLER In everything, almost in everything, I wrote I was guided by the need of collecting ideas which, lin... LEO TOLSTOY The law of karma says that no matter what context I find myself in, it is neither my parents, nor my... EKNATH EASWARAN If you are reading this... I'm dead so far probably or still alive who knows? It's bad day in b... DEYTH BANGER Now, what I want is, facts. Teach these boys and girls nothing but Facts. Facts alone are wanted in ... CHARLES DICKENS Most of my failures can be ascribed to the fact that I chose that which was ‘easy’ over that whi... CRAIG D. LOUNSBROUGH There are 2 words that can bring JOY, HAPPINESS, ABUNDANCE, and create MIRACLES in your life. These ... LORRIN L. LEE That deepest thing, that recognition, that knowledge, that sense of kinship began the first time I s... KAHLIL GIBRAN Nobody in this world can explain you the meaning of life, but I can explain it only in four words an... VIKRANT PARSAI The first thing I remember about the world...is that I was a stranger in it. This feeling, which is ... MALCOLM MUGGERIDGE A feeling, for which I have no name, has taken possession of my soul —a sensation which will admit... EDGAR ALLAN POE As I began to love myself I found that anguish and emotional suffering are only warning signs that I... CHARLIE CHAPLIN I was born to hit a baseball. I can hit a baseball. BARRY BONDS For a man can lose neither the past nor the future; for how can one take from him that which is not ... MARCUS AURELIUS I remember joining a boarding school in the sixth grade. I was lazy, complacent, and fat. Suddenly, ... TWINKLE KHANNA I was always a fan of Groucho Marx as a kid. MICHAEL FELDMAN While both these statements refer to eggs, the main difference between these two rather irking state... CHRISTINA ENGELA These mods made significant improvements to the cars – enough so that I changed my mind (another p... CHRISTINA ENGELA Heaven-born, the soul a heavenward course must hold; beyond the world she soars; the wise man, I aff... MICHELANGELO What kind of spiritual triumph it was I can neither write nor speak; it can only be compared with th... JACOB BOEHME I always thought of myself as more American than Americans when I was living in Germany, because I a... KIM DOTCOM Because," explained Mary Rommely simply, "the child must have a valuable thing which is called imagi... BETTY SMITH Whether I shall turn out to be the hero of my own life, or whether that station will be held by anyb... CHARLES DICKENS It was emotional, an unbelievable feeling and I am enjoying this moment. I have a 100% record in fin... ALAN MILLS One of the things about animal rights, which is not the only thing that I care about in this world, ... SAM SIMON A friend of mine had his own theater company, and he jumped me in like I was in a gang. And once I c... DAVID ALAN GRIER Synchronicities then can be said are the product of focused thought which appear as patterns repeati... L.J. VANIER A beginning is that which does not itself follow anything by causal necessity, but after which somet... ARISTOTLE This mode of electioneering suited neither my taste nor my principles. I thought it equally unsuitab... JOHN QUINCY ADAMS My own being can be judged by the depths I reach in making these historical origins my own. KARL JASPERS If I find in myself desires which nothing in this world can satisfy, the only logical explanation is... C.S. LEWIS My brethren, when God first began to love you, He gave you all that He ever meant to give you in the... THOMAS GOODWIN Neither fear nor self-interest can convert the soul. They may change the appearance, perhaps even th... BERNARD OF CLAIRVAUX Throughout my life, there are four people I've met who were truly original people. The other thr... ALICE COOPER I feel in the depths of my soul that it is the highest, most sacred, and most irreversible part of m... ANDREW JACKSON My fashion is part of who I am, and though I was not born with these clothes on, I was born this way... LADY GAGA I was suddenly arrested by what seemed to be an awful voice proclaiming the words, Eternity! Eternit... STEPHEN GRELLET The secret of life is honesty and fair dealing. If you can fake that, you've got it made. Life is a ... GROUCHO MARX The impassive soul disturbs neither itself nor others. EPICURUS You could tell that this was our first game of the season. I can think of only one other game in whi... DAVID HILTON ...I want first of all - in fact, as an end to these other desires - to be at peace with myself. I w... ANNE MORROW LINDBERGH There are three classes of intellects: one which comprehends by itself; another which appreciates wh... NICCOLO MACHIAVELLI Because there are three classes of intellects: one which comprehends by itself; another which apprec... NICCOLò MACHIAVELLI These are fountains of salvation that they who thirst may be satisfied with the living words they co... ATHANASIUS Your heart just breaks, that's all. But you can't judge or point fingers. You just have to be lucky ... AUDREY HEPBURN Time draweth wrinkles in a fair face, but addeth fresh colors to a fast friend, which neither heat, ... JOHN LYLY These are announcements relating to the unseen which We reveal to you, you did not know them-- (neit... QURAN I can confirm our objective is for very significant growth this year. This is the first time that we... BERNARD ARNAULT For I have neither wit, nor words, nor worth, action nor utterance, nor the power of speech, to stir... WILLIAM SHAKESPEARE I worship impersonal Nature, which is neither "good" or "bad", and who knows neither love nor hatred... SAVITRI DEVI These are neither heroes nor martyrs nor saints. CHERYL KEEN I know what the world has done to my brother and how narrowly he has survived it. And I know, which ... JAMES BALDWIN Up there with my awards, I have a great big statue of Groucho Marx, just to put everything in perspe... JOHN LITHGOW Since my subjects have always been my sensations, my states of mind and the profound reactions that ... FRIDA KAHLO The first thing we notice in these storms is the X-rays, which travel at the speed of light and can ... LARRY COMBS This state has got to start living within its means. As soon as I talk to businesses, the first thin... BILL RILEY If I find in myself a desire which no experience in this world can satisfy, the most probable explan... C.S. LEWIS If I find in myself a desire which no experience in this world can satisfy, the most probable explan... C. S. LEWIS After some time, with my eyes closed, I began to enjoy this wonderful play of colors and forms, whic... ALBERT HOFMANN The Gross National Product measures neither our wit nor our courage, neither our wisdom nor our lear... ROBERT KENNEDY What we call life...is the combination of the Five Aggregates, a combination of physical and mental ... WALPOLA RAHULA There are three kinds of intelligence; one kind understands things for itself, the other appreciates... NICCOLO MACHIAVELLI There are three kinds of intelligence: one kind understands things for itself, the other appreciates... NICCOLO MACHIAVELLI This is the historical record. These are the eyewitnesses to these events, so no one can ever say th... ANDREW CARROLL Luxury is the enemy of growth. This is the one thing that I learnt from my father, and I approve of ... ABHIJIT NASKAR There are two types of pain in this life;that of discipline, which lasts a short while... and that o... UNKNOWN It's wonderful that we were able to come to Easton for the first time. I hope this can continue. ATHAN CRIST A person should neither serious nor curious, to the thing which will not profitable for him/her life... RASHID JORVEE Within speech, words are subject to a kind of relation that is independent of the first and based on... FERDINAND DE SAUSSURE These arrests have taken place under the present structures of laws, which proves that these laws ca... AMEER ALI We are all given one thing by which our lives are measured, one determination. Mine are the stories ... SHERMAN ALEXIE Cancer isn't the worst thing that can happen to a person. And neither is dying young. Taking life fo... LURLENE MCDANIEL If I discover within myself a desire which no experience in this world can satisfy, the most probabl... C.S. LEWIS Happiness is neither virtue nor pleasure nor this thing nor that but simply growth, We are happy whe... WILLIAM BUTLER YEATS Happiness is neither virtue nor pleasure nor this thing nor that but simply growth. We are happy whe... WILLIAM BUTLER YEATS Yet they were not afraid, nor rent their garments, neither the king, nor any of his servants that he... BIBLE People, who have real vision, are the ones who can see beyond death. These are the ones who have the... JOHN ALEXANDER TRISTRAM I love 'Soul Meets Body.' The one thing I can say for sure about DCFC: This band is going to be huge... CHARLES CROSS Feelings are waters flowing in chain from soul to soul – do you know the shape of the Universe? Ne... MARIANA FULGER The modern mind is in complete disarray. Knowledge has stretched itself to the point where neither t... ALBERT CAMUS In these times of Darkness, I keep dreaming of a better tomorrow, and praying my soul won't be corru... ISIS SOUSA It's funny, this thing about happiness. It's a commodity that was imported from America in the Fifti... FRANCESCA ANNIS What I feel that I can bring to this commission is I can bring my knowledge of history, of L.A. hist... CERVANTES If you can look into the seeds of time
And say which grain will grow and which will not,
Speak... WILLIAM SHAKESPEARE Evil is the vulgar lover who loves the body rather than the soul, inasmuch as he is not even stable,... PLATO I think that's why we're having these hearings to establish the record that there is a need (to rene... CHARLES MATHIAS I have discovered in my long life that there are many words and phrases which have more power than a... DAVID GEMMELL We are dry in the Plains, but the good thing is that these spring rains can bring up that total pret... KYLE FREDIN With the Mother Earth and Father Sun here to witness I give you my everlasting oath. My body is crea... KAZUSA TAKASHIMA I had no words for these feelings. And then people started using the word Ms. Suddenly, there was th... BETTY BUCKLEY I am not my mind, because I can observe my thoughts. So the observer is different from the observed ... OSHO But if nothing but soul, or in soul mind, is qualified to count, it is impossible for there to be ti... ARISTOTLE
More Groucho Marx
I remember the first time I had sex - I kept the receipt. GROUCHO MARX The secret of life is honesty and fair dealing. If you can fake that, you've got it made. GROUCHO MARX Behind every successful man is a woman, behind her is his wife. GROUCHO MARX I refuse to join any club that would have me as a member. GROUCHO MARX Well, Art is Art, isn't it? Still, on the other hand, water is water. And east is east and west ... GROUCHO MARX I intend to live forever, or die trying. GROUCHO MARX I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an exception. GROUCHO MARX Either he's dead or my watch has stopped. GROUCHO MARX I worked my way up from nothing to a state of extreme poverty. GROUCHO MARX Who are you going to believe, me or your own eyes? GROUCHO MARX Only one man in a thousand is a leader of men--the other 999 follow women. GROUCHO MARX Politics doesn't make strange bedfellows, marriage does. GROUCHO MARX One of the best hearing aids a man can have is an attentive wife. GROUCHO MARX Wives are people who feel they don't dance enough. GROUCHO MARX No man goes before his time -- unless the boss leaves early. GROUCHO MARX Time flies like an arrow, fruit flies like a banana. GROUCHO MARX The trouble with writing a book about yourself is that you can't fool around. If you write about som... GROUCHO MARX Practically everybody in New York has half a mind to write a book, and does. GROUCHO MARX From the moment I picked up your book until I laid it down, I was convulsed with laughter. Some day... GROUCHO MARX The husband who wants a happy marriage should learn to keep his mouth shut and his checkbook open GROUCHO MARX Just give me a comfortable couch, a dog, a good book, and a woman. Then if you can get the dog to go... GROUCHO MARX I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and... GROUCHO MARX I, not events, have the power to make me happy or unhappy today. I can choose which it shall be. Yes... GROUCHO MARX I am so broke, I can't even afford to fill up my bicycle. GROUCHO MARX How does the healthy dog bark? Ruff Ruff.
How does the cold dog bark ? Scarf Scarf.
How... GROUCHO MARX I think it is good that books still exist, but they do make me sleepy. GROUCHO MARX I have a new philosophy. I'm only going to dread one day at a time. GROUCHO MARX Insurance is like marriage. You pay, pay, pay, and you never get anything back. GROUCHO MARX Friends are chocolate chips in the cookie of life! GROUCHO MARX What did the dog say after walking in the desert for hours? If I don't find a tree soon I'm gonna p... GROUCHO MARX I'm a Nillionaire. I have little to no money! GROUCHO MARX One of the great things about books is sometimes there are some fantastic pictures. GROUCHO MARX If aliens saw us walking our dogs and picking up their poop, who would they think is in charge? GROUCHO MARX A child of five could understand this. Send someone to fetch a child of five. GROUCHO MARX I've had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn't it. GROUCHO MARX When you're in jail, a good friend will be trying to bail you out. A best friend will be in the cell... GROUCHO MARX Blessed are the cracked, for they shall let in the light. GROUCHO MARX Military intelligence is a contradiction in terms. GROUCHO MARX I worked myself up from nothing to extreme poverty. GROUCHO MARX Look at me. I worked my way up from nothing to a state of extreme poverty. GROUCHO MARX Please accept my resignation. I don't care to belong to any club that will have me as a member. GROUCHO MARX If you've heard this story before, don't stop me, because I'd like to hear it again. GROUCHO MARX Although it is generally known, I think it's about time to announce that I was born at a very early ... GROUCHO MARX I won't belong to any organization that would have me as a member. GROUCHO MARX I never forget a face, but in your case I'll make an exception. GROUCHO MARX There is one way to find out if a man is honest; ask him! If he says yes you know he's crooked. GROUCHO MARX There is no sweeter sound than the crumbling of ones fellow man. GROUCHO MARX I eat like a vulture. Unfortunately the resemblance doesn't end there. GROUCHO MARX Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog it's too dark to read. GROUCHO MARX Paying alimony is like feeding hay to a dead horse. GROUCHO MARX I did toy with the idea of doing a cook-book. The recipes were to be the routine ones: how to make d... GROUCHO MARX A clown is like aspirin, only he works twice as fast. GROUCHO MARX I'm leaving because the weather is too good. I hate London when it's not raining. GROUCHO MARX My mother loved children--she would have given anything if I had been one. GROUCHO MARX Whoever named it necking is a poor judge of anatomy. GROUCHO MARX No man goes before his time / unless the boss leaves early. GROUCHO MARX The secret of life is honesty and fair dealing. If you can fake that, you've got it made. Life is a ... GROUCHO MARX Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it, misdiagnosing it, and then misapplying the w... GROUCHO MARX No one is completely unhappy at the failure of his best friend. GROUCHO MARX While money can't buy happiness, it certainly lets you choose your own form of misery. GROUCHO MARX I find television very educational. Every time someone switches it on I go into another room and rea... GROUCHO MARX If you've heard this story before, don't stop me, because I'd like to hear it again. GROUCHO MARX Alimony is like buying hay for a dead horse. GROUCHO MARX I don't care to belong to a club that accepts people like me as members. GROUCHO MARX Man does not control his own fate. The women in his life do that for him. GROUCHO MARX Anyone who says he can see through women is missing a lot. GROUCHO MARX Next time I see you, remind me not to talk to you. GROUCHO MARX In Hollywood, brides keep the bouquets and throw away the groom. GROUCHO MARX I must confess, I was born at a very early age. GROUCHO MARX I have a mind to join a club and beat you over the head with it. GROUCHO MARX She got her looks from her father. He's a plastic surgeon. GROUCHO MARX I'm not feeling very well - I need a doctor immediately. Ring the nearest golf course. GROUCHO MARX A hospital bed is a parked taxi with the meter running. GROUCHO MARX Marriage is a wonderful institution, but who wants to live in an institution? GROUCHO MARX All people are born alike - except Republicans and Democrats. GROUCHO MARX From the moment I picked your book up until I laid it down, I was convulsed with laughter. Someday I... GROUCHO MARX I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn't it. GROUCHO MARX Before I speak, I have something important to say. GROUCHO MARX Outside of a dog, a book is a man's best friend. Inside of a dog it's too dark to read. GROUCHO MARX I didn't like the play, but then I saw it under adverse conditions - the curtain was up. GROUCHO MARX Getting older is no problem. You just have to live long enough. GROUCHO MARX Quote me as saying I was mis-quoted. GROUCHO MARX A black cat crossing your path signifies that the animal is going somewhere. GROUCHO MARX I won't belong to any organization that would have me as a member. GROUCHO MARX Please accept my resignation. I don't care to belong to any club that will have me as a member. GROUCHO MARX No man goes before his time - unless the boss leaves early. GROUCHO MARX I'm leaving because the weather is too good. I hate London when it's not raining. GROUCHO MARX Humor is reason gone mad. GROUCHO MARX One morning I shot an elephant in my pajamas. How he got into my pajamas I'll never know. GROUCHO MARX Those are my principles, and if you don't like them... well, I have others. GROUCHO MARX I wish to be cremated. One tenth of my ashes shall be given to my agent, as written in our contract. GROUCHO MARX I have had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn't it. GROUCHO MARX I've got a good mind to go out and join a club and beat you over the head with it. GROUCHO MARX I have nothing but respect for you -- and not much of that. GROUCHO MARX He may look like an idiot and talk like an idiot but don't let that fool you. He really is an idiot. GROUCHO MARX I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury. GROUCHO MARX I, not events, have the power to make me happy or unhappy today. I can choose which it shall be. Yes... GROUCHO MARX Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it everywhere, diagnosing it incorrectly and app... GROUCHO MARX I've got the brain of a four year old. I'll bet he was glad to be rid of it. GROUCHO MARX Politics doesn't make strange bedfellows - marriage does. GROUCHO MARX Hollywood brides keep the bouquets and throw away the grooms. GROUCHO MARX Please accept my resignation. I don't care to belong to any club that will have me as a member. GROUCHO MARX I don’t have a photograph, but you can have my footprints. They’re upstairs in my socks. GROUCHO MARX Whoever named it necking was a poor judge of anatomy. GROUCHO MARX All geniuses die young. GROUCHO MARX There's one way to find out if a man is honest - ask him. If he says, 'Yes,' you know he... GROUCHO MARX I read in the newspapers they are going to have 30 minutes of intellectual stuff on television every... GROUCHO MARX We in the industry know that behind every successful screenwriter stands a woman. And behind her sta... GROUCHO MARX I find television very educational. The minute somebody turns it on, I go to the library and read a ... GROUCHO MARX She got her good looks from her father. He's a plastic surgeon. GROUCHO MARX The husband who wants a happy marriage should learn to keep his mouth shut and his checkbook open. GROUCHO MARX I do not care to belong to a club that accepts people like me as members. GROUCHO MARX No one is completely unhappy at the failure of his best friend. GROUCHO MARX My mother loved children - she would have given anything if I had been one. GROUCHO MARX There is no sweeter sound than the crumbling of one's fellow man. GROUCHO MARX She's afraid that if she leaves, she'll become the live of the party. GROUCHO MARX I'd horsewhip you if I had a horse. GROUCHO MARX In America you can go on the air and kid the politicians, and the politicians can go on the air and ... GROUCHO MARX Practically everybody in New York has half a mind to write a book -and does GROUCHO MARX From the moment I picked your book up until I laid it down I was convulsed with laughter. Some day I... GROUCHO MARX Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana. GROUCHO MARX Those are my principles, and if you don't like them... well, I have others. GROUCHO MARX There's one way to find out if a man is honest-ask him. If he says, "Yes," you know he is a crook. GROUCHO MARX She got her looks from her father. He's a plastic surgeon. GROUCHO MARX Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog it's too dark to read. GROUCHO MARX Money frees you from doing things you dislike. Since I dislike doing nearly everything, money is han... GROUCHO MARX Military justice is to justice what military music is to music. GROUCHO MARX It isn't necessary to have relatives in Kansas City in order to be unhappy. GROUCHO MARX I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn't it. GROUCHO MARX I sent the club a wire stating, PLEASE ACCEPT MY RESIGNATION. I DON'T WANT TO BELONG TO ANY CLUB THA... GROUCHO MARX I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an exception. GROUCHO MARX I could dance with you until the cows come home. On second thought I'd rather dance with the cows ... GROUCHO MARX Go, and never darken my towels again. GROUCHO MARX From the moment I picked up your book until I laid it down, I was convulsed with laughter. Some day ... GROUCHO MARX Either this man is dead or my watch has stopped. GROUCHO MARX Age is not a particularly interesting subject. Anyone can get old. All you have to do is live long e... GROUCHO MARX My mother loved children -- she would have given anything if I had been one. GROUCHO MARX A child of five would understand this. Send someone to fetch a child of five. GROUCHO MARX We dont like their sound, and guitar music is on the way out. Well, art is art, isnt it? Still, on t... GROUCHO MARX I don't have a photograph, but you can have my footprints. They're upstairs in my socks. GROUCHO MARX Women should be obscene and not heard. GROUCHO MARX Please accept my resignation. I don't want to belong to any club
that will accept me as a member. GROUCHO MARX Wives are people who feel they don't dance enough GROUCHO MARX I was going to thrash them within an inch of their lives, but I didn't have a tape measure GROUCHO MARX The secret of success is honesty and fair dealing. If you can fake those, you’ve got it made.” GROUCHO MARX Why should I care about posterity? What's posterity ever done for me? GROUCHO MARX My favourite poem is the one that starts 'Thirty days hath September' because it actually tells you ... GROUCHO MARX My favourite poem is the one that starts 'Thirty days hath September' because it actually te... GROUCHO MARX Love flies out the door when money comes innuendo. GROUCHO MARX If income tax is the price you have to pay to keep the government on its feet, alimony is the price ... GROUCHO MARX Don’t ever underestimate the importance of money. I know it’s often been said that money won’t... GROUCHO MARX I must say I find television very educational. The minute somebody turns it on, I go to the library ... GROUCHO MARX You've got the brain of a four-year-old boy, and I bet he was glad to get rid of it GROUCHO MARX Wives are people who feel they don't dance enough. GROUCHO MARX Outside of a dog, a book is a man's best friend. inside of a dog, it's too dark to read. GROUCHO MARX [When Judy Garland lost the 1954 best actress Oscar to Grace Kelly in] The Country Girl, ... Dear Ju... GROUCHO MARX I was so long writing my review that I never got around to reading the book. GROUCHO MARX Politics doesn't make strange bedfellows, marriage does GROUCHO MARX Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana GROUCHO MARX Money will not make you happy, and happy will not make you money GROUCHO MARX Only one man in a thousand is a leader of men, the other 999 follow women GROUCHO MARX A man is only as old as the woman he feels. GROUCHO MARX Here's to our wives and girlfriends...may they never meet! GROUCHO MARX Some people claim that marriage interferes with romance. There's no doubt about it. Anytime you have... GROUCHO MARX If a black cat crosses your path, it signifies that the animal is going somewhere. GROUCHO MARX Yesterday is dead, tomorrow hasn't arrived yet. I have just one day, and I'm going to be happy in it... GROUCHO MARX I'm not crazy about reality, but it's still the only place to get a decent meal. GROUCHO MARX If you're not having fun, you're doing something wrong. GROUCHO MARX One morning I shot an elephant in my pajamas. How he got in my pajamas I'll never know. GROUCHO MARX Those are my principles, and if you don't like them...well I have others. GROUCHO MARX Learn from the mistakes of others. You can never live long enough to make them all yourself. GROUCHO MARX From the moment I picked up your book until I put it down, I was convulsed with laughter. Some day I... GROUCHO MARX It isn't necessary to have relatives in Kansas City in order to be unhappy. GROUCHO MARX Please accept my resignation. I don't want to belong to any club that will accept me as a member GROUCHO MARX I did toy with the idea of doing a cook-book. . . . I think a lot of people who hate literature but ... GROUCHO MARX Why, I'd horse-whip you if I had a horse. GROUCHO MARX I'm giving you 30 days to live. GROUCHO MARX She's afraid that if she leaves, she'll become the life of the party GROUCHO MARX Believe me, you have to get up early if you want to get out of bed GROUCHO MARX A woman is an occasional pleasure but a cigar is always a smoke. GROUCHO MARX And I want to thank you for all the enjoyment you've taken out of it. GROUCHO MARX Remember, we're fighting for this woman's honor, which is probably far more than she's ever done! GROUCHO MARX Hey, when I said work fast, I didn't mean your friend, I meant the maid. GROUCHO MARX Marriage is a wonderful institution...but who wants to live in an institution? GROUCHO MARX I have nothing but confidence in you, and very little of that GROUCHO MARX A man's only as old as the woman he feels. GROUCHO MARX Blood's not thicker than money GROUCHO MARX I didn't like the play, but then I saw it under adverse conditions - the curtain was up. GROUCHO MARX Marry me and I'll never look at another horse! GROUCHO MARX The only real laughter comes from despair. GROUCHO MARX Q: What do you get when you cross an insomniac, an agnostic, and a dyslexic? A: Someone who stay... GROUCHO MARX Either this man is dead
or my watch has stopped. GROUCHO MARX Outside of a dog, a man's best friend is a book. Inside of a dog, it's too dark to read. GROUCHO MARX Why a four-year-old child could understand this report. Run out and find me a four-year-old child. I... GROUCHO MARX I cannot say that I do not disagree with you GROUCHO MARX I would never belong to a group that would accept someone like me as a member. GROUCHO MARX Years ago, I tried to top everybody, but I don't anymore, I realized it was killing conversation. Wh... GROUCHO MARX Remember men, we're fighting for this woman's honor; which is probably more than she ever did. GROUCHO MARX I won't belong to any organization that would have me as a member GROUCHO MARX Did I ever tell you how I shot a wild elephant in my pyjamas? How he got into my pyjamas I'll never ... GROUCHO MARX