The first time I flew after September 11, I honestly was a little paranoid. As I was going to the metal detector, I was looking at my duffel bag, and I'm like, 'Do I have anything that's like a weapon?' I was really paranoid they were gonna find something sharp, and I was gonna get in trouble.

Maz Jobrani

After Anything Bag Detector Find First First Time Flew Get Going Gonna Honestly Like Little Looking Metal Paranoid Really September Sharp Something Time Trouble Weapon Were

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A cultural thing that is funny to me is that every time I go out in D.C. after a show, all the nightclubs and restaurants are owned by Iranians and Afghans. It's funny to me how we lost our countries but we gained the nightlife.

— Maz Jobrani

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Unlike the U.S., Iran has no problems with low-voter turnout in elections; the last time, the government got the support of 110 per cent of the population.

— Maz Jobrani

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The fact is, the Middle East has been going crazy for 50, 60, 70 years. So it's not like, 'Oh, I need an ISIS joke.'

— Maz Jobrani

Here's my advice to my brown friends: The next time you're on an airplane in the U.S., just speak your mother tongue. That way, no one knows what you're saying. Life goes on.

— Maz Jobrani

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Your stereotypical L.A. Persian kids were not working at Sbarro pizza in the mall, but I was.

— Maz Jobrani

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