The follies which a man regrets the most in his life are those which he didn't commit when he had the opportunity.

Before marriage, a man declares that he would lay down his life to serve you; after marriage, he won't even lay down his newspaper to talk to you

It isn't tying himself to one woman that a man dreads when he thinks of marrying; it's separating himself from all the others.

Wedding: the point at which a man stops toasting a woman and begins roasting her.

The tenderest spot in a man's make-up is sometimes the bald spot on top of his head.

Woman: the peg on which the wit hangs his jest, the preacher his text, the cynic his grouch and the sinner his justification.