FastSaying

The hardest thing to do is to be true to yourself, especially when everybody is watching.


Dave Chappelle

  Email Quote to Friends   Link to Quote   Create Short URL  Publish Text About This Quote   Share on Facebook, Twitter, and more
  See Recommended Quotes For You

Related

Stay true to yourself.Take everyday challenge in your stride & strive to make journey of life exactl...
DR ANIL KUMAR SINHA Be true to yourself.Give wings of confidence & courage to your endeavour. Your strength is reflected...
DR ANIL KUMAR SINHA I could not sit seriously down to write a serious Romance under any other motive than to save my lif...
JANE AUSTEN Most powerful of all powers in its holy insinuation is _being_. _To be_ is more powerful than even _...
GEORGE MACDONALD I know now: what is is all that matters. Not the thing you know is meant to be, not what could be, n...
AUGUSTEN BURROUGHS Be true to yourself & your feelings.They will never let you down.
DR ANIL KUMAR SINHA The sad heart needs work to do.
JOAN BAUER Remember that yours is not the only heart that may be wishing for love.
CAMERON DOKEY It's a sheer and an utter nonsense to even think or imagine that a person can gain and retain people...
ANUJ SOMANY Be true to yourself.Let your belief & thoughts for right cause are not compromised at any cost thoug...
DR ANIL KUMAR SINHA Everyone always says how I'm so smart, but they don't know what it's like being me. always feeling l...
SUSANE COLASANTI Be true to yourself & know your virtue & capability. This will inculcate sense of confidence & fulln...
DR ANIL KUMAR SINHA You know you're being yourself when you 'please' without trying (so hard).
MITTA XININDLU You have the approval of yourself. That's quite enough for we who know true inner peace! - Charmaini...
CHARMAINE SMITH LADD The quest of the Inner Ring will break your hearts unless you break it. But if you break it, a surpr...
C.S. LEWIS Well, I have lost you; and I lost you fairly;
In my own way, and with my full consent.
Say...
EDNA ST. VINCENT MILLAY The market is still waiting for HSBC results, which will have a big impact on the direction of the m...
ANDREW TO Property shares had a technical rebound, but interest rate concerns will still affect properties unt...
ANDREW TO Bank of China's results were quite good; double-digit growth can be taken as good results for a bank...
ANDREW TO The index tried to challenge 18,000 but failed, so that triggered profit taking. Tokyo's slide also ...
ANDREW TO Trading seems to be focusing on selective counters because investors are cautious amid interest rate...
ANDREW TO We're seeing a minor technical rebound after Wall Street rebounded from two days of losses. The key ...
ANDREW TO Some investors have returned to pick up the stock at bargain prices.
ANDREW TO I think the take-up for the placement is not too good and other property developers may be discourag...
ANDREW TO We are afraid that our freedoms and liberties will be infringed in the future.
ANDREW TO I think there was some minor selling pressure on telecom stocks as the market continued to see a wea...
ANDREW TO The love you get, is equal to the love you give.
BEN OAK If you can BE your way through it, you can find your way to it.
SUZETTE VEARNON The moon does not fight. It attacks no one. It does not worry. It does not try to crush others. It k...
MING-DAO DENG Do you know what i hate? I hate people who hides behind GOD, it doesn't matter how much u pray or fa...
CRYSTAL DEONARINE It's like I'm trying to distract him with something shiny." Cath circled her spoon hand in front of ...
RAINBOW ROWELL The truer you are to yourself, the greater your gifts will manifest themselves.
TIFFANY L. JACKSON Be yourself. An original is worth more than a copy.

Style is King, 2008.
SUZY KASSEM To love is to act.
VICTOR HUGO War is no solution to peace.
BEN OAK When our lips parted, he sighed. “I love those eyes, angel. When they look at me, I feel like anyt...
BIJOU HUNTER Honesty is a complex and tricky thing, and we don't want to be honest all the time.
DAN ARIELY To be, or not to be, that is the question.
WILLIAM SHAKESPEARE Each day I will accomplish one thing on my to do list.
LAILAH GIFTY AKITA The worst thing to call somebody is crazy. It's dismissive. "I don't understand this person. So they...
DAVE CHAPPELLE Your "Not To Do" list is also important.
MANI S. SIVASUBRAMANIAN A True Wise Man Surrenders Every Thing Freely To God While Alive.
A Foolish Man Surrenders Ever...
BABA TUNDE OJO-OLUBIYO Nothing is ever as good or as bad as it appears to be.
JEFFREY FRY To be or not to be. That's not really a question.
JEAN-LUC GODARD Whatever you do don't let anybody talk you into doing something about the way you look ever.
JOHN CASABLANCAS I am not a typical human being. I am me and don't try to be anything but that because God didn't giv...
TAMMY WOOSTER If you don’t have a goal and don’t know where you want to be and when you want be there. You are...
AHMED ALI ANJUM To be rich simply means,to be able to meet people's need.
DAVID ATTA (A.K.A DAVIED ATTLARS & MR DAIN) when your heart touched mine,I knew then we were one.
THERESA M WILSON To be rich simply means to be beneficial to others.
DAVID ATTA (A.K.A DAVIED ATTLARS & MR DAIN) More than any woman I ever knew, she comforted.' -Mrs. Huxley about Emma
DEBORAH HEILIGMAN That's silly,' said Martha. 'Friends should always tell each other the truth.
JAMES MARSHALL Kindness is the essence of greatness and the fundamental characteristic of the noblest men and women...
JOSEPH B. WIRTHLIN In this long eternal quest to be more like our Savior, may we try to be “perfect” men and women ...
JEFFREY R. HOLLAND And we learned that you don't have to be famous or rich or physically healthy to be a leader. You ju...
JOAN BAUER There is no tomorrow to remember if we don’t do something today, and to live most fully today, we ...
THOMAS S. MONSON Beauty—real everlasting beauty—lives not on our faces, but in our attitude and our actions. It l...
JUSTINA CHEN It's a a damn good day to be alive.
MICHAEL CLIFFORD Sheep don’t need the shepherd to be what they are. The shepherd needs sheep to be what he is.
LJUPKA CVETANOVA Be true to yourself & take responsibility of your action.
DR ANIL KUMAR SINHA Respect your own self being.Don’t compromise by living someone else life.
DR ANIL KUMAR SINHA Being true to self is better than being liar to impress & influence other.
DR ANIL KUMAR SINHA Being true to self is the biggest accomplishment.You are born original, remain original by virtue of...
DR ANIL KUMAR SINHA When you are true to yourself, you are completely honest with what you feel, deeply value, and desir...
DR ANIL KUMAR SINHA Be true to yourself. Being true to yourself is most effective way to make you proud of yourself.Make...
DR ANIL KUMAR SINHA Pay attention to your deeper senses and feelings, and by cultivating greater awareness in your life,...
DR ANIL KUMAR SINHA Inculcate virtue of being true to self.Being true to self will arm you with high self esteem & keep ...
DR ANIL KUMAR SINHA Being true to oneself is the most personally valuable skill one can acquire, for it leads to genuine...
DR ANIL KUMAR SINHA Be honest to yourself & follow your dreams.Stay true to yourself because it’s only you who will ma...
DR ANIL KUMAR SINHA Follow your passion,remain true & loyal to yourself,be master of own motivation & inspiration , life...
DR ANIL KUMAR SINHA But the examinations are the chief bugbears of my college life. Although I have faced them many time...
HELEN KELLER ...our enjoyment of the great works of literature depends more upon the depth of our sympathy than u...
HELEN KELLER I am free to choose my own actions. Indeed, like everyone else, I must be so. A good act that is com...
CAMERON DOKEY What is it really like to be engaged?" asked Anne curiously.

"Well, that all depends on ...
L.M. MONTGOMERY Popularity ends on yearbook day-Respect stays forever.
JOHN BYTHEWAY If you have to ask, you've never been in love. More than that, you've never had your feelings hurt b...
CAMERON DOKEY When one reads hurriedly and nervously, having in mind written tests and examinations, one's brain b...
HELEN KELLER I didn’t study medicine to watch people die." -Kira
DAN WELLS But now we've finally taken full possession of what is rightfully ours, because everyone must feel t...
NEAL SHUSTERMAN That's wrong," she declared. "Everyone must have one thing that they can excel at. It's just a matte...
HARUKI MURAKAMI There’s only one question that matters, Ms. Lane, and it’s the one you never get around to askin...
KAREN MARIE MONING Girls you are stronger than you know.. If you don't like being treated like a doormat the get the f*...
KELLY ELLIOTT I’m like that. Either I forget right away or I never forget.
SAMUEL BECKETT I think the hardest thing to do in a relationship is something for yourself.
KAT GRAHAM In my study, there are stacks of papers to grade, books I should have read & reviewed months ago...
JESS ROW Do I have the courage of being a ruthless man to myself with the complete knowledge on my manner or ...
FEREIDOON YAZDI PEACE IS THE OBJECTIVE TO WAR, BUT THE BLOOD RUNNETH STILL
NATALIE URQUIETA And I knew that it was possible he wasn't entirely right for me, but I also knew, in some way...
CATHERINE LACEY 37. It is better to be single and unhappy than unhappily married.
JAMES C. DOBSON Dave Chappelle asked me to come do his show. I read the script, and I said, 'Has he lost his min...
MARLA GIBBS The fellow that can only see a week ahead is always the popular fellow, for he is looking with the c...
WILL SMITH Do no look for that ideal person to be with, be that ideal person.
JEFFREY FRY When something is the right thing for you to do some will call your action 'courage.' There is a goo...
ELIZABETH ALRAUNE Because no matter what they say, you always have a choice. You just don’t always have the guts to ...
RAY N. KUILI To be or not to be is not a question of compromise. Either you be or you don't be.
GOLDA MEIR To be mad is worse than not to be if this is what it is.
JOHNNY RICH Hamlet's Cat's Soliloquy

"To go outside, and there perchance to stay
Or to re...
HENRY N. BEARD Meant to be" allows for lazy. The idea of destiny alleviates anxiety; it comforts us. We stop believ...
STEPHANIE KLEIN To be or not to be isn't the question. The question is how to prolong being.
TOM ROBBINS To be loved is a strength. To love is a weakness.
ZSA ZSA GABOR

More Dave Chappelle

I'm famous today. People like me today. Might not like me tomorrow. You can't count on it.
DAVE CHAPPELLE There's something about doing stand-up that's cathartic.
DAVE CHAPPELLE The language you are about to hear... is disturbing.
DAVE CHAPPELLE Every black American is bilingual. All of them. We speak street vernacular and we speak 'job int...
DAVE CHAPPELLE I'm not smoking crack. I'm definitely stressed out.
DAVE CHAPPELLE I think extreme sports are really good for relieving stress.
DAVE CHAPPELLE I want to tell my jokes. I want to have time with my children. I want to entertain people. And at on...
DAVE CHAPPELLE The way the people around you position themselves around you to get in your pockets and in your mind...
DAVE CHAPPELLE I'm an introspective dude.
DAVE CHAPPELLE You can become famous but you can't become unfamous. You can become infamous but not unfamous.
DAVE CHAPPELLE One of the things that happens when people make the leap from a certain amount of money to tens of m...
DAVE CHAPPELLE I got 10 minutes I'm saving. If you do it, I'll do it.
DAVE CHAPPELLE I see that they put every black man in the movies in a dress at some point in his career.
DAVE CHAPPELLE I felt in a lot of instances I was deliberately being put through stress because when you're a guy w...
DAVE CHAPPELLE You know you must be doing something right if old people like you.
DAVE CHAPPELLE ... because he was taking weekends off!
DAVE CHAPPELLE But there was something really serendipitous that was happening, with some kind of energy that thing...
DAVE CHAPPELLE I got a big kick out of that, actually. I think even when we were doing the concert ... everyone tho...
DAVE CHAPPELLE By the numbers, this was the worst way to have done it. He couldn't think straight. It was fight or ...
DAVE CHAPPELLE Most people don't know what it's like to stand up there and speak their mind. I have a venue to do t...
DAVE CHAPPELLE I get a little heated when I talk about the past. But I wanted to be clear - I'm not mad at anyb...
DAVE CHAPPELLE I was doing sketches that were funny, but socially irresponsible. It was encouraged.
DAVE CHAPPELLE It's the concert I always wanted to see.
DAVE CHAPPELLE I wasn't crazy but it is incredibly stressful.
DAVE CHAPPELLE I still think people do have racial hang-ups, but I think one of the reasons I can joke about it is ...
DAVE CHAPPELLE I think every group of black guys should have at least one white guy in it.
DAVE CHAPPELLE I was doing sketches that were funny but socially irresponsible. I felt I was deliberately being enc...
DAVE CHAPPELLE I like that particular kind of attention. People don't know what it's like standing up there onstage...
DAVE CHAPPELLE By the numbers, this was the worst way to have done it. He couldn't think straight. It was fight or ...
DAVE CHAPPELLE I don't normally talk about my religion publicly because I don't want people to associate me...
DAVE CHAPPELLE I love Ohio.
DAVE CHAPPELLE I love being famous - it's phenomenal.
DAVE CHAPPELLE Most of the people around me have a vested interest in how much money I make. You know, so a celebri...
DAVE CHAPPELLE The worst thing to call somebody is crazy. It's dismissive. "I don't understand this person. So they...
DAVE CHAPPELLE The girl says "Oh uh-uh, wait a minute! Wait a minute! Just because I'm dressed this way does not ma...
DAVE CHAPPELLE My father told me 'Name your price in the beginning. If it ever gets more expensive than the pri...
DAVE CHAPPELLE The worst thing to call somebody is crazy. It's dismissive.
DAVE CHAPPELLE The only thing harder than leaving show business is coming back.
DAVE CHAPPELLE There's a lot of people who don't want anything from me but to laugh and have a good time. Y...
DAVE CHAPPELLE If I can make a teacher's salary doing comedy, I think that's better than being a teacher.
DAVE CHAPPELLE I don't want the money. I don't want the drama. I just want to do my show. I want to have fu...
DAVE CHAPPELLE You got to be careful of the company you keep.
DAVE CHAPPELLE I just always loved stand-up. It's like magic. You say something, and a whole room full of peopl...
DAVE CHAPPELLE If you don't have the right people around you and you're moving at a million miles an hour y...
DAVE CHAPPELLE I'm cool with failing so long as I know that there are people around me that love me uncondition...
DAVE CHAPPELLE The world can't tell you who you are. You've just got to figure out who you are and be there...
DAVE CHAPPELLE You know, be able to do something great in your life, you're gonna have to realize your failures...
DAVE CHAPPELLE So then he comes in and I says 'Listen, b*tch, ahm Rick James.'
DAVE CHAPPELLE We would have not moved to a house if Jeanne (Klein) hadn't said it was OK. When I talked to her she...
GERMAINE CHAPPELLE I do still get shocked every once in a while when I catch my reflection when I'm walking past a ...
DAVE MATTHEWS Yeah, I know, some people are against drunk driving, and I call those people 'the cops.' But...
DAVE ATTELL Everyone has a breaking point, turning point, stress point, the game is permeated with it. The fans ...
DAVE WINFIELD Life is anything that dies when you stomp on it.
DAVE BARRY We operate under a jury system in this country, and as much as we complain about it, we have to admi...
DAVE BARRY Instead of sailing off into the sunset, he hopes to sail into the next century.
DAVE ANDERSON For me, the worst part of playing golf, by far, has always been hitting the ball.
DAVE BARRY What may seem depressing or even tragic to one person may seem like an absolute scream to another pe...
DAVE BARRY Eating rice cakes is like chewing on a foam coffee cup, only less filling.
DAVE BARRY Snowboarding is an activity that is very popular with people who do not feel that regular skiing is ...
DAVE BARRY If you had to identify, in one word, the reason why the human race has not achieved, and never will ...
DAVE BARRY Although golf was originally restricted to wealthy, overweight Protestants, today it's open to a...
DAVE BARRY The four building blocks of the universe are fire, water, gravel and vinyl.
DAVE BARRY It is a scientific fact that your body will not absorb cholesterol if you take it from another perso...
DAVE BARRY The Sixties are now considered a historical period, just like the Roman Empire.
DAVE BARRY I never excelled at one sport or had a very strong passion for anything other than wrestling and bod...
DAVE BAUTISTA A lot of these kids I think are more content just to be on Facebook and the computer than they are t...
DAVE ATTELL As an individual, I think you have to find your own path. I like the simplicity and purity of Hindui...
DAVE DAVIES I had a few brushes with death, where I nearly chose to go. The final one in 1996 did it for me. I s...
DAVE GAHAN The important thing to remember is that bugs don't actually talk.
DAVE FOLEY When people get disillusioned and get insecure and content about the future, they tend to brood abou...
DAVE DAVIES Jazz isn't dead yet. It's the underpinning of everything in this country. Whether it's a...
DAVE BRUBECK And that's actually the brunt of what we do is, people going straight from their workplace, stra...
DAVE EGGERS That's country music for you - bourbon and the Bible.
DAVE HAYWOOD So this is the space during tutoring hours. It's very busy. Same principles: one-on-one attentio...
DAVE EGGERS You can do and use the skills that you have. The schools need you. The teachers need you. Students a...
DAVE EGGERS The Left likes to think of itself as the bulwark of progressive liberal individualism, and yet it se...
DAVE BRAT Camping is nature's way of promoting the motel business.
DAVE BARRY A standard sitcom... is a very standard idea, like these people falling in love and living with each...
DAVE FINKEL Standing out as a writer today requires more than a bright idea and limpid prose. Authors need to be...
DAVE MORRIS Empire Square production finishes in about a month's time, so at the moment, right now, I'm ...
DAVE ROWNTREE It is criminal to put our servicemen and women in harm's way and to put the lives of so many civ...
DAVE MATTHEWS We don't have enough people going into those fields and there is a high burnout rate in some hea...
DAVE OBEY Eternal boyhood is the dream of a depressing percentage of American males, and the locker room is th...
DAVE BARRY If it weren't for marriage, men and women would have to fight with total strangers.
DAVE BARRY The question is, why are politicians so eager to be president? What is it about the job that makes i...
DAVE BARRY I go to see some big shows of other bands, and I feel like I'm so bombarded and over-stimulated ...
DAVE GAHAN I'm tired of high policy talks. I want to focus on nuts and bolts.
DAVE FREUDENTHAL The thing that will never go away is that connection you make with a band or a song where you're...
DAVE GROHL I played a homosexual bodyguard in 'The Last Detective,' and that was quite a pleasure to do...
DAVE LEGENO It is a scientific fact that your body will not absorb cholesterol if you take it from another perso...
DAVE BARRY The baby boomer surge is forcing society to face decisions about costs - and particularly what is va...
DAVE DEBRONKART Granted, a long book can be as daunting as a hard one. I nearly reached for 'Game of Thrones'...
DAVE MORRIS Joy comes from places you least expect it. It's usually the simple things, like watching my son ...
DAVE GAHAN If a woman has to choose between catching a fly ball and saving an infant's life, she will choose to...
DAVE BARRY The one thing that unites all human beings, regardless of age, gender, religion, economic status, or...
DAVE BARRY The waves of love roll throughout the Universe, and overflow in our hearts..
Everything is ONE!
DAVE ZEBIAN I like the relaxed way in which the Japanese approach religion. I think of myself as basically a mor...
DAVE BARRY I'm so alive.

As I stand facing the beauty of the never-ending Pacific Ocean, a late afte...
DAVE PELZER 'Breaking Bad' and 'The Shield' were planned right from the start so that their narr...
DAVE MORRIS I found there's a fairly blatant racism in America that's already there, and I don't thi...
DAVE MATTHEWS I want to make hand-held music, undiminished by the need to make everybody in the world listen at on...
DAVE SITEK We all have to die some day, if we live long enough.
DAVE FARBER We Americans live in a nation where the medical-care system is second to none in the world, unless...
DAVE BARRY The primary function of the government is - and here I am quoting directly from the U.S. Constitutio...
DAVE BARRY There just isn’t enough cock in this world to be caught suckin’ and be called anything but a slu...
DAVE MATTHES ...you're either gonna spend your life fucking pussy, or taking it to church.
DAVE MATTHES I am not the only person who uses his computer mainly for the purpose of diddling with his computer.
DAVE BARRY That’s what books do. They are the building blocks, the DNA, if you will, of you. Think of everyth...
DAVE EGGERS I will not wait to love as best as I can. We thought we were young and that there would be time to l...
DAVE EGGERS Quantity is what you count, quality is what you count on.
DAVE BARRY It's true that we don't know what we've got until we lose it, but it's also true that we don't know ...
DAVE BARRY You had me at "We'll make it look like an accident."
DAVE BARRY Wear short sleeves! Support your right to bare arms!
DAVE BARRY I'd take a nerf bullet for you.
DAVE BARRY What if everything is an illusion and nothing exists? In that case, I definitely overpaid for my car...
DAVE BARRY The first person who decided to say a word instead of throwing a rock can be considered the starter ...
DAVE BARRY It was not that Adam ate the apple for the apple's sake, but because it was forbidden. It would have...
DAVE BARRY I was always taught to respect my elders and I've now reached the age when I don't have anybody to r...
DAVE BARRY Painting: The art of protecting flat surfaces from the weather and exposing them to the critic.
DAVE BARRY I may not know Karate, but I know crazy and I'm not afraid to use it.
DAVE BARRY In beer there is freedom, in wine there is health, in cognac there is power and in water there is ba...
DAVE BARRY Books have a unique way of stopping time in a particular moment and saying: Let’s not forget this.
DAVE EGGERS Wake up naked drinking coffee
Making plans to change the world
While the world is changing...
DAVE MATTHEWS Electricity is actually made up of extremely tiny particles called electrons, that you cannot see wi...
DAVE BARRY Can you imagine the reaction of a British tabloid newspaper if they found a small school in rural En...
DAVE GORMAN We have advantages. We have a cushion to fall back on. This is abundance. A luxury of place and time...
DAVE EGGERS How could I have been anyone other than me?
DAVE MATTHEWS My band career ended late in my senior year when John Cooper and I threw my amplifier out the dormit...
DAVE BARRY As a rule, software systems do not work well until they have been used, and have failed repeatedly, ...
DAVE PARNAS Don't get suckered in by the comments ... they can terribly be misleading.
DAVE STORER Giving half answers won't make the conversation half as long.
DAVE JOHNSON Not all chemicals are bad. Without chemicals such as hydrogen and oxygen, for example, there would b...
DAVE BARRY A theme is a memory aid, it helps you through the presentation just as it also provides the thread o...
DAVE CAREY What Women Want: To be loved, to be listened to, to be desired, to be respected, to be needed, to be...
DAVE BARRY Thus the metric system did not really catch on in the States, unless you count the increasing popula...
DAVE BARRY Guys are simple... women are not simple and they always assume that men must be just as complicated ...
DAVE BARRY Democracy: In which you say what you like and do what you're told.
DAVE BARRY There are two distinctive classes of people today, those who have personal computers, and those who ...
DAVE BARRY The obvious and fair solution to the housework problem is to let men do the housework for, say, the ...
DAVE BARRY It is inhumane, in my opinion, to force people who have a genuine medical need for coffee to wait in...
DAVE BARRY In the old days, it was not called the Holiday Season; the Christians called it 'Christmas' and went...
DAVE BARRY Although Golf was originally restricted to wealthy Protestants, today its open to anybody who owns h...
DAVE BARRY Although golf was originally restricted to wealthy, overweight Protestants, today it's open to anybo...
DAVE BERRY Anything done for the first time unleashes a demon.
DAVE SIM I argue very well. Ask any of my remaining friends. I can win an argument on any topic, against any ...
DAVE BARRY The word user is the word used by the computer professional when they mean idiot.
DAVE BARRY A thunderstorm is God's way of saying you spend too much time in front of the computer
DAVE BARRY It is a good idea to "shop around" before you settle on a doctor. Ask about the condition of his Mer...
DAVE BARRY Americans who travel abroad for the first time are often shocked to discover that, despite all the p...
DAVE BARRY The Democrats seem to be basically nicer people, but they have demonstrated time and again that they...
DAVE BARRY My problem with chess was that all my pieces wanted to end the game as soon as possible.
DAVE BARRY The word aerobics comes from two Greek words: aero, meaning "ability to," and bics, meaning "withst...
DAVE BARRY Dogs feel very strongly that they should always go with you in the car, in case the need should aris...
DAVE BARRY The ultimate camping trip was the Lewis and Clark expedition.
DAVE BARRY The simple truth is that balding African-American men look cool when they shave their heads, whereas...
DAVE BARRY We Americans live in a nation where the medical-care system is second to none in the world, unless y...
DAVE BARRY Scientists tell us that the fastest animal on earth, with a top speed of 120 ft/sec, is a cow that h...
DAVE BARRY If a woman has to choose between catching a fly ball and saving infant's life, she will choose to sa...
DAVE BARRY And computers are getting smarter all the time: scientists tell us that soon they will be able to ta...
DAVE BARRY The problem with writing about religion is that you run the risk of offending sincerely religious pe...
DAVE BARRY Politicians are like diapers. They both need changing regularly and for the same reason.
DAVE BARRY New York Taxi Rules:1. Driver speaks no English.2. Driver just got here two days ago from someplace ...
DAVE BARRY Meetings are an addictive, highly self-indulgent activity that corporations and other large organiza...
DAVE BARRY Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day; teach that person to use the Internet and they won...
DAVE BARRY Never under any circumstances take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night
DAVE BARRY Camping is nature's way of promoting the motel business.
DAVE BARRY Fishing is boring, unless you catch an actual fish, and then it is disgusting.
DAVE BARRY I care about our young people, and I wish them great success, because they are our Hope for the Futu...
DAVE BARRY One day soon the Gillette company will announce the development of a razor that, thanks to a compute...
DAVE BARRY If you can't excell with talent, triumph with effort.
DAVE WEINBAUM People who want to share their religious views with you almost never want you to share yours with th...
DAVE BARRY Our environmental problems originate in the hubris of imagining ourselves as the central nervous sys...
DAVE FOREMAN Electricity is actually made up of extremely tiny particles called electrons that you cannot see wit...
DAVE BARRY We believe that electricity exists, because the electric company keeps sending us bills for it, but ...
DAVE BARRY We are not meant to know everything, Mae. Did you ever think that perhaps our minds are delicately c...
DAVE EGGERS You sit at a desk twelve hours a day and you have nothing to show for it except some numbers that wo...
DAVE EGGERS It’s not that I’m not social. I’m social enough. But the tools you guys create actually manufa...
DAVE EGGERS Even in a country like the USA where fitness has become an obsession, most people exercising do not ...
DAVE WILSON Karate is a form of martial arts in which people who have had years and years of training can, usi...
DAVE BARRY We journalists make it a point to know very little about an extremely wide variety of topics; this i...
DAVE BARRY Life's real failure is when you do not realize how close you were to success when you gave up.
DAVE CHECKETT You can't choose what you're famous for in life.
DAVE KELLETT The English language was carefully, carefully cobbled together by three blind dudes and a German dic...
DAVE KELLETT A great marriage is not when the 'perfect couple' comes together. It is when an imperfect couple lea...
DAVE MEURER Dogs feel very strongly that they should always go with you in the car, in case the need should aris...
DAVE BARRY The future is no place to place your better days.
DAVE MATTHEWS Nothing can do what a book can do. Lifts you out of your life... to a whole new world, whole new per...
DAVE KELLETT I was trying to make the web more civil. I was trying to make it more elegant. I got rid of anonymit...
DAVE EGGERS Gang violence in America is not a sudden problem. It has been a part of urban life for years, offeri...
DAVE REICHERT It's all very boring to say that we get along great and all that and sometimes we mock up come a...
DAVE EDMUNDS To an adolescent, there is nothing in the world more embarrassing than a parent.
DAVE BARRY American consumers have no problem with carcinogens, but they will not purchase any product, includi...
DAVE BARRY Violence and smut are of course everywhere on the airwaves. You cannot turn on your television witho...
DAVE BARRY In terms of personalities - I don't care about the personalities, I want leadership that's i...
DAVE BRAT I became a war hero before going on to critical acclaim as a professional victim.
DAVE PELZER Gravity is a contributing factor in nearly 73 percent of all accidents involving falling objects.
DAVE BARRY When you please others in hopes of being accepted, you lose you self-worth in the process.
DAVE PELZER Your modern teenager is not about to listen to advice from an old person, defined as a person who re...
DAVE BARRY I work 338 days a year, 16 hours a day.
DAVE PELZER At a family's most difficult time, I want to make sure at a minimum that they have the very basi...
DAVE REICHERT