The impulse to cruelty is, in many people, almost as violent as the impulse to sexual love - almost as violent and much more mischievous.

Chastity - the most unnatural of all the sexual perversions.

You should hurry up and acquire the cigar habit. It's one of the major happinesses. And so much more lasting than love, so much less costly in emotional wear and tear.

Great is truth, but still greater, from a practical point of view, is silence about truth. By simply not mentioning certain subjects... totalitarian propagandists have influenced opinion much more effectively than they could have by the most eloquent denunciations.

People are much too solemn about things - I'm all for sticking pins into Episcopal behinds

That we are not much sicker and much madder than we are is due exclusively to that most blessed and blessing of all natural graces, sleep.