The lunches of fifty-seven years had caused his chest to slip down to the mezzanine floor.


P. G. Wodehouse

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More P. G. Wodehouse

Every author really wants to have letters printed in the papers. Unable to make the grade, he drops ...
P. G. WODEHOUSE
It was my Uncle George who discovered that alcohol was a food well in advance of modern medical thou...
P. G. WODEHOUSE
I know I was writing stories when I was five. I don't know what I did before that. Just loafed I...
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Few of them were to be trusted within reach of a trowel and a pile of bricks.
P. G. WODEHOUSE
He was a tubby little chap who looked as if he had been poured into his clothes and had forgotten to...
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Her pupils were at once her salvation and her despair. They gave her the means of supporting life, b...
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Success comes to a writer as a rule, so gradually that it is always something of a shock to him to l...
P. G. WODEHOUSE
He was white and shaken, like a dry martini.
P. G. WODEHOUSE
She had a penetrating sort of laugh. Rather like a train going into a tunnel.
P. G. WODEHOUSE
I just sit at a typewriter and curse a bit.
P. G. WODEHOUSE
Golf... is the infallible test. The man who can go into a patch of rough alone, with the knowledge t...
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Has anybody ever seen a dramatic critic in the daytime? Of course not. They come out after dark, up ...
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I could see that, if not actually disgruntled, he was far from being gruntled.
P. G. WODEHOUSE
There is only one cure for gray hair. It was invented by a Frenchman. It is called the guillotine.
P. G. WODEHOUSE
The least thing upset him on the links. He missed short putts because of the uproar of the butterfli...
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Why don't you get a haircut? You look like a chrysanthemum.
P. G. WODEHOUSE
Flowers are happy things.
P. G. WODEHOUSE
It is a good rule in life never to apologize. The right sort of people do not want apologies, and th...
P. G. WODEHOUSE
Sudden success in golf is like the sudden acquisition of wealth. It is apt to unsettle and deteriora...
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Memories are like mulligatawny soup in a cheap restaurant. It is best not to stir them.
P. G. WODEHOUSE
To find a man's true character, play golf with him.
P. G. WODEHOUSE
Golf, like measles, should be caught young.
P. G. WODEHOUSE
Boyhood, like measles, is one of those complaints which a man should catch young and have done with,...
P. G. WODEHOUSE
Has anybody ever seen a drama critic in the daytime? Of course not. They come out after dark, up to ...
P. G. WODEHOUSE
The fascination of shooting as a sport depends almost wholly on whether you are at the right or wron...
P. G. WODEHOUSE
At the age of eleven or thereabouts women acquire a poise and an ability to handle difficult situati...
P. G. WODEHOUSE
A man's subconscious self is not the ideal companion. It lurks for the greater part of his life in s...
P. G. WODEHOUSE
If not actually disgruntled, he was far from being gruntled.
P. G. WODEHOUSE
Success comes to a writer, as a rule, so gradually that it is always something of a shock to him to ...
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He virtually lives on fish
P. G. WODEHOUSE
To find a man's true character, play golf with him.
P. G. WODEHOUSE
He felt like a man who, chasing rainbows, has had one of them suddenly turn and bite him in the leg.
P. G. WODEHOUSE
The cup of tea on arrival at a country house is a thing which, as a rule, I particularly enjoy. I li...
P. G. WODEHOUSE
Why don't you get a haircut? You look like a chrysanthemum.
P. G. WODEHOUSE
I pressed down the mental accelerator. The old lemon throbbed fiercely. I got an idea.
P. G. WODEHOUSE
"Chumps always make the best husbands. When you marry, Sally, grab a chump. Tap his forehead first,...
P. G. WODEHOUSE
She looked as if she had been poured into her clothes and had forgotten to say "when."
P. G. WODEHOUSE
If I had had to choose between him and a cockroach as a companion for a walking-tour, the cockroach ...
P. G. WODEHOUSE
Psmith is the only thing in my literary career which was handed to me on a plate with watercress rou...
P. G. WODEHOUSE
Unlike the male codfish which, suddenly finding itself the parent of three million five hundred thou...
P. G. WODEHOUSE
New York is a small place when it comes to the part of it that wakes up just as the rest is going to...
P. G. WODEHOUSE
She fitted into my biggest armchair as if it had been built round her by someone who knew they were ...
P. G. WODEHOUSE
Marriage isn't a process of prolonging the life of love, but of mummifying the corpse.
P. G. [SIR PELHAM GRENVILLE] WODEHOUSE
I always advise people never to give advice.
P. G. [SIR PELHAM GRENVILLE] WODEHOUSE
Has anybody ever seen a dramatic critic in the daytime? Of course not. They come out after dark, up ...
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My only objection to the custom of giving books as Christmas presents is perhaps the selfish one tha...
P. G. [SIR PELHAM GRENVILLE] WODEHOUSE
Golf...is the infallible test. The man who can go into a patch of rough alone, with the knowledge th...
P. G. [SIR PELHAM GRENVILLE] WODEHOUSE
Judges, as a class, display, in the matter of arranging alimony, that reckless generosity which is f...
P. G. [SIR PELHAM GRENVILLE] WODEHOUSE
Flowers are happy things.
P. G. [SIR PELHAM GRENVILLE] WODEHOUSE
He was a tubby little chap who looked as if he had been poured into his clothes and had forgotten to...
P. G. [SIR PELHAM GRENVILLE] WODEHOUSE
It is good rule in life to never to apologize. The right sort of people do not want apologies, and t...
P. G. [SIR PELHAM GRENVILLE] WODEHOUSE
Logically, if you grow up here and you are open minded, you go to college and never come back. If yo...
G. P. CHING
If he had a mind, there was something on it.
P.G. WODEHOUSE
Marriage is not a process for prolonging the life of love, sir. It merely mummifies its corpse.
P.G. WODEHOUSE
There is only one cure for grey hair. It was invented by a Frenchman. It is called the guillotine.
P.G. WODEHOUSE
It was one of those parties where you cough twice before you speak and then decide not to say it aft...
P.G. WODEHOUSE
If there is one thing I dislike, it is the man who tries to air his grievances when I wish to air mi...
P.G. WODEHOUSE
She looked as if she had been poured into her clothes and had forgotten to say "when".
P.G. WODEHOUSE
Everything in life that’s any fun, as somebody wisely observed, is either immoral, illegal or fatt...
P.G. WODEHOUSE
Bicky rocked, like a jelly in a high wind.
P.G. WODEHOUSE
He had just about enough intelligence to open his mouth when he wanted to eat, but certainly no more...
P.G. WODEHOUSE
And she's got brains enough for two, which is the exact quantity the girl who marries you will need.
P.G. WODEHOUSE
Freddie experienced the sort of abysmal soul-sadness which afflicts one of Tolstoy's Russian peasant...
P.G. WODEHOUSE
He had the look of one who had drunk the cup of life and found a dead beetle at the bottom.
P.G. WODEHOUSE
I'm not absolutely certain of the facts, but I rather fancy it's Shakespeare who says that it's alwa...
P.G. WODEHOUSE
I am not always good and noble. I am the hero of this story, but I have my off moments.
P.G. WODEHOUSE
Unseen in the background, Fate was quietly slipping lead into the boxing-glove.
P.G. WODEHOUSE
It was one of those cases where you approve the broad, general principle of an idea but can't help b...
P.G. WODEHOUSE
...and, according to my nearest and dearest, practically a half-witted bachelor at that.
P.G. WODEHOUSE
The fascination of shooting as a sport depends almost wholly on whether you are at the right or wron...
P.G. WODEHOUSE
There are moments, Jeeves, when one asks oneself, 'Do trousers matter?'"
"The mood will pass, s...
P.G. WODEHOUSE
He was a Frenchman, a melancholy-looking man. His aspect was that of one who has been looking for th...
P.G. WODEHOUSE
A melancholy-looking man, he had the appearance of one who has searched for the leak in life's gas-p...
P.G. WODEHOUSE
The brains of members of the Press departments of motion-picture studios resemble soup at a cheap re...
P.G. WODEHOUSE
Mike’s statement that he wanted to get up early and have a ride had been received by Psmith, with ...
P.G. WODEHOUSE
How long Archibald slept he could not have said. He woke some hours later with a vague feeling that ...
P.G. WODEHOUSE
No fair-minded girl objects to a certain tinge of jealousy. Kept within proper bounds, it is a compl...
P.G. WODEHOUSE
No sir," said Mr Molloy. "I'm mighty sorry I can't meet you in any way, but the fact is I'm all fixe...
P.G. WODEHOUSE
What ho!" I said.
"What ho!" said Motty.
"What ho! What ho!"
"What ho! What ho! What ...
P.G. WODEHOUSE
It is no use telling me there are bad aunts and good aunts. At the core, they are all alike. Sooner ...
P.G. WODEHOUSE
Gussie, a glutton for punishment, stared at himself in the mirror.
P.G. WODEHOUSE
At a time when she was engaged to Stilton Cheesewright, I remember recording in the archives that sh...
P.G. WODEHOUSE
In a series of events, all of which had been a bit thick, this, in his opinion, achieved the maximum...
P.G. WODEHOUSE
At the age of eleven or thereabouts women acquire a poise and an ability to handle difficult situati...
P.G. WODEHOUSE
I mean to say, I know perfectly well that I've got, roughly speaking, half the amount of brain a nor...
P.G. WODEHOUSE
It has been well said that an author who expects results from a first novel is in a position similar...
P.G. WODEHOUSE
That is life. Just one long succession of misunderstandings and rash acts and what not. Absolutely.
P.G. WODEHOUSE
There is no surer foundation for a beautiful friendship than a mutual taste in literature.
P.G. WODEHOUSE
The true philosopher is a man who says "All right," and goes to sleep in his armchair.
P.G. WODEHOUSE
Employers are like horses — they require management.
P.G. WODEHOUSE
The trouble with cats is that they've got no tact.
P.G. WODEHOUSE
From my earliest years I had always wanted to be a writer. It was not that I had any particular mess...
P.G. WODEHOUSE
She looked like something that might have occured to Ibsen in one of his less frivolous moments.
P.G. WODEHOUSE
The principle I always go on in writing a novel is to think of the characters in terms of actors in ...
P.G. WODEHOUSE
It was one of the dullest speeches I ever heard. The Agee woman told us for three quarters of an hou...
P.G. WODEHOUSE
Why do dachshunds wear their ears inside out?
P.G. WODEHOUSE
I flung open the door. I got a momentary flash of about a hundred and fifteen cats of all sizes and ...
P.G. WODEHOUSE
I know I was writing stories when I was five. I don’t remember what I did before that. Just loafed...
P.G. WODEHOUSE
If this is Upper Silesia, what on earth must Lower Silesia be like?
P.G. WODEHOUSE
What's the use of a great city having temptations if fellows don't yield to them?
P.G. WODEHOUSE
I'm not absolutely certain of my facts, but I rather fancy it's Shakespeare -- or, if not, it's some...
P.G. WODEHOUSE
But when I say 'cow', don’t go running away with the idea of some decent, self-respecting cudster ...
P.G. WODEHOUSE
Sober or blotto, this is your motto: keep muddling through.
P.G. WODEHOUSE
Has anybody ever seen a drama critic in the daytime? Of course not. They come out after dark, up to ...
P.G. WODEHOUSE
It seems to be one of Nature’s laws that the most attractive girls should have the least attractiv...
P.G. WODEHOUSE
Boyhood, like measles, is one of those complaints which a man should catch young and have done with,...
P.G. WODEHOUSE
A man's subconscious self is not the ideal companion. It lurks for the greater part of his life in s...
P.G. WODEHOUSE
He looked haggard and careworn, like a Borgia who has suddenly remembered that he has forgotten to s...
P.G. WODEHOUSE
One of the Georges - I forget which - once said that a certain number of hours' sleep each night - I...
P.G. WODEHOUSE
...there was practically one handwriting common to the whole school when it came to writing lines. I...
P.G. WODEHOUSE
One of the poets, whose name I cannot recall, has a passage, which I am unable at the moment to reme...
P.G. WODEHOUSE
You would not enjoy Nietzsche, sir. He is fundamentally unsound.
P.G. WODEHOUSE
Intoxicated? The word did not express it by a mile. He was oiled, boiled, fried, plastered, whiffled...
P.G. WODEHOUSE
It was a morning when all nature shouted "Fore!" The breeze, as it blew gently up from the valley, s...
P.G. WODEHOUSE
Golf, like measles, should be caught young.
P.G. WODEHOUSE
The least thing upset him on the links. He missed short putts because of the uproar of the butterfli...
P.G. WODEHOUSE
Golf... is the infallible test. The man who can go into a patch of rough alone, with the knowledge t...
P.G. WODEHOUSE
To find a man's true character, play golf with him.
P.G. WODEHOUSE
There is nothing an author today has to guard himself more carefully against than the Saga Habit. Th...
P.G. WODEHOUSE
It isn't often that Aunt Dahlia lets her angry passions rise, but when she does, strong men climb tr...
P.G. WODEHOUSE
A certain critic -- for such men, I regret to say, do exist -- made the nasty remark about my last n...
P.G. WODEHOUSE
Morning, Bill,' said Lord Tidmouth agreeably.

'Go to hell!' said Bill.

'Right-...
P.G. WODEHOUSE
The ideal adventurer needs... the quality of not being content to mind his own affairs...
P.G. WODEHOUSE
-'What do ties matter, Jeeves, at a time like this?'
There is no time, sir, at which ties do no...
P.G. WODEHOUSE
This is peculiarly an age in which each of us may, if he do but search diligently, find the literatu...
P.G. WODEHOUSE
He was one of those earnest, persevering dancers--the kind that have taken twelve correspondence les...
P.G. WODEHOUSE
It is the bungled crime that brings remorse.
P.G. WODEHOUSE
The coops were finished. They were not masterpieces, and I have seen chickens pause before them in d...
P.G. WODEHOUSE
All nice girls sketch a little.
P.G. WODEHOUSE
Have you ever seen a man, woman, or child who wasn’t eating an egg or just going to eat an egg or ...
P.G. WODEHOUSE
I went into the kitchen ten minutes back. The cat was sitting on the mat."

Beale's narra...
P.G. WODEHOUSE
He's such a dear, Mr. Garnet. A beautiful, pure, bred Persian. He has taken prizes."
"He's alwa...
P.G. WODEHOUSE
I was in that painful condition which occurs when one has lost one's first wind and has not yet got ...
P.G. WODEHOUSE
Conversationally, I am like a clockwork toy. I have to be set going.
P.G. WODEHOUSE
The ideas of debtor and creditor as to what constitutes a good time never coincide.
P.G. WODEHOUSE
It is a good rule in life never to apologize. The right sort of people do not want apologies, and th...
P.G. WODEHOUSE
There are situations in life which are beyond one. The sensible man realizes this, and slides out of...
P.G. WODEHOUSE
Man's inability to get out of bed in the morning is a curious thing. One may reason with oneself cle...
P.G. WODEHOUSE
Squiffy, have you ever felt a sort of strange emptiness in the heart? A sort of aching void of the s...
P.G. WODEHOUSE
Half a league
Half a league
Half a league onward
With a hey-nonny-nonny
And a ho...
P.G. WODEHOUSE
Like so many substantial citizens of America, he had married young and kept on marrying, springing f...
P.G. WODEHOUSE
I said, 'Don't talk rot, Old Tom Travers."
"I am not accustomed to talk rot," he said.
"Th...
P.G. WODEHOUSE
Red hair, sir, in my opinion, is dangerous.
P.G. WODEHOUSE
[A]lways get to the dialogue as soon as possible. I always feel the thing to go for is speed. Nothin...
P.G. WODEHOUSE
The storm is over, there is sunlight in my heart. I have a glass of wine and sit thinking of what ha...
P.G. WODEHOUSE
Into the face of the young man who sat on the terrace of the Hotel Magnifique at Cannes there had cr...
P.G. WODEHOUSE
It was a nasty look. It made me feel as if I were something the dog had brought in and intended to b...
P.G. WODEHOUSE
I mean, imagine how some unfortunate Master Criminal would feel, on coming down to do a murder at th...
P.G. WODEHOUSE
As a practising lawyer, I was mediocre, but I worked hard as a law officer of the state government a...
P. SATHASIVAM
If you go back to any period in India's history, all the hard decisions this country had to take...
P. CHIDAMBARAM
I have maintained that the people of India are ahead of their governments. The people of India are a...
P. CHIDAMBARAM
When I came back to India after Harvard Business School, I started as a lawyer and as a trade union ...
P. CHIDAMBARAM
Let me tell you, very frankly, when I went to the Harvard Business School I was more or less a commi...
P. CHIDAMBARAM
The police force cannot be completely independent of the executive government.
P. CHIDAMBARAM
We cannot afford to leave the poor behind.
P. CHIDAMBARAM
I don't think we should label budgets even before the budget is presented.
P. CHIDAMBARAM
A government can do only what is feasible given the political and economic context.
P. CHIDAMBARAM
Police can only act on intelligence.
P. CHIDAMBARAM
In income tax, there is no case for amnesty.
P. CHIDAMBARAM
The voter does not vote only on one issue, the voter votes on a multiplicity of issues.
P. CHIDAMBARAM
Growth is a panacea for many ills in society; not entirely, but many.
P. CHIDAMBARAM
I think people respect governments that take decisions and act decisively.
P. CHIDAMBARAM
Criticism of a policy is welcome. But in the garb of criticizing a policy, if you allege that the po...
P. CHIDAMBARAM
Two successive commissioners in London police were fired by the mayor that came into office. That do...
P. CHIDAMBARAM
People understand what is good for them in the long run. In the long run, what is good for people is...
P. CHIDAMBARAM
People are wiser than we are willing to attribute to them.
P. CHIDAMBARAM
'Big business' was a bad phrase in India. To be accused of being big business was the worst ...
P. CHIDAMBARAM
I respect the view of a rating agency, but I do not make a budget for the rating agency. I make a bu...
P. CHIDAMBARAM
It is possible that, post-Kyoto, the developed countries will recognise the requirements of the deve...
P. CHIDAMBARAM
Evidence points out that if you raise tariffs too much it will increase smuggling.
P. CHIDAMBARAM
All wisdom does not reside in Delhi.
P. CHIDAMBARAM
The concept of a Nash equilibrium n-tuple is perhaps the most important idea in noncooperative game ...
P. ORDESHOOK
Today, to allege corruption seems to be the pastime of most people. All kinds of allegations are lev...
P. CHIDAMBARAM
Carey's had though times as well, so between the two of us, it's perfect
P!NK
My mum and I have an incredible friendship now after a mixture of pain, honesty, unconditional love ...
P!NK
I can turn heartbreak into songs that help other people
P!NK
Independence is a very subjective assessment.
P. CHIDAMBARAM
There are checks and balances and broad separation of powers under the Constitution. Each organ of t...
P. SATHASIVAM
Television is not like making records. I wanna tell all you kids, do not try this at home, 'caus...
MASTER P
The true source of cheerfulness is benevolence.
P. GODWIN
Statistics are like lampposts: they are good to lean on, but they don't shed much light.
STORM P
When your looking for the love you thought you had for someone and it starts to become too difficult...
JASHON P
Love is about giving, about caring for the other person's welfare. Love is treating someone, in the ...
A. P.
One must live the way one thinks or end up thinking the way one has lived
P. BOURGET
...music, music, records, records, noise to cover silence.
A. P.
I feel pretty sure I know why the dinosaurs went extinct. They were waiting for Sam to pick out a ce...
P. ANASTASIA
Cry in love, But never cry after breakup, It will cry your life.
PRASHANT P
If I can go through what I've been through and do a television show with my son and then be a bo...
MASTER P
So what! I'm still a rockstar, I got my rock moves, and I don't need you!
P!NK
Nothing awakens the conscience like a lot of money.
P. SAINATH
Denying the poor access to knowledge goes back a long way. The ancient Smriti political and legal sy...
P. SAINATH
Too often, poverty and deprivation get covered as events. That is, when some disaster strikes, when ...
P. SAINATH
Keeping in touch with the people that matter is important.
G-EAZY
Seeing Dre looking all cut up and in shape made me want to get myself together and look right, too.
WARREN G
My thing is, I don't get in nobody's business or nothing like that or try to bash anybody fo...
WARREN G
I would provide more opportunities for the kids of urban communities to go to school and learn trade...
WARREN G
If I'm not putting out music, I'mma be producing for everybody. I got an artist named Mike S...
WARREN G
For 'Regulate,' I was at home, and I came up with it. I was listening to Michael McDonald...
WARREN G
Dr. Dre, my oldest brother, he paved the way for me and Snoop to get a chance to get into the studio...
WARREN G
Just to know that someone who's 15 years old is listening to my music and the work that I've...
WARREN G