The Minnesota Vikings went out and get Darren Sharper, Pat Williams, Napoleon Harris and Fred Smoot, ... And they still can't stop anybody.

I've got a better chance of winning the Kentucky Derby on the back of a donkey than they have of winning the Super Bowl with Kyle Boller.

We don't score 30 points a game. We don't have a receiver who can go and get you 180 yards. We don't have a quarterback who's going to throw for 350. But I'll tell you what we do have: A team that's going to the AFC Championship Game. All them big-time offenses, you know where they're at? Home watching us.

We looked a little sharper,

I think we can be sharper.

And therefore, Uncle, though it has never put a scrap of gold or silver in my pocket, I believe that [Christmas] has done me good, and will do me good; and I say, God bless it!