The only really good place to buy lumber is at a store where the lumber has already been cut and attached together in the form of furniture, finished, and put inside boxes.

Childbirth, as a strictly physical phenomenon, is comparable to driving a United Parcel truck through an inner tube.

If God had wanted us to be concerned for the plight of the toads, he would have made them cute and furry.

I regularly read Internet user groups filled with messages from people trying to solve software incompatibility problems that, in terms of complexity, make the U.S. Tax Code look like Dr. Seuss.

The nuclear generator of brain sludge is television.

I realize that I'm generalizing here, but as is often the case when I generalize, I don't care.