The only reason I was allowed to have a career for a quarter century as an insult comic is because it's all in jest and all for fun.


Lisa Lampanelli

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It is a lie.
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TIMOTHY BOTTOMS
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The only way a kid is going to practice is if it's total fun for him... and it was for me.
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She filed the image away as an excellent and insulting question to ask the earl at an utterly inappr...
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The Holocaust was an obscene period in our nation's history. I mean in this century's histor...
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All for all, always.
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If you don't chance your arm, you'll never break your neck.
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is a broken man an outlaw?"

"More or less." Brienne answered.

Septon Meribald ...
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EDWARD NORTON
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JACQUES RIGAUT
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You and what army of snaggled toothed wine sots?
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SARAH ADDISON ALLEN
I never did a day's work in my life. It was all fun.
THOMAS A. EDISON
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VICTORIA JUSTICE
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CHARLIE HADEN
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It is the fact that we are all different is that which makes us all the same.
JAIME CONTRERAS
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KEIR GILCHRIST
I don't see how the party that says it's the party of the family is going to adopt an immigr...
NEWT GINGRICH
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BOB SCHIEFFER
It's gone on my whole life, this David and Goliath syndrome that a lot of these smaller guys alw...
KEVIN NASH
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INBEE PARK
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ROBERT CARLYLE
It's easier with Lisa back on the floor. But this has helped our kids step up and improve. They migh...
KRISTEN PETERSON
If you want something, work hard for it, go after it. I can't worry about all the 'no's,...
MARA BROCK AKIL
When I first came to Hollywood I was told to go out with an agent because it was good for my career....
SALMA HAYEK
My career's been a steady, interesting, weird, frustrating, fun journey at all different times.
ELIZABETH REASER
Many of my poems try to use a comic element to reach a place that isn't comic at all. The comic ...
STEPHEN DOBYNS
I have friends who are leading men, and they're only ever allowed to play leading men of a certa...
EDDIE MARSAN
I was out to have a good time and have some fun. It's a fun script and fun people are in the mov...
HARVEY KEITEL
It was a really fun idea to have a fashion label with my sister but I don't have an awful lot of...
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It was the best news I could have hoped for. Receiving the Fulbright-Hays has allowed me to pursue a...
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I've done many ads because that's my new career. It's an inspiring extension for my mind...
KARL LAGERFELD
It's an image that the media has given me as a bad girl, and the only reason they gave me that i...
TONYA HARDING
I didn't feel compromised as an actor, and allowed other people's fingerprints all over that...
GREGORY HARRISON
For starters, that’s a rather simple principle of Time Travel right there – and according to the...
CHRISTINA ENGELA
I pole-dance. I do. I do it at an aerobics center. Having done gymnastics for 13 years, I find it...
SERINDA SWAN
Being an author is fun. It's a great job, because I can stay up as late as I want, and if I feel...
DAV PILKEY
This is a day we have managed to avoid for a quarter of a century.
JOHN GLENN

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The thing is, in the dating profiles it says 'spiritual,' but not with a specific religion. ...
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When doing comedy, I do what makes me laugh. The first person I learned from said I should talk abou...
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William Shatner is living proof that if you are talented and nice, you can work in this industry for...
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I always know that I can make it no matter what I go through. Because Jesus said, "during the worst ...
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Do not measure a relationship by your hearts desires, but only what you perceive through vision alon...
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Never take advice from someone who is swift to speak and slow to listen, or swift to listen and slow...
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It's from our sufferings that we form our consciousness.
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Our hunting areas are the grocery store.
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I was literally the black sheep of the family, and there were definitely moments of discomfort while...
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I like to browse in Cartier, Chanel and Gucci and if something special grabs my eye I splash out.
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Prisons are like the concentration camps of our time. So many go in and never come out, and primaril...
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I hate that bookstores are closing. Hate it! What's better than hanging out a bookstore, be it i...
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A pity that she gets so upset about little things, isn't it?"
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Ah, Evie,” she heard him say softly, “I must have a heart, after all…because right now it ache...
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We hug, but there are no tears. For every awful thing that's been said and done, she is my sister. P...
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May and I are sisters. We'll always fight, but we'll always make up as well. That's what sisters do:...
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Sisters, as you know, also have a unique relationship. This is the person who has known you your ent...
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Sometimes life has a cruel sense of humor, giving you the thing you always wanted at the worst time ...
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Was it hard?" I ask.
Letting go?"

Not as hard as holding on to something that wasn't...
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A man's vanity is more fragile that you might think. It's easy for us to mistake shyness for coldnes...
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I no longer believed in the idea of soul mates, or love at first sight. But I was beginning to belie...
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When you meet someone so different from yourself, in a good way, you don't even have to kiss to have...
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You are your own worst enemy. If you can learn to stop expecting impossible perfection, in yourself ...
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When you can inspire a muse, you've got it going on.
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You think I'd cheat on you?" I demanded with all the innocent outrage I could muster.

"Wi...
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Do you like that?” he whispered.
“Yes, I…” She fought to speak between helpless gasps....
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Hell was not a pit of fire and brimstone. Hell was waking up alone, the sheets wet with your tears a...
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The trick was forgetting about what she had lost ...and learning to go on with what she had left.
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Cabel gives her a quizzical look. "I am totally not getting enough attention here.
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That's the risk you take if you change: that people you've been involved with won't like the new you...
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A lover tries to stand in well with the pet dog of the house.
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I spent a lot of time feeling alienated and rejected.
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Keep in mind, our demographics of our state, how it breaks down in terms of political affiliation: o...
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I have no affectation when I speak.
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There are so many kids in this world, and in this country, that need homes. And so we're perfect...
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I like terrific writing, but I also like a terrific story. My favorite books have both, and they'...
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Decades ago, women suffered through horrifying back-alley abortions. Or, they used dangerous methods...
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I love writing both fiction and memoir. Both have unique challenges; bottom line, fiction is hard be...
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Alaskans need some certainty and clarity over how the Pebble Partnership intends to proceed. I under...
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RelayRides and WhipCar, AirBnB, Roomorama and One Fine Stay are all stellar examples of how new, acc...
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By learning about my body and making small, subtle changes, I find out what I enjoy and what is effe...
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You have principles. You test them as accurately as you can. Eventually, they might break down.
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The best education I have ever received was through travel.
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On long haul flights I always drink loads and loads of water and eat light and healthy food.
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I'm hosting weekend retreats all over America. It is like a 24-hour slumber party for moms. We l...
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When someone asks if you'd like cake or pie, why not say you want cake and pie?
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Everyone talks about age, but it's not about age. It's about work ethic. Winning never gets ...
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All I've really ever done is write since I was 17, so I don't know anything about anything. ...
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A brand is a voice and a product is a souvenir.
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There's something about childhood friends that you just can't replace.
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There's so much grey to every story - nothing is so black and white.
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I don't know what to do with myself when it's sunny!
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The guys in my band are great-we watch movies, we eat pizza, take walks, read books. Everybody has a...
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I fancy myself as being a fairly competent person.
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I started running when I was 21 years old and studying in China.
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I think that's something people need to convey because you see all these celebrity moms out ther...
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I have a zillion bottles of hot sauce. I love Trader Joe's jalapeno. The whole right side of my ...
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I honestly never had the biological need to reproduce until I met my husband. But by the same token,...
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I hope my desire to travel so much isn't forever because it's not the most conducive lifesty...
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When you take the time to understand why your parents did the things they did, you stand a good chan...
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You should treat your marriage like a business that you wouldn't want to let fail. I'm a big...
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My hope is that I can somehow raise the level of consciousness about world events.
LISA LING
We are such a product of our upbringing and environment.
LISA LING
I never run hills. My quads are already big enough. I don't run to build muscle; I do it for car...
LISA LING
Our time on Earth is so random.
LISA LING
I am a crazy online shopper. My husband always jokes, 'Another box arrived!' Airplanes used ...
LISA LING
We live in a culture where we're bombarded with so much noise and so much insecurity.
LISA LING
It is said that the way to prevent obesity is not to allow kids to become overweight in the first pl...
LISA LING
I don't remember my first trip, but I do remember when my mom took me to Disney World in Orlando...
LISA LING
People are starting to know more about it, but I was blown away by Almaty, Kazakhstan. It's like...
LISA LING
For me, it's all about channeling the mistakes I've made and just saying all the things I wi...
LISA BLATT
Read. Read until your eyes are sore. Then read some more.
LISA BLOOM
Love is always a leap into the unknown. You can try to control as many variables, and understand a s...
LISA KLEYPAS
Some of history's cleverest business minds understood the power of share platforms, from the agg...
LISA GANSKY
I have three siblings. My sister makes music. My older brother is a classical conductor, and my youn...
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I respect you," he murmured. "and your views. I think of you as an equal. I respect your brains, and...
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There are times when you need to pitch a fit and other times when you need to apply Catholic guilt, ...
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Truman Capote was a magical, beautiful writer.
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Insurance and funding traditionally drive capital investment. But in a world based on access, not ow...
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After an 18-year career, I left the film industry, not wanting to become one of those child-actor ca...
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At work, we have fantastic catering people. They feed the cast and crew all day, and they're sen...
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I use my cell phone as much as I can - I talk to friends all the time. I'm like 2,000 hours a mo...
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South Africa is the only place in the Southern hemisphere where Halloween is really catching on. The...
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It’s like I’m suddenly a hormonally charged teenager or living in a bad romance novel: I suddenl...
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My mother, at sixty, is one of those classic beauties: all neck and cheekbones, sharp lines that hid...
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Between the sisters' joined hands, the pressure of their pulses mingled in steady throbs. Daisy was ...
LISA KLEYPAS
I'd gone to Wellesley College, an amazing women's college where the students were encouraged...
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A weak but steady throb lay beneath Kev's searching fingertips. Win's heartbeat...the pulse that sus...
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Dear Deborah,

Words do not come easily for so many men. We are taught to be strong, to...
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We treat sex so casually and use it for everything but what it is-which is ultimately making another...
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And when I look at my mother, I reflect on her strength and endurance. She's cranky sometimes, b...
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Both of my parents would say they were atheists, so where I inherited my connection to God I don'...
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Parents are working more than ever before and unable to monitor what kids are eating at home, and sc...
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People come in and out of our lives, and the true test of friendship is whether you can pick back up...
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Music makes or breaks an atmosphere. It helps to create the mood and also is a very important aural ...
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'Await Your Reply' by Dan Chaon. I've always been obsessed with the idea of disappearing...
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With the notion of marriage - an exclusive, emotional, binding 'til death do you part' tie -...
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Coming from an Asian culture, I was always taught to respect my elders, to be a better listener than...
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I didn't feel a strong bond with the parents who raised me, and I had anything but a happy child...
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I think one of the appeals of suspense is to safely explore our innermost fears.
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In Britain, the major public holiday used to be Guy Fawkes Day... that was celebrated on November 5t...
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A lot of the basic research that helped us figure out fracking came from the federal government.
LISA MURKOWSKI
Physicists are interested in measuring neutrino properties because they tell us about the structure ...
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My love of baking might have originated with my grandmother. She had a lemon tree growing in her bac...
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We still have billions of barrels in Alaska that sit untapped. There are abundant reserves offshore ...
LISA MURKOWSKI
I'm obsessed with broccoli, carrots, celery, string beans, snap peas, black kale, brussels sprou...
LISA EDELSTEIN
It's a particular skill, I think, doing backing vocals. You're blending the vocals between t...
LISA HANNIGAN
With my daughter, we do arts and crafts, we read a lot, we listen to music, and we cut the strings o...
LISA LOEB
I have always had a ridiculous fear that I will walk into the bathroom one morning and find a python...
LISA GRAFF
Creativity is essential to particle physics, cosmology, and to mathematics, and to other fields of s...
LISA RANDALL
In Beverly Hills, it's very spoiled in terms of the quality of life. I think the climate and the...
LISA VANDERPUMP
Personally, I've always known that I wanted to go back to work because I'm confident, and I&...
LISA LING
If you have someone in your life that you are grateful for - someone to whom you want to write anoth...
LISA JAKUB
For me, being tall was very positive because I thought my mom was the most beautiful person ever.
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I'm also interested in pets with alopecia. And design. I'm surprised I haven't gone thro...
LISA VANDERPUMP
I really like Kickstarter because you don't have to be a Medici to fund the arts and sciences or...
LISA GANSKY
Damn it. What are we exactly calling a 'masculine problem'? Did he have trouble running the flag up?...
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If my love can hold you, I'll keep you with me.
LISA KLEYPAS
I wrote for twelve years and collected 250 rejection slips before getting any fiction published, ...
LISA ALTHER
I grab
a small container
of glitter.

Because this day,
this wonderful,
LISA SCHROEDER
I grab
a small container
of glitter.

Because this day,
this wonderful,
LISA SCHROEDER
Frost’s face darkened. “What gives you the right to speak for Miss Hathaway and her family?” <...
LISA KLEYPAS
You have to rely on whatever sparks you have inside.
LISA KLEYPAS
I want morning and noon and nightfall with you. I want your tears, your smiles, your kisses...the sm...
LISA KLEYPAS
You’ll never get a new ending if you keep starting with the same tired beginning.
LISA DAILY
To most Alaskans, Clinton is remembered as being the one individual who has shut Alaska down by veto...
LISA MURKOWSKI
We use a Native American tradition of the talking stick. You sit and pass it around and whoever has ...
LISA BONET
When I'm anchoring, I miss chasing stories in the field.
LISA GUERRERO
I have nothing to offer you," he finally said in a guttural voice.
"Nothing."
Win's lips h...
LISA KLEYPAS
I will admit, I once launched myself at Julie Garwood for a hug, hoping some of her magic would rub ...
LISA KLEYPAS
No day would be complete without chocolate. My favorite: Vosges Creole bar - it's dark chocolate...
LISA EDELSTEIN
Imagine that foreign development is not done to our standards and a spill occurs. Neither geology no...
LISA MURKOWSKI
In our house, everybody is always dancing around and singing. We have a dance floor outside at our h...
LISA RINNA
When I grew up we had gym at school, two or three dance classes after school, ice skating lessons, a...
LISA LOEB
If you're a disheveled, easily distracted person, it's always scary when someone asks what your plan...
LISA SMARTT
Words are like the delicate stitches in the dress you wear, holding the fabric of the garmet togethe...
LISA MANTCHEV
I don't necessarily make much art myself, but after I wrote 'Warped Passages,' I was for...
LISA RANDALL
Come with me,' Mom says.
To the library.
Books and summertime
go together.
LISA SCHROEDER
What if you could meet your soul mate?" the ghost asked. "You 'd want to avoid that?"
"Hell, ye...
LISA KLEYPAS
When you start to really know someone, all his physical characteristics start to disappear. You begi...
LISA UNGER
An almost indispensable skill for any creative person is the ability to pose the right questions. Cr...
LISA RANDALL
I've always known that performing is what I want to do. There was never a defining moment. I jus...
LISA O'HARE
I've learned you can make a mistake and the whole world doesn't end. I had to learn to allow...
LISA KUDROW
There's nothing particularly dark in my past... I live in the light. My disposition is basically...
LISA UNGER
Fact: I don't know of a single girl who doesn't wish the show-it-all boxer-shorts phenomenon would g...
LISA SAMSON
The stones in your driveway may have come from the slaves who spend all day breaking rocks because i...
LISA KRISTINE
I would like to be able to disappear whenever I do something dorky.
LISA MCMANN
She said she collects pieces of sky, cuts holes out of it with silver scissors, bits of heaven she c...
LISA ZARAN
I felt devalued and disrespected. The energy behind it felt disingenuous and motivated by corporate ...
LISA BONET
People who dismiss science in favor of religion sometimes confuse the challenge of rigorously unders...
LISA RANDALL
I think the skin revolution for women, I will call it, really all started with Mariah Carey. Madonna...
LISA BEDRICK
There's a variety and depth to the song topics I get to write about in children's music and ...
LISA LOEB
My own novel, 'The Silver Bough,' about the inhabitants of a remote town at risk of being ov...
LISA TUTTLE
Six years after I wrote the first draft of 'Plan B,' I received my first paycheck as a write...
LISA LUTZ
I didn't realize what an impact having a No. 1 single would have. It connects me with people of ...
LISA LOEB
Harvard freshmen are smart, interested, and excited, and it's fun hearing their different perspe...
LISA RANDALL
Think about how our country was built. The greatness came from our diversity; the greatness came fro...
LISA MURKOWSKI
I think it's fair to say that women have a different level of intuitiveness that allows them to ...
LISA MURKOWSKI
The letter had been crumpled up and tossed onto the grate. It had burned all around the edges, so th...
LISA KLEYPAS
Ah, there’s the governess voice. All stern and disapproving. It makes me feel like a naughty schoo...
LISA KLEYPAS
Hair color is the easiest way to change your appearance, but a bad dye job might draw more attention...
LISA LUTZ
Love is like pi - natural, irrational, and VERY important. -Lisa Hoffman.
LISA HOFFMAN
Love is only the game that is not called on account of darkness.
LISA HOFFMAN