FastSaying

The only thing wrong with Southern Baptists was they didn't hold them underwater long enough.


Kinky Friedman

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KINKY FRIEDMAN I even went so far as to become a Southern Baptist for a while, until I realized that they didn'...
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JOHN SHEFFIELD My family are very, very religious in Texas. They're Southern Baptists. I left to go to New York...
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IMELDA MARCOS The biggest thing was convincing them they were good enough to win.
DON TRENTHAM Hold to a thing long enough, a secret, a desire, maybe a lie, and it will shape you.
MARK LAWRENCE The rung of a ladder was never meant to rest upon, but only hold man's foot long enough to enable hi...
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FRIEDERIKE BOSZKO We have a denominationally diverse group, ... Our group includes some Southern Baptists, some Missio...
CLARK JOHNSON We have a denominationally diverse group. Our group includes some Southern Baptists, some Missionary...
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EARL WILSON Snow and adolescence are the only problems that disappear if you ignore them long enough.
EARL WILSON Adolescence and snow are the only problems that disappear if you ignore them long enough.
UNKNOWN I am always amused by them. They aren't wrong, but they just aren't project- specific enough.
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ROSS MACDONALD Southern Baptists have their greatest opportunity to say 'Jesus' to the lost people of the Gulf Coas...
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KINKY FRIEDMAN The Democrats and Republicans are the same guy admiring themself in the mirror.
KINKY FRIEDMAN I support gay marriage. I believe they have a right to be as miserable as the rest of us.
KINKY FRIEDMAN The folks in Mississippi are saying, 'Thank God for Texas.'
KINKY FRIEDMAN I just want Texas to be number one in something other than executions, toll roads and property taxes...
KINKY FRIEDMAN I don't remember the first half of my life. All I say is a happy childhood is the worst possible...
KINKY FRIEDMAN Musicians can run this state better than politicians. We won't get a lot done in the mornings, b...
KINKY FRIEDMAN I don't apologize to people who try to intimidate.
KINKY FRIEDMAN How can you look at the Texas legislature and still believe in intelligent design?
KINKY FRIEDMAN I don't apologize to people with an agenda.
KINKY FRIEDMAN Remember: Y'all is singular. All y'all is plural. All y'all's is plural possessive.
KINKY FRIEDMAN May the God of your choice bless and keep you. I respect Him as long as He does not circumcise me an...
KINKY FRIEDMAN Politics is the only field in which the more experience you have, the worse you get.
KINKY FRIEDMAN If Willie Nelson had been Rosa Parks, there never would have been a civil rights movement in this co...
KINKY FRIEDMAN I never apologize for the truth. And the truth here is that racists come in many different colors.
KINKY FRIEDMAN Well, I just said that Jesus and I were both Jewish and that neither of us ever had a job, we never ...
KINKY FRIEDMAN The only currency I value is the coin of the spirit. That's very important in my life.
KINKY FRIEDMAN You struggle with your demons and you conquer them.
KINKY FRIEDMAN I've always said money may buy you a fine dog, but only love can make it wag its tail.
KINKY FRIEDMAN A happy childhood... is the worst possible preparation for life.
KINKY FRIEDMAN I'm too young for Medicare and too old for women to care.
KINKY FRIEDMAN I admit I was drinking a Guinness... but I did not swallow.
KINKY FRIEDMAN Money can buy you a fine dog, but only love can make him wag his tail.
KINKY FRIEDMAN You have to pretend that your life is a financial pleasure even when your autographs are bouncing.
KINKY FRIEDMAN We've got to clear some of the room out of the prisons so we can put the bad guys in there, like...
KINKY FRIEDMAN William Bennett is my patron saint, one of them. Redd Foxx is another.
KINKY FRIEDMAN Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.
KINKY FRIEDMAN Yes, I'm a Judeo-Christian. Jesus and Moses are in my heart, and... both of them were independen...
KINKY FRIEDMAN When I'm governor... I'll be the first governor with a listed telephone number.
KINKY FRIEDMAN Students don't know who Mark Twain was because he wasn't on the test.
KINKY FRIEDMAN Why the Hell Not?
KINKY FRIEDMAN Remember, I'm not running against Rick Perry; I'm running against apathy,
KINKY FRIEDMAN Friday night was the night most people thought they were supposed to have fun. Trouble was most peop...
KINKY FRIEDMAN Remember, the Legislature is the joke, not our campaign, ... I think we've got a real, real shot.
KINKY FRIEDMAN I'm a gambler, and now I'm betting on Texas,
KINKY FRIEDMAN But believe me, we can win this thing with a big turnout. And Rick Perry knows it. That's what the J...
KINKY FRIEDMAN If you elect me the first Jewish justice of the peace, I'll reduce the speed limits to 54.95!
KINKY FRIEDMAN Whatever we're going to do, we're going to make it fun.
KINKY FRIEDMAN This is really happening. It isn't a dream, or maybe it is, but it's one long, long overdue.
KINKY FRIEDMAN I'd felt that a man without a woman was like a neck without a pain
KINKY FRIEDMAN Always beware of people offering you one-time money. That only works in an election year. How are yo...
KINKY FRIEDMAN One eye is laughing and one eye is crying. And the eye that is crying is because this governor has b...
KINKY FRIEDMAN How sad for him to be hoping for a small turnout.
KINKY FRIEDMAN Our people are going to be with us, and her people are going to be with her, and there's plenty of t...
KINKY FRIEDMAN It's not a slam dunk.
KINKY FRIEDMAN I admit I was drinking a Guinness . . . but I did not swallow.
KINKY FRIEDMAN I don't see how the people who created the problem can fix it. Texas is worth fighting for, and the ...
KINKY FRIEDMAN Students don't know who Mark Twain was because he wasn't on the test.
KINKY FRIEDMAN We've had to be creative to get on the ballot.
KINKY FRIEDMAN This is a bad idea. It's like having Dubai run the ports of America. It means we'll be paying tolls ...
KINKY FRIEDMAN I've always said that this campaign is running on the coin of the spirit. I've also said a journey o...
KINKY FRIEDMAN I've always thought that she was pretty spunky. I like her spirit.
KINKY FRIEDMAN Many of us feel that the soul of Texas may be riding on this campaign. I would dearly love to be num...
KINKY FRIEDMAN Texas can lead the country. We won't be slaves to the Middle East.
KINKY FRIEDMAN The folks in Mississippi are saying, 'Thank God for Texas.'
KINKY FRIEDMAN Jesse is a virtual gold mine of information. He's been through the fire. He knows what works and doe...
KINKY FRIEDMAN There will be a whole new spirit blowing through Texas. There will be a smile on everybody's face an...
KINKY FRIEDMAN I have a better head of hair than Rick Perry; it's just not in a place I can show you.
KINKY FRIEDMAN People are drooling for the truth. They want honesty from politicians, and they're not getting it.
KINKY FRIEDMAN It seems to me the governor has just discovered we have a border.
KINKY FRIEDMAN The first thing I'll do if elected is demand a recount.
KINKY FRIEDMAN If you ain't Texan, I ain't got time for you.
KINKY FRIEDMAN The rung of a ladder was never meant to rest upon, but only to hold a man's foot long enough to enab...
THOMAS HENRY HUXLEY I think, with suits and clothes, if you keep them long enough, they all come back in fashion.
ROD STEWART The only thing that holds a marriage together is the husband being big enough to step back and see w...
ARCHIE BUNKER The only thing an actor owes his public is not to bore them.
MARLON BRANDO Memories were fine but you couldn't touch them, smell them or hold them. They were never exactly as ...
CECELIA AHERN The only thing more frustrating than slanderers is those foolish enough to listen to them.
CRISS JAMI Any woman with kinky textured hair - can wear it, love it and manage it. She only needs the right to...
MONICA MILLNER

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Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder
KINKY FRIEDMAN The Democrats and Republicans are the same guy admiring themself in the mirror.
KINKY FRIEDMAN I support gay marriage. I believe they have a right to be as miserable as the rest of us.
KINKY FRIEDMAN The folks in Mississippi are saying, 'Thank God for Texas.'
KINKY FRIEDMAN I just want Texas to be number one in something other than executions, toll roads and property taxes...
KINKY FRIEDMAN I don't remember the first half of my life. All I say is a happy childhood is the worst possible...
KINKY FRIEDMAN Musicians can run this state better than politicians. We won't get a lot done in the mornings, b...
KINKY FRIEDMAN I don't apologize to people who try to intimidate.
KINKY FRIEDMAN How can you look at the Texas legislature and still believe in intelligent design?
KINKY FRIEDMAN I don't apologize to people with an agenda.
KINKY FRIEDMAN Remember: Y'all is singular. All y'all is plural. All y'all's is plural possessive.
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KINKY FRIEDMAN The only currency I value is the coin of the spirit. That's very important in my life.
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KINKY FRIEDMAN A happy childhood... is the worst possible preparation for life.
KINKY FRIEDMAN I'm too young for Medicare and too old for women to care.
KINKY FRIEDMAN I admit I was drinking a Guinness... but I did not swallow.
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KINKY FRIEDMAN We've got to clear some of the room out of the prisons so we can put the bad guys in there, like...
KINKY FRIEDMAN William Bennett is my patron saint, one of them. Redd Foxx is another.
KINKY FRIEDMAN Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.
KINKY FRIEDMAN Yes, I'm a Judeo-Christian. Jesus and Moses are in my heart, and... both of them were independen...
KINKY FRIEDMAN When I'm governor... I'll be the first governor with a listed telephone number.
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KINKY FRIEDMAN Why the Hell Not?
KINKY FRIEDMAN Remember, I'm not running against Rick Perry; I'm running against apathy,
KINKY FRIEDMAN Friday night was the night most people thought they were supposed to have fun. Trouble was most peop...
KINKY FRIEDMAN Remember, the Legislature is the joke, not our campaign, ... I think we've got a real, real shot.
KINKY FRIEDMAN I'm a gambler, and now I'm betting on Texas,
KINKY FRIEDMAN But believe me, we can win this thing with a big turnout. And Rick Perry knows it. That's what the J...
KINKY FRIEDMAN I even went so far as to become a Southern Baptist for a while, until I realized that they didn't ho...
KINKY FRIEDMAN If you elect me the first Jewish justice of the peace, I'll reduce the speed limits to 54.95!
KINKY FRIEDMAN Whatever we're going to do, we're going to make it fun.
KINKY FRIEDMAN This is really happening. It isn't a dream, or maybe it is, but it's one long, long overdue.
KINKY FRIEDMAN I'd felt that a man without a woman was like a neck without a pain
KINKY FRIEDMAN Always beware of people offering you one-time money. That only works in an election year. How are yo...
KINKY FRIEDMAN One eye is laughing and one eye is crying. And the eye that is crying is because this governor has b...
KINKY FRIEDMAN How sad for him to be hoping for a small turnout.
KINKY FRIEDMAN Our people are going to be with us, and her people are going to be with her, and there's plenty of t...
KINKY FRIEDMAN It's not a slam dunk.
KINKY FRIEDMAN I admit I was drinking a Guinness . . . but I did not swallow.
KINKY FRIEDMAN I don't see how the people who created the problem can fix it. Texas is worth fighting for, and the ...
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KINKY FRIEDMAN There will be a whole new spirit blowing through Texas. There will be a smile on everybody's face an...
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THOMAS FRIEDMAN A Code of Honor: Never approach a friend's friend or wife with mischief as your goal. There are just...
BRUCE FRIEDMAN Never be possessive. If a female friend lets on that she is going out with another man, be kind and ...
BRUCE FRIEDMAN The most important thing about a TV set is to get it back against something and not out in the middl...
BRUCE FRIEDMAN A Code of Honor: Never approach a friend's girlfriend or wife with mischief as your goal. There are ...
BRUCE FRIEDMAN A Code of Honor: Never approach a friend's girlfriend or wife with mischief as your goal. There are ...
BRUCE FRIEDMAN Never be possessive. If a female friend lets on that she is going out with another man, be kind and ...
BRUCE FRIEDMAN If it's a cliche to say that intellectual curiosity keeps your mind sharp, your senses alert, an...
ADENA FRIEDMAN I didn't see your backbone. I felt like you were sleeping though the lyrical dance.
BRIAN FRIEDMAN It allows your car to run on straight vegetable oil just the same way you would on diesel, with very...
BRIAN FRIEDMAN I knew once one person had one, their friend would get one, and their neighbor would get one and it ...
BRIAN FRIEDMAN To be honest, I never wanted to live in L.A.. I like this area, but L.A.'s a pit, sorry. I'm from Sa...
BRIAN FRIEDMAN They were getting progressively violent.
BRIAN FRIEDMAN Your fox trot is the smoothest I've seen yet.
BRIAN FRIEDMAN It's not a hippie experiment anymore, ... It actually works and it works really well.
BRIAN FRIEDMAN The more Israel sinks into the West Bank, the more it is delegitimized and isolated, the more the wo...
THOMAS FRIEDMAN