The opera…is to music what a bawdy house is to a cathedral.

Opera in English is, in the main, just about as sensible as baseball in Italian.

A professor must have a theory as a dog must have fleas.

Faith may be defined briefly as an illogical belief in the occurrence of the improbable.

Democracy is only a dream: it should be put in the same category as Arcadia, Santa Claus, and Heaven.

Strike an average between what a woman thinks of her husband a month before she marries him and what she thinks of him a year afterward, and you will have the truth about him.