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If I can stand up when I'm 80, I'll be happy to cruise around on a skateboard. If I feel lik... TONY HAWK It's also that comedians don't have the kind of narcissism that actors have. They're wri...
RACHEL WEISZ A senator will come off Capitol Hill and they'll be barred from two years from lobbying in the S...
JACK ABRAMOFF Teachers don't just teach; they can be vital personalities who help young people to mature, to under...
CHARLES PLATT I've never really considered doing stand up, but I have done readings/spoken word things fairly ...
LAURIE NOTARO
Comedians work great as actors because they're good under pressure. With a lot of actors, you ha... LOUIS C. K. Coming from the Midwest, I didn't know about stand-up as an art. I just thought stand-up comedia...
NATASHA LEGGERO They have a different style, they do a lot of nice things and they stick-handle well. They're all ve...
AARON MARVIN It's a big undertaking. Most of these girls are so young, you just have to take your lumps. I really...
BETH MCNAMARA
If you're passionate about something and stick with it, even if your friends aren't doing it... ELIZABETH GILLIES As we got older, their mischiefs continued to be shrugged off, but mine were not, and I knew from th...
MARY E. PEARSON I go to a lot of stand-up comedy. I find more inspiration from observational stuff than from rap.
RIZ AHMED
They might not need me; but they might. I'll let my head be just in sight; a smile as small as m... EMILY DICKINSON I'll read a script maybe twice, but I'll think about the role more than I'll rehearse li...
PATRICIA CLARKSON
Sometimes I'll be reading something online and just get so frustrated because of what people are... BRUCE ERIC KAPLAN I can do more than just stand-up comedy, and the only way I'll be able to show that is if I do i...
DANE COOK
Master storytellers like Jeffrey Archer and Arthur Hailey use simple language. But they manage to gr... ASHWIN SANGHI When I meet people after stand-up shows, they'll bring their cars.
ADAM FERRARA
Oprah's got good politics, she's got a good heart, and she'll have us all up Jazzercisin... MICHAEL MOORE
I didn't really like the aloneness of doing stand-up. The comedians by nature weren't very -... STEVE BUSCEMI The point is with good maths skills you have just wonderful opportunities and if you don't have ...
MARCUS DU SAUTOY
We are far from perfect but willing to be different. CRAIG GROESCHEL
The pressure on young chefs today is far greater than ever before in terms of social skills, marketi... GORDON RAMSAY
The things that make me angry still make me angry. George Carlin is 67, and he's still as funny ... DENIS LEARY They took a story that was going to be laugh lines for late-night comedians and turned it into a fro...
STEPHEN HESS
Sometimes fitness is a good thing to have, but you have to recognise that fitness takes you only so ... RAHUL DRAVID You look at a herd of cattle and well, they all look the same... but they know. They all have an ind...
CHRIS COOPER
Comedians are really writers who don't have pens and pencils about them, but they riff. CARL REINER What we look for are people that can come in and make an impact. They are brave and challenging, and...
LINDA GILLIAN
A friend should bear a friend's infirmities, But Brutus makes mine greater than they are. WILLIAM SHAKESPEARE
A friend should bear a friend's infirmities,
But Brutus makes mine greater than they are. WILLIAM SHAKESPEARE
The reason why you know more funny dudes than funny chicks is that dudes are funnier than chicks. If... ADAM CAROLLA They got all the size over there, and the teams are really good, so, I think night after night you&#...
LATRELL SPREWELL So I was in America and I thought I'll stick around while I'm here and just see what happens...
RADHA MITCHELL I don't like comedians who don't have conviction, and with stand-up, it is always best to ha...
JACK WHITEHALL
Many friends of mine told me that normally only guys like a kung fu movie and the girls would be tur... DONNIE YEN
People have to talk about something just to keep their voice boxes in working order so they'll h... KURT VONNEGUT
I feel angry that I can't be hypnotized. I'm not putting it down, and I'm not saying tha... THEODORE STURGEON All the collaborators of storytelling, in film and television, have to be partly self-centered becau...
RAY MCKINNON
I find my fans are really funny people. Most comedians can't say that about their fans. MIKE BIRBIGLIA It can be hard to say if someone has a deliberate intent to defraud or if they are just really, real...
VICTORIA STRAUSS I don't think their personalities are necessarily these big, extraordinary, larger-than-life charact...
JOSH ROSENFELD
Lots of people can write a good first page but to sustain it, that's my litmus test. If I flip t... CARL HIAASEN I've always thought really good artists in general are overqualified. You're paid to stand t...
PAUL GUILFOYLE
The best marriages are the ones where we can go out in the world and really put ourselves out there.... BRENE BROWN It's kind of different, but they are good guys and we actually skated pretty well together I thought...
ANDREW KUECHLER We haven't seen anything that jumps off the page. But there are illnesses that seem to be occurring ...
CAROLYN TABAK I'll drive down the street, and I'll practice improv. I will sit there at a red light and se...
J. B. SMOOVE Pickup lines are a major turn-off, they don't work on me and I tune them out. It's better to...
KIM SMITH
If I feel really ugly or unhappy, sometimes I'll choose bright colors so they'll make me fee... JILL SCOTT
So many people are insanely busy nowadays, and it's easy to say, 'Ah, I'll workout tomor... DEREK JETER
Women should try to increase their size rather than decrease it, because I believe the bigger we are... ROSEANNE BARR I used to devour a lot of stand-up comedy in my cousin's basement. He had cable and I didn't...
SEBASTIAN MANISCALCO
A comedian is sort of like a wild animal. It really just depends on where you catch them. Sometimes ... NICK KROLL I'm 24, so I'll go out and, yeah, have a few drinks and dance - I love to dance - and have a...
JOSIE LOREN
All these movies are observational comedies. I see somebody, maybe a dry cleaner, and notice how the... CHRISTOPHER GUEST
A family is a risky venture, because the greater the love, the greater the loss... That's the tr... BRAD PITT Some days I'll have good starts, and some days I'll have bad starts. I'm really focusing...
NATE HOLLAND Anyway, how can you sack anyone who still hasn't got a contract. I'll be there for the game ...
PAUL GASCOIGNE
Generally I find that kids ask better questions than you get with adults. Something that kids will d... JAMES PATTERSON
In my mind, numbers and words are far more than squiggles of ink on a page. They have form, color, t... DANIEL TAMMET
I started keeping track of my pet peeves and so far have counted over 160... but to pick one: muffin... AUBREY PEEPLES With learning lines, before I had Alfie, I'd put it off and think, 'Oh, I'll just have a...
LESLEY MANVILLE It's difficult for me to feel that a solid page without the breakups of paragraphs can be intere...
A. E. VAN VOGT I am very happy to say I look just like my dad. But mothers always think their children are prettier...
JAMES BLUNT I'm quite nosy. Somebody will be reading a book on a train, and I'll go: 'How is it? Is ...
OPHELIA LOVIBOND
Stand up comedy is this thing you get to do, so you have to treat it with respect. You can't jus... BILL BURR
I don't really have foresight as an actor as far as career trajectory - I just stick to no-brain... ADAM DRIVER
I just can't stand the fact that they're going out on their own - I love having my kids arou... TIM DALY
Stand-up comedians say that anyone in the audience can be funny, but people paid to see us because w... J. D. SOUTHER Some of these deceased personalities have Q scores equal to or greater than some of the live persona...
STEVEN LEVITT
I don't pay attention to celebrities. I don't photograph them. They don't dress so... in... BILL CUNNINGHAM
Comedians are really writers who don't have pens and pencils about them, but they riff. CARL REINER
I think kids are natural actors. You watch most kids; if they don't have a toy, they'll pick... CLINT EASTWOOD After the comedy boom of the '80s, there was a certain formula that comedians had to do and coul...
SCOTT AUKERMAN I've met so many remarkable people so far, coming up through stand-up all these years, who just ...
BOB SAGET
Dancers work and they work and they work, and they master their skills so far that improvisation jus... PETE CARROLL There is something that you can do, for a greater good, for a greater cause, one that is far bigger ...
KEVIN ABDULRAHMAN
I always wanted to be a comedic actor - that's what I wanted from the job - to do comedy and to ... ADAM DEVINE I'm well-travelled so I can see places coming up. I went to St. Croix in the West Indies at Chri...
MELANIE BROWN On 'Stranger Than Fiction,' the script was so good that I stuck to every line because it was...
MARC FORSTER I definitely think the way the game is transforming, becoming more and more athletic, guys are great...
DANIEL NESTOR
But I'll tell you what hermits realize. If you go off into a far, far forest and get very quiet,... ALAN WATTS They are special players. They have great stick skills, but will learn early how quick the game is a...
GEORGE GWOZDECKY
I used to say, 'Man, I think I'd be a really good dad. I'll be a great provider. I'm... ELIZABETH GILBERT
Sometimes when I pick up a book off the shelf, when I'm buying a new book to read, I'll look... JENNIFER CARPENTER D.C. fans, I think, are so good. They just come up to me, and they're so nice and so polite and ...
BRYCE HARPER So far we seem to be off to a very good start. Clearly the two companies have different cultures but...
ERIC BENHAMOU
I believe that if you'll just stand up and go, life will open up for you. TINA TURNER They're very raw. They're lacrosse I.Q. isn't that great. The big thing is their stick skills. They'...
ANTHONY AMMIRATA
If someone thinks, 'I'll spend the off season working on my fitness and I'll come back a... RAHUL DRAVID We can stand up and tell people they ought to be keeping up-to-date with patches, but in the real wo...
ERIC HEMMENDINGER Growing up in D.C. there are so many different types of educational and professional levels. They ca...
LAZ ALONSO I wish to Christ I could make up a really great lie. Sometimes, after an interview, I say to myself,...
WILLEM DAFOE
People talk about tactics, but when you look at it, tactics are just players. You change things so t... PEP GUARDIOLA
I love make-up so much, but I'm a bit rubbish at skincare; I'm really disloyal and never sti... POPPY DELEVINGNE You just have to go to bat and take a swing. And if you're not right for a part, or it goes to a...
TANYA FISCHER
You can find heroism everyday, like guys working terrible jobs because they've got to support th... HARVEY PEKAR Reading is a free practice. I think the readers are free to begin by the books where they want to. T...
J. M. G. LE CLEZIO I was just trying to catch him. He had a little bit of a step on me. I just waited for him to bring ...
COLBY ARMSTRONG
