The thing is that love gives us a ringside seat on somebody else's flaws, so of course you're gonna spot some things that kinda need to be mentioned. But often the romantic view is to say, 'If you loved me, you wouldn't criticise me.' Actually, true love is often about trying to teach someone how to be the best version of themselves.
Alain de Botton
Related Are you taking us to the beach?" - Dan Cahill JUDE WATSON It looks ancient," - Amy Cahill JUDE WATSON It SMELLS ancient," - Dan Cahill JUDE WATSON Palm trees were fanned by a warm, light breeze, and they rolled down their windows to smell the sea. JUDE WATSON Let's head out to the ruins." - Dan Cahill ROLAND SMITH I can tell you that you will have your hearts broken more by the people you love than by the people ... MARGARET PETERSON HADDIX For me, the most interesting people are ones who often work against their best interests. Bad choice... PAUL HAGGIS It's not often talked about what a wonderful feeling it is to see someone that you care about lo... TOM STURRIDGE Love is saying you're sorry. It's the opposite of those cherub posters that say, 'Love i... DIANE LANE The love you get, is equal to the love you give. BEN OAK I tend to be that swimmer that doesn't look like she is trying, but is actually dying on the ins... CATE CAMPBELL I don't like the negative of reality tv - the 'you're no good, so you have to leave, I c... BOB SAGET For me, I love food. It's my greatest pleasure and also the thing that could ruin you as well. I... JON FAVREAU There's so much to argue about. That was the goal with 'Really Really.' Somebody asked m... PAUL DOWNS COLAIZZO People say to me, 'You don't seem that interested in interviews.' Well, you know, I'... ANDY MURRAY The thing about cooking is it's so interesting to watch. I don't know why, but if you go to ... CHRISTOPHER WALKEN I like to interpret 'Call me a River', as if I'm saying, 'Now you're telling me ... DIANA KRALL A lot of people say, 'Wow, you're a single father of twin boys, that's crazy!' Two t... RICKY MARTIN I think one great tip is that you should always love yourself. If you don't love yourself, take ... KIMORA LEE SIMMONS There's a fundamental difference between how often men remember to say 'I love you' and ... BRETT YOUNG Here's the thing, men have to also mature in how they see women, too. Because they need to under... JADA PINKETT SMITH I know now: what is is all that matters. Not the thing you know is meant to be, not what could be, n... AUGUSTEN BURROUGHS A lot of people say to me, 'Stay grounded; be humble.' David Schwimmer was just like, 'Y... MILLIE BOBBY BROWN I think certainly that looking for love is a big part of the show, but I think that if - there's... DARREN STAR I think sometimes all you need is to hear someone else say the same thing that you're going thro... SARAH MCLACHLAN Comedy is such a vulnerable thing. With drama, you're not trying to make someone cry. If you do,... HARLEY QUINN SMITH There will always be a part of me that wants to do a movie musical. I feel like you're doing you... ANNA KENDRICK If you're going to think mean things about me or not be a true friend, then we don't need to... KAY PANABAKER The truth is, people don't know me. When people don't know you, they're going to try to ... TREVOR NOAH We have this myth that if you work hard, you can accomplish anything. It's not a very American t... DAVID LINDSAY-ABAIRE If we're honest, we all have some measure of wrong believing in our lives. If you don't beli... JOSEPH PRINCE With the stand-up comic on TV, whether it's Seinfeld or Cosby or Roseanne, more important than t... BOB NEWHART Love is agony, isn't it? I've been involved with someone for some time now, but it's all... DAPHNE GUINNESS There's only so many variations on the basics of human relationships. To me, it's all about ... K. FLAY Texting is not flirting, if you don't care about me enough to say the words than that's not ... LAUREN GRAHAM I love working on films and I'd love to do some interesting work, but if somebody asked me, '... JACKIE EARLE HALEY If you sit in a room and think you're the only one that needs to be loved, then you have a big p... AKSEL HENNIE You've got to be picky in this business - if you're not, then I don't think you have the... AARON PAUL To me, every interview, even if you love the artist, needs to be somewhat adversarial. Which doesn... CHUCK KLOSTERMAN If my son came to me years from now and told me, 'I'm gay,' I'd say, 'That's... VIVIENNE MING You're not going to say anything about me that I'm not going to say about myself. There'... EMINEM One of the great things to pretend is that you're not only alright, you're in great shape. N... CARRIE FISHER On a day when you're tired, it's important to just say good morning to everyone so they'... LINDSAY LOHAN Nobody is gonna love you like you. You're gonna be your best salesman. T.I. If I can be an inspiration for someone, that's fine, but just don't look down on me. Don'... MARK ZUPAN I'd love to stay in baseball, but I won't beg. I'd love to work with young umpires. I th... DOUG HARVEY Many writers can't make a living. So to be able to teach how to write is valuable to them. But I... CHINUA ACHEBE Be kind. We never know what people are going through. Give grace and mercy because one day your circ... GERMANY KENT About f-f-ace!" she said to the horse, flailing with her boots. "Into the barn, please. It's time fo... PETER LERANGIS You see?" Damien leaned over his desk and spread out half a dozen charcoal sketches. "These are only... RICK RIORDAN So often, we're expected to maintain some sort of standard - that won't get you where you ne... TAYLOR SCHILLING The trick is not to become somebody else. You become somebody else when you're in front of a cam... ERNEST BORGNINE With drama, you know if you're having a true moment, but in comedy, if somebody doesn't laug... BROOKE NEVIN It's something that I love about this business and that scares me about this business, but in a ... CANDICE ACCOLA If you're you, it doesn't matter if you're the most boring person in the world: someone ... LIL UZI VERT You can't let someone else lower your self-esteem, because that's what it is - self-esteem. ... WINNIE HARLOW I'm just not into trying to convince people like me. I always say to myself, 'It is what it ... NENE LEAKES That's what acting is. You're pretending to be someone else. SAOIRSE RONAN There's something about me that suggests I don't have an intelligent atom in me at all. So p... JENNIFER COOLIDGE Bullies are often people who are shy and can't make friends easily, so, as the theme of the movi... PHILIP ZIMBARDO I'm in love with lots of different things. I do love love, though. I don't think love should... ALEXA CHUNG It's insane to me to ask anybody to be what they're not. Know what you know the best, love t... GARY VAYNERCHUK People often ask me, 'How do you go about choosing who to feature on Into The Gloss?' And I&... EMILY WEISS The talent that has to be learned is finding out what someone's passion is and setting them up t... PETE CASHMORE I think that one of the things that you do learn is that falling in love and being in love with some... JULIANNE MOORE You can't try to be somebody you're not; that's not style. If someone says, 'Buy thi... IRIS APFEL I see it every day: People trying to create a home that somebody else tells them they should have. I... NATE BERKUS I'm always gonna be crazy about dishes in the sink. Crazy! Because it's a sign of disrespect... LARA LOGAN It's very strange that the people you love are often the people you're most cruel to. KENNETH BRANAGH The only thing about kissing anyone on screen is that forced intimacy is never pleasant. If you don&... MATTHEW DADDARIO When I found somebody who I fell in love with, it made me feel different than I felt the rest of the... LANA DEL REY I love stories with love in them. I just prefer those films. Every so often, I come across a film wh... RACHEL MCADAMS Whatever it is you're doing, whether it's your career or a particular focus, if you're t... GRANT ACHATZ If you're the person living closest to the parent who's going to need help, and you take on ... GAIL SHEEHY I think that one of the things that we have to recognize is that the longer somebody doesn't hav... KEVIN HASSETT Romantic love is mental illness. But it's a pleasurable one. It's a drug. It distorts realit... FRAN LEBOWITZ People always used to say to me, 'Don't you want your own show? That'd be so cool if you... CANDY CROWLEY What is it that makes you so angry, bothers you so deeply, that you're compelled to act? CRAIG GROESCHEL The truth is that we don't need everyone to like us; we need a few people to love us. Because wh... JESSICA VALENTI I never weigh myself. That's the best advice I can give - never step on a scale. You know if you... ELAINE IRWIN You think that being a girl is degrading, but secretly, you'd love to know what it's like, w... CHARLOTTE GAINSBOURG One of the things I love about Africa is the amount of dignity and respect and humility you see all ... JILL SCOTT There's always a side of me that goes, 'I'm just a nerd.' I never look at myself and... HEATHER GRAHAM People don't know how to place me in their consciousness. They think, 'Oh, you must be here ... RUPAUL It's into the same bag as E.T. and Yoda, wherein you're trying to create something that peop... JIM HENSON In my own relationships, I know that I should break up with someone who doesn't encourage me to ... VERONICA ROTH It's often just enough to be with someone. I don't need to touch them. Not even talk. A feel... MARILYN MONROE If death is in the room, it's pretty interesting. But I would also say that I'm interested i... GEORGE SAUNDERS People like music when they're in love, but they don't need it as much. You need music when ... TAYLOR SWIFT Kindness is universal. Sometimes being kind allows others to see the goodness in humanity through yo... GERMANY KENT Acting is so exciting to me. It's a thrill; otherwise I wouldn't do it. Not to be hokey, but... ELIZABETH MITCHELL Nowadays, people don't ask you how you are, they say, 'Are you busy?' meaning, 'Are ... JO ANN DAVIS It should be if you're a good singer and a good songwriter, you should have your spot. You get e... RANDY HOUSER People often say to me, 'I don't know anything about dance.' I say, 'Stop. You got u... TWYLA THARP I need to be looked after. I'm not talking about diamond rings and nice restaurants and fancy st... KATE WINSLET I had one girl tell me last night that I'm the greatest thing ever, that she wants to aspire to ... CARLI LLOYD Any guy hates Valentine's Day. Even if you're in love, you can't win on Valentine's ... VINCE VAUGHN What I love to say when people ask me about being a Christian, I always say, 'Christians aren... YVETTE NICOLE BROWN Kids should be allowed to break stuff more often. That's a consequence of exploration. Explorati... NEIL DEGRASSE TYSON I often say to people that producing is the best-paid form of cowardice. When you produce things, yo... BRIAN ENO
More Alain de Botton
Pick up any newspaper or magazine, open the TV, and you'll be bombarded with suggestions of how ... ALAIN DE BOTTON Atheism is having a heyday in the born-again United States. ALAIN DE BOTTON What bothers me is that there is so much emphasis on food, rather than gathering and meeting - so th... ALAIN DE BOTTON Though it may feel otherwise, enjoying life is no more dangerous than apprehending it with continuou... ALAIN DE BOTTON One rarely falls in love without being as much attracted to what is interestingly wrong with someone... ALAIN DE BOTTON We read the weird tales in newspapers to crowd out the even weirder stuff inside us. ALAIN DE BOTTON There's a whole category of people who miss out by not allowing themselves to be weird enough. ALAIN DE BOTTON Intimacy is the capacity to be rather weird with someone - and finding that that's ok with them. ALAIN DE BOTTON The more familiar two people become, the more the language they speak together departs from that of ... ALAIN DE BOTTON ...if the beginnings of love and amorous politics are equally rosy, then the ends may be equally blo... ALAIN DE BOTTON In the works of Lucretius, we find two reasons why we shouldn ALAIN DE BOTTON The longing for a destiny is no nowhere stronger than in our romantic life. All too often forced to ... ALAIN DE BOTTON He did not mean to depress us, rather to free us from expectations which inspire bitterness. It is c... ALAIN DE BOTTON At the top of the slope on the perimeter of the site, overlooking six lanes of motorway, is a diner ... ALAIN DE BOTTON I was an incredibly lonely, very alienated teenager. ALAIN DE BOTTON I am not a foodie, thank goodness. I will eat pretty much anything. A lot of my friends are getting ... ALAIN DE BOTTON There is militaristic-hegemonic-plutocratic side of the U.S. which is getting out of hand and threat... ALAIN DE BOTTON It's almost a blessing when we meet people who naturally want to do the sort of things that are ... ALAIN DE BOTTON It's very hard to respect people on holiday - everybody looks so silly at the beach, it makes yo... ALAIN DE BOTTON Small issues are really just large ones that haven't been accorded the requisite attention. ALAIN DE BOTTON Fantasies can be great, but we shouldn't make the wedding a fantasy, because the wedding is the ... ALAIN DE BOTTON Most of the time, we make discoveries about how difficult people are at the moment when the difficul... ALAIN DE BOTTON I'm one of those introverted people who simply feels a lot better after spending time alone thin... ALAIN DE BOTTON My dad was a slightly stricter version of Richard Dawkins. The worldview was that there are idiots o... ALAIN DE BOTTON Laughter is an important part of a good relationship. It's an immense achievement when you can m... ALAIN DE BOTTON The materialistic view of happiness of our age starkly revealed in our understanding of the word "lu... ALAIN DE BOTTON We tend to think of philosophies as produced by professional philosophers. Traditionally, this has m... ALAIN DE BOTTON The romantic person instinctively sees marriage in terms of emotions, but what a couple actually get... ALAIN DE BOTTON Not being understood may be taken as a sign that there is much in one to understand. ALAIN DE BOTTON What makes people good communicators is, in essence, an ability not to be fazed by the more problema... ALAIN DE BOTTON A world where a majority had imbibed the lessons implicit within tragic art would be one in which th... ALAIN DE BOTTON Parents don't reveal how often they have bitten their tongue, fought back the tears, or been too... ALAIN DE BOTTON We each appear to hold within ourselves a range of divergent views as to our native qualities.. And ... ALAIN DE BOTTON The humanities have been forced to disguise, both from themselves and their students, why their subj... ALAIN DE BOTTON I assemble my ideas in pieces on a computer file, then gradually find a place for them on a piece of... ALAIN DE BOTTON Sometimes my biography is interpreted as the upbringing of a French aristocrat. It was very, very di... ALAIN DE BOTTON Cynics are - beneath it all - only idealists with awkwardly high standards. ALAIN DE BOTTON The more people you have to ask for permission, the more dangerous a project gets. ALAIN DE BOTTON What annoys me about most self-help books is that they have no tragic sense. They have no sense that... ALAIN DE BOTTON The arrogance that says analysing the relationship between reasons and causes is more important than... ALAIN DE BOTTON I passionately believe that's it's not just what you say that counts, it's also how you ... ALAIN DE BOTTON Forgiveness requires a sense that bad behaviour is a sign of suffering rather than malice. ALAIN DE BOTTON The start receives such disproportionate attention because it isn't deemed to be just one phase amon... ALAIN DE BOTTON Feeling lost, crazy and desperate belongs to a good life as much as optimism, certainty and reason. ALAIN DE BOTTON If you are pro love, you have to be a little bit disloyal to the romantic feelings that propel you i... ALAIN DE BOTTON The number one person who needs my books is me. I'm not some sort of disinterested guru who has ... ALAIN DE BOTTON Parents become very good at not hearing the explicit words and listening instead to what the child m... ALAIN DE BOTTON Secular thinkers have a separation between thinking and doing. They don't have a grasp of the ba... ALAIN DE BOTTON The pleasure we derive from journeys is perhaps dependent more on the mindset with which we travel t... ALAIN DE BOTTON I waste most of the day, then finally start to write around 3 P.M., totally disgusted with myself fo... ALAIN DE BOTTON We have to put aside the customary historical reading of works of art in order to invite art to resp... ALAIN DE BOTTON I remember going to university, and the people who'd left home for the first time looked at the ... ALAIN DE BOTTON The moment we cry in a film is not when things are sad but when they turn out to be more beautiful t... ALAIN DE BOTTON Everyone's more vulnerable than they seem, and I think men are more vulnerable. Once you get clo... ALAIN DE BOTTON At 'The School of Life', we take seriously anything that has to do with human fulfilment - a... ALAIN DE BOTTON A city like London is sociable in a sense that there are people gathering in bars and restaurants, c... ALAIN DE BOTTON I was foreign and Jewish, with a funny name, and was very small and hated sport, a real problem at a... ALAIN DE BOTTON As for despair, it comes about when I have been a fool and hate myself and despair of my personality... ALAIN DE BOTTON Therapy and counseling can do wonderful things for people. But they have emerged so far as what are ... ALAIN DE BOTTON The idea that one might use art for 'instrumental' reasons tends to set off alarm bells at t... ALAIN DE BOTTON We are never through with the requirement for acceptance. This isn't a curse limited to the inadequa... ALAIN DE BOTTON Status anxiety definitely exists at a political level. Many Iraqis were annoyed with the US essentia... ALAIN DE BOTTON I passionately believe that's it's not just what you say that counts, it's also how you say it - tha... ALAIN DE BOTTON I am in general a very pessimistic person with an optimistic, day-to-day take on things. The bare fa... ALAIN DE BOTTON We are certainly influenced by role models, and if we are surrounded by images of beautiful rich peo... ALAIN DE BOTTON The Arab-Israeli conflict is also in many ways a conflict about status: it's a war between two p... ALAIN DE BOTTON Getting to the top has an unfortunate tendency to persuade people that the system is OK after all. ALAIN DE BOTTON Katie Price is no exception. She, too, is - in a distinctive way - a philosopher. Partially, Katie P... ALAIN DE BOTTON Used to do a lot of falling in love with people, almost in the street, and imagining that there woul... ALAIN DE BOTTON Le Corbusier is an outstanding writer. His ideas achieved their impact in large measure because he c... ALAIN DE BOTTON Since the beginning of the 20th century, the public's relationship to art has been weakened by a... ALAIN DE BOTTON There's a certain kind of insular, old-fashioned, upper-class Britishness that gives me the spoo... ALAIN DE BOTTON After Carol had left, as Symons threw away a pile of used tissues and rearranged the cushions on the... ALAIN DE BOTTON I am conscious of trying to stretch the boundaries of non-fiction writing. It's always surprised... ALAIN DE BOTTON I've had my successes and failures. I know many academics in my field loathe me. I've come t... ALAIN DE BOTTON Sweetness is the opposite of machismo, which is everywhere - and I really don't get on with mach... ALAIN DE BOTTON For thousands of years, it had been nature--and its supposed creator--that had had a monopoly on awe... ALAIN DE BOTTON Everyone returns us to a different sense of ourselves, for we become a little of who they think we a... ALAIN DE BOTTON Perhaps the easiest people to fall in love with are those about whom we know nothing. Romances... ALAIN DE BOTTON A person cannot be at once a libertine and a married Romantic, however compelling both paradigms mig... ALAIN DE BOTTON We owe it to the fields that our houses will not be the inferiors of the virgin land they have repla... ALAIN DE BOTTON What we typically call love is only the start of love. Our understanding of love has been hijacked a... ALAIN DE BOTTON On account of its scale and complexity, the world will always outstrip the capacity of any single bo... ALAIN DE BOTTON Kant and Hegel are interesting thinkers. But I am happy to insist that they are also terrible writer... ALAIN DE BOTTON Emotional life is - alongside work - one of the great challenges of existence and is a theme that I ... ALAIN DE BOTTON The most attractive are not those who allow us to kiss them at once (we soon feel ungrateful) or tho... ALAIN DE BOTTON Booksellers are the most valuable destination for the lonely, given the numbers of books that were w... ALAIN DE BOTTON There are few more effective ways to promote tolerance between suspicious neighbours than to force t... ALAIN DE BOTTON There's a constant tension between the excitement of new people and security with one person. If... ALAIN DE BOTTON We are all more intelligent than we are capable, and awareness of the insanity of love has never sav... ALAIN DE BOTTON There is no one more likely to destroy us than the person we marry. ALAIN DE BOTTON The challenge lies in knowing how to bring this sort of day to a close. His mind has been wound to a... ALAIN DE BOTTON Many people in the intellectual elite are very scared of shouting. They insist on very quiet murmurs... ALAIN DE BOTTON as the determinants of high status keep shifting, so, too, naturally, will the triggers of status an... ALAIN DE BOTTON Far from rejecting outright any hierarchy of success or failure, philosophy instead reconfigures the... ALAIN DE BOTTON It is according to how we are able to answer the question of what we do (normally the first enquiry ... ALAIN DE BOTTON Philosophy, art, politics, religion and bohemia have never sought to do away entirely with the statu... ALAIN DE BOTTON People who hold important positions in society are commonly labelled "somebodies," and their inverse... ALAIN DE BOTTON The desire for high status is never stronger than in situations where "ordinary" life fails to answe... ALAIN DE BOTTON There is a danger of developing a blanket distaste for modern life which could have its attractions ... ALAIN DE BOTTON Anyone who isn't embarrassed of who they were last year probably isn't learning enough. ALAIN DE BOTTON Most of what makes a book 'good' is that we are reading it at the right moment for us. ALAIN DE BOTTON A 'good job' can be both practically attractive while still not good enough to devote your entire li... ALAIN DE BOTTON There is no such thing as work-life balance. Everything worth fighting for unbalances your life. ALAIN DE BOTTON When does a job feel meaningful? Whenever it allows us to generate delight or reduce suffering in ot... ALAIN DE BOTTON One's doing well if age improves even slightly one's capacity to hold on to that vital truism: "This... ALAIN DE BOTTON A good half of the art of living is resilience. ALAIN DE BOTTON ...workplace dynamics are no less complicated or unexpectedly intense than family relations, with on... ALAIN DE BOTTON We are humiliated by what is powerful and mean, but awed by what is powerful and noble. ALAIN DE BOTTON Literature has always had its circus side, its freaks and its frivolities - and maybe that's all par... ALAIN DE BOTTON I love the idea of a university as away from capitalist values, where people can do things that don&... ALAIN DE BOTTON What makes the prospect of death distinctive in the modern age is the background of permanent techno... ALAIN DE BOTTON It seems, in fact, that the more advanced a society is, the greater will be its interest in ruined t... ALAIN DE BOTTON It is one of the unexpected disasters of the modern age that our new unparalleled access to informat... ALAIN DE BOTTON In a secularising world, art has replaced religion as a touchstone of our reverence and devotion. ALAIN DE BOTTON Blind impatience is equally evident in the fruit section. Our ancestors might have delighted in the ... ALAIN DE BOTTON Bitterness: anger that forgot where it came from. ALAIN DE BOTTON Only as we mature does affection begin to depend on achievement. ALAIN DE BOTTON Don't despair: despair suggests you are in total control and know what is coming. You don't - surren... ALAIN DE BOTTON We are continuously challenged to discover new works of culture—and, in the process, we don’t al... ALAIN DE BOTTON We may seek a fortune for no greater reason than to secure the respect and attention of people who w... ALAIN DE BOTTON In Britain, because I live here, I can also run into problems of envy and competition. But all this ... ALAIN DE BOTTON Snobbery exists in all areas of life, not least literary criticism. By snobbery I mean, any method o... ALAIN DE BOTTON Pick up any newspaper or magazine, open the TV, and you'll be bombarded with suggestions of how to h... ALAIN DE BOTTON It is the most ambitious and driven among us who are the most sorely in need of having our reckless ... ALAIN DE BOTTON I've tried to write about Heathrow before and been escorted off the premises. ALAIN DE BOTTON Because I have this thing about birthdays--they always remind me of death and forced jollity. ALAIN DE BOTTON He was a volatile mixture of confidence and vulnerability. He could deliver extended monologues on p... ALAIN DE BOTTON The feeling one has no time to get anything done provides the pressure that guarantees one does get ... ALAIN DE BOTTON I'm fascinated by Comte's clear-eyed analysis of what was wrong with modern society, which i... ALAIN DE BOTTON The largest part of what we call 'personality' is determined by how we've opted to defend ourselves ... ALAIN DE BOTTON It is in dialogue with pain that many beautiful things acquire their value. Acquaintance with grief ... ALAIN DE BOTTON The most courageous act in politics is to try to understand your opponent. ALAIN DE BOTTON The idea of a book that can make a change to your life, that can affect your perspective, is a beaut... ALAIN DE BOTTON The philosophy I love is very selective. It is really just the bit that is involved in a search for ... ALAIN DE BOTTON It is hope--with regard to our careers, our love lives, our children, our politicians, and our plane... ALAIN DE BOTTON I learnt to stop fantasising about the perfect job or the perfect relationship because that can actu... ALAIN DE BOTTON He was marked out by his relentless ability to find fault with others' mediocrity--suggesting that a... ALAIN DE BOTTON There are books that speak to us of our own lives with a clarity we cannot match. They prevent the m... ALAIN DE BOTTON On paper, being good sounds great but a lot depends on the atmosphere of the workplace or community ... ALAIN DE BOTTON Travel is a lot like love. ALAIN DE BOTTON What is fascinating about marriage is why anyone wants to get married. ALAIN DE BOTTON I feel that the great challenge of our time is the communication of ideas. ALAIN DE BOTTON Learning to give up on perfection may be just about the most romantic move any of us could make. ALAIN DE BOTTON Work is a way of bringing order to chaos, and there's a basic satisfaction in seeing that we are... ALAIN DE BOTTON I like working with people. I believe change can only come through collaboration. ALAIN DE BOTTON I see religion as a storehouse of lots of really good ideas that a secular world should look at, rai... ALAIN DE BOTTON Rather than getting more spoilt with age, as difficulties pile up, epiphanies of gratitude abound. ALAIN DE BOTTON For the rest of history, for most of us, our bright promise will always fall short of being actualis... ALAIN DE BOTTON In 'Art as Therapy', we argue that art is a tool that can variously help to inspire, console... ALAIN DE BOTTON I was a very un-literary child, which might reassure parents with kids who don't read. ALAIN DE BOTTON In our more arrogant moments, the sin of pride—or superbia, in Augustine's Latin formulation—tak... ALAIN DE BOTTON Partially undermining the manufacturer's ability to assert that its work constituted a meaningful co... ALAIN DE BOTTON Pegging your contentment to the overall state of the world rather than of your own life: the basis o... ALAIN DE BOTTON The solution as consumers is - perhaps surprisingly - to take adverts very, very seriously. We shoul... ALAIN DE BOTTON We don't need to be constantly reasonable in order to have good relationships; all we need to have m... ALAIN DE BOTTON To look at the paper is to raise a seashell to one's ear and to be overwhelmed by the roar of humani... ALAIN DE BOTTON I think of myself as quite a shy person. But when I'm curious about something, I'll go quite... ALAIN DE BOTTON Artworks are especially good at helping our psyches in a variety of ways: they rebalance our moods, ... ALAIN DE BOTTON [T]he unsympathetic assessments we make of others are usually the result of nothing more sinister th... ALAIN DE BOTTON It is not only the hostility of others that may prevent us from questioning the status quo. Our will... ALAIN DE BOTTON The most boring and unproductive question one can ask of any religion is whether or not it is true. ALAIN DE BOTTON Whatever modern democracies may tell themselves about their commitment to free speech and to diversi... ALAIN DE BOTTON The true nature of bureaucracy may be nowhere more obvious to the observer than in a developing coun... ALAIN DE BOTTON To be loved by someone is to realize how much they share the same needs that lie at the heart of our... ALAIN DE BOTTON We fall in love because we long to escape from ourselves with someone as beautiful, intelligent, and... ALAIN DE BOTTON Being content is perhaps no less easy than playing the violin well: and requires no less practice. ALAIN DE BOTTON A storyteller who provided us with such a profusion of details would rapidly grow maddening. Unfortu... ALAIN DE BOTTON We used to build temples, and museums are about as close as secular society dares to go in facing up... ALAIN DE BOTTON The Anxiety of Sunday afternoon: your unlived lives and infinite possibility pressing upon the const... ALAIN DE BOTTON Blessed with riches and possibilities far beyond anything imagined by ancestors who tilled the unpre... ALAIN DE BOTTON We need a home in the psychological sense as much as we need one in the physical: to compensate for ... ALAIN DE BOTTON Even if our loved ones have assured us that they will be busy at work, even if they told us they hat... ALAIN DE BOTTON You normally have to be bashed about a bit by life to see the point of daffodils, sunsets and uneven... ALAIN DE BOTTON What a peculiar civilisation this was: inordinately rich, yet inclined to accrue its wealth through ... ALAIN DE BOTTON Despite the best efforts of critics and the hopes of authors, our tastes in books are probably as in... ALAIN DE BOTTON We would like to go and see the field that Millet…shows us in his Springtime, we would like Claude... ALAIN DE BOTTON Our feelings of anxiety are genuine but confused signals that something is amiss, and so need to be ... ALAIN DE BOTTON Paying tax should be framed as a glorious civic duty worthy of gratitude - not a punishment for maki... ALAIN DE BOTTON It was no longer her absence that wounded me, but my growing indifference to it. Forgetting, however... ALAIN DE BOTTON Perhaps it is true that we do not really exist until there is someone there to see us existing, we c... ALAIN DE BOTTON Every fall into love involves the triumph of hope over self-knowledge. We fall in love hoping we won... ALAIN DE BOTTON Nature puts us all in our places. Being made to feel small isn't something we welcome when it's done... ALAIN DE BOTTON in Flaubert’s eyes, that only entirely illiterate and uneducated Frenchmen now stood a chance of b... ALAIN DE BOTTON A clean conscience is the preserve of those without sufficient imagination. ALAIN DE BOTTON In the past, Flaubert implied, idiots had had no clue as to what the carbon structure of diamonds wa... ALAIN DE BOTTON Never too late to learn some embarrassingly basic, stupidly obvious things about oneself. ALAIN DE BOTTON But we would do well to meditate daily, rather as the religious do on their God, on the 9.5 trillion... ALAIN DE BOTTON To a shameful extent, the charm of marriage boils down to how unpleasant it is to be alone. This isn... ALAIN DE BOTTON One of the best protections against disappointment is to have a lot going on. ALAIN DE BOTTON What kills us isn't one big thing, but thousands of tiny obligations we can't turn down for fear of ... ALAIN DE BOTTON Booksellers are the most valuable destination for the lonely, given the numbers of books written bec... ALAIN DE BOTTON It is precisely when we hear little from our partner which frightens, shocks, or sickens us that we ... ALAIN DE BOTTON Unrequited love may be painful, but it is safely painful, because it does not involve inflicting dam... ALAIN DE BOTTON It's clear to me that there is no good reason for many philosophy books to sound as complicated as t... ALAIN DE BOTTON Jarenlang kwam ik bij het boodschappen doen langs een huis dat weliswaar een van de lelijkste gebouw... ALAIN DE BOTTON Snobbery exists in all areas of life, not least literary criticism. By snobbery I mean, any method o... ALAIN BOTTON Kant and Hegel are interesting thinkers. But I am happy to insist that they are also terrible writer... ALAIN BOTTON I passionately believe that's it's not just what you say that counts, it's also how you say it - tha... ALAIN BOTTON I am in general a very pessimistic person with an optimistic, day-to-day take on things. The bare fa... ALAIN BOTTON