The trouble with this country is that there are too many people going about saying, The trouble with this country is...

Winter is not a season, it's an occupation.

When audiences come to see us authors lecture, it is largely in the hope that we'll be funnier to look at than to read.

Pugnacity is a form of courage, but a very bad form.

Damn the great executives, the men of measured merriment, damn the men with careful smiles oh, damn their measured merriment.

There are two insults no human being will endure: that he has no sense of humor, and that he has never known trouble.