The trouble with writing a book about yourself is that you can't fool around. If you write about someone else, you can stretch the truth from here to Finland. If you write about yourself the slightest deviation makes you realize instantly that there may be honor among thieves, but you are just a dirty liar.

Groucho Marx

Groucho Marx

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Donâ€™t ever underestimate the importance of money. I know itâ€™s often been said that money wonâ€™t make you happy and this is undeniably true, but everything else being equal, itâ€™s a lovely thing to have around the house.

— Groucho Marx

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If income tax is the price you have to pay to keep the government on its feet, alimony is the price we have to pay for sweeping a woman off hers.

— Groucho Marx

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I must say I find television very educational. The minute somebody turns it on, I go to the library and read a good book.

— Groucho Marx

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Love flies out the door when money comes innuendo.

— Groucho Marx

Quote me as saying I was mis-quoted.

— Groucho Marx