The very purpose of existence is to reconcile the glowing opinion we hold of ourselves with the appalling things that other people think about us.

The consuming desire of most human beings is deliberately to plant their whole life in the hands of some other person. I would describe this method of searching for happiness as immature. Development of character consists solely in moving toward self-sufficiency.

Never keep up with Joneses. Drag them down to your level. It's cheaper.

I am unable to believe in a God susceptible to prayer. I simply haven't the nerve to imagine a being, a force, a cause which keeps the planets revolving in their orbits, and then suddenly stops in order to give me a bicycle with three speeds.

When coming to the end of an interview: 'You must stop this interview now as I have come to end of my personality'.

Don't do housework: after a few years the dirt doesn't get any worse.