The world is full of little dictators trying to run your life.

All the rivers run into the sea; yet the sea is not full.

We're not just trying to be dictators of taste.

When you fill your gas tank, a portion goes to dictators, sheiks and crooks around the world who funnel some of this money to terrorists, ... We need to stop importing oil from people who want to destroy our way of life.

Democracy consists of choosing your dictators, after they've told you what you think it is you want to hear.

When I was in the hospital they gave me apple juice every morning, even after I told them I didn't like it. I had to get even. One morning, I poured the apple juice into the specimen tube. The nurse held it up and said, 'It's a little cloudy.' I took the tube from her and said, 'Let me run it through again,' and drank it. The nurse fainted.