There are three principal ways to lose money: wine, women, and engineers. While the first two are more pleasant, the third is by far the more certain.

A pessimist is a man who thinks everybody is as nasty as himself, and hates them for it.

Optimism is denial for chumps with no life experience".
"What's pessimism?" I said.
"Religion without God.

So desperate was Kugel for things to turn out for the best, proclaimed Professor Jove, that he couldn't stop worrying about the worst. Hope, said Professor Jove, was Solomon Kugel's greatest failing.

I will be the first to admit that I am a pessimist by nature. It is, after all, the wisest way to be. We pessimists have everything to gain, whereas optimists have a fifty-fifty chance of being disappointed.

The man who is a pessimist before 48 knows too much; if he is an optimist after it he knows too little.