There is a type of snobbish, pompous journalist who thinks that the only news that has any validity is war, famine, pestilence or politics. I don't come from that school.

There are many different ways of categorizing news. It doesn't have to be just war and famine and serious politics.

We now know that one of the footman at the palace was a Daily Mirror journalist,

People who get up early in the morning cause war, death and famine.

Anyone who thinks they're important is usually just a pompous moron who can't deal with his or her own pathetic insignificance and the fact that what they do is meaningless and inconsequential...

I am absolutely desperate to win, purely to see Jeremy Clarkson's face as I do a little celebratory conga on stage.